The Collector

Trigger warning - discussion of attempted sexual assault
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Jet yawned; he desperately wanted, no needed, some sleep. A really good night’s sleep would be ideal but never really possible. They were wanted men and as much as Kami had argued that they were safe there, they still felt it necessary to keep watch - insisting that they wouldn't bring trouble to Kami’s door. This would be Red’s first time at keeping watch. None of them would insist that she took a turn, after all she wasn’t wanted by BLI, but each of them knew that she would insist. She was one of them; she would take the highs, the lows and everything in between. Jet gave it some thought and discussed it discreetly with Ghoul and Kobra, all agreeing that as a newbie, she should take an easier watch. The first watch was probably the easiest; it would offer unbroken sleep afterward. Similarly, last watch was another preferred and coveted option. They had agreed between them that Red would take one or the other but leave the choice to her. Red had gone with Kami to look at her new collection and the pair were now walking back to the living quarters. There was something about Kami that made it easy for people to talk to her. The pair were laughing and talking as if they had known each other for years and it warmed Jet’s heart to see it. Red Star was truly a Killjoy; he just hoped she’d never end up on a wanted or extermination poster.

As Red walked in, she noticed immediately that the guys had made themselves useful, collecting bolts of soft material and cushions from the storeroom. Some of the furniture had been pushed back and four makeshift but comfortable looking beds had been set up in the middle of the floor. She couldn’t help but notice that Ghoul had already settled himself on one of them, and was already starting to breathe slowly and deeply and was gently dozing. Jet pressed a finger to his lips to indicate that Red and Kami should lower their voices to let him sleep. Ghoul was taking second watch - it was a toss up as to which was worse, second or third. It came down to personal preference, but neither was popular by any stretch.

“Hey, sis,” Jet began quietly. “We’re sorting out the watch rota and we’re wondering which you want, first or last watch? Ghoul’s taking second, Kobra’s got third.”

Red looked between Jet and Kobra and shrugged; it didn’t matter to her, but she could see the creasing on Jet’s forehead - he was having enough difficulty keeping his eyes open merely to ask the question.

“I’ll take first, shall I?” She replied with a smile as she noticed Jet’s palpable relief at the chance of some sleep. “What’s the protocol? Will Ghoul relieve me when it’s time or do I wake him?”
“You’ll probably need to wake him when it’s time. Let’s see,” Jet consulted his watch. “Do two hours, then change over.”
“Just two?” Red asked, surprised.
“There’re four of us. Two should be plenty. We’ll all get at least 6 hours.”
“Okay,” Red smiled.
“Well, on that note, I'm going to say goodnight, my darlings. I’ll make you some breakfast in the morning,” Kami announced.
“You don’t have to do that, Kami,” Kobra turned to hug her, almost laughing as he felt her hand twirling his hair. “You’ve done so much for us already.”
“Like you do for me, for all of us here in the Zones.” She pulled back to look at all of them. “I will do everything I can to make sure you’re as fit as you can be to rescue Party. It’s not much, but let me do it.”
“Thanks, Kami, you're amazing, you know?” Kobra replied, giving her a light kiss on the cheek.
“Well, I have to get up anyway to make sure Ghoul washes his hair,” she laughed quietly to herself. “Goodnight, my lovelies.”

Each of them said their goodnights as Kami headed off, Kobra saying an additional goodnight as he headed to his makeshift bed.

“So,” Jet began as he and Red walked toward the rear door, “I’ve found a good place to watch from and Kami’s given us a blanket to use to keep warm. Are you sure you’re okay to do this?”
“I’m okay, Jet,” she replied. “Of all of us, you’ve had the least sleep. I’ll be fine.”

Jet kissed the top of her head.

“I know,” he smiled. “Right, if you see anything a bit suspicious and you're concerned you wake up Ghoul as second watch. If you see anything dangerous, you wake us all.”
“I can do that.”
“Well, we’re not expecting anything, so it’s more likely to be pretty boring. Just keep to the shadows and try not to be seen.”
“You go get some sleep, Jet, I’ll be fine.”

Jet placed another gentle kiss, this time on her forehead.

“I know,” he smiled. “See you in the morning.”

Red pulled the blanket around her as she settled down, ready to help keep them all safe for the next two hours.

As Jet returned to the living quarters, even with the lights dimmed, he could see another shape in the room lying next to Ghoul. Drawing his gun, he edged over toward the sleeping Killjoy, frowning as he saw the figure with an arm draped over Ghoul had red hair and was wearing a blue jacket.

“Party?” He whispered, in disbelief; certain that it couldn’t be him.

The figure turned to look at Jet and he was astonished to see who it was wearing a similar jacket and a red wig.

“Kami?” He gestured his confusion as he returned the gun to its holster.
“I came down for some water and he was having a bad dream,” she whispered. “Look how peaceful he is now,” she smiled.
Jet smiled in return; Kami was certainly eccentric but she had a heart of gold.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” Jet chuckled lightly.
“Ah, but look at his little face,” Kami enthused. “It suits a smile, don’t you think?”
“Yes,” Jet nodded. “And you can always put it there.”

Kami smiled back before returning to snuggle up to Ghoul, stroking his hair lightly and eliciting a happy sigh while he slept.

Jet headed for his bed, certain that he would be asleep even before his head reached the cushion.

*

It was already an hour into her watch and Red was grateful for the opportunity to go first. Her eyes were struggling to stay open, but she was not about to let them down and fall asleep. If anything, it was Ghoul she felt sorry for. Having two hours’ sleep, then waking then sleeping again had to take its toll on the body. With Kobra taking third watch, she now realised that they had done that to make it easy for her. She was glad that Jet was going to get some unbroken sleep though. She had no idea how long he had remained awake, but it was at least two days straight and somehow six hours didn’t seem near enough. But Party’s life was at stake and they didn’t dare risk taking any longer.

In an attempt to stay awake, Red pushed herself to her feet, pulling the blanket with her; it was a bitterly cold night for Zone 1. As she stood, she heard a shuffling noise coming from inside the building and she checked her watch again; she was definitely not due to be relieved. Opening the door quietly, she pulled back in shock as a figure loomed over her. About to scream for help, she clamped her hand over her mouth as Kobra stepped from the shadows.

“You scared the living daylights out of me!” She hissed quietly.
“Sorry,” he chuckled, not looking the remotest bit sorry.
“It’s not your watch,” Red tipped her head. “Why are you up?”

Kobra stepped out into the cool night air, taking in a lungful and noting the ice that hung in the air, chilling him and waking him further.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he shrugged.
“Worried about Party?” Red asked, placing a comforting hand on his arm.

He was about to nod. It would have been much easier to take the easy option and claim concern for his brother. It wasn't that he wasn’t concerned, it was just that there was another reason.

“Nightmare,” he admitted, shaking his head as if embarrassed to admit it.
“About your dad?” Red asked gently, draping part of the blanket across his shoulders before slipping her arm around his waist and pulling him closer.
“Yeah,” he replied simply. “I can’t believe Party’s been dealing with this for so many years. I can't even handle it for one night.”

Red shook her head and sighed.

“What?” Kobra frowned. “I’m disappointed in me enough without you joining in.”
“I’m not disappointed in you,” Red stared off to the horizon. “Well, not for being upset by your nightmare anyway.”
“Why are you then?” Kobra sounded hurt.
“Because you’re berating yourself over something that you shouldn't.”
“Why?” He grumbled. “What did I say that was wrong? Party has been dealing with it for years. This is my first nightmare and I'm out here trying to get as far away from it as possible. Where in that is something I should be proud of?”
“I’m not saying it's been easy for Party, but he grew up with the knowledge and chose to protect you from it. You on the other hand remembered it all at once when a memory was triggered for you. You had no time to prepare, no time to process and your brain is dealing with it as best it can. Yes, you had a nightmare and it probably won’t be the last, but this is all so new to you and it’s a shock. Also, what you’re missing is that he hasn't been dealing with it alone. You heard Ghoul, they’ve known each other since they were kids in ballet together. They were close friends, very close friends then lovers. He’s never had to deal with it alone.”

Red turned Kobra around so they faced each other. He was staring over her shoulder, trying hard not to make eye contact; perhaps afraid of seeing disappointment in her blue eyes. Red, in contrast, was looking directly into his eyes and kept staring until he lowered his to meet her gaze. Perhaps assisted by gravity, when he looked down, the mist that had glazed over his eyes pooled onto his lower lashes, clinging on like a raindrop to a blade of grass.

“You don’t have to deal with it alone either,” she added softly.

Pulling her close, Kobra rested his chin on her head as she buried her face in his chest.

“Wow!” He chuckled. “You really are tiny.”
“You can’t stay serious for a minute, can you?” Red sighed.
“I can, but don't you think Zone living is serious enough?” Kobra reasoned.

Red pulled back, the blanket falling from Kobra’s shoulder as she did. Wrapping it around herself until only her head and lower half of her legs could be seen, Red shrugged and took a seat once more on the step and pulled her knees up close to her chest.

“Hey!” Kobra raised his eyebrows. “It’s cold out here.”
“I know,” Red smiled. “This blanket’s warm though.”
“Are you inviting me in?” He tipped his head and smirked.
“You should be getting some sleep, shouldn’t you?” Red grinned back.

Kobra lowered his head and sighed, suddenly appearing uncomfortable and somewhat hesitant. The seriousness that Red had noted that he struggled with was back and seemed more than ever to be weighing heavily on his shoulders. Red lost her smile as she stared at his discomfort. She wasn’t certain if it was the nightmare or his concern for Party, but Kobra was struggling to admit that what he really wanted was company. He needed a distraction from the situation that was consuming him, whether he was prepared to admit it or not.
Red unfurled the blanket and nodded to him to join her.

“This is my first watch,” she raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I could do with an old hand to make sure I do it right?”
“Nice try,” Kobra rolled his eyes. “I know when someone's taking pity on me, you know.”
“Get over here before I close the blanket,” Red shook her head. “It’s far too cold to wait for you to decide whether you’re going to take me up on the offer you wanted me to make.”

Kobra folded his arms and looked sternly down before unfolding them quickly and leaping as she began to lower the blanket.

“I’m in!” He laughed as she lifted her arm again.
“Come on,” she nodded, “we could both use the company.”
“Yeah,” Kobra smiled as he snuggled into the warmth of both Red and the blanket. “Speaking of company, Ghoul’s found some, you know.”

Red turned a curious expression toward him, waiting for him to continue, poking him in the ribs when more information was not immediately forthcoming.

“Kami’s dressed up as Party and has snuggled up to Ghoul.”
“Is he asleep? Does he know?”
“Fast asleep,” he laughed lightly. “He’s smiling and sighing and…”

Kobra stopped suddenly short, the final word choked off. Lowering his head, he squeezed his eyes tightly shut in an attempt to keep the stinging behind them forcing out the tears that had gathered. Red pulled him close, running her fingers through his hair and rocking him gently.

“It’s okay, Mikey,” Red said softly. “We’ll get him back. He’ll be okay, he’s strong, you know he is.”
“And I'm not,” he mumbled.
“You are strong, and you didn’t see him when you were missing,” she countered. “I did. He was a mess. That's why we fought. You just show it in different ways, that’s all. He’s a diva, you’re a sweetheart. Besides, I'd be hurt if you didn’t think you could be yourself with me.”

Kobra lifted his head and nodded with a half smile.

“That goes both ways, you know?”
“I know,” she replied, squeezing his hand.
“So, are you going to tell me about those scars?”

Red pursed her lips. She didn’t like thinking about the scars she had. It wasn’t that she was ashamed of them, it wasn’t even that they were visible, it was that she viewed them as badges of failure. Times when she had almost lost a battle, or worse.

“Well, you saw the scars across my collar bone but I don’t know if you saw I have a matching one here,” she indicated to her sternum. “I got into a fight with a couple of dracs. They caught me stealing some food. I was starving, I didn’t even see them.”
“Hunger can blind you sometimes,” Kobra nodded. “They look like knife wounds.”
Red nodded regretfully. “They are, I think they were aiming for my throat. I have some more on my back, just below my shoulder.”
“Knife wounds?”
“No, same fight though. I fell at one point and scraped my back on one of the crates I was taking food from.”
“I take it you won the fight?” Kobra asked gently.
“Just, yeah,” Red sighed. “I was weak. I hadn’t eaten in four days. If it hadn’t been for what you taught me, I would be dead now.”
“Well, I'm very happy that you’re not but,” he pulled his upper lip between his teeth hesitantly, “they weren't the scars I meant.”

Red lowered her eyes and her cheeks flushed pink. Thinking back to when Kobra had joined her earlier when she was trying on clothes, he had stood in front of her while she was wearing only her bra and panties. It hadn’t occurred to her at the time, but yes, now she realised that of course he would have seen the scars on her hip. Older than the ones around her shoulder, they had faded more, but were still visible.

“I’d not long got out of Bat City,” she began, her eyes still lowered. “I was sleeping in a derelict building in Zone 2. I'd learned to keep out of sight as much as possible at night, but I was still quite trusting. There was me, another woman and two guys sheltering from the rain. They had flasks of something revolting but vaguely alcoholic and they offered it to us. We were cold and wet and… like I said, I was trusting. They seemed decent enough, they’d shared some food with us too. Said they were travelling to Zone 3 to find work; they even looked quite clean. I believed them, we both did. Whatever was in the flasks, it wasn’t just alcohol and it was only a few minutes before we both started feeling really strange. It might be that the other guy had stronger stuff or she drank more, but she nearly passed out. He dragged her off to another part of the building and the guy with me told me that if I wanted to stay alive, I should do whatever he wanted.”

Without saying a word, Kobra pulled Red closer so that her head could rest on his chest as she continued.

“He pushed me to the floor and tried to get my clothes off. I guess he wasn’t expecting me to fight back.”
“Did you?” Kobra whispered. “Could you?”
“Yes,” she nodded.

It was only when she moved her head and the cold night air touched his shirt did he realise that it was damp from silent tears.

“Shall we just say that I got a good enough angle to kick him so hard that his balls went back up into his body and the rest of his junk swelled up to three times its size, but not the way he wanted it to.”

Kobra winced, pressing his legs together, not in sympathy for the man, but out of the ability to imagine the immeasurable pain that the kick must have caused.

“He screamed louder than I've ever heard anyone. A real high pitched squeal and he couldn’t get off the floor. He could barely breathe. My head was reeling by this point and I tried to get up but the other guy was suddenly there. He yanked me upright and backhanded me so hard I don’t remember anything else. When I woke up, they were long gone and the other woman was looking after me. They’d had to go get him to a hospital, it was going black apparently.”
“Good!” Kobra snapped angrily. “I hope he lost it.”
“Yeah, well, as a parting gift for ruining his fun, the other guy carved the word ‘slut’ onto my hip. She’d managed to stop it bleeding while I was unconscious but I knew it would scar. At least they didn’t get what they wanted.”
“Zonecreepers,” Kobra spat the word like it left a foul taste in his mouth. “Bastards. You were really brave.”
“My own fault for being so trusting,” Red replied softly.
“No!”

Kobra turned her to face him, lifting her chin with his fingers, frowning unhappily as he saw the salty tracks of her tears on her cheeks and the redness around her eyes from trying to hold them back.

“No,” he repeated firmly, but with a kind, soft tone. “That was not your fault. You can't think like that. They saw two, what they thought were, vulnerable women. They targeted you, drugged you and attacked you. Hell, even if they hadn’t drugged you, they had no right whatsoever to lay a single finger on you. You are not to blame. Only they are to blame.”
“You’re right,” Red nodded. “But…”

Kobra placed his lips gently on her mouth, caressing her hair softly with his right hand and pulling her closer with his left. Moving his head slowly, Kobra placed soft kissed on her cheek and down her neck before cupping her cheek.

“No,” he shook his head. “Trusting someone, even sharing food, does not give anyone the right to assault you.”
“Thing is, by taking at least some of the blame, I managed to convince myself that it couldn’t happen again because I'd be ready. I'd learned from my mistakes. If I accept that I wasn’t to blame, that means I was helpless to it. That I wasn’t in control. That it could happen again.”
“You’ve learned, yes, but from experience. You didn’t make any mistakes and you are definitely not helpless. You proved that.”
“Hmm,” Red shrugged.
“I know I can’t make you believe. You have to do that for yourself. No amount of reasoning is going to make me feel like I didn’t let Party down.”
“You didn’t!” Red’s eyes opened wide at his admission.
“Doesn’t your argument sound familiar?” He moved closer and brushed his lips against hers once more. “But, how about if we both promise to consider the possibility that what we’re saying to each other is true? Just consider it?”

Red gave a weak smile; she could see the logic in his words but her lingering irrational guilt kept her from accepting it. Now she could see he was in the same position. If she expected him to accept her words, didn’t she have to accept his?

“Okay,” she nodded. “Both of us, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Kobra nodded in reply. “Anyway, your watch is over. Go get some sleep, I’ll take second watch and wake Ghoul in a couple of hours.”
“I’ll stay with you,” Red smiled. “It’s nice here under the blanket.”
“I know, but we have to be ready for tomorrow. Go get some sleep. I’ll be in in a couple of hours. Go on,” he indicated to the door with a nod of his head and a smile.
Pressing a light kiss to his lips, Red pushed herself to her feet, wrapping her half of the blanket around him.
“Thanks.”
“For what?” He asked staring up.
“Being you.”
“I’ve had a lot of practice,” he winked, allowing himself a smile as she ran her hand across his back and right shoulder before heading inside.

She was ready to sleep.

Notes

Hey lovelies, I hope you liked this one and it wasn't too sad. If you feel like it, I'd love it if you left a comment :)

Take care
Sas xoxo