Those eyes. I cannot forget those eyes.



I shudder at the sudden breeze that hits my skin, breaking from me from my trance. I must have been staring at the space the boy with the dark hair once walked through for at least the past five minutes.

Shaking my head, and collecting my thoughts I quickly flick my obviously finished cigarette towards the road. I begin to walk back towards the front door, fiddling with my hair. I look down at my worn out clothing sighing, suddenly feelings uncomfortable and insecure in my own skin.

What the fuck is wrong with you Jess, I thought, while beginning my descend down the stairs, and towards the studio that was filled a group of people I barely knew, my brother and his best friend.

I breathe in as I grab the handle and open the door, looking towards the ground in front of me, trying to avoid any possibility of having to look at the dark haired boy whose eyes consumed my every sense.

I glance over towards the chair next to Alex that I once sat in, to see Geoff, now sitting there, so I quickly shuffled over to the worn out couch and sat down next to my brother and Mikey.
When I sit down on the couch, Mikey stopping fiddling around with the bass guitar in his hands and glanced my way, a grin appearing on his face.

"So my brother tells me that you have a great ear for music Jess" Mikey states, gazing at me intently.

"I guess so". I hate being made a fuss over. "I mean, we grew up in the music industry in some sense, so it kind of comes second nature, ya know?" I mumble, playing with the cracked fake leather on the couch.

"I've heard a ton of stories about yours and Jay's life growing up, you guys have certainly been through and seen a lot."Mikey states while squeezing my knee. "But I trust Geoff and your brothers opinions a lot, and if you are anything short of how amazing they describe you to be, I'm sure you're destined to do great things."

His words seem so honest and pure. The way Mikey's soft and reassuring eyes stare at me create a comfort and warmth inside me that was taken away from me not even ten minutes prior.

Our conversation is broken by the sound of Frank's laughter overtaking the studio. "Dude, Gerard honestly freaked out this fucking much over a tooth. We think he's going fucking crazy, and it turns out just to be a stupid fucking tooth!"

I glance over at Frank who is bent over the sound system, while holding his hand over his mouth, attempting to hide that cheeky smile of his.

"Whatever the fuck it was, be glad he figured it out and we can fucking finish this thing already." Geoff states while standing up from the chair and walking towards the sound booth.

I look through the glass and see the dark haired boy furrowing his eyebrows, reading stuff out of a notebook. For this I am somewhat thankful. I wasn't sure if I was ready to feel the emotions that he somehow made me feel with only a glance.

Geoff opens the door to the sound booth and closes it, walking towards Gerard. I am unable to make out what they are saying inside the booth, but I can see Gerard relaxing with every word Geoff is telling him.

After what feels like forever, but is realistically five minutes, I see Geoff pat Gerard on the back and make his way out of the booth. When Geoff enters back into the room an exciting smile fills his face as he claps his hands together enthusiastically.

"Alright boys, if Gerard can get this right, we can officially say we are done with this record." Geoff happily exclaims while plopping himself back into the worn out chair next to Alex at the mixing board.

"Just you wait until you hear him Jess, I swear to god this is something you will never forget." My brother whispers while leaning towards me and Mikey on the couch.

I turn my head towards him and raise my eyebrows. I have never heard or seen my brother so enthusiastic about someone or something in my life. My brother had always been passionate about the music scene and always supportive but the way he had described this band to me and sureness he had in his voice intrigued me. It's what made me decide to spend my week of holidays driving out to Jersey to see just what had him so mesmerized.

All this talk from my brother gave me a sudden burst of energy and surge of confidence. I patted both Mikey and my brother on the knee lightly and stood up from the couch walking towards Alex and Geoff.

"Alright Gerard are you ready man?" Alex questioned, while holding down a button, presumingly so Gerard could hear him from the booth.

"Yeah man, let's do it."

As soon as I heard his voice my body froze and my eyes shot up towards the sound booth. I look right at Gerard, and took in his features fully. His small nose, slightly round face and cheekbones. The paleness of his skin looked so delicate and soft and his messy hair seemed to frame his face so perfectly.

Just when I thought I couldn't feel anymore vulnerable, Gerard suddenly looks up from his notebook and stares right at me, right into my eyes. His eyes shoot daggers right to my heart, and not knowing what to do or how to control what I am feeling I begin I hold my breathe for what seems like an eternity. I keep praying he would look away, so I didn't have to feel this uncomfortable vulnerability I feel under his gaze. But he doesn't, he just keeps staring right back at me, as I am unable to tell what he is thinking.

The music starts filling my ears, the sound of the bass, guitars and drums overtake the room, but my senses and my body are still focused on the boy with the black hair in the booth.

Then suddenly, something happens. Gerard slightly smirks at me, and then turns to focus on the notebook in front of him.

And then I hear that voice my brother was so eager to tell me about, a sound so beautiful, so raw and so full of emotion. As soon as I hear the lyrics leave his lips, as soon as I hear what could come out from his mouth I am hit with this sudden realization.


I am a goner.

Notes

Here we go! hope you enjoy the update!

I promise proper interaction between Gerard and Jess will happen in the next chapter. I have a long term goal for this story. It's a story that all started with a dream I had a couple years ago.

Since then I have really tried to develop this and I don't want to rush anything. I want my reader's to try to understand the feelings and the person i want the main character to be and to show the vulnerability of the potential relationship between her and Gerard.

Without making any promises, I really want to see this story be made into multiple books, each story focusing on each era of MCR.

Your kind words, advice and support is always welcome and encouraged. My inbox is always open for questions and comments are always appreciated.


Lots of love,

-J xo