I'll let you go

Chapter 6
Franks P.o.v

I just needed to forget him. Easy right? Fucking wrong. His face was imprinted on the back of my eyelids, his name burning my throat.
The next couple of days pass i'm a haze. If it wasn’t for Cherry, I swear to god I wouldn’t have moved from my bed. I do everything in a haze, I make breakfast, lunch and dinner, I go to job interviews, i set up the house. I even enroll Cherry in school, even though school is like, 2 months away.
I did anything and everything I could, before I ran out of things to do.
Cherry’s now asleep, after a long day of running around and applying to fifty different jobs. I sit on the living room floor, staring at the blank wall. It’s so fucking white. I should make it colorful. I think i have some paint, some where around here.
I rush to get up, looking for the tubs of paint I know I have. I bought them right before the move, hoping to paint something. I guess now I can.
I climb into the attic, finding several different colors. I grab them all, putting them into a box with paint brushes and take it down stairs.
Cherry actually might not want her living room to look like graffitied alleyway, so I take the stuff to my room instead. I move everything I own to one side of the bedroom and begin to put a sheet down to protect the carpet from paint.
I open all the paint, not paying attention to what the color even is. Before I can stop myself I grab a large paint brush, dip it in grey paint, and make a large line across the wall.I do it over and over again until the entire wall it grey.
I look around in the box for some spray paint. Maybe that’ll look cooler?
I find three different cans, one black, one dark blue, and one white. Maybe this’ll turn out cool.
I start with the dark blue, covering the majority of the wall.
This being the first thing I’ve done when I’m not on auto pilot, when I’m actually thinking, all my emotions come out into the painting i’m doing.
In a way, Gerard is in that painting, and so is my mother, and so is my leaving. Every ounce of pain I’ve felt for the last four years is in this painting on my wall.
When I’m finished I have a big portrait of several night skies. It looks bad ass.
It explains exactly what I’m feeling, because I’ve been in the dark for the past four years. I haven't seen the light, I haven't lived since I left him, since she died, and the sun wouldn’t come out. I was stuck in the dark, never moving, never happy.
But now, i finally can be, I can see the sun. I’ve found the horizon.
*
*
*
I wake up on the floor, a body hovering over me. I can feel dry globs of paint on my body.
“Frank,” A soft voice says, rubbing their hands gently through my hair.“Wake up honey.”
I groan and roll over, but find myself in a warm embrace, unable to move. Who the fuck is hugging me?
I open my eyes, slowly rolling over to face the person. I almost fucking have a heart attack when I see who it is.
“Morning beautiful.” He says, looking down at me lovingly. I sit up slowly, looking at him questioningly.
“What...what are you doing Gerard?” I ask quietly. He smile, rubbing my back.
“I wanted to...talk to you. I needed to see you.” He says, moving his hands to wrap them around me. He embraces me in a hug, my head on his chest.
To say the least, I was fucking confused. The last time I saw him he was kicking me out of his house. Didn't he have a boyfriend?
“Gerard, what's going on? I thought you hated me?” I ask, my voice sounding quite wounded and childish. He hugs me harder, kissing my head.
“I couldn't ever, ever hate you.” He says seriously. I pull back and look at him, melting when I see his warm, loving eyes.
“Well….Go get into the shower, okay? I’m gonna make you breakfast, and then we'll talk.” He says, smiling at me.
“Should I leave then?” I snap my head to the door way, finding Mikey in the doorway.
“Mikey Way! Don’t leave me!” I say, jumping up and hugging him. He grins and hugs me back, chuckling a little.
“Damn Gee, stealing your lover over here. Looks like you have to find a new Frank.” Mikey jokes, patting me on the back.
“I fell for the wrong Way!” I exclaim. I blush when I realize what we both just said, and find myself biting my lip.
“Nah, he’s mine. Besides, even if he wasn’t, I wouldn’t be able to find another guy like him. He’s one in a million.” Gerard says, looking lovingly at me. I blush harder, looking confusedly at Mikey. He shrugs, smirking a little.
“Go get in the shower.” Mikey demands, bumping my hip with his own. I nod and grab my towel off the back of my door and leave the room. I turn on the water and look in the mirror to find I have grey and white paint in my hair. Dammit. There’s paint covering my hands and arms, and it ruined my clothes. Oh well, It was worth it.
I jump under the warm spray after taking my paint covered clothes off. I run my body, getting the majority of the paint off. It takes a long time, but I’m mostly clean from paint when I’m done. I get out of the shower, wrapping the towel around my waist.
For a second I forget Gerard and Mikey are out there, so when i pass my room and go to the kitchen for coffee, I almost fucking die of embarrassment when I find myself being stared at by both Mikey and Gee.
“Woah, those tattoos are fucking awesome.” Mikey announces, studying my body. I had two birds, a small tattoo right above my nipple that said ‘hope’, some on my arms, and ‘search and destroy’ with two guns, the guns being on my back. Of course I had the ones on my hands, and my scorpion, but they had already seen those.
Gerard just stares, his mouth hanging open. I blush even harder, before muttering that I forgot they were here, and rush off to my room. I just put on black sweats and a Iron maiden shirt. I comb my hand through my hair, before sighing and walking from my room. I pause in the doorway of the kitchen, seeing Cherry was now out there. Gerard held here in his arms as he made food. Mikey sits in a chair, smiling at the two.
“Y’know, daddy told me he loved you once.” She says, smiling at him. I can’t find it within myself to care that she just told him that. It’s about time he knew any way.
Gerard looks pleased rather than surprised.
“I love your daddy too. He’s a great man, Cherry, and he tries so hard for you. He loves you a lot.” He says, smiling back at her. I feel a smile spread across my face. Goddamn that man, I fucking love him. Before I can stop myself, I rush into the kitchen and slam my lips against his. It almost hurts at first, but then it’s soft and sweet. He pulls away, grinning at me.
“You're beautiful.” I breathe out, smiling back at him. I am vaguely aware that Cherry is still in his arms, but I ignore that fact.
“Not as beautiful as you.” He whispers, pulling me towards him again. He sets Cherry down, giving us better access to each others bodys.
Soon we have to pull away, as unfortunately humans need air. I gasp for breath as I pull back, putting my head on his chin.
“Go sit down, love, I’m making food.” He says, letting go of me and turning to the stove. I turn to the table, blushing as I scratch my head. Cherry stares at me with a knowing look, as Mikey does the same. Soon Cherry breaks into a grin, jumping onto me.
“Daddy! Gerard loves you! Were gonna be a happy family, and we’ll all live together.” Cherry announces making me blush.
“Uh, Cherry-”
“We probably won’t move into together until after the wedding.” Gerard interrupts me, his face thoughtful. I make a noise of surprise. He just winks at me.
We sit for a few minutes and talk, until Gerard finally finished making breakfast and sets the table. Once everyone settles we all start to eat.
“So,” Mikey starts. “We gotta talk.” I look up worriedly at him, but his expression calms me. He looks pretty happy.
“Okay….You're not pregnant, right Mikey?” I ask playfully, making him glare at me and Gerard snicker.
“Shut up. No I am not, you prick, but you are now in a band.” He says, looking at me happy. I begin to grin, ‘cause I know exactly what he’s talking about. Then I realise I have a child to take care of.
“I can’t.” I say, a lump forming in my throat. Gerard looks startled, as does Mikey. “I need money to care for Cherry. A band can’t get me the kind of money I need for her, and this house.”
“We’ll help,” Gerard immediately says. “We all have jobs aside from the band, and we make a lot of money. You can get a small job, and we’ll pay for the house all together.” He says, smiling at me.
“I can’t ask you to do that Gee.” I sigh, running my hands through my hair.
“Well, then it’s a good thing you're not asking. I’m telling.” Gerard says sassily. Mikey nods along with Gerard, a smile pulling at his lips.
“No. You guys, I’m not letting you do this.” I say firmly, ignoring the impulse to cry. It was a small impulse, but it was still there.
“You don’t really get a say in it Frankie.” Gerard states happily, poking at his pancakes. I sigh, slightly defeated. We’d talk about this later.
We all started eating after that, Gerard occasionally smirking to himself, making me want to punch and kiss him at the same time.
Ego is one helluva drug.
*
*
*
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Well you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
And just stay here lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
Just stay in this moment forever, forever and ever

Notes

Omfg, I gave myself a death hawk and it needs to be fixed really bad.
Help.
XoxMay<3