18th Floor Balcony (Frerard) (Reupload)

“The park!” he yelled. He congratulated himself and then turned his phone off to conserve the battery. He then picked up speed, hoping there were no cops around towards his destination.

_ _ _

“I don’ want a lot for Chrismasss, there is jus’ one thing I need. I don’ care ‘bout the pressssents, underneath the Christmasss treee…,”

Mikey was pretty drunk now….No, he was smashed. Really smashed. There was only about a fourth of the bottle left. He sat on the edge of the bridge, singing a song that he and his friends used to sing when they got drunk in high school. Mikey used to make Gerard blush when he would whisper in his ear that all Gerard wanted for Christmas was Frank.

“Well, ya finally got ya wish, Gee! Here’s to ya both!” Mikey hollered into the air, finishing his bottle and then dropping it from the ten foot height. He heard it smash, and giggled. “I wonder if I will sound like that…,” he mused as he tipped over slightly to see the ground below him and the frozen water that now had an outlet from the hole the bottle made. He then suddenly cussed under his breath, thinking that he should have written a suicide note or something for Gerard and Frank. He pulls out his phone and tried to see the buttons. He starts to compose a text to them, thankful for auto-correct.

“Dear Gee and Frank,

I am so happy for you both. I wish you all the love and happiness in the coming...however much time you have left. You two deserve each other and to be happy together…”

“Fuck, I wrote happy a lot,” Mikey whispered. He laughed and continued.

“Anyway, don’t cry for me. I’ll be alright, I had a good life, just wish I had someone to share it with like you guys. Take care of yourselves.

Love, Mikey”

Mikey hit send and then started to sing again, drunkenly wandering around in the cold December weather.

_ _ _

Gerard’s phone vibrated in his pocket. It wasn’t very often that he got text messages from anyone, usually just Mikey and Frank. It must be something urgent, he thought. He wanted to make sure Mikey and Frank were both okay.

“Rosalie, could you do me a favor and grab my phone outta my pocket? Someone just texted me,”

“Sure, Gerard,” Rosalie said, walking up to Gerard and picking it up from his pocket and connecting it to Gerard’s computer so he could see the text and reply at his will. He read the text, his eyes widening in horror as his eyes scanned over word after word. He felt his whole body shake and his heart race. Mikey was in danger.

“Oh, no…,”

“Gerard, calm down. What is it?”

“It’s Mikey...he’s gonna kill himself! We gotta stop him!”

“What? Oh no!” Rosalie gasped in shock. “Where’s Frank? You gotta text him!”

“I’m on it,”

Gerard said, frantically texting Frank and telling him to move his ass and find Mikey before it was too late. He didn’t want Mikey to die...not before him…

_ _ _

Frank arrived at the park and saw Mikey’s car. He yelled out a frantic “yes!” as he did. It was the only one there, obviously. It was Christmas eve after all. Frank turned on the phone to try and get a location on him. He saw that he had two new messages, one from Mikey, and the other from Gerard. He opened Gerard’s first as he waited for the phone to locate Mikey again.

“Hurry up, Frank! Mikey’s gonna try to kill himself!!!!!!”

Frank felt his heart stop in it’s tracks. He then switched over to reading Mikey’s text and just about crapped himself.

“Oh, fuck no!” he yelled. The phone blipped, and Frank saw that the phone blipped, showing that Mikey was on the other side of the park, then it died. “The bridge!”

_ _ _

Mikey was crying now. He had emptied his stomach over the edge, and now he was just crying. He leaned over more. It was a long way down, and there was a chance that he may only break his limbs, but it was cold and no one would be in the park on Christmas, so either way he was as good as dead.

“Goodbye, Gee. Bye, Frankie…,” Mikey said, tipping forward and falling over. “Fuck!” he screamed, landing on something...or rather, someone. He felt arms around him and cold water.

“You stupid son of a bitch, why?!” he heard a familiar voice scream at him.

“F-f-f-Frankie?” Mikey stuttered, shivering.

“Yeah, you dumb shit, it’s me. Now we can get the fuck out of this freezing ass water so you can tell me what the fuck you were doing just now!”

“I...I…,” Mikey shakily started, just to faint in Frank’s arms.

“Fuck me,” Frank cursed under his breath, hauling Mikey’s body back to his car.

_ _ _

“I have him, Gee. Sorry my phone died. Heading to the hospital. I’ll call you and explain more when I get there. He’s alive”

“Oh, thank god…,”

Gerard sighed in relief as he read Frank’s text message, with Rosalie beside him wiping at his tears for him with a tissue.

“He’s gonna be okay,”

“That’s good, honey,” Rosalie said, hugging Gerard’s shaking body.

“I was so worried sick...I thought I was gonna lose him!”

“Sometimes the one who is truly the sickest shows it the least,”

“Yeah, that’s definitely Mikey. He’s sick like me...just in a different way,”

“Oh no dear, I believe you both had the same sickness...except my grandson’s cured yours. Mikey still suffers from his,”

“I know. You know something, Ro? When I was first diagnosed with this fucking disease I have, I’ve tried to kill myself...numerous times,”

Gerard said as he felt the sting of tears come back to his eyes, looking down somberly at his twistedly contracted and immobile body.

“Yes, Frank was telling me that it was Mikey that kept you here, that he did everything to show you how much he loved you and needed you,”

“I know. I’m glad I survived. I’m glad he saved me...and I’m happy Frank saved him,”

“Did he really?”

“Of course Mikey did. He stopped me from killing myself so many times that I feel terrible looking back at it all,”

“How long did it take Mikey to convince you to stop? How many times did you try?”

“I’ve done it...so many times I’ve lost track. It had to be a long time before I became too weak to even attempt to kill myself,”

“So do you think Mikey is going to stop at just this one?”

“I...I don’t know, Ro,”

Gerard sniffled, crying and fearing for the well-being of his brother. Rosalie wasn’t trying to be cruel, she was just a tell it like it is woman from way back. They didn’t believe in sugar-coating back in her days of growing up. Better to face things head on, she thought.

“I wish there’s something I can do to make him stop from doing it again. It’s not like I can physically stop him like he was able to do for me,”

“I’m sure you will figure it out. You are a smart boy, Gerard,” Rosalie smiled, putting a loving hand on Gerard’s shoulder. At that moment, his phone rang. He answered it with his device.

“Hello?”

the computer spoke into the phone. He was still trying his damndest to not make it clear that he’s been doing a good deal of crying, holding in his tears and sniffles.

“Hey baby, sorry about before. I have my phone charging now, didn’t mean to scare you earlier. I found Mikey. He tried to jump off the old bridge in the park. I broke his fall. We both have sprained wrists from the impact on the ice, but nothing else other than massive headaches,” Frank sighed.

“Thank god he’s alive, Frankie. Thank you...so much,”

Gerard said before completely losing it, breaking out into loud sobs muffled under his unmovable lips. There was no use holding it all back.

“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay baby,” Frank cooed. “Want me to get you?”

“Please. I need to see Mikey!”

“Calm down, baby. They’re making an exception for you to see him,”

“They are?”

Gerard simmered down, still sniffling a bit.

“Yes, baby. They are. He’s not awake at the moment, though,”

“Please let me see him, Frank. I need to see him,”

“Not unless you calm down,”

“Okay. I’m sorry…,”

Gerard shut his eyes and breathed, trying his damndest to calm down.

“Okay, Frank,”

“Good, Gee. I will be home in a bit to collect you,”

“Okay, see you then,”

Gerard hung up the phone, turning to Rosalie.

“Mikey’s okay. He’s in the hospital and Frank is gonna pick me up to see him,”

“Good. Well then, I will head home when he gets back,”

“Alright. I’m sorry all of this had to happen. It was supposed to be a special day,”

“It’s okay, baby. I’ll see you in a bit. Love you, Gee,”

“Love you too,”

_ _ _

Mikey woke up with a gasp like he was coming up from drowning….Wait...how was he still alive? How was he not frozen to death? He looked up and saw…

“Gee…,” he whispered, seeing his brother in his chair, resting up against the window. There was no one else in the room.

“Mikey,”

Gerard’s computer spoke. He looked anything but pleased, his eyes staring at his brother in bitter disgust, who shrank back into the bed and buried himself under the covers.

“I’m very disappointed in you. How could you, Mikey? You know better than that! I could have lost you! We all could have! I thought you would have known better, considering what you saved me from multiple times!”

“Whatever, Gerard,” Mikey sighed.

“Listen to me, Mikey. Nothing is worth hurting yourself over. Nothing is worth taking your life over. Do you understand?”

Gerard ranted as he shook in his seat, his labored breaths growing heavy.

“Yeah, sure Gee,”

“Please tell me you do, Mikey. I don’t want you to ever do something like that to yourself again. I fucking love you...and I’d do anything in my power to help you. I may not be able to do much, but...I still wanna help. I want my baby brother to be happy before I die,”

“I’m fine, Gee,” Mikey said flatly.

“No you’re not, Mikey. Please, talk to me,”

Gerard begged.

“I...I love you...baby brother,”

“I love you too, Gee. I’m just tired and want to sleep,”

“Okay, Mikey...if that’s what you really want, then so be it. Just remember all that I told you,”

Gerard said before wheeling himself out of Mikey’s hospital room. Mikey sighed as he watched Gerard leave. He felt the tears welling in his eyes slipping out.

“Why couldn’t I have just died?”

_ _ _

Frank sat at the kitchen table with Gerard, smoking a cigarette. He didn’t care right now. Mikey was being a bitch and Frank had had enough.

“I’m sorry, Frankie. I feel like we’re missing something here,”

“Well I’ll be damned it I can figure it out,”

“I think it has something todo with us. He left unannounced when…,”

Gerard paused, thinking long and hard about his words.

“You proposed to me,”

“Maybe he thought it was too much? I mean...I know reality Gee, but I don’t care. I want to spend it with you,”

“I do too, but...I think Mikey needs something more than me. It’s been on my mind a lot, and...I know I’ve said it before…,”

“What do you think he needs?”

“He…,”

Gerard paused again. This was it. He was ready to give it up, for his brother’s sake.

“He needs you, Frank,”

“What he needs is someone to knock some sense into him,” Frank finished his cigarette and went to the kitchen to pour himself some more coffee.

“That’s not what I meant, Frank,”

“Gee, I love you, but you are talking in riddles today,”

“I mean it, Frank. You and Mikey would be better for each other than you and me. I want you two to have each other when I’m gone. I know I don’t have much time left…,”

Gerard stopped, falling into a coughing fit, gagging and gasping for air. He didn’t know if his cold he caught was getting the best of him, or if this meant something more…

“Gerard, what are you talking about? I love you, baby. I love you, not your brother. I mean, he is a good friend and I care about him a lot, but…,”

“Listen to me, Frank!”

the computer’s voice exclaimed, Gerard’s body shaking with frustration.

“He needs you much more than me. I want him to be happy before I pass on,”

“Gee, I am not gonna suddenly stop being friends with him after you go,”

“No. He needs you more than that. You two need to be together...like how we are. Please, Frank…,”

“Gerard,” Frank gasped in shock. “Are you telling me you don’t wanna marry me?”

Franks’ words hit Gerard like a freight train. He loved Frank, but...he had to tell him. He loved Frank to death...but he also loved Mikey. He didn’t wanna lose him.

“What I’m saying is...I love you, Frank. I really do, but...Mikey deserves this more than I do. He’s got his whole life ahead of him. I don’t. I want him to be happy, and I wanna die knowing he’ll stay that way when he finds his love...and he loves you, Frank. I can see it in his eyes,”

“He...he loves me?”

“Yes, he does. How can you not see it? When you two are together, it’s like his whole world lights up. I’ve never seen him so happy around anyone, and that’s saying a lot,”

“I mean...I know he is happy when we hang out and…,”

Frank starts to jog his memory. All the times he hung out with Gerard. Then he remembered when he had his panic attack several weeks ago.

“Come on, Frankie, you need to hydrate now,” Mikey pulled out the Gatorade and opened it, placing a straw inside. He placed it between Frank’s lips. “Drink a little, please?”

Frank managed to take a few sips that satisfied him. Mikey then closed the bottle again and placed in on the nightstand. He then climbed onto the bed and laid on the other side of Frank, pulling up the covers up over him. Frank shivered and whimpered a bit.

“Shh, I got you, Frankie. You’re safe and loved,” Mikey carded his fingers through Frank’s hair til he settled down again.

“I’m sorry, Mikey...I didn’t know how that all happened. I didn’t...I just…,” Frank sighed deeply. “I feel pathetic,”

“You are anything but pathetic. You are amazing and you have been so good to me and my brother for the last six months...I don’t know what I...no, we would do without you,”

Frank smiled, knowing he’s held in a special place in both Mikey and Gerard’s hearts.

Speaking of Gerard…

“How’s Gerard? Is he okay? He’s not mad at me, is he?”

“I don’t know what his problem is, but right now I am not concerned about him. You are all I am worried about,” Mikey turned Frank’s face gently towards him. “You need to take better care of yourself Frankie, for me please?” Mikey meant to say we, but he ended up speaking from his heart instead.

“I’ll try, Mikey. I’ll try,”

“Thanks, Frankie,” Mikey smiled and caressed Frank’s face.

“You’re welcome, Mikes. I think I feel better now,”

“Good,” Mikey smiled brightly.

“I need to talk to Gerard. I wanna make sure he’s okay,” Frank stood up, making his way to Gerard’s bedroom. “I’ll be back in a bit,”

“Fuck...it was right there, I mean his confession, it was right there and I completely blew him off,” Frank said shakily as he collapsed in the chair he was next to. “What have I done, Gee?”

“Now do you see, Frank?”

Gerard frowned, wishing he could hold the fragile Frankie in his arms, just like he used to in his better and healthier days.

“I...I need to get out of here,” Frank grabbed his coat and quickly left the apartment.

“Frank, where are you going?”

Gerard called out, only to be answered by a door slamming shut in front of him.

_ _ _

Mikey had a headache. He went to grab for his water supply, but found it empty. He heard a door close and hoped that Frank went out and Gerard was in his room. He crept out of the bedroom and down the hall to the kitchen. He could be in and out quickly and then when everyone was asleep, he could get some more water at the store.

“Mikey…,”

the male voice of Gerard’s computer called out.

“Shit,” Mikey uttered under his breath. “Uh, hey Gee. Just grabbed some water,” He quickly slipped into the kitchen and went to the fridge. There was no water there.

“Frank left. He never said where he was going. I’m scared for him,”

Gerard said, wheeling up to Mikey in the kitchen.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Mikey replied he smelled the coffee, and it had been a while since he had any. He poured himself a cup instead.

“No, Mikey. I don’t think so. I...I told him everything. I told him that...you two should be together, and he left abruptly,”

“What?!” Mikey yelled, nearly spitting out his coffee. “Gerard, why would you say something stupid like that?”

“Because it’s true! I see it in the two of you. You need Frank far more than me. You have a chance at life, and I don’t want you to throw it away. You. Need. Frank,”

“Yeah, well he doesn’t need me! He made that very clear!” Mikey moved to leave the room and head back to his bedroom. “Maybe I do…,”

Gerard sighed deeply. He would go out to run and find Frank, if his body had the power. He wanted to make sure he was okay.

“Nobody listens to me. You better be okay, Frank...or I’ll die an unhappy man,”

Gerard spoke to himself. When Mikey got to his room, he looked up and saw Frank in the doorway. He quickly tried to leave the area, but Frank was faster. He grabbed his wrist.

“Please let go of me!”

“No, Mikey. Not til you hear me out,”

“What? What do you want?” Mikey asked impatiently. Frank looked at Gerard in the doorway behind Mikey and saw him give a small smile with his eyes.

“Mikey, I am a fool. While I love Gerard with all my heart, it made me blind to see what was in front of me. I never saw you or your feelings for what they were, and for that I am truly sorry,”

Blown away by Frank’s words, Mikey kept his face down so no one would see his tears. Gerard smiled even bigger through his eyes. Someone was finally listening to him.

“Oh, Frank…,” Mikey sniffled. He quickly took Frank into a hug, losing it and sobbing on his chest. Frank knew he had to be careful. He touched Mikey’s face lightly, lifting it.

“I see you now. I see you for who you are and how you feel. Gerard is the one that helped me open my eyes,”

Frank looked at Gerard for support. He smiled back and winked. Frank felt a little more confidence. He still didn’t try to touch Mikey too much. He knew one wrong move would cause everything to collapse.

“Mikey, I am not going to tell you that I love you, cause that would be wrong, but I care about you very much and perhaps...perhaps in time, my feelings could grow,” Frank said, making eye contact with Mikey.

“Are you just saying that?” Mikey asked, his face raw with tears.

“No, Mikey. I would never just say that,” Frank smiled. Mikey looked back at Gerard.

“Gee…,”

“Go ahead. Yuck it up. I’ll be in my room,”

Gerard said as he wheeled himself away from the two lovebirds and to his room. Mikey was confused, but Frank just laughed. He grabbed Gerard’s wheelchair by the handlebars behind him.

“Oh no you don’t, mister. You are not getting out of it this easily. We are going to sit down and have a long talk as a family. None of this is cut and dry as it is important to me that no one else gets hurt anymore,”

“Oh, alright,”

Gerard rolled his eyes, unable to get away despite the moving power in his chair. Frank led both the way brothers to the living room where they could be more comfortable. He sat between the two and then made a silent prayer that everything would be alright between them.

Notes