I Hate You, I Love You

My dad was yelling at me through my door. I wasn't yelling back. He was yelling ultimatums and deals, telling me that I need a job or I need to move out, even if that meant the streets. It wasn't like I wasn't trying, I has two interviews and the businesses never called me back. Most of my things were still in boxes from moving back, my car was small, but I could take most of my stuff.

My dad calmed down and stopped yelling at me. I knew he was still outside my door, so I stayed in my room, crying silently on my bed, knees drawn into my chest. I couldnt move. I was paralyzed by fear. Fear that my dad would hear me move and start yelling again.

“You could have had it all, Corbin. But you fucked up, now you are just another fucking freeloader. If your mom wasn't around you would be on the streets,” he slammed his hand against my door, causing me to jump and let out a small sob. I heard him walk down the hallway. Away from me.

I put my head into my knees and cried. I wanted to call Gerard. He would always help me get through dealing with my father. Snot was starting to come out of my nose, it just made me cry more. I felt so helpless. So small.

My back ached and I sat up. I grabbed an old shirt from the floor and wiped my nose and eyes. My phone rang, startling me. The caller ID said Gerard. I went to answer it but it was gone before I could. He must have pocket dialed me. Tears streamed down my face, I needed him and he didn't want to talk to me.

My dad went to bed at 10 o’clock every night. I stayed in my room until then, looking at my phone and crying. I didn't want to call Mikey or Frank, or even Ray. They wouldnt know what to do. Gerard was the only one that knew how to calm me down and distract me, and every time I thought about that, I would cry more. Gerard wasn't here. Not anymore.

I opened one of my boxes with clothes and searched for my comfort sweater. It was near the bottom and when I pulled it out and some dirt fell out of the sleeves. I shook it out and held it an arms length away to look at it. It was a deep forest green with faded words and small tears around the end of the sleeves. It was my favorite sweater because it was Gerard’s.

{still got sand in my sweaters}

I put it on and grabbed my bigger coat, wallet, keys, phone, and headed out the door quietly. It was 10:30 by the time I was in my car, and I knew my dad was already asleep, so I started my car and quickly drove away.

I drove downtown and parked at a local club. I waited and watched people. I was looking for a rich guy with woman around him. It took a good minute, but I finally saw one leave the building and walk to his car, where his posse followed him to. They were all standing around some cars, talking and smoking. My heart was racing. I hadnt done this in so long.

I got out of my car and walked up to the group. I hung back, eavesdropping, waiting for a good moment to pounce. I made my way to the circle and I was laughing quietly with them and trying to seem normal. One guy noticed.

“Hey, who’re you?” he asked, suddenly, the group of eight or so people were looking at me.

“Hey what’s up guys? Im just looking for something,” I said, my voice dropping.

“What you need?” the guy asked.

“Some snow, or Sevenup. Whatever,” I tried acting casual. One of the girls snorted.

“You a cop?” the rich guy asked. I shook my head. I reached into my wallet and pulled out $100 and flashed it at him.

“My money is good, I swear.”

He looked around to make sure no one else was coming, looked at the money, and looked at me. He opened the passenger door to the car he was leaning up against and he gestured at me.

“Get in, Snow White,” he said. I looked at him, mildly scared for my life. I slowly approached the car and slid in. He shut the door gently and I heard him say goodbye to his friends and he got in the car. “Buckle up.”

“Oh, um, is that nec-”

“Yes. You want some snow, Snow White? This is how I do it,” he said, turning on his car. “Don't worry, I will drive you back to your car.” He left the club and took me to the nicer part of town.

“What is your name?” I asked.

“Call me Big D.”

“What does the ‘D’ stand for?”

“D-none of your business. What’s your name?” he was smiling.

“Cory,” my heart was pounding, my breathing was shaky. I could be going to my death right now. On the surface, I didn't care. My dad wanted me dead, so here I was. Making his wish a reality. Big D pulled into a driveway and got out immediately. I was grabbing my things when my door opened and he was standing there, like a gentleman. I didn't know what to think, he was a drug dealer. But could drug dealers be nice?

Not even a minute later, two cars pulled up. My whole body was shaking, this was it, this was how I was going to die, being blinded by their head lights. Big D lightly touched my arm and led me into the house.

He threw his keys in a bowl by the door and slid his shoes off into a pile of shoes. “Should I take my shoes off?” I asked.

“I would appreciate it, but I know how some people can be,” he said. I looked around the living room, all clean. Everything had it's place and if it was out of place, it would be noticed. I took my shoes off as the people from the club entered behind me. “C’mon Cory,” Big D called from across the room.

I quickly walked over to him and followed him down a hallway and downstairs to the basement. He had about twenty marijuana plants under grow lights. On a small table were scales of various sizes, and large cabinets with labels on them. He pointed at a swivel computer chair for me to sit in and I did as I was told. He sat across from me.

“I need to know somethings before I sell to you,” he said, pulling me out of my head, “How old are you?”

“23.”

“Have you ever done this stuff before?”

“Yes,” I said quietly.

“How long ago?” he asked, crossing his hands over his chest.

“When I was 17 and 18.”

“Why did you stop?”

“A friend helped me stop.”

“And why do you want to start up again?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. I looked down. I didn't want to answer. Was he trying to not sell to me?

“None of your business. Do you want my money or not?” I snapped.

“Cory, I know we don't know each other, but I am a different kind of dealer. Especially when it comes to this stuff. I usually only sell this stuff to people that already have a problem with the drug. I will admit, in the dim light at the parking lot, I thought you were already an addict because of how you are dressed,” he let out a small chuckle, “But I got a better look at you, and you cute, I don't want you to ruin-”

“It's a long story,” I said loudly enough to cut him off. “I don't have that friend anymore and I’m hurting. I don't have anyone that cares about me.”

“I doubt that is true. Look, the only way I will sell to you is if you consume on property under my supervision.”

“Because that doesnt sound like an invitation to get raped,” I shot back, sarcastically.

“Tell me,” Big D sat forward, leaning on his elbows on the table with his hands folded infront of him, “where were you going to do it? In your car? In a park? At home, alone? What if something happened to you? I cant risk someone dieing because of me. It will come back to me. This way, I can monitor you, make sure that you are safe.”

I stayed silent, thinking about it because I hadnt thought about where I was going to do it. I was thinking just in my bedroom, and my parents wake up to a dead daughter. I couldnt do that to my mom.

“I can even give you a bedroom to use if you want to be alone, but I will be checking on you periodically.”

“Promise not to rape or murder me?” I asked.

“You have my word,” he raised his right hand. Big D started to weigh out some coke for me, we exchanged money for services and he led me back upstairs. His friends were smoking and drinking in the livingroom. “Did you want that room?” he asked and I nodded. He led me down a different hallway and opened up a door.

We stepped in and he went to the nightstand drawer. The room was huge, king sized bed, and a giant TV on the wall. There was a large desk and bookcase in there as well. Big D returned and handed me the remote.

“I’ll be checking on you every 45 minutes, theres a bathroom behind that door. Please be safe,” he said and left, shutting the door behind him.

{From nights we don't remember}

Big D was holding my hair as I puked into the toilet. I don't know when he came in, I don't remember how many bumps I did. But he was holding my hair and if I wasn't puking, I was crying.

“I’m sorry, I ruined... You didn't deserve some bitch coming up to you in the middle of you having fun with friends, for this,” I babbled to him. He didn't say anything, just held my hair and helped me wipe my face off. He gave me water and crackers. I started to stand up, which alarmed him. “Im fine,” I said. I touched the wall as I walked out of the bathroom.

I went over to the desk and grabbed my baggie. It was almost gone. It was suddenly out of my hands, and Big D was infront of me.

“Thats mine!” I yelled. He only shook his head and pointed to the bed. “No, please, just a small one, then I will go to sleep, I promise. I just need a small one,” I begged, reaching out to him, but he was so far away. “You said you wouldnt rape me,” I cried.

“I’m not going to rape you, fool! You just need to calm down and lay down,” he said, sternly. I climbed into bed and laid down on my back. He sat down on the edge of the bed. “What happened to you, Snow White? Who hurt you?”

“Gerard Way. He took my heart, played with it, and just stomped on it so hard. It hurts so bad,” I sobbed.

“Is this a boyfriend?” he asked.

“This is the best friend that saved me from this last time. We became friends with benefits, and he dumped me so hard. So bad. We went from talking everyday, to never. I cant stand not being around him. He helped me through my dad yelling at me. My dad hates me. I just cant win. No one wants me anymore.”

“I want you, baby girl,” he said and grabbed my hand and pulled me up. “You don't have to be alone anymore. You can live here and be away from all the pain,” he kissed my hand and started to rub his soft hand up my arm. “I can show you pleasure,” he whispered in my ear. His hand traveled to my shoulder and my back. “I’m not hearing a ‘no’,” he smirked, our faces were so close.

I hadnt felt pleasure in so long. “I want another bump,” I whispered. Big D pulled out my baggie and walked over to the desk. He lined one up for me then stood behind me as I did my bump. His hands were traveling down my back to my butt.

“How do you feel, baby girl?” he whispered in my ear and slid his arms around my waist. I felt alive again. I turned around and Big D leaned down and kissed me. I backed him up to the bed, he quickly unbuckled his pants and I helped him pull them off.

He was already bulging in his boxers. He sat down and leaned back. I got on my knees and started to rub his hard dick over his boxers before pulling them down slowly, making his dick pop up in front of my face. I felt so good. I was in charge in the bedroom for once. My mouth made it over his head and he let out a small moan.

“I see why they call you Big D,” I winked at him and he chuckled.

“Just wait until it is inside you Snow White,” he said, seductively. I smiled and spit on his dick, rubbing him and teasing him before putting my lips back on him. While I sucked on his big dick, I rubbed his balls softly, eliciting a loud moan from him. He started to thrust his hips slowly. Big D sat up, grabbed my face and kissed me roughly. He pulled me up to my feet and took my shirt off, grabbing and quickly sucking on my nipples, before taking off my jeans.

Big D pushed me on the bed, with my ass in the air, face into the comforter. He stuck two fingers inside of me, making me moan as he hit my G-spot, my body tensed as pleasure surged through my body.

“Are you ready for my cock, baby girl?” he asked.

“I’m so ready to feel your hard cock inside of me,” I whined back at him. I felt his head at the entrance of my vagina.

I got wetter just from that, and more when he teased me before penetrating me with one hard thrust. I yelped which rapidly turned to moans as he thrust his dick inside of me.

“Oh you are so tight,” he moaned, “Oh it feels so good,” he groaned with pleasure and rammed his cock further into me. I moaned so loud, my fists grabbing and squeezing the blanket. I moaned louder when he spanked me with his large hands. He started to slow down, and pulled out. I felt the bed shift as he positioned himself on his back, penis erect.

I had never ridden anyone before, I knew thats what he wanted. The coke made me so confident that I didn't care. I spit on his cock again, making it wet, and I positioned myself and sat down on him. It was a whole new feeling. He was so deep that it almost hurt.

“Can you take it all, Snow?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. I looked down and I still had about an inch to go. I went up a little, and I hit my G-spot, on accident, and it felt so good that I rode him for a minute so that he was just hitting that spot.

I increased my speed and momentum before attempting to take all of him.

“You are so big,” I moaned.

“You are doing to good, you almost have it all,” he sounded so surprised. I wanted to take all of him, so I slowly slid down the rest of the way, and he slowly moved his hips under me, making me moan. “You feel so good,” he moaned and grabbed my boobs, giving them some squeezes.

I continued to ride him, making myself come over and over, and I wasn't aware of the time, but it seemed to go on forever, but at the same time, I didn't want it to stop. He signaled for me to stop riding him, I got off and he swung me on my back and rammed his dick inside of me, I could feel his balls hit me with every thrust and he rubbed my clit, making my climaxes so much better.

He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “I’m going to come soon, can I come inside of you?” I nodded my head and he responded, “Thats a good girl.”

Big D’s thrusts because faster and harder, hitting my spot repeatedly, my vagina was tightening around his throbbing cock as I felt myself about to orgasm for the final time.

“Oh Cory,” Big D moaned, “I’m going to come inside of your tight pussy,” I moaned as he thrusted, letting the pleasure build up. “Oh Cory, I’m coming for you, oh you’re making me come,” he moaned, throwing his head back, and ramming himself into me one final time.

I let myself release as he did, making my orgasm bigger, knowing that we came at the same time. We were both panting and sweaty, I was overwhelmed with pleasure. It felt like my high was coming to an end, but I wasn't sure. All I knew was that Big D was now laying next to me.

All I knew was that I just had sex with a stranger while on drugs. I rolled over so my back was to Big D and tears silently fell.

{do you miss me like i miss you?}

Notes

I hoped you liked this, I have never really written a sex scene before. I also dont do drugs, and please, dont do drugs!!! (Marijuana is not a drug) and dont have unprotected sex please, its just not good for everyone involved. (Unless you are trying to get pregnant and or you know that you and your partner are clean and other factors just please be safe)

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I am smol potate <3