All of the Stars

I really wasn't very fond of Bert McCracken. Sure, he was nice as he could possibly manage, but that didn't stop me from despising him and his upbeat-doucheball personality. It was a dead giveaway that he had a crush on me. A monkey could've figured that shit out. But the way he approached things, and how he acted was something that I didn't want myself involved with. Ever.
I speak on account of everyone at Belleville High when I say Bert McCracken is a lowlife, nothing could be lower than his weed-smoking, sex addict, teenaged alcoholic pathetic excuse of a life. Although I'm not one to shame people's life choices, I can't help but criticize Bert's. It's wrong of me, of course, he never did anything directly awful or rude to me besides being incredibly annoying and creepy at most times.
Scratch that, he was annoying and creepy all the time.
He would peer around the corner of the hallways when I'd be putting my books into my locker. He would follow me around the library during my free period. Let's not mention how he'd sit a close distance away from my friend Lindsey and I during lunch and just stare at me. It wasn't even a normal stare either. I don't think he took time to blink. I'd never seen someone so dedicated to staring at another human being.
So, I bet you can imagine my apparent devastation and dissatisfaction when he decided to transfer himself into my already chaotic first period class. Wonderful, right? I'm sure you can hear my voice dripping in never-ending sarcasm. Right off the bat, I knew Frank didn't like him. Could've been the fact that Bert had basically decided to all but lean against me when he sat down, claiming I was the only person he was familiar with in the class no matter how much I protested.
Frank had actually been on time that day. He was already seated on the edge of the stage when I walked in, a book in one of his tattooed hands while his usual coffee was placed in the other. His soft eyes flashed up when he noticed my presence, he must have given me the sweetest smile to ever exist on the face of the Earth. I returned the smile happily.
"'Morning Gerard." He hummed and
flipped a page in his book.
"Good morning, Mr. Iero." I sat in my usual seat and set my messenger bag in my lap. Without anything to occupy my boredom, I settled my eyes on Frank. I guess he had the same idea because instead of reading the novel he was holding, his green eyes were almost unnoticeably fixated on me.
And that was it. That was our first moment. Our first moment where our minds seemed to intertwine with each other as our gazes became more obvious to ourselves . That was the first time I ever felt something for him, with my eyes taking in every detail of the scruff on his sharp jaw and the sleepy look drawn into his eyes. My heart skipped a beat. He knew how he was making me feel and he looked somehow proud of himself. But with my wonderful luck, that joyous, tad romance filled moment had to be stomped on and soiled by the infamous Bert McCracken making his stupendous grand entrance. By 'grand entrance' I'm talking about him clumsily walking down the aisle of he auditorium while attempting to high-five everyone he walked passed. It wasn't thrilling and I'm sure a look of disgust was plastered on my face throughout his five minutes of cringe-worthy attempted coolness.
Frank paid him no attention and just chuckled at my facial expression that I had mustered up before turning back to his book. I liked the way he pursed his lips when he read, how his eyebrows arched out of concentration. I liked the way he would itch the tip of his nose on his sweater every few minutes without distracting himself from reading. I found myself starting to like everything about him. It was completely overwhelming. Not as overwhelming as the night before, though.
After our talk the day before, when I got home, I could barely sleep. All I could do was think about him and his face, his voice, his eyes, his smile. I had come to the conclusion that I was in fact falling for a man who I didn't know who was also over ten years old than me. And if you ask me, Im sure that's all kinds of illegal.
First period bell rang and everyone scurried to find a seat. Which brings us to the most awaited moment, the moment where Bert McCracken decided to plop his skinny ass in the seat right next to mine. I can't even begin to explain how much he fucking reeked of a mixture of Fireball, cigarettes, and armpit odor. His appearance was bland, and in the back of my mind I heard myself think 'His looks are nothing compared to Frank's.'
And that was true. Bert looked like a greasy and washed up cocaine dealer that you could find in pretty much any alley you walked through in the state of New Jersey. His shoulder length hair never looked washed and was always matted with knots the extent where it seemed like a family of Ewoks could live in it.
"I had no idea you were in this class, Gee." Bert's alcohol stained breath filled my nostrils as he spoke. He leaned over the armrest of his seat so he was probably only four inches away from my face.
I scoffed and gave him the bitchiest and most disgusted look I could manage. "Yeah, shocking. Isn't it?"
Bert jolted upright in his seat and smiled widely, "You're just full of surprises, aren't you Way?"
"Not really." I replied bitterly. At some point, Bert had finally stopped talking after endless minutes of boasting about how he had an 'undying passion for musical theater and couldn't wait for the experience of getting to share the class experience with me.' Which obviously was a load of bullshit. Eventually Frank slapped his book shut and stood up, adjusting his burgundy sweater and giving us all a bright smile. "Hey kiddos. How's your morning going?"
As usual, multiple people groaned while some replied with a short answer of, "Fine."
Frank sighed. "I see we have a new edition to our little performer collection, yeah?" His darted to Bert who was mindlessly staring off into space. Bert cleared his throat and let out a burp and laughed obnoxiously as the guy behind our seats fist bumped him for his academy award-winning belch. I rolled my eyes.
Frank's eyes widened. "What a charmer. Anyway, I want to start a project before we do our part auditions next Monday."
I leaned forward in my seat.
"I'll give you a choice of either working with one other person or with a group of no more than four."
A bunch of kids let out triumphant whispers.
"But wait my lovely children," Frank smirked, "There's a catch. One person in the group must do all the singing. Only one. But, what singing? You must be wondering. I'm assigning you all a topic, you are to create some kind of song, hym, whatever the hell you want. But, your little creation has to be related to your topic. Another catch, the person singing doesn't see the song until the day it's supposed to be performed. In front of the whole class."
"Okay, what the actual fuck." I heard Patrick mumble to the boy beside him.
"I know it's mean of me." Frank chuckled. "But I think you guys need some kind of a challenge. You're graduating in less than five months, I barely have any time left to torture you before you go off to college. Well, those of you who are actually going to college." He glanced at Bert.
His eyes locked with mine and I felt a chill rush through my whole body. "Some of you are very talented. This assignment should be a walk in the park for you guys."
I was semi pissed about the whole idea of this asinine project. I didn't work well with other people, I liked things done my way without confusion or help from anyone else. I didn't like hearing other people's ideas because honestly, I was edgy and selfish and I thought only my ideas and opinions were the only ones that mattered.
Frank let out a cough and blinked his eyes harshly, "Choose your groups or your partner- whatever you're doing. I have to take care of something so please, behave yourselves and don't act like a pack of wild brats while I'm gone."
I watched him intently as he walked down the aisle of the auditorium, coughing the whole time he walked. I wanted more than anything to follow him and leave the fucking doofus' that filled the room I was forced to be in.
"Hey." A warm voice said next to me. I turned my head slowly and came face to face with no one other than Ray. He was smiling brightly like always. "Do you have a partner yet? I mean," He gestured his head toward Bert who was talking to the guy behind him again, his voice loud and enthusiastic.
My eyes went wide and I shook my head wildly. Ray chuckled, "Well, you wanna be my partner? No pressure or anything."
I gave him a gentle smile, "Sure."
Ray nodded and sat down on the opposite side of me that wasn't taken by Bert. "You can sing right?"
"So I've been told."
"Good. I took song writing classes during middle school so I guess I kinda have an idea of what we're supposed to do."
"That's great." We didn't say anything to each other for a few minutes.
"So, why'd you stay after class with Mr. Iero yesterday?" Ray asked curiously. He didn't make eye contact and just played with his fingers a little.
"Uh, he wanted to know if I wanted to sing the national anthem next week."
"See? I told you, Gerard. He's like, obsessed with you."
I forced out a quiet laugh. "I don't think 'obsessed' is the right word."
Ray shrugged. "I'm telling you now, I'm pretty sure he has a thing for you."
If only he knew.
I think there's a huge difference between liking someone and having 'a thing' for them. Usually when somebody says "I have a thing for you," there's some kind of sexual innuendo put along with it. Frank didn't have a thing for me, at least I was pretty sure. He definitely liked me, there was no doubt about that.
Frank did walk back in eventually. He apologized for his absence and gave us his dumb little smile that was always on his face. He stood in front of all of us again, glancing at me knowingly and I felt my whole body set on fire. I felt like their was silk rushing in my veins.
"I do nothing but waste time in this class, honestly." Frank sighed, "Alright, topic time. Your song needs to be a remake of a song from any broadway play that you choose. Give it the same vibe, ya know? Give it some umph."
"Do you mean like a parody?" Bert asked. He looked genuinely confused.
"Do you know what the word 'remake' means?" Frank asked. There was an obvious tone of annoyance and sarcasm dancing in his raspy voice.
"Yes?" Bert said cautiously.
"You just answered your own question." Frank snapped.
I tried hard to hide my giggles at what had happened. Frank clearly, as I said before, didn't like Bert from the start. It was amusing, so very amusing to watch the person that I hated most get completely demolished by someone who I had a liking for.
"Song is due next Monday." Frank said. He rubbed his hands together, "Bell rings in a few minutes. Gerard, stay after. I have to talk to you about next week."
I felt my face go physically red as he turned his back to us and picked his book up again.
"You're comfortable just staying after and talking to him?" Ray asked. He sounded concerned.
"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I shot back and searched through my messenger bag for my phone.
"I don't know. I know we barely know each other but I care for you, dude. I don't want you getting molested or something." He said.
I rolled my eyes and stop fumbling through my bag for a second. "I'm not going to get molested."
"How do you know that?"
"Because I'm pretty sure Mr. Iero is a mature adult who wouldn't dare hurt a student. He loves his job, it's obvious. Why would he risk losing that?"
"I guess you're right. He's just...weird."
"A lot of people are weird. It keeps the world balanced."
"Gerard I'm not trying to be judgemental-"
"Ray, drop it. It's fine. I'm not offended over the fact that you think a teacher is creepy. Don't stress over it."
All he did was nod. I patted his arm gently and he smiled, his brown eyes gleaming in the dim light of the auditorium. He was a nice kid and I was so grateful that he had decided to try and be my friend although I was the hugest fucking asshole.
Second period bell rang and Frank did the usual. Said goodbye, wished everyone a nice day. He was kind. So kind. And I wasn't. I got out of my seat and sat myself on the edge of the stage where I had sat the day before. Frank followed pursuit and sat next to me.
"You didn't really wanna talk to me about next week, huh?" I smiled.
"No," He admitted and laughed shyly, "I wanted to tell you that I can't do your vocal lesson after school today, I have a doctor thing for my lungs-"
"Lungs?" I asked.
"Yea I smoked a lot when I was your age and now I'm all kinds of fucked up in there. Doesn't help my asthma."
"Oh. Well do you wanna reschedule?" I asked.
"I was thinking we could just do it right now, it won't be your whole period. I know you have other things to do-"
"It's okay. I can do them tomorrow."
He pushed his hair back. "Perfecto."
We both stood up and he silently led me to the piano that was tucked toward the back of the stage, just in front of the curtain. He sat down on the seat in front of the keys, patting next to him, telling me to sit. The seat was quite small, but I wasn't complaining. Our thighs and shoulders were pressed against each other's, I felt myself instantly relax at his touch. He was warm. Incredibly warm to the point where it was comforting.
He cleared his throat, pulled the sleeves of his sweater up and God, I was mesmerized. I had figured that there would be tattoos on his arms, but I never expected them to be completely filled. They were so colorful and gorgeous, there were stars and words and dates and it was so much to take in. There were so many pictures, so much artwork, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.
"You like them?" He asked so gently, I could feel the warmth and the tooth aching sweetness in his voice.
"They're beautiful." I wanted to brush my fingers over them, and just feel them under my hands. "Can I...?"
"Go for it." He smirked lazily. I blinked a few times, just staring at his arm as I let my fingertips brush over the ink that was glued to his pale skin. His skin was soft, smooth, and so fucking reassuring. I felt sparks in my stomach as I touched him, I could feel his breath on my neck as he leaned closer to me to see how I was brushing over his skin. I looked up at him, his face was relaxed as he stared down at my hand that was now rested on his lower arm.
"Your hands are soft." He whispered.
"Your skin is soft." I whispered back.
His eyes flickered across my face, not stopping until they reached mine. "You're just...you're so pretty Gerard...I, I can't explain it."
"Thank you." We stared at each other for what felt like years. That was when I officially realized that I wanted him, with every piece of me. I wanted to see all of his tattoos. I wanted to feel his warm hands on my skin. I wanted to feel his lips on mine and hear his torn voice whisper in my ear. I knew nothing about this man, but what I did know is that I wanted to fall for him. I wanted him to fall for me. I wanted us to want each other.
I felt him shift against me as he placed his art covered fingers on the center of the piano, "You were in choir, right?"
"Yes. For two years."
"So you remember your scales?"
"Hardly."
"That's okay. Sing what you remember. And remember Gerard, I'm not hear to judge you. I promise." He patted my knee. I nodded.
Turns out, I did remember my scales. And according to Frank, I sang them perfectly. We went on for about thirty minutes with him playing notes on the piano and asking me to match them as best as I could. Every time I matched them, he would give me such an admiring look. It made me want to sing forever just so I could get his praise. There was a time in the lesson where he placed his hand on my middle back and told me to push out from there. My voice projection wasn't the best, he'd told me. His hand lingered there as I sang. He was right, when I sang from that area, my voice was perfect.
"You're so fucking talented." He mumbled. We were still sitting as close as could be, I could smell him. His smell of cheap cologne and fabric softener. It smelled like heaven on earth to me.
"You're a fucking good teacher." I replied.
He chuckled. "I try my best."
"I'm serious." I said. "You're so passionate about everything you do, Frank. The way you talk about music, your eyes light up."
"They also light up when I see you."
"I know. Ive noticed."
We were facing each other again, our fronts still turned to the piano. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his tiny breaths blow across my cheeks.
"You're face is so unique." Frank whispered. He moved his hands like he was about to do something, but instantly hesitated.
"You can touch me." I said. He looked as if he was about to say something but decided against it and raised his hand to cup my jawline. This is what I had wanted. His thumbs rubbed over my cheek so softly that it felt like he was barely touching me. I closed my eyes, taking in the feeling of him delicately placing his skin against mine.
"Fuck," He breathed, "You're so fucking...I don't even have a word to describe-"
I opened my eyes. "Kiss me."
He froze and took his hand away from my face. "W-what?"
"Kiss me, Frank."
"Gerard I shouldn't-"
"I don't fucking care if you shouldn't. Do you understand how you've made me feel these past two days? I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking about you. I didn't even think I was capable in finding myself attracted to you but i've been so fucking overwhelmed these past twenty four hours. I can't get your stupid smile out of my head and how shaky your dumb fucking voice is. I don't care if you're fucking forty years old, or however old you are, Frank. I don't care if you're my fucking teacher. I don't care if I barely know anything about you. All I care about is that you're here in front of me, and you're a piece of living fucking art. God, just fucking kiss me you idiot."
And with that, my beautiful musical theater teacher who was ways older than me, who I knew nothing about, cupped my jaw in his hand again and pressed his lips against mine.

Notes

hello and happy easter my babies! im so fucking amazed at how much feedback this is getting, it went from 9 subscribers to 12 in one day like jesus fuck, thats remarkable. i really do appreciate all of the comments, they really do encourage me to write this dumb fanfic that you all 12 of you seem to like. so hence, i will be greedy and ask for more comments because they make my day 10x better. i hope you guys have a beautiful holiday, drink lots of water, and love yaselves. <3 xx