How do I even begin to describe that moment? I could start by saying that I could've stayed like that forever, with my lips molded against his like a puzzle piece, feeling like it was meant to be.
Or I might start with saying that his lips were the softest things I had ever encountered. They felt like pure velvet while they were placed softly against mine, their warmth sending waves of shock and pure bliss throughout my body.
Maybe I should begin with talking about how fucking bezerk my hormones went and how fucking chaotic my thoughts had become. My body felt rushed as if it were on fire, pastel and neon colors exploded behind my eyelids like fireworks when the tip of his index finger traced down my jaw without disconnecting our mouths. The voice in the back of my head sounded like it was screaming at me, but it was the best kind of scream I had ever heard. I didn't want him to stop what he was doing, I didn't ever want to pull away from the embrace of his warm lips. It was torment to know that this kiss was going to end at some point. Frank Iero was tormenting me in the best way possible.
In a complete estimate of time, the kiss only lasted maybe thirty seconds, yet I was still out of breath when he pulled away from me causing a quiet and gentle smack between our lips. I didn't open my eyes immediately, digesting the incredible feeling of his calloused thumb brushing over my bottom lip as his face hovered only centimeters away from mine so the tips of our noses were touching. We didn't speak. There was nothing else for us to do besides connect our lips again, only this time more harsh and needy.
It's embarrassing to say that my hands were shaking as I shifted them up to the back of his neck. It's also embarrassing to say that my lips were trembling when he gently started to move his against mine. I was clumsy with it and I'm sure he found it amusing, I could tell by the way his mouth tightened against mine proving that he was smiling into it. That warmed my heart. I smiled too until we were basically sitting there and just smiling against each other's faces. We lowered our hands to one another's and twined our fingers together. He pulled away from me yet again and let his forehead stay rested upon mine, both of our eyes still closed.
Frank took a deep breath. "Thank you."
I snorted. "For what?"
"For not thinking I'm a disgusting creep."
I rubbed the palm of his hand with my fingers, "It's not like you've done anything completely creepy. You've respected me so far from what I've seen."
"Of course I'm respecting you, ya twerp. I'm not a dick." We both laughed quietly and stared at each other, his smile faded slowly into a look of genuine seriousness. "What are you making of this, Gerard?"
I raised an eyebrow, my smile leaving my face. "I don't know."
"Did that mean anything to you?"
"Yes. It meant the world to me. It was amazing, Frank."
"I can agree with that."
I could sense that he was tense about the situation we had just placed ourselves He leaned his face away from mine and brought his hand up, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. "Don't hide your face. It's beautiful."
My smile returned and I stared down at his other hand that was grasped loosely between both of mine, my fingertips traced over the half heart that was inked on the delicate skin of the crease between his thumb and pointer finger. He pulled his hand away slowly and emerged himself off the piano bench and lowered himself to the floor right next to it. Crossing his legs, he looked up at me. "Sit."
I did the same as him, sitting across from him and crossing my legs so our knees were touching.
He reached out for my hand again, interlocking our fingers between our laps. "What do we do?" I asked sheepishly.
He sighed."Depends on what you're talking about."
"What are we?" I barely said above a whisper.
His eyes locked with mine. "Anything you want us to be. But listen, we have to figure this out. For christs sake we barely know each other-"
"Then let's get to know each other right now. Learn the basics. We still have thirty minutes left until the third period bell."
He nodded and bit his bottom lip, thinking harshly I could tell by the way his forehead creased and his eyes flew. "Tell me about anything Gerard, not everything, there's some things about you that I need to figure out myself. Tell me the gist of you." He squeezed my hand.
"Okay," I started, "My name is Gerard Arthur Way. Im from Summit. I really like art, like a lot. It's like a cure for anxiety and it calms me down beyond belief. Oil Pastels are my favorite way to draw. They're messy, but that's why I like them so much. Messy things attract me. I really don't like interacting with other people, usually because they don't like interacting with me. So, opening up is kind of hard, you know? I'm an asshole. Ive been told. Even by my fourteen year old brother. I hate needles. I hate the color green and my favorite animal is a gazelle."
"Needles, huh?" He stated. I nodded. "So no tattoos for you then?"
"No. I only like them on other people." I replied and rubbed my thumb over the words on his knuckles.
"Understandable. You're not an asshole, by the way. I can tell that you're very kind but you don't like to show it."
"How would you know?"
"I know a lot of things."
"I'm sure you do." I paused. "Tell me about you. Also include your age, that's like, vital information."
He chuckled. "Well, I'm Frank Anthony Iero and I'm thirty five years old, although I
apparently look older to some people." He rolled his eyes at me. "I love my dog a helluva lot. I fucking love guitars to the point where its probably unhealthy. I find walks in cemeteries endearing, they're peaceful. I tend to lean toward the color purple, I think it's somehow romantic but somehow bad ass. Like flowers. I like flowers too."
"You don't seem like the type to like flowers." I giggled.
"How so?"
"You look like someone who would start a bar fight over a dropped napkin."
"Shockingly, I don't condone that." He laughed, flashing his white teeth that were adorably crooked and exposed his dimples that became more prominent.
"So, um, how do we sort this out?" I questioned.
"I guess this is considered 'seeing someone.'" Frank answered.
"But how are we going to fluently see each other enough to develop this into something?"
"Well, you have your vocal lessons where we'll see each other, first period, your free period on occasion. Im sure we'll be able to figure other things out if it becomes...serious."
"Okay." I twitched my nose. Reality struck me lightning for a moment, "Frank, we could get caught."
"I know."
"Aren't you worried about that?"
"Of course I am."
"Then why are you risking your whole career for a stupid teenager?"
"Because I like this stupid teenager."
I smirked. "This stupid teenager likes you too."
"Well this stupid teenager is quite charming then." He raised his eyebrows.
"This stupid teenager wants to kiss you again."
Frank hesitated before letting his face break out into a wide smile. "In that case, this stupid teenager should come over here and do it."
And I did do it. He made me feel like the color yellow inside. That's happy, in translation.
I kissed him for a few seconds before pulling away myself this time. "You know how Van Gogh ate yellow paint to...to make himself happy? To keep the bad things away?"
Frank nodded cautiously.
"I know it's weird but like, you give me the same satisfaction in happiness that he probably felt when he ate it."
"That's adorable." He told me kindly. He stood up and reached down for my hand, pulling me up with him. He walked back to the front of the stage to the table that was placed at the edge, I followed at his heels. I watched as he grabbed a spare pen and a napkin that was left over from his coffee cup, he scribbled some numbers down and handed it to me.
"Uh, text me or something. Only if it's not too risky for you though. I know some parents check their kids phones and stuff."
I laughed. "My parents wouldn't dare."
"Alrightie then." He said and I shoved the napkin in my jean pocket. He grabbed my wrists gently and pulled me close to him.
"This is going to work." He mumbled.
"Yes, it is."
"You're okay with this, right? I want this to be based around your feelings. What you say is what goes."
"I'm more than okay with this." I was so appreciative of how generous he was being, sounding like he genuinely and most definitely prioritized my comfort and feelings. Nobody had ever cared about me enough to do that.
Frank sighed happily and fluttered his thick eyelashes. "Good. I want you to be comfortable. And I want you to know that I won't ever do something that you don't want, just because I'm ya know, old."
"Thirty five isn't old."
"But it also isn't young."
"Shut up." I said, my tone playful. My heart fluttered when he fragiley kissed my cheek. It was a butterfly kiss. I loved those.
"You should go." He sighed.
"Yeah. I'll maybe text you tonight then?" I played.
His smile turned into a full on beam." Yeah. That'd be great."
I pulled away from his touch and gave him one last smile. I jumped down off the stage and grabbed my bag, tossing it over my shoulder. "Bye Frank."
"Bye Gerard."
A smile stayed on my face as I trudged out of the auditorium, the feeling of the napkin in my pocket making my whole world seem a lot brighter than it did a day before.

---

-
I painted when I got home that night. I made a mess too, but I was happy with it. I had sprawled a canvas out on my bedroom floor and accompanied it with about twelve different brushes and my box filled with acrylic paint. I found myself taking browns and ambers and greens and deep yellows from the box.
When I create things, I usually let my hand take over and don't think about what I'm doing until I'm happy with what appears on the canvas or paper in front of me. It was sort of a casual thing for me, a mindless task as easy as closing a door or shutting a light off after leaving a room. It was natural. And apparently, it was natural for me to thoughtlessly end up painting Frank's eyes.
Of course my painting couldn't compare to even half of how beautiful Frank's eyes were in person, I don't think anyone could ever capture that kind of perfection.
I was in my zone, sitting on my knees hunched over my canvas as my hand flicked my brush everywhere. I was expecting someone in my lively family to interrupt me at some point or another. I was just finishing up the left brow bone when there was a soft knock at my door, guessing it was my mother, I let out a small "Come in."
The door opened slowly to reveal my short mother, a plate in her hand with the same welcoming smile that never seemed to leave her aged face. "Hey sweetie."
I put my brush down and nodded for her to come in completely. She closed my bedroom door behind her and carefully stepped over the items that were scattered upon the hardwood floor. She sat down on the end of my bed and placed the plate on my nightstand. "You didn't come down for dinner earlier so I figured I should make you your favorite."
I smiled at her. "Peanut butter and honey?"
"On whitebread." She replied happily. I got up from where I was working and sat down next to her, grabbing the plate.
"Your hair is getting so long." She observed and brushed a few fringes from my eyes as I bit into the sandwich.
"Yea. Dad doesn't like it." I answered in between chews, thinking about the countless times my dad had told me to cut it before I 'started to look like a girl.'
"Well, I like it. I think it looks very nice on you." She paused. "How has school been, honey?"
"Fine I guess."
"You're making friends?"
"Yes mama."
"Hm. Havin a crush on anyone yet?"
"Mom, please." I groaned.
She giggled. "I'll take that as a yes. What's their name?"
I froze. If I said Frank's name, I'd have no idea how she'd react. I wasn't worried about her finding out who he was, there was a million other kids name Frank in the world. But if I told her I liked a guy, she'd probably tell my father and my father was not a very accepting person. But I loved my mom so much, and she deserved to know what was going on in my life, especially since I had been such a dick to her lately. "Frank." I said sheepishly.
My mom covered her mouth and smiled even wider. "Is he cute?"
I let out a genuine laugh. She didn't even question it. "God, you have no idea."
"Are those his eyes you're painting?"
"How'd you know?"
"Lucky guess. It's beautiful, honey. You're so talented." She kissed my forehead and stood up, taking my now empty plate.
"Thank you mama." I said.
"You're welcome, Geebear. Don't stay up too late."
I said goodnight to her and told her I loved her before she left my room. I didn't deserve a mother as kind as her. She was an angel.
I resulted in discarding my painting for the rest of the night and ended up pulling out my phone. I'd already put Frank's number in earlier during my lunch period, but hadn't texted him yet. I contemplated texting him for a few minutes before finding my thoughts ridiculous and sending him a simple "Hey it's G."
I got nothing back for awhile and tossed my phone to the side to get myself ready for bed. As I was in the middle of putting my shirt on, I heard my phone beep and felt my heart skip three beats.

From Frank:
Hey G! How are you? <3


I smiled to myself.

To Frank:
Fine but tired. Yourself? xx

From Frank:
Im texting you now, so I'm pretty happy.

To Frank:
You're so cheesy <3

From Frank:
Only for you, sweetheart.

My heart was practically beating out of my chest. I shook my head at myself. It was so fucking stupid that something as simple and dumb as being called 'sweetheart' could make me feel like there were butterflies trying to escape from my stomach.


To Frank:
You're such a charmer.

From Frank:
I try my hardest. <3

To Frank:
I can see that. I'm gonna head to bed. Goodnight <3

From Frank:
Goodnight beautiful.

I can proudly say that that night was one of the first nights in about four years where I fell asleep with a smile on my face and didn't have a single nightmare, and I had no one else to thank for that except for Frank Iero himself.

Notes

omg hi babies!! this isnt really long or exciting but i mean, they hvae to start somewhere. i promise you though, shits gonna go down next chapter if you know what i mean ;))) anyways, have a lovely day/night, drink lots of water, and please love yourself!! xx (feedback would be snazzy too since i suck balls lol)