The world is ugly

Jadie*)

At those words, I broke... Everything around me stopped. I sat staring blankly at my brother, a look of disbelief on my face. I felt a hand touch my arm but I shook it off right away "I'm.... Just.... I'm gonna go to bed...." My voice was quiet as I pushed myself up from the couch, Only to collapse back down onto it seconds later in a fit of tears. I heard quick feet and then I was pulled into someone, Frank, Who held onto me for dear life neither of us thinking how awkward not to mention sympathetic Gerard probably felt right now. I just knew I needed my brother right now.

"P-p-le-ease t-ee-ell me you-u're ly-y-ying." I sobbed out. This caused Frank to hold me tighter "I'm so sorry Jai" I fisted his shirt into my hands and held on for dear life not ever wanting to let go, what if he was next?

But we pulled away, much to my dismay, and I curled myself into a ball on the pullout couch. Wrapping my arms around myself.

"I'm going to go get some blankets and Pillows. Keep her here don't let her leave" I heard my brother whisper to Gerard, who replied with "Okay, She's safe with me"

I heard feet walk away and then there was a hand on my back "Jadie, Love, look at me" His voice was soft. My whole body trembled as I sat up and looked at him, The moment I made eye contact I broke again, Everything in me screamed at me to just run, Leave, Anywhere but here. But Gerard's firm grip on my hand prevented me from fleeing.

"It's not fair" I whispered brokenly, with that he pulled me into him "It's okay, You have me, Mikey, Ray, and your brother here, We're not going anywhere" he whispered gently into my ear "But, shit happens. What if you all walk out tomorrow and get shot as well, I'll have no one. I'll I-" He cut me off with a kiss. Soft and gentle, I instantly melted into the kiss, Trying to forget about the events that had happened.

We slowly pulled away and I rested my head on his shoulder "Just get some sleep, yeah?" He whispered, pulling me to lay down. "Okay..." I sighed resting my head on his chest this time. I heard Frank come down a few moments later and a blanket was placed over me.

I passed out for a while, and totally forgot about the previous events, I woke up in the middle of My brother and Gerard's conversation.

When I woke up I smelled cigarette smoke. "And to think that it could have been our school. And Jai could have been the one to get shot" He continued, Choking slightly. I felt Gerard's grip tighten on me "Don't think about that" Gerard said, I felt his chest rumble. "It's hard not to" I heard my brother sniffle "Fuck, She's all I have now" My chest tightened at his words not fully understanding what he meant, still disoriented from sleep. "You have Mikes and me, Ray too," Gerard said sincerely, Frank sighed heavily "yeah... Fuck my how am I supposed to protect her if our dad comes looking for us?" I tried not to, but I tensed at his words, Gerard wrapped his arm tighter around me protectively. "We'll all pitch in and help. I swear on my life, She will stay safe." Frank sighed again. The place was definitely starting to smell like smoke now. And in my half asleep state, I wasn't thinking clearly "Mom's gonna have your ass for smoking in the house Frankie" I mumbled into Gerard's side. Who, For the fifth time, Tensed and I heard my brother sob a little... Sitting up I rubbed my eyes, For a moment confused. Until I realized what I had said.

"Fuck...." Was all I could get out.... I shoved my head into my knees and proceeded to cry. Not letting either of them touch me. Eventually, we all fell asleep. It wasnt restful. I barly slept. But It was sleep.

Notes

S H I T T Y
Better one will be up on saterday.