From past to present and hopefully future

Gerard's POV:

Alls dark except there is a small white light. I'm dead aren't I? I'm finally dead. No more Frank, no more bullies, no more beatings and no more being raped. I hear voices. Angels? Demons? They sound too familiar though.

"Please wake up Gerard. I need my big brother back. That nice man saved you. His name is Frank. I hope you get to know him and be friends with him. He had a rough past like we did. I hope that you two will become friends." I hear someone sob. It sounds like my little brother. I need to open my eyes and help him.

"Gerard, please be okay." I hear another voice sob from next to me. It sounds like Frank. I really need to wake up now. Mikey might be in trouble! My eyes fly open and I see Mikey and Frank hugging and crying into each others shoulders.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" I growl. Frank already hurt me, he is not going to touch my brother.

"GERARD! You are awake! Thank god! They said you might never wake up. You were out for a month. This is Frank, the man who saved your life." Mikey said. He sounds like he's six but he's three years younger than I am.

"I'd prefer to be dead. Obviously that fucktard would rather see me suffer. I know who Frank is. He's the one that made me drink it in the first place. Don't you remember who you are sitting beside Mikes?" I spit out harshly. He shakes his head. "That's Frank Iero. You remember, the kid that wanted me to kill myself? Well he got to see what he wished for but I'm guessing that he just wants me to do it again and again until I actually can die. So bullshit, he did not save my life, he wants to see me in pain." I continue on. Balling my fists up and clenching my teeth. I look at Frank, my eyes shooting daggers at him. He looks down in what? Shame? Probably just another fucking act.

"Gee, he's changed I promise. He hasn't moved in a whole month. The only times he left this room was to get food and use that bathroom. He has been watching over you Gee. He remembers your fears and has been talking with the doctors about limiting their use of needles with you. He cares for you Gee, he feels bad about what he used to do. He held your hand during every surgery just in case you woke up and started to freak out. He told me that he was a stupid kid and was jealous that you could be openly gay and not have your parents try to break you and kill you at the best of times. He let his anger out on the person he was crushing on. He didn't know better. Can you please try to forgive him Gee?" Mikey asks. Frank looks up and gives me a cautious, shy smile. Tears running down his face. He got Mikey believing in him too. That fuckwad!

"You believe him too? He tried to kill me so many times and now you trust him? Betrayed by my own brother? Fucking great! I bet he was waiting for the right time to pounce so that he could just kill me himself. I don't believe he did any of that." I snarl. Frank curls in a ball and puts his head in his knees he is sobbing and mumbling something.

"Gerard, I'm so sorry. I wish that I had killed myself instead. My parents should have killed me. I don't deserve to be here. I've always loved you Gerard and I always will. I don't care if you try to kill me, I will accept my fate. I was scared and I took it out on the only person I love. I can't watch you die. You deserve to live." He mumbles so silently that Mikey didn't hear, but I did.

"What did you say?" I glare and spit at him. He tightens his ball and crys more. Now the asshole knows what if feels like. "You don't know what it feels like to have someone fucking pick on you, beat on you, spit on you and degrade you so muck that it leads to self harm, depression, suicidal thoughts and even attempt at suicide. Not just one Frank. I have tried fifteen fucking times. Get that through your thick skull Frank. You made me try and kill myself fifteen FUCKING TIMES! I was cutting myself at least ten times a day. You fucking ruined my life Frank, you made it a misery for me to live. So just get the fuck over it Frank. If you actually loved me you wouldn't have hurt me or wanted me dead." I sneer at him. He pulls up his sleeve and shows me his arm. It's full of old scars. One lightly spelled out 'kill me'.

"Each time I verbally abused you I gave myself two. Each time I physically abused you I gave myself four. Each time I saw you try to kill yourself I would give myself fifteen. The scars from the coffee shop are still healing on my other arm. I know what it feels like Gerard. My parents abused me when I told them I was gay, they verbally broke me. It started when I was eight. I was never thought how to deal with anger and fear properly. I let it out on the person I love and respect the most. I tried to kill myself five times. That was the reason why I always wore a long sleeve shirt and I would change in the bathroom. It's not just my arms. It's my legs and stomach too. Every time I hurt you I would try to hurt myself more. I'm so sorry for everything I've ever done. You can kill me if you want. You were the only thing I have ever been living for." He says shyly without moving his head up off of his knees. I sighed.

"Mikey, I suggest you leave for a few minutes. I'm going to talk to Frank and I'm not sure if you are going to like what you hear. I will call you back in when we are done." I said calmly. He nodded and walked out the door. "Let me see them." I demanded. He looked up at me in shock.

"W-why?" He asks. He looks scared.

"Because I want to see what you did to me. I'm still fucking pissed at you but I want to see the pain that we both went through." I say solemnly. He stands up and walks towards me but stops a few feet away as if I was going to kill him. "Come sit and show me. I will show you mine later." He nodded and say beside me and slid off his shirt. There were about as many as mine. A few saying words like 'dead', 'worthless', 'useless' and many more. I scowled. "Don't do that again." I say in a stern tone. He looks at me in shock.

"W-what?" He asks while stumbling over his words.

"I said don't fucking do that again Frank." I state. I know my rights from my wrongs. Helping people is right, even if it's a bad person. He stares at me. This is going to be a long talk.

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