All of the Stars

Frank's trial was quick. He wasn't sentenced to anything, mainly because after weeks of convincing, my mother finally gave up and didn't press charges or anything remotely terrible on him. He lost his job, of course. He was banned from accepting any kind of job in the American Education System for impression on a minor. I didn't understand that. The only impression he had on me was a good one. My family didn't understand that if he hadn't waltzed into my life then I still would've been a depressed piece of living shit on legs.
I only saw him one more time before he fled New Jersey and probably disappeared off the face of the Earth. It was a quick and fucking dreadful goodbye that happened right in the middle of July. I had been with Ray and Bert in some rundown diner in Jersey City, munching on my pizza when Ray pointed out Frank from behind his menu to where he'd been sitting at the counter, causing me nearly choke on a pepperoni. Frank didn't notice us right away, but when he did, he looked like he'd just about seen a damn ghost. We smiled at each other subtlety, and that was the only physical way we ever communicated ever again. He did drop a scribbled on napkin on the table as he walked out, not even looking at me when he'd done the deed.
I didn't read the napkin right away. I tucked it in my pocket and focused on my friends and the food that was placed in front of me.I went home that night, after Bert decided it would be a good idea to kiss me. Spoiler; it wasn't a good idea. I curled up in my bed with Sweet Pea and pulled out that simple little napkin. It made me nostalgic to look at Frank's scratchy and vulgar handwriting. It reminded me of when he would write on the school boards in the hallway, just little notes, reminders, and sometimes testing schedules.
It would be a lie if I said a stray tear didn't roll down my cheek when I read that Goddamned napkin. It was so fucking simple yet so fucking hurtful.

forever remember that you're all of the stars in my sky and the c major in my heartstrings.
xofrnk

I never heard from him again. Nobody did. It was as if he completely vanished. Sometimes, I even doubted he was real and maybe I imagined him to cope with my pathetic teenage life. That wasn't the case. He was just gone. Forever. I had a hard time accepting that up until I finished college. Dating was always a hassle throughout school because I compared almost everyone to Frank, every single person that even looked at me in a flirtatious way. I never threw the napkin away. I tucked into the desk of my dorm and never looked at it, but I always knew it was there. It gave me comfort. Sweet Pea stayed with my mother and Mikey while I attended an art school up in New York. I never said goodbye to that damn dog, she died two years after my depart with Frank. At least she had peaceful death. She slipped under the covers of my old bed and died in sleep because honestly, she could've been 130 in dog years.
I graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Art Education. Yes, education. Fret not, I didn't become an art class supervisor to fuck a teenager and be a philosopher to them, that wasn't in my list of fortes. Instead, I sold my art for about a year and used that money to buy the space above on old warehouse where I turned it into an art studio for people who just wanted to learn how to paint a damn flower. I gave classes sometimes until I hired my friend Lindsey who started running the business with me. Everything was fucking fantastic, I reached that happy point in my life where everything was finally falling into place, just Frank told me it would.
And when it was coming together, it brought me to the question of;
Do you ever look at someone and wonder, “Where could they be going?”
I never used to. I never used to pay attention to those things. I used to be that conceited teenager who had no values or goals, no frequent emotions or priorities. I had no hope for my future, I thought nobody believed in me. That's how it felt most of the time. Lonely.
Loneliness doesn't occur much for me anymore.
I sit outside during the middle of the night sometimes, on the roof of my apartment building. And I look up. And I stare. I look at all of the stars, the burning balls of gas that are millions of miles away from where I sit. I still think they're beautiful. They're open and pure. But they all burn out at some point. They explode. That's okay, they move on. The pieces of that diminished star form into another star, an even bigger more beautiful star that was greater than the last. I use that as a metaphor. Frank was my star, a very beautiful star that was on the edge of demising since day one. He burnt out all too quickly. There's a catch to that though, his pieces of dust and rock were where he taught me how to let people see my emotions. Where he taught me how to love someone and receive their love for me. Those pieces formed into the love that somehow conjured to Ryan.
I met Ryan in the most clichest way possible. I spilled red paint on the fucker's white T-shirt during a class. Again, fret not, Ryan was of legal age. I don't know how it happened, but we immediately hit it off. He was this scrawny, confused red-headed kid that could barely draw a straight line, which was understandable because he was gayer than I was. He understood my pain and he didn't judge me when I told him that a piece of my heart was still devoted to Frank even though I didn't know him anymore. Ryan was everything I could've ever asked for in a person, he gave me everything I ever needed. I never looked at the stars alone again after I met him. He became all of my stars. And that was fine by me.
My life was finally okay.

Notes

i know there's gonna be a question like " hey ressurectionist where the fuck did frank go??? " well getta loada this, franks happily livin in california wit his 4 new dogs so its not all that bad.
anyway yea, theres the end kiddos. thank you so much for sticking with me through this and thank you so much for all of the sweet comments, theres a few thatve made me tear up because people actually enjoy something that i love to do. im workin on another story that probs isnt that great but heck, thank you so much ily all so fuckin much
until we meet again kiddos xx