If You Marry Me, Would You... (Frerard)

Frank was laying on the bed with his eyes open slightly.

He couldn't fall asleep after the sex they had about an hour ago. He didn't even feel tired after his orgasm, which followed Gerard's shortly.

Something was bothering him. Something was poking at the back of his mind, preventing him from relaxing.

Gerard had been so confusing lately. The man could disappear in the middle of the night, come back looking like he'd just fought ghosts, and then pretend like everything was fine when Frank asked him about it.

He'd been keeping secrets. Too many of them, or maybe it was just a really big one, one that put him in danger...

The thought of Gerard not being safe, whether he admitted it to Frank or not, made the younger's lower lip tremble a little with sadness and dread.

He slowly looked up at his sleeping boyfriend, who laid on his side facing the younger. Frank blinked his tears away and reached a shaky hand to cup Gerard's cheek. He gently skimmed his fingers over the soft skin of his face, brushing his forehead slowly, and nose, rubbing his thumb across the other's lower lip.

Frank wanted to know what was wrong. He knew he wouldn't be able to ignore these things forever. He managed to catch a glimpse of the many bruises Gerard had on his torso as they kissed. The bruises were fresh, meaning he got them while he was out.

Who was he seeing? Why did they hurt him?

Maybe it was Michael, Frank thought. The younger brother was the only person he knew that could've done this to him.

But then, what about... the other man?

That man. The one he didn't recognize, the one that raped Gerard, the one who was kissing with him outside their house. Who was he? Should Frank even ask?

He didn't know. He didn't know a thing. Gerard was hiding a lot more than he was letting on. So much more. The young man could just see it in his eyes.

And they've been together for a while now. Didn't he have the right to know?

Perhaps Gerard was just trying to protect him. If he was in the middle of something extremely dangerous that put them in a risk, he probably wouldn't want Frank to know, so the boy won't get scared...

Or he was cheating.

What? No. Gerard wouldn't cheat. He just wouldn't. Frank had trust in the older man, he knew that Gerard cared for him, or else he wouldn't still let Frank sleep in his house.

But what about all the things that had been happening? Gerard used sex as a distraction every time he looked troubled and Frank got too curious, he was acting strong and one second later he would break down. Not to mention, he just came home looking more broken than usual, practically begged Frank to fuck him, and when he came, he screamed someone else's name.

What the hell was going on? What did it all mean? What was he hiding and what was he lying about?

Frank felt his fingers pressing harder into Gerard's cheek, and the man stirred a little in his sleep.

The younger slowly pulled his hand away, a cold expression on his face. He needed time to think, he needed to clear his head for a bit.

So he slowly got up from the bed, slipping on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a black hoodie.After putting on his shoes, he grabbed some money Bob gave him for helping out in the store so often and headed out, shutting the door softly behind him to not wake Gerard.

He began walking. Not really paying attention to where he was going. He just wanted to feel the cool air covering his skin as gentle blows of wind hit his blank face.

It felt odd. Those questions he had about Gerard and the doubts he was beginning to develop wouldn't leave his mind. He wanted to just forget them. That's all.

xoxoxoxo

After about twenty minutes of walking and thinking, he arrived at a small convenience store, and decided to step in, letting the small glow of light burn above him as the doorbell rang and broke the silence of the store.

He greeted the tired employee that stood behind the counter reading a newspaper. The man gave him an exhausted smile, and Frank began walking along the aisles, shivering at the memory of the last time he did it at the grocery store, when he was attacked and left in the snow for hours until Livvie found him.

He pushed the thoughts of Michael aside and just let himself wander through the shelves inside the small store.

He spotted a young woman next to the tea section, looking between two kinds of tea, obviously having a hard time choosing.

"You should take the green tea," Frank said softly as he stood next to her an examined the shelf in front of him.

The blonde woman with glowing green eyes and white beanie looked over at him, and then back at the packages she was holding, then nodded and put the other package back on the shelf.

"Thanks," she said with a weak smile. Frank looked in her eyes, and saw something there, something hurt, something sad. He noticed the slight dark bags under her eyes, the way her voice cracked as she spoke, the way her face were flustered a bit.

She had obviously cried earlier. A lot. It made him sad to think that someone was also going through a hard time.

"Hey, are... are you okay?" He asked carefully.

Her smile faded even further, and after a long while she shook her head slowly.

"No... I'm not," she replied. "But it's fine. Just some troubles with the girlfriend..."

Frank nodded in understanding. She didn't seem gay, but he would be the last person to judge her. Also he didn't care what her sexuality was. She was upset, and he wanted to make her feel better, although he didn't even know her.

He never saw her or met her before, but yet, there was something familiar about her voice. He couldn't quite place it, but he recognized it.

"Is that why you're here right now?" He asked regardless. She sighed quietly and nodded. Frank pursed his lips slightly before speaking again. "Well... I can relate, I guess. I've been having a little trouble with my boyfriend lately, too."

The girl nodded in understanding, glancing down at the green tea she was holding and then back at Frank.

"Hey, do you... do you wanna talk about it maybe?" She asked. Frank nodded, and the two began walking slowly out of the store, the girl paying for the tea first, and Frank deciding he would give it up for now and buy some next time.

They walked out into the cool air, sitting down on a nearby bench and breathing in the cold atmosphere as the girl placed the tea down beside her.

At first it was silent, both of them trying to find what to say, anything really. Just to start up on a conversation.

"Did you and your boyfriend have a fight?" She spoke up first.

They looked at each other and Frank shook his head. "No, it's not that..." he sighed, "It's just that he's been acting so weird lately. I don't really know how to explain it."

"What does he do that makes you think that?"

"Well, he's uh... he's been keeping secrets from me. Lots of them, I guess. He wouldn't answer my questions properly and would always pretend to be okay, when I can obviously see it's not. He goes out at nights without saying a word and comes back looking like hell, thinking I didn't notice."

"How often does he do it?"

"All the time. When we first met, a few months ago, he had some trouble, family and stuff. But he was generally fine and laughed a lot, and talked to me. Now he's just... I don't know, colder."

The girl nodded. "Does he smoke?"

"No."

He didn't know what this had to do with anything, but he guessed the girl asked it for a reason.

She spoke up again before he managed to ask.

"Do you know who the people he hangs out with are?"

He shrugged. "Yes, I think so. They're brother and sister, and they're really nice. I don't think that they have been causing the problem."

"What kind of family does he have?"

"Well... he has no parents. A brother, yeah, but they don't exactly get along."

He knew that was one hell of an understatement, but starting on about how much of a problem Michael really was would be considered giving away too much information, and he'd already given out more than he should have.

The girl nodded again, seeming to be deep in thoughts.

"Any other people you know who have anything to do with him?"

"Um..." Frank was wondering if he should tell her about the stranger man. "I think... that... maybe... there is this other guy."

The young woman's eyes sparkled with curiosity.

"My boyfriend wouldn't talk about him, but we've had some incidents with that man. I mean, I don't even know his name, but my boyfriend once beat him up, and that guy raped him, and they kissed once, and..."

"What? Did all of that happen while you were together?"

Frank nodded slowly.

"The beating part was right before we became a couple. Until then we just got along really well. We were friends."

The girl was thinking again. "That's good... but, about that other guy... did you say he raped your boyfriend?"

Frank looked down and nodded again.

"Yeah, I went back home with one of his friends." He saved the details about what happened before they went home, "and found my boyfriend getting fucked by that person. Our friend separated them, so that really saved him. But for some reason he wasn't that traumatized. It's pretty confusing, now that I think of that."

"It is," the woman said quietly, "Rape is a very serious issue. If your boyfriend still talks to that man then there must be something big between them."

"There probably is..." Frank whispered. "I tried to ignore all those weird things, for so many times, and he kept doing it. I wanted to ask him so bad, just make sure if he was okay, but every time, he wouldn't let anything show. At least... until tonight, because... something happened."

His eyes fell to the floor.

"What was it?" The girl asked.

"Well, we... he... ugh," he sighed, forcing himself to tell her. "When he came home last night, he seemed more troubled then usual, he seemed all flustered and sweaty and teary, like he got involved in something horrible. I tried asking him about it, but for some reason we ended up in bed, we were doing stuff, and..."

Frank blushed heavily, feeling his heart sink along with the burning memory of that moment.

"Dude?" The girl's soft voice came, and he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her with pitiful eyes. "What happened?"

"He... oh god, he... my boyfriend... he said someone's else's name while we were together," he choked out, now feeling himself starting to crack.

Her's eyes widened momentarily, and she blinked rapidly before opening her mouth.

"Oh. Um... was it someone you know?"

"No, it wasn't... I didn't recognize the name. But it was a boy's name."

"Maybe it was the other guy... the one Your boyfriend doesn't talk about."

Frank nodded in agreement.

"Maybe... but I'm just... I'm so confused when I'm around him," he said shakily, his eyes beginning to water as his guts flipped, "I never know if he's okay, or hurt, or troubled... I even noticed bruises that formed on his skin when he was shirtless. I don't know who's hurting him, I don't know if he's seeing other people, I don't know if he's cheating or... goddammit!"

The girl quickly pulled the broken man into her arms, hugging him tightly. She knew it would help, even if they only just met, and he half-heartedly recognized her by her voice.

Frank didn't hesitate before he was hugging her back, accepting the caring gesture. He needed someone to hold him right now, someone besides Gerard. He needed someone that would understand him, just for now, as he sobbed into her shoulder.

"Hey, it'll be okay," she whispered, as the two kept hugging on the small bench. "Everything would clear out at some point, believe me."

"Thank you," he gasped breathlessly, squeezing her body. "And I'm sure things will work out between you and your girlfriend. I'm sorry I had you sitting here comforting me while you had your own trouble."

"That's okay. That talk helped me, actually. Now I now someone out there is as fucked up as me."

Frank found himself chuckling a bit, finally starting to relax himself, and the two slowly pulled away.

"Hey, um... what's your name?" He asked her.

"Kelly," she replied simply, holding out a hand to him.

His eyes widened. Now everything was making sense.

"Kelly... Kelly Spring?"

She nodded, giving a small smile. "Yeah. You probably know me from the radio."

"Yeah, I do," he smiled back, shaking her hand weakly. "My boyfriend and I love your station."
"Thanks," she replied. "What's yours?"

"Frank."

She nodded, and the two fell silent again, but it was a better kind of silence now, the one that simply allowed them to think a little more.

"Hey, I think... I think maybe I should be getting home now," Frank said after a few minutes. "I don't want him to wake up and find out I was missing. He did this to me enough times."

"You probably should," Kelly said gently, "And I don't think he's cheating. I don't know your boyfriend too well, but I'm sure he's a great guy if you chose to be with him. You two are going to be fine."

Frank gave her a small smile, about to stand up and head home, when she said his name.

"Oh, and Frank?"

He turned to look in her eyes again, seeing her give him a small smile, then pull a small piece of paper and a pen out of her pocket, and quickly wrote down something before handing the paper to Frank.

"Here's my phone number, if you ever need to talk, or a place to crash, or anything. Just call me and I'll help."

The man smiled brightly at her, nodding gratefully and hugging her goodbye before standing up and walking towards the apartment.

Once he was enough far away from her though, his expression darkened again, getting filled up with sadness and slight anger. As much as the conversation with Kelly helped, he was still feeling horrible about all the things that had been going on.

What was he supposed to do now? Gerard wouldn't answer his questions, Frank just knew it. He would keep denying things and say everything was okay, and the last thing the younger wanted was for them to fight again. He didn't like to see Gerard suffer.

He took a shaky breath, both from cold and fear, as he got closer and closer to their apartment.

Should he even talk to Gerard? About anything? About why he looked so bruised, or if Michael bothered him behind Frank's back? About that guy, that might have been the same one whose name left Gerard's throat as he reached his orgasm?

The young man didn't know what to do. The elder was driving him insane. All the secrets he didn't even know about just seemed like too much for him right now.

And he didn't CHOOSE to be with Gerard like Kelly thought, he moved in because he was in danger, according to the older man's words.

And he probably was. But was it really worth the risk when there has been so much confusion and pressure around him? Could he really stay there and watch his boyfriend fall apart without understanding a single thing?

He sighed, right before he opened and shut the door quietly, walking along the corridor into their bedroom.

In the dimmed light of the moon coming through the small window, Frank saw him, still on his side, his naked body covered in the tangle of sheets, the mop of black hair sprawled around on the pillow, surrounding his pale face, and his hazel eyes were open slightly, staring at Frank. He obviously had just woken up.

"Where were you?" He croaked out, his voice weak and tired.

Frank only stared at him. There were so many thoughts running around in his head, so many questions, words, things he wanted to say, thoughts he wanted to scream out.

He was a wreck, and he needed something to get his mind off of these things.

He considered a few options, and eventually decided to go for the one that would probably calm him the most, although he really wasn't sure if it would help...

Screw it. Screw everything. He wanted an escape.

Slowly, he walked over to the bed, standing in front of Gerard's lying figure. The older didn't ask questions as Frank pulled the blanket off of him and crawled over to him, their eyes not leaving the other's, and the younger man's gaze suddenly seemed scarily dangerous, somewhat predatory.

He stripped himself swiftly, none of them saying a word, and then picked Gerard's legs to wrap them around his waist as he kneeled above the man.

Gerard closed his eyes, letting the other hold his hips up as he pushed into him. The elder moaned quietly, and Frank groaned as he pulled out and did it again.

Soon he found a rhythm. It wasn't rough or fast, not at all, just steadily rocking into Gerard, as the elder was like dead weight underneath him, not showing any signs of resistance.

After a few minutes, Frank leaned down to attach his lips to the other's exposed neck, sucking and hearing the sounds that left Gerard's throat.

The older's fingers were digging into the sheets, as his prostate was found, but his moans were quieted, because unlike past experiences, the other person wasn't slamming into him powerfully. It was just a brush of Frank's cock against it, calm and careful.

But it wasn't love making by any means. Frank hadn't intended on going slow because he wanted to treasure every moment of it, he was only doing it because he was tired, and he needed to concentrate on something else. He didn't even moan too loud, just groaned from time to time as the other's hole tightened around his cock.

He rocked slightly harder, gently playing with the pale skin of Gerard's neck between his teeth, and brought one hand to cup the older's jaw while the other one was still holding his hips up.

Gerard moaned. Now he was beginning to feel his orgasm approaching. But it wasn't as intense as he would've expected it to feel. Sure, he was hard, and the movement against his prostate did turn him on along with Frank sucking on different spots across his neck. Yet, this sex was kind of off. It wasn't lust filled, it wasn't for pleasure, it wasn't for showing emotions.

It was for the chance to forget.

Gerard whined, holding the sheets harder, and Frank squeezed his hip in reassurance.

The older's legs tightened around his waist, as he was now so close to his orgasm. He just needed a little more, and...

Frank suddenly thrust harder, his hips practically snapping forward once more, and the shocks that went through Gerard's body pushed him over the edge.

He came untouched, whining in pleasure. Frank straightened up again and kept moving inside him slowly a few more times, before he stilled and came too.

He groaned into the air and leaned his head back, as he filled him up, and pushed in three more times before he pulled out and fell on top of the man, the other's legs going limp on the bed.

They didn't bother moving. It was past 4am. and they were exhausted, so Gerard simply reached for the blanket and covered their naked bodies, letting the sleepy Frank stay between his legs, and he ran his hands through his boyfriend's hair once before kissing the top of his head and falling asleep underneath him.

As Frank was dozing off peacefully, listening to the slowing beating of Gerard's heart as his sweaty pale chest rose and fell steadily, every inch of their bodies pressed together, he couldn't help but feel a bit more relieved. The sex did help him, not fully, for he was still troubled, but it tired him out and now he was finally able to sleep, after two orgasms, a talk, a few heavy tears, fucking, and a new friend.

This was definitely the longest night in his life, but it's over now.

Notes

Thanks for reading xoxo