The Beginning//Gerard Way Fan Fiction.

"Without a sound, without a sound. And I wish you away."


"Perfect Gerard!" Alex shouts while standing up from the chair.

Gerard smiles enthusiastically while taking the headphones off he head and placing them back on the table in the booth.

I don't know how a person could be so perfect and not even know it. His presence a lone is just mesmerizing. I thought to myself. The guy that walked towards the studio, head down and withdrawn had completely changed when he was in that booth. The past half hour, seeing this other side come out of Gerard was something indescribable. It was like a completely different person, someone so sure and so confident with himself, something I never expected.

As Gerard walks towards the door of the booth, my heart begins to beat faster knowing I would actually have to interact with him.

"So what did you think Jess?" The sound of Frank's voice breaks my though, however I am so consumed with the realization of having to be in the same room as Gerard, I find myself unable to gather my thoughts.

"I-It-It was great! Yeah it was really good." I state, adjusting my shirt and trying to gather my words.

"Oh come on, I know you have more in you then that. Jess you never shut up about music." My brother says, pushing me to speak more.

"Well I've barely heard much of anything yet Jay. I won't give my full opinion until I hear it all." I snap, glaring towards my brother.

I feel bad snapping on him like that. I know Jay means well and is just trying to push me, but with all the mixed emotions I am feeling within this moment, the last thing I want to do is slip up, or say something that would make my insecurities obvious to everyone else.

"Gerard! That was awesome dude! Best vocals yet!" Geoff loudly and excitingly exclaims, hugging Gerard as he enters the studio area.

Just breathe Jess, I thought to myself, clenching my fists lightly, while watching Gerard and Geoff embrace each other.The hug was quick lived and I see Gerard begin to turn his attention to the one thing I was hoping he wouldn't...me.

"You must be Jess! It's so nice to meet you, Jay and Geoff have told me so much about you." Gerard says, extending his hand towards me while smiling warmly.

"You too, uhh I mean, it's nice to meet you as well. Geoff and Jay don't shut up about you guys." I say, stumbling slightly on my words.

I nervously bite my lip and extend my hand towards him, meeting his grasp.

His hands are so fucking soft, how are they this soft. I thought aimlessly to myself. Suddenly realizing I've how long I've probably been shaking his hand, I withdraw my hand from his and place it in the pockets of my jeans.

"It's really nice of you to drive all this way and check us out." Gerard continued talking, either not noticing or ignoring the awkward physical contact that has just happened between us.

"Yeah, you like what you see Jess?" Frank smugly states, placing a hand on his hip and kissing the air.

I could kiss Frank in that moment. His ridiculous comments and comic relief was the perfect distraction I needed for my mind to focus on something that wasn't the beautiful dark haired boy that stood in front of me.

"Oh totally, white guys with dreads are such a turn on." I smirk, flicking Frank's head.

Frank starts laughing loudly, as well as most of the guys in the room.

"Well I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving! Let's go get some food!" Ray says, stretching his arms behind his head.

"You guys go ahead, in gonna finish up here and do some mixing. I'll see you guys tomorrow, bright and early. Don't get too fucked up tonight." Alex casually states while pressing buttons on the mixing board.

Frank places his hand over his heart "Alex that hurts me deep that you would think this responsible group of young people here would get wasted and come to work hungover."

"Oh fuck off Frank and get outta here."

Frank laughs loudly as we all begin to gather our things and walk out the door.

"Alright, while don't we all meet down at the diner. I've got my car here and Jess has hers so we can just all split off and take the two cars." Geoff states pointing to the road as we walk outside.

Everyone decides to split up and Jay, Frank and Gerard end up deciding to ride with me. I am thankful to have Jay and Frank with me, the thought of being a lone with Gerard makes me feel sick to my stomach.

Even though I had just met Frank today, there was something about his personality, that pulled me to him. He seemed genuine, sweet and real. Being in his presence was comforting, unlike Gerard's that gave me nothing but stress and anxiety.

"This car is so bad ass, I feel like a grandfather!" Frank exclaims while slipping into the back seat with Gerard, while my brother road shotgun with me up front.

I chuckle. "Yeah, it was my dads. Since he's on the road all the time he just gave it to me. It's old, but it's reliable as fuck."

I turn on the car and start driving towards the diner with help from Jay.

"So what do you do for fun Jess, other then making sure your brother isn't being an idiot?" Gerard's voice breaks the sound of The Clash coming through the car speakers.

I glance in my rear view mirror to see his beautiful hazel eyes staring back at me with an inquisitive look.

"Well right now I'm working at music store. Mostly just behind the counter sales, but starting next month I'll be running a few classes teaching kids about song writing." I state, looking right back at him through the rear view mirror.

"That's really cool Jess, so you write music? Are you in a band or anything?" Gerard smiles warmly looking at me again.

After briefly breaking our eye contact to look back at the road, my eyes meet his in the mirror again.

"Yeah, I've been writing since I was about thirteen. I could never see myself being in a band though, I don't have much desire for the stage, more just the background stuff."

Gerard smiles at me and shakes his head as if he understands, however I can see in his eyes that he is thinking about something.

"Jess has a fucking awesome voice, if only she thought that, maybe she would actually be in the band." My brother states, turning around to face the guys.

I can feel the redness take over my face. I hate being made a fuss over, and I hate people pressuring me to sing.

"Shut up will you." I annoyingly say while hitting my brother on the arm.

"That's really cool though! Maybe one day we can hear you sing or one of your songs Jess. No pressure though." Frank says smiling kindly, picking up on my obvious embarrassment.

In that moment I am overly thankful to see the dinner up the road. I swiftly pull into the dinner parking lot and turn the car.

"Thank fuck, I'm starving, let's go!" Jay practically yells while rushing to get out of the car.

I open the door and swing my legs outside, still sitting in the seat. I reach my hand in my pocket and pull out my cigarettes bringing one to my lips and letting the nicotine enter my system. I know smoking is absolutely terrible, but it relaxes me instantly, and gives me time to gather my thoughts.As I am closing my eyes enjoying the smoke filling my lungs, I feel a shadow standing over me. As I look up, I am greeted once again with those beautiful hazel eyes.

"Hey can I borrow your lighter, mines dead?" Gerard asks while smiling down at me.

I nod and hand him my lighter, our fingers brushing against each other. Instead of me expecting to feel his fingers quickly leave mine, his hand seems to linger in mine.

"What Frank said in the car is true. No pressure or anything, but I would love to see what you've written sometime. I know how hard it can be to push yourself to try things your are afraid or hesitant of, but sometimes, that's just what we need."

Gerard words hit me hard, it was like he could reach my mind without me having to say anything. Like he could read all my insecurities and thoughts by just being in my presence.Not knowing what to say, I simply nod my head and smile at him.

Gerard takes the lighter and we are just left in silence smoking next to each other. However it's not an uncomfortable silence, and I am not feeling as anxious around him as I was earlier. Gerard's words calmed me, his presence made me feel suddenly self aware.I gather my thoughts while standing up and butting out my cigarette. I turn towards Gerard and my place a hand on his arm lightly.

"Hey Gerard?"

Gerard looks over to me, briefly looking at my hand and then back to my eyes.



"Thanks."

Notes