Chapter 7
Frank’s p.o.v

“Gerard?” I ask, looking at his artwork displayed all about the bed we were sitting on. His art was beyond beautiful, it was truly breath taking. Some of the pictures were quite violent, yet still amazing, and it kind of gave me this emotional feeling, like I'd cry if I stared too long.
“Hmm?” He responds absentmindedly, studying a picture he did. It was girl with a white body and, much like a violin, had stings cover her chest and stomach. There were actually a few of me, witch I had asked about and had resaulted in a lot of blushing and a large awkward silence.
“Can...can I ask you to help me with something?” I question hesitantly, looking down at me hands.
“Yeah, sure. What is it?” He responds, a smile in his kind voice.
“So..y’know what happened to me all all, and I just, I don't want to be afraid anymore. Can you help me..get out of my comfort zone?” I ask, looking nervously up at him. He froze, looking up from the picture, shock evident on his face. It had been about a week since he found out, and I was so comfortable with him and Mikey, it was almost unbelievable. Mikey could even touch me now, just not when I don't know it's him. Bert had been gone all week, only stopping by once to collect his things.
“How exactly do you want me to do that?” He asks slowly, his voice calm.
“Just...agree first and, then i'll just show you, I guess?” I answer nervously. He slowly nods, looking expectantly at me. I grab his wrist before standing up and sitting up back down on the floor.
“Okay...set your hands down on my waist.” I say, looking expectantly at him.He nods before doing so, his hands warm and gentle on me.
“Now further down,” I say, soon feeling them slip down more. I didn't feel the slightest bit of panic. “This feels...natural. Set them on my thighs, like, high up.” I demand confidently, determined to see how far I could go. He look nervously at me, before slowly doing so, It felt...weird, but it didn't make me feel disturbed.
“Take..take my shirt off.” I say quietly, looking certainly at him. His eyes widen before shaking his head.
“Why? Please, Gerard, I need you too. You don't understand...I don't feel him when you touch me, it feels natural, good. I like it. I need to know, okay?” I state, looking him in the eyes. He bites his lips, debating a little before nodding.
“Fine...but the second you're uncomfortable, tell me.” He responds, beginning to move his hands to the hem of my tee shirt. His finger plays with the hem for a second, before slowly beginning to lift it. I feel the cold air hit my body, but it feels nice, not unnatural as it normally had.
My shirt lays next to us, inside out. Gerards eyes study my chest, and I like it. I liked him.
I thought that he had made me not like men, but I still did. And I really like Gerard.
“You're beautiful.” He says bluntly, smiling a little.
“Kiss me.” I say seriously, grabbing his hands.
“What?” He says, his face made up of pure confusion.
“Kiss me.” I repeat, now leaning forward. He does to, and our lips catch roughly. Ut awkward at first, bit soon our lips move in synch. It felt so good, so right. He soon pushes me to the ground, unbelievably gently. He lies on top of me, our tongues tangling together. His hands move to the top of my hand, where my hands lie.
It wasn't until hr grabbed my wrist that I felt him.
“Stop,” I gasp, moving my head away.
“Oh God- Jesus, I am so sorry, Frankie. I didn't mean to, I was just caught up in the moment. Oh God, who even does that, pinning the worst of someone who's been raped.” Gerard say scaredly, pushing himself off me. I just lay there, trying to the get the feeling of his hands of me.
“Frankie?” He asks, looking down at me scaredly.
“I feel him.” I whisper, then feel a tear dribble down my cheek. He buries his head in his hands before letting out a stifled sob/groan. I just like, the feeling making me want to vomit.
I get up after a few minutes, the feeling then beginning to fade. I drag myself over to Gerard, who's looking horrified at his hands. I wrap my arm around his neck, pulling myself onto his lap, making him slip his arms around my waist.
“Frankie, I am so sorry.” He cries out, his voice sounding awfully toured.
“Your fine, Gee. It's okay.” I say calmly, rubbing his back. Hell, he was more torn about it then me.
It takes him a minute to fully calm down, and when he does, I realise the full length of what just happened.
I just made out with Gerard. Gerard, a guy i’d barely known for two weeks, who’d help stop my drug abuse (I hope), a guy close to the age that raped me.
What the hell was I doing? This was insane, letting this guy help me, kiss me even. But...I liked it. I liked what we had. I liked the fact it was completely, indivisibly insane that trusted him more than any one in my own household. I didn't want this to seem insane, because really, it wasn't. It wasn't insane that i was getting better.
I smiled up at this beautiful red head, now taking into account how amazing his lips felt against mine. I leaned into him again, finding his lips. He almost immediately kissed back, making me moan into his mouth. He pulls away after about a minute, smiling at me.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” He states, his eyes lust blown. I grin and kiss him again, gasping at the feeling.
*
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“Gee,” I whine, making grabby hands at him. “I don’t wanna get up.”
“You gotta, Frankie. Your mom said she has something to tell you tonight.” He tells me, smiling gently. I groan and roll over onto my stomach.
“C’mon, get up sugar.” He says, rubbing my back. I roll over and grin at him.
“Only if you call me sugar instead of Frankie from now on.” I demand, making him blush. He mumbles a ‘fine’ and I get up, stretching a little.
But soon, I’m startled by the sound of a door slamming up and shut again, only to be followed by the sound of stomping.
“Mikey must’ve had a bad day,” Gerard says, getting up from the bed. I’m immediately on edge, shaking a little. I don't even know I’m shaking until it gets so bad it blurs my vision. I immediately try to calm myself, but fail miserably. He used to slam doors a lot.
Gerard opens the door, not hesitating to walk out. His footsteps make little ‘padding’ noises on the floor, soon to be followed by a ‘what the fuck’.
I shoot up from the bed when I hear it, because it was not what you’d call an “inside voice”, it was the complete opposite. Yells echo through the house, and I’m sure it’s not Mikey’s voice in the air, it's someone else entirely, someone angry.
I don't listen though, I cover my ears, because fuck, it was really scaring me. He used to yell like that alot, angry and agitated, husky and loud.
Before I know what I’m doing, my feet automatically move, and I know I’m running. I run straight out of the room, straight pass my beautiful redhead, and straight out of the only place I’d ever dare to call home. My feet are completely bare, but it doesn’t affect me to much because I immediately get in my car. Luckily, I’m always ready to pounce like the scared pussy I am, so I am my keys in my pocket. Just as I hear my tires screech out of the parking lot, I catch a flash of fire truck red, but I’m already gone.
I’m gone, and i think the guy who collided into the side of my car at that moment knew it to.
*
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*
Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend
To leave and then
We'll meet again
When both our cars collide.

What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight

Notes

Short? Sorry guys.
Poor Frank though, kinda makes me sad I made him such a fucked character.
Anyway, I love you beauties and thank you all so much for reading and voting on it! I'm so grateful!
xoxMay<3