The world is ugly

Jadie*)

I looked around my small back yard. Again. This time I was sitting with My mom before she left for work.

"Beautiful isn't it" She sighed happily, Looking out at the arrays of pinks and yellows. "Sun rises usually are" I agreed "But my favorite is sun sets. Because everything, you know, is going to get peaceful. Quiet. For at least a little while" I looked over at her, She had a smile on her face. These are the moments I lived for. Quiet mornings, with coffee. Family time. We don't have near enough family time "Hey momma?" My voice broke the silence "Yes, Sweetheart" Her smile always made me feel everything would be okay "Do you... Do you think you Frank and I could have a family day soon? Like nothing expensive. Just pizza and a movie" she nodded "Yeah. Yeah, we could do that. How bout tonight after I get home from work" the sun shone on her face causing her to squint at me "That sounds perfect"

She left a little while later, But I had that heavy feeling that something was about to go wrong... Pushing it off I ran up the stairs to get dressed.

"Gerard!" I shouted, finding he was still sleeping "Hmm" He pushed himself more into my pillows "It's time to get up!" I ripped the blankets off him "Aye" He frowned sitting up "School!" I laughed "But can't we just stay home todayyy" He wined, I shook my head "No, I want you dressed and downstairs when I get out, Get my brother up while you're at it to please" "Okay, Mooooom" I chuckled as I walked into my bathroom.

Doing my hair and makeup, I still couldn't shake the feeling that something terrible was going to happen. I didn't know what it was, but it was making me feel sick.

I made my way downstairs to see Gerard and my brother sipping on coffee "Mom leave early?" Frank asked, "Yeah.." My eyebrows furrowed "Youuu okay?" He asked again "Yeah, I just.... I have this weird feeling. I don't like it" He cocked his brow "Like what?" I shrugged "Something bad feels like its going to happen..." he laughed "It's going to be fine. Just nerves is all." I nodded knowing he's probably right.

"What did you mean by, 'something bad is going to happen'" Gerard questioned once we got into his car. Frank was going in late today so Gerard offered me a ride. I shrugged "Not sure. It only happened after Mom left for work" He nodded, still looking confused "Well, try to ignore it, And if you need to talk just text me. I'll leave class for you" He smiled "Thank you"

That feeling didn't leave me all day. It was there, eating at my mind.

That feeling became a reality by the time art came around.

"Still feeling like that?" Gerard asked as I sat down at my desk, I shrugged "A little... It's just-" I was cut off by the announcement "Okay, We have a situation just up the road at *Frick make up a business* So until further notice, no one leaves the school" the speaker cut off and the class was sent into a frenzy.

Gerard looked over to me, I hadn't even realized it but I'd been crying "Hey, Jadie. It's gonna be okay" I shook my head. I couldn't find the words. Panic surged through me again when the announcements came back "Gunshots have been fired. Close and lock all doors and windows." I felt sick and I sunk down off my chair. Not caring that people were looking. Gerard was in front of me in an instant "Hey, Jadie Listen this happens all the time they never come here" I shook my head and muttered the only thing I could at this point "F-Frank..." I sobbed. He nodded "Miss I know were not allowed to leave but I need to get her brother!" the teacher sighed "We don't need more than one student out at a time. I can page him down if you'd like though" I nodded quickly at her offer. she nodded and walked over to the PA system "Could you send Frank Iero to 240 please, It's important" 'Yes right away'

Moments later my brother was running through the door, he locked eyes with me and ran over right away. Pushing Gerard aside as he did so.

"Jadie, I know. She'll be fine" He obviously knew what I was freaking out about "B-But moms there. She's in that building! what if she gets hurt..." I sobbed. He pulled me into his chest "See this is what I meant... Frank this was a bad feeling... I should have stopped her. Faked sick or something!" I was starting to freak out. There was another gunshot. Closer this time... Frank pulled me closer to him as the whole class started screaming. All hiding under desks.

It wasn't for another forty-five minutes that there were sirens heard. After that another twenty-five. Then we were free to go home...

But I didn't want to go home.

"Jadie, Where the fuck are you going?" I heard Frank shout as I walked in the opposite direction of Gerard's car. "I need to see if Moms okay!" I spun around, tears in my eyes. He shook his head vigorously "She's probably fine. I've been keeping up. No bodies reported yet. Let's just go home and wait it out" He held his hand out for me to take. Cautiously I took it and he leads me to where Gerard was patiently waiting with Mikey and Ray... I haven't really spoken with Ray but from what I've learned he's a very nice guy.

We went back to Gerard and Mikey's house this time. His mom had the news on in the background "Oh thank god you're all okay!" Their mother sounded relieved "Yeah, were all okay." Mikey smiled as he focused on the television. A red bar rolling across the screen.

It was cut off abruptly by a blue screen, then a voice started speaking.

"Breaking news. 50 dead and over 200 injured"
The names popped up on the screen along with their pictures.

I was fine up until my mother's name popped up, Franks breath hitched and he didn't give me enough time to read the category she was under. He pulled my arm and spun me around "Frank let me go!" I tried pushing myself off him "Gerard shut the T.V. off!" Ray yelled "No!" I sobbed.... Finally collapsing into my brother, who was also shaking with tears "Fuck..." I heard Gerard whisper. My head was spinning I had no clue what was going on there was distant whispering but I couldn't make it out.

All I could hear was my brother's and Mikey's whispers telling me things would be okay.

"Okay, get into the car, boys," Gerard and Mikey's mom said softly.

Frank picked me up but I pushed him off "Where are we going" I looked at him seriously "To the hospital to see mom" Relief filled my chest as I made my way to the van. Ray declined the ride home so it was just Me, My brother, Gerard, Mikey and their mom.

The drive was quiet. No one spoke. Not until we got there. "I'll be back around seven, Okay?" Mrs. Way smiled. "Okay. By mom" Mikey smiled. He was the only one smiling...

" Linda Iero! She was brought here from the shooting" My brother spoke quickly. The receptionist frowned which made me sick. Gerard pulled me into him and wrapped me in protective arms "Relation to this person" "Were her kids!" she frowned again "Follow me..." Her voice was low.

Gerard and Mikey waited in the waiting room as Frank and I followed the doctor down the hall.

We followed her down the long hallways. Bright florescent lights flickered in a way that gave me a headache. I never did like hospitals... The antiseptic smell. Beeping. Stark white walls. The lights that were way too bright. I hated them.

We finally arrived at her room. "Now prepare yourself. She's in rough shape.." Frank nodded. But I was too zoned out to respond. My head was in a haze. I only caught bits and pieces of the doctor and Frank's conversation. Words like 'chest' 'critical' 'three days' and 'plug' the door was opened and I was faced with reality.

My mom lay their, tubes and wired poking in and out of her, Gause around her chest. Gause soaked in blood... Her. Blood.

"Fuck..." Frank choked out, moving closer towards her. I was frozen in the doorway. Unable to move. Frank had already pulled up a chair, This can't be happening. He looked behind him towards me and once he saw the look on my face he rushed towards me instantly pulling me into him "It's not fair" I sniffled with a sob "I know... I know." My brother shook with tears of his own.

Things calmed down and we were now sitting by her side. Frank was talking about his day, Abut me, Abut everything... I just sat there trying not to cry. Gerard and Mikey were finally allowed in, but they sat silently as Frank and I were crying, Trying their hardest to comfort us.

And the moment she opened her eyes, Everything was okay... But only for a moment.

"Momma?" I gasped standing up, She smiled weakly "Mom can you talk to us? Fuck, Go get a nurse" Frank called towards the brothers. "I lo-ve y-y-ou both, s-s-s-oo m-uch" She choked out before falling back against her pillow again "M-Mom?" Frank had tears rolling down his cheeks, Then she flat lined "MOMMA!" I screamed attempting to run at her, Realization crossed my brothers face and he grabbed me, Pulling me out of the room "N-NO FRANK LEMME GO" I sobbed pulling against him trying to get out of his thresh hold, The ten minutes that passed were spent with me screaming and trying to fight out of my brother and boyfriends grips.

Another five minutes and I was silently weeping curled up in someone's lap. I'm pretty sure it was Mikey's

"Whos here for... Linda Iero?" I tried to stand up but whoever was holding me wouldn't allow it "I am..." My brother whispered "Gerard. Take her back please." I heard my brother whisper before I was lifted off Mikey's lap.

I was carried back out to Their mom's car and she greeted us "Where to?" "Her house, I'll be staying the night" The engine turned over and we started moving "Wheres Frank at?" She questioned "Talking with a doctor... He's getting a cab though so its okay" I assumed she nodded cause she said nothing else.

Mikey went home with Mrs.Way as Gerard and I walked inside. "Wanna watch a movie?" I nodded and shrugged. He walked over to the pull out couch in the living room and, Well, Pulled it out. I lay down on it and curled into him as he put on deadpool.

Half way through the movie and Frank was finally home it was about nine twenty-seven.

He walked through with a somber look on his face "Frank.. What is it?" I asked, sitting up from Gerards side.


"Its mom... She... She died"

Notes

I wasnt intending to end on a clif hanger, but this web sight is being slow and its pissing me off. Another will be up tomorrow.