I let Mikey kiss my neck, going limp under his lithe body as he purred and rolled his hips. He stopped suddenly. “Frankie?”
I rolled over quickly, scrabbling away from him.
“Fuck, Frankie!”
He gently grabbed my shoulder, pulling me back towards him. “Hey, it's okay. Look at me. It's just me, baby. You're doing it again.”
I started to breathe heavily, struggling against his grip. He sighed and let go of me, watching me run. “Frankie! Baby, it's me, please come back.”
I crawled under the table, hugging my knees.

---

It took Mikey half an hour to coax me out, after which I just laid in his arms and cried for another half hour. When I finally finished sniffing, Mikey stroked my hair and kissed my forehead softly. “Why does this keep happening to us?”
I shivered and curled up, nuzzling his neck. “I've been having nightmares,” I admitted quietly, looking down at my hands as I picked at a hangnail.
“Why didn't you tell me, baby?” Mikey sighed, sounding hurt. “Don't pick that, you'll make it bleed.”
I dropped my hands back into my lap. “I don't know. I'm sorry,” I said emotionlessly, looking away.
“Hey. Don't say it like that, Frankie. You do know, and you can tell me.”
I shivered again. “I don't like you seeing me as weak.”
Mikey chuckled softly, wrapping his arms around me tightly, using one hand to cradle my head. “Frankie baby, you're the strongest person I know. Gerard told me that you used to get out of bed black and blue after Paul went after you and go and pull him out of a psychotic break. You're amazing, and you're stronger than me, and you're stronger than Gerard. I never see you as weak, baby. I only ever see you as someone trying their hardest to handle something no one should ever have to.”
I sniffed again and he rubbed my back slowly.
“Don't start that again, you'll never stop.”
I giggled and kissed his jaw softly. “I'm sorry, Mikey. These memories keep coming back and then I kind of just blank out.”
“I know, it's alright. I'm not angry or upset, I'm just concerned about you. All I want is for you to be okay.”
I smiled slightly, playing with my hair. “You're gonna have to wait a while.”
“Mhm. You need a haircut.”
“I know, I have one scheduled for Friday. Stop nagging me.”
Mikey chuckled and kissed me softly. “Okay. I'm sorry. Should we go back to bed?”
I nodded slightly, slipping off his lap and following him into his bedroom, where he gently pushed me down on the bed and climbed under the covers next to me, kissing my cheek. I snuggled up to him as he opened his arms, then wriggled to get more comfortable as he hugged me tightly. “You give the second best cuddles,” I teased softly, giggling when he looked at me indignantly.
“Okay, so who gives the first best?” Mikey questioned, pretending to be angry.
“Gerard,” I grinned, kissing him gently.
“That actually makes sense. He's shorter and a little stockier than me.”
“Are you calling your brother fat?” I giggled, looking up at Mikey. He rolled his eyes.
“Of course not, you're twisting my words. I wish you'd just go to sleep already.”
I kissed his chest and went quiet, tracing circles on his arm.
“Heard anything from Ian?” Mikey asked after a long pause.
“He says my restraining order and stuff are all watertight. If Paul comes anywhere near me, I can call the police and he’ll go back to prison.”
He smiled, brushing a lock of my hair out of my face. “That's good, baby. I'm gonna keep you safe, anyway. Gerard and I. We’re gonna be your bodyguards.”
I giggled softly, starting to get sleepy. “God help me.”
Mikey kissed me lightly, stroking his fingertips over my cheek. “Get some sleep, little one.”

---

I woke up late in the morning, rolling over and accidentally hitting Mikey with my arm. He grunted and chuckled, his arm slipping around my waist as I nuzzled his cheek. “You pack quite a punch, Frankie.”
I giggled and stifled a yawn. “I’m sorry, Mikey, really.”
He grinned and kissed my cheek softly, shifting to a more comfortable position. “I know, it’s okay. But I think we should talk about Gerard.” I frowned and brushed my fingertips over his cheek. “What about him?”
“You promised to tell me more about everything with him.”
I sat up, running a hand through my hair and leaning back against the headboard. “Mhm. I did, but I don’t really know what you want to know. It would be easier if you asked some questions.”
Mikey sat up next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. “Okay. Has he ever hurt himself worse than just scratches?”
I shook my head, yawning. “No, he sees things crawling up his arms, that’s why he scratches, to get them off, so he doesn’t cut or anything like that.”
Mikey nodded. “That’s good, so he’s not suicidal?”
I coughed, looking away. “Not right now. He used to be, but uh...he’s actually been a lot better since he got his degree in psychiatry, because he knows he can make it stop, y’know? Like with medication.”
“So why won’t he take it?”
I shrugged and ran a hand through my hair. “To be honest, I think he was just scared that he was broken before. He used to yell and swear at me when I suggested he had a condition, and then he started to understand the science behind it, and now he’s fine. I think he’s just comforted by the fact that he can have medication if he wants it, and because he can, he doesn’t feel like he has to, or something. I don’t really get it. He’s a little weird about it.”
Mikey shrugged and leaned against me slightly. “It makes sense, in some ways. It’s a part of who he is, I guess.”
I rolled my eyes and giggled. “I have no idea how his mind works, to be honest. But no, he’s not suicidal, not anymore,” I took a deep breath, looking at the ceiling. “Sometimes when he’s just coming out of it, and he’s starting to calm down, he’ll cry and talk about wanting it to be over, but I don’t think he’d ever act on it.”
“What kind of things does he see?” Mikey asked softly, squeezing my hand gently.
“You’ll have to ask him, he has drawings and stuff of some of the things he’s seen before. Generally, it’s dark figures, lots of bugs, or otherwise some random weird shit, I dunno. Strange creatures, it almost gave me nightmares when he told me about it before. But if you do ask him, bear in mind that he sometimes gets upset talking about it, you have to be a little careful with him.”
I kissed Mikey’s jaw, brushing my hand over his arm lightly. “Mikey?”
He looked down at me, frowning. “Yeah, baby?”
I smiled slightly and leaned my head against his shoulder. “I love you.”
Mikey grinned, kissing the top of my head softly. “I love you too.” I froze up a little, shifting slightly. “Really?”
“Mhm. Of course. You’re so tiny and adorable.”
I blushed and rolled my eyes. “No, really, Mikey.”
He smiled and kissed my forehead lightly. “I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true, sweetie, I promise.”
“Then I love you.”
“And I love you too,” he chuckled, hugging me tightly. I buried my face in his neck, hugging back as tightly as I could.

Notes

Sorry it's short, it's more of a fluff chapter, as there's a lot more drama coming in the next one ;)