I'll let you go

Chapter 5
Gerard’s p.o.v

“Gerard, grow the fuck up! We need him in the band, I don’t give a fuck how you feel as of right now.” Mikey says, his expression blank. Were currently in the living room, arguing about, you guessed it, fucking Frank.
“He’s not going to be in this fucking band! My feelings matter too!” I shout, sassily putting my hands on my hips.
“Your feelings stopped fucking mattering to me when you deciding to stop sharing them with me. So, Gerard, I’m not all of a sudden going to give a fuck when you really need it, because at one point I really fucking needed it too. And. You. Weren’t. There.” He yells back at me. What he says stings, and I feel myself wince from the harsh words.
“Whatever. I don’t care anymore.” I say, my voice now low. I walk outside, getting my phone out and calling Gabe. He picks up after the second ring.
“Hey baby.” He greets, a smile in his voice.
“Hey, wanna go do something?” I ask him. I needed to forget Frank’s fucking name and Gabe was gonna help me do it.
“Sure baby. What do you have in mind?” He asks happily.
“Mmm...i was thinking we could go to your house…” I answer, a playful edge in my voice.
“Oh, yeah baby? And do what?” He asks dominantly.
“You tell me, baby.” I respond, giggling a bit.
“I’ll be there in ten.” He says, hanging up before I have a chance to respond. I pull out a cigarette and light it up, placing it between my lips. I sigh, watching for his car.
I didn’t really even like Gabe all that much, he was just a distracted, a fuck. On the nights I thought of Frank, I ran to Gabe and had him fuck me so hard Frank was free from my mind.
He’d always wonder back though, making me need more intimacy from Gabe.
It was wrong, but i really couldn’t help it. I just needed to forget him.
Gabe then pulls up, making me bounce up and rush to the car. I jump in, immediately attaching my lips to his as I do.
“Fuck Gee. Can’t wait to get you home and fuck you so hard you can’t walk.” He breathes, pulling away from my house. I whimper, attaching my lips to his neck.
“Gee, baby, I’m driving.” He says, but doesn’t try to stop me.
“I just want you so bad.” I whine, continuing to kiss his neck. Soon we pull up to his house, rushing out and into the door. As soon as we made it in he picks me up and takes me too the bed, taking his shirt off. I begin to take my clothing off too, until I’m just in my boxers.
“Ready, Gee?” He whispers in my ear. I swear it’s Frank voice though, or at least I want it to be. I nod, laying down as he gets lube. He returns a second later, smirking.
I just wanna forget his name.
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*
“Mmm, you're the best baby.” I lie, smiling at his lust blown eyes. He grins, kissing my neck.
“Want some coffee?” He asks me, getting up groggily. I nod smiling, running my hands through my hair, trying to soothe it down. As I have learned, sex fucked up your hair.
He returns a second later, coffee in hand with a fancy box that looked like it held a necklace.
“Gee?” He asks softly, coming to sit by my side. I feel myself grow panicked, my heart rate accelerating.
“Uh, yes?” I ask, wide eyed. He mistakes my fear for surprise, egging him self on.
“We’ve been together for 2 years now, I think it’s time to take us a little more seriously. Right?” He asks, not waiting for a response before opening the box.
“Gerard, will you move in with me?” He asks, revealing a key painted bright blue and a G in dark blue. My head spins lightly, because I know the answer, I know the answer and it solves everything and makes it a hundred times more complicated.
“Oh, Gabe.” I breathe, looking at him with wide eyes. “No. No, no, no. I don’t love you, oh god, I don’t love you.” He takes a step back as if a pushed him, a surprised look on his face.
“What?” He responds, clear confusion on his face. I quickly get up, pulling on my boxers and jeans, not bothering with anything else.
“I can’t. If I moved in with you, it’d be like lying and saying I love you. I don’t.” I answer, grabbing my phone.
“I’m so sorry I lied to you for this long, I truly am. Goodbye Gabe.” I whisper, moving past him and to the door, slipping my shoes on. I call Mikey, preparing myself for what I was about to do.
“Hello?” He answers, making me sigh in relief.
“Mikey, please, I need you. Please come pick me up.” I tell him, beginning to walk down the street.
“Gerard, I don't know what the fuck you're pulling right now-”
“I’m not pulling anything Mikey. I’m ready to talk.” I say, cutting him off. He’s quiet for a second.
“Okay.” He answers hesitantly.
“I’m outside-”
“I know where you are. See you in a few.” He answers, hanging up. I keep walking, finally feeling a rush of emotions through my body. Soon, tears blur my eyes and I’m stumbling all over the sidewalk, so I just sit down, putting my head in my hands.
I know exactly why I said no. I know it just changed fycking everything.
Soon a car pulls up next to me and I hear a door open and shut. Footsteps approach me, and i feel two arms wrap around me. I immediately know it’s Mikey from the way he smells and walks.
“Gee,” He asks hesitantly. “What’s wrong? What happened?” I lift my head a little, looking at his worried face. I open my mouth, ready to let all my secrets spill out.
“He...he asked me to move in with him, and I said no, and I’m scared that I made the wrong choice-”
“Gerard slow down! Why did you say no?” Mikey asks calmly. Here we go.
“I-i…don't love him. I love Frank.” I answer, my voice now calm.
And all the walls I had built up to protect myself, after four years of silence, the walls then crashed down, leaving me vulnerable.
Vulnerable and in love.
*
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A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
All the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams

Notes

Ughhh, short chapter but Im cramming for a history test tomorrow so, um, deal with it ig?
MUHHHHHHGHG
xoxMay<3