The Beginning//Gerard Way Fan Fiction.

As I enter the diner I can hear Frank's loud laughter from the corner of the room.

I stand there and watch them for a minute. Frank is busy joking around with Mikey and Jay while Ray and Matt seem to be having a in depth conversation about something. Geoff is busy looking at the menu, clearly too focused on eating.

Suddenly I feel a presence beside me and I turn to see Gerard smiling down at me. "Should we join them?" Gerard asks pointing his head towards the table.

I simply nod and follow behind him towards the group. "Finally! Where the hell were you guys?" Geoff says, pulling his gaze away from the menu.

"Were you guys getting cozy?" Frank smirks while nudging me in the shoulder as I sit down next to him.

I immediately begin to feel my cheeks become warm and see my brothers head whip towards where Gerard is now sitting.

I casually hit Frank's shoulder and shake off my embarrassment. "Now why would I cuddle with him, when I have this beautiful creature sitting next to me?" I state, staring at him in a serious manner.

"Uh-well, hmmm" Frank mumbles, obviously taken back by what I said.

We all immediately start laughing at his embarrassment.

"You're so cute when you're embarrassed Frankie." Ray laughs, reaching his hands across the table to pinch his cheeks.

"Oh fuck off Ray, let's order already." Frank grumbles, swatting Rays hands away from his face.

We all laugh as the waitress approaches us to take our orders. After we place our orders, everyone goes back to talking among themselves but I can feel my brothers eyes staring at me. I turn towards him and raise my eyebrow. He learns over and whispers to me "What was taking you and Gerard so long?"

I roll my eyes. "He just asked to borrow a lighter and we talked a little bit while having a smoke, relax Jay." I calmly whisper to him back.

"Whatever you say. Just be careful with him okay. He's nice and everything but he's a lot more complicated then you think."

I shake my head at my brother and glance toward Gerard. Gerard seems to feel my eyes on him and looks towards me slightly smiling. I return the smile and go back to listening to Geoffs and Frank's conversation about some local Jersey band.

I wonder what Jay means by complicated I wonder while zoning out.

Jay has been overly protective of me since my mothers death. I know in some way he felt responsible for protecting my heart. He had seen how broken and lost I had become after she died and it took him, my father and lots of therapy to get me back. I never really felt whole since my moms passing, and as I got older I learned how to mask the pain from her absence in my life. That and the combination of pills I consumed over the years seemed to make me less numb to feeling anything.

Nearing the end of our dining experience the guys had decided on a night of drinking and bar hopping. "Didn't Alex tell you guys to do the opposite of what you are planning on doing?" I questioned, making all the guys roll their eyes at me.

"You can't expect us young, handsome men to turn down a night of drinking and potentially meeting pretty girls." Frank states, grinning from ear to ear.

"Whatever you idiots say. Have fun, but if you go in hungover Alex is going to kill you."

"You leave Alex to us." Ray says while patting my head. The guys begin to try to convince me to come, but Jay was quick to remind them how I was under age which made me unimpressed and annoyed with my brothers over protective antics.

"Eh I know the owner, I'm sure I could pull some strings." Geoff encourages, placing an arm around my shoulder.

"It's alright Geoff, I think I'm gonna have a quiet night in, it's been a long day." I smile at him. Geoff understood how my brother got and always tried to be the middle ground between us. In some ways he was like an older sibling to me, he seemed to understand how over dramatic Jay could become at times.

"Are you sure Jess? It would certainly be fun to have you around." Gerard smiles towards me.

"No-no I'm sure. It's fine, thanks though Gerard. Some other time, yeah, some other time." I stumble slightly while avoiding direct eye contact. Gerard and the other guys just seem to nod their heads in understanding, not pushing me any further.

When we leave the diner, I follow Geoff to his house to drop off Jay, Gerard and Frank. I wave them goodbye as they all make their way inside.

Surely enough I see Gerard turn his head back towards the car and smile to me. His smile made my heart drop in the pit of my stomach and I instantly became uneasy being under his gaze. I quickly smile back at him and put my car in reverse and make my way back to my motel.

When I hit a red light on my way back to the motel I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I immediately frown at the sight. My hair was severely faded and my roots evident. Normally I never gave a shit about how it looked, but that damn black haired boy brought out insecurities in me I thought I had long forgotten about. I fortunately remember a drug store I saw on the drive to the studio from the motel and quickly pull off the road and into the store parking lot. After buying all my hair supplies and a few nail polishes I continue on my journey back to the motel.

Upon entering my motel room, the familiar smell of must and old coffee fill my nose. I throw all my stuff on the bed and immediately change into some sweat pants and take my shirt off, leaving me in just my sports bra. I severely lacked any hope of growing bigger boobs and I accepted that fact, often not bothering to wear a real bra. My bra collection consisted of two actual nice "bras" while the rest consisted of sports bras, bikini tops or lace bralettes.

While dying my hair I thought of everything that actually transpired all day. I couldn't believe I had let someone I barely knew take control of my emotions so quickly. I had learned to build a wall around my heart over the years and rarely let anyone in that wall.

In high school guys nicknamed me the "Ice Queen" because of me calling them out on their bullshit and constantly turning down dates. I didn't have my first kiss until I was sixteen and I was absolutely plastered off Jameson when it happened. Some of the guys in school even had a running bet of who could get into my pants first. Of course they all failed, and here I was, an eighteen year old who had never even had sex.

Not that I minded though, I worked so hard at keeping others out, that the thought of letting another person in and be that intimate with them terrified me.Maybe that's what scared me so much about Gerard, yet intrigued me all the same. He was mysterious. His eyes told one story, yet his body language told another. I knew the game he was playing, because I was playing the same one.

After nearly two hours of hair care and many cigarettes later, I was finally finished and happy. My hair was once again it's bright and vibrate red and blonde, and I felt my confidence grow back within me. I quickly threw a old cut up sweater on my bare torso and laid down on the bed and soon drifted off.

*ring, ring, ring, ring*

The sound of my cellphone caused me to jolt up from my bed hitting my arm on the head board in the process. "Fucking hell!" I groaned as I rubbed my arm, stumbling towards my cellphone.

"What!?" I said angrily, still too sleepy to check who was calling at God knows what time.

"Jesssssssssssss" Frank's slurred voice filled my ears.

I groaned, obviously realizing that Frank was hammered. I quickly checked my phone to see that he was calling from Jays number. "Frank do you have any idea what time it is? Why are you calling from Jays phone, where his he?"

"Jesssssss" hiccup "I'm sorryyyy, can you come get us?" hiccup "Pleaseeeeeee?"

"What do you mean come get you Frank? Where are you and where is Jay?" I hear some muffling and I can't make out what is happening. "Hello? Frank? FRANK?" I practically yell into the phone, my annoyance quickly building to anger and worry.

"Hey, Frank stop, Hey Jess, it's Ray."

"Ray, hey, what's going on? Where are you? Where's Jay?" I quickly blurt out.

"Woah woah, slow down. We are at a pub like fifteen minutes from the motel you are staying at. Frank, Gerard and Mikey are wasted. Your brother and Geoff left like an hour ago with a couple girls but Jay gave us his phone and said to call you and you'd come bring us to Mikey and Gee's place."

Of fucking course he did, I thought rolling my eyes. Rays voice interrupted my thoughts. "Listen Jess, I'm really sorry, I would normally make them all walk, but they are way too shit faced for that."

"No-no, that's fine Ray. Give me the address and directions and I'll leave right now." I quickly scribble down the direction Ray gives me and I rush out my motel, throwing a beanie on my head in the process.

Upon pulling up to the bar, I look down and realize I am still in my sweat pants and cut off hoodie. I groan at how much of an idiot I am and quickly notice Ray trying to drag the guys out of the bar. I put my car in park and get out to help Ray with the guys.

Frank is the first to notice my presence and he squeals and runs towards me. "Jessssss, you came!" He excitingly states while hugging me and slightly lifting me up from the ground. After putting me back down he begins to giggle. "What are you wearing?" He laughs pointing to my outfit.

"You assholes woke me up, what do you expect?!" I grumble, throwing my hood over my head.

Ray appears next to me with Gerard and Mikey in toe, both of them looking absolutely trashed. Gerard's hair was sticking up all over the place and Mikey's glasses sat crooked on his face. "Thank you so much Jess, seriously." Ray says, while half hugging me.

"All is good Ray, let's get you all home shall we." I chuckle while raising an eyebrow towards Gerard. Gerard is just looking at me with an overly drunken grin on his face. He quickly scans his eyes down towards my exposed stomach and smirks, returning his gaze to my eyes. Once again, I feel overly insecure with myself and quickly get in the drivers side, waiting for the highly intoxicated passengers to get in.

The ride back to Gerard and Mikey's parents house was filled with Mikey and Frank's slurred banter, while Ray told me where to go and Gerard seemingly looked out the window. Once we reach the Way residence I quickly put the car in park and wait for the guys to get out. They all take their time drunkenly thanking me and stumbling to get out of the vehicle.

After watching them all make their way towards the house, I pull my cigarettes out of my hoodie and light one, while placing my other hand outside the drivers window. I suddenly feel a hand being placed over my hand and I quickly glance to see who had suddenly invaded my space. I look and see a drunken Gerard smiling down at me.

"You dyed your hair." He slurs, eyes glazed over.



"Yeah, decided to fix the mop finally." I chuckle adjusting my hood to reveal my hair a bit more that sits under my beanie.

"It-it looks good. Yeah. It looked good before too but-yeah it's good." Gerard stumbled on his words. I couldn't tell if this was because he was nervous or because he was highly intoxicated.

"Uh thanks Gerard." I mumble, uncomfortable with the compliments being placed on me.

"No problem. Thanks again, for driving us that is."

"No problem Gerard. See you tomorrow, yeah?" I ask while dropping the cigarette out of the car.

"Yeah, totally." Gerard says while beginning to drunkly walk back towards the house.

Just as I am about to leave, I hear his voice once more, coming from up the driveway.

"Oh and Jess?" he calls out.

"Yeah?" I say, placing my head partly out the window.




"You look beautiful with or without the hair."

Notes