I'll let you go

Chapter 7
Frank’s p.o.v
(Two days latter.)

“I can’t get out of here, I’m at band practice. Cathy, you have a job, you need to do it.” I say angrily into the phone. My baby sitter was trying to fucking bail.
“With all due respect sir, I need to be somewhere-”
“Nope! You don’t! You need to be with my kid. End of story.” I respond, snapping my phone shut. I look up to find the guys staring at me, sympathy on each of their faces.
“Problems with the baby sitter, baby?” Gerard asks, coming to sit next to me. I sat cross legged on the edge of the stage with Pansey laid in my lap.
“Yes.” I say simply, leaning against him. He kisses my temple and I hear Ray ‘aww’ behind us.
“I’m sorry, love.” He says, wrapping his arms around me. I shrug and lean into his touch, sighing as he kisses my temple again. His phone goes off again. It’s been ringing nonstop, but Gerard never answers it.
“Gee, pick up your phone.” I tell him. He looks at me and shakes his head, ignoring my demand. I raise my eyebrows and snatch the phone out of his pocket.
“Frankie, no! Don’t-”
Before he can finish I answer the phone. I’m meant with the sound of sobs and what I assume to be the sound of traffic.
“Gerard, I love you, what did I do? I’ll fix it! I’m sorry baby.” Whines come through the phone, each one making my stomach hurt more and more.
“Who-who is this?” I ask, my voice sounding choked. The sobs stop and soon turn to anger, making him start yelling.
“Who the fuck is this?! Where’s Gerard?! Are you sleeping with him?!” He shouts, his voice dripping with venom.
“Shut the fuck up, dude! Whoever the fuck you are, you need to get rid of Gee’s number. I don’t give a fuck about who you are to him, I wouldn’t give a fuck if you were pregnant with his baby. Don’t fucking call again. Next time you too, i’ll fucking find you and kick your ass.” I snarl into the phone. I’m now standing, my fist clenched at my side as the other one clutches the phone angrily.
“I’ll do you one better, I’m out fucking side. See you in a minute.” He says, then hangs up. Well fuck. I look up at Gerard to see he has a horrified expression on his face. His hands are raised up in such a way that you’d think he was trying to protect himself.
I’m not angry at him though. Why would I be? It’s been 4 years, It’s not like I didn’t expect him to move one.
“Frankie, I’m sorry-”
“For what Gerard? You didn't do anything wrong. You had a life without me, I understand that.” I say, shaking my head. He looks surprised as I take a step towards him and hug him. He shakes slightly, but I just hold him tighter and kiss his cheek.
Just then, the doors are thrown open, and in steps an angry (fairly attractive) looking guy. His face was very evident he had been crying, yet it made him look even more attractive. I didn’t trust pretty cryers. Obviously the guys I just talked to.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” He shouts, quickly walking to the stage. He climbs up on it, but stops there.
“Gabe, please leave.” Gerard beggs, sounding quite desperate.
“No! Who the fuck is this guy? What are you with him?! We were doing so good Gerard, two years! We were together for two years!” He shouts, throwing his hands up dramatically. His words hit me like a punch to the stomach, making me look at Gerard. His eyes are desperate and pleading, but I’m really not angry.
“You need to leave.” I say sternly, looking him dead in the eyes. He scoffs, ad shakes his head.
“Who even the fuck are you?” Gabe asks, rolling his eyes.
“I’m the love of Gerards life, something you’ll never be. So. Go. The. Fuck. Away.” I say, holding Gerard closer.
The doors then open again, revealing, oh joy, my babysitter and Cherry.
“What are you doing here? You have a job Cathy, do it!” I say, looking at Cathy.
“I need to be somewhere. Here’s your kid.” She says simply, then turning around and leaving. Cherry runs up to me, hugging my legs tightly.
“You have a kid? A fucking kid?” Gabe yells, throwing his hands up again.
“Yep. Gerard’s kid too now, I guess. You can come to the wedding.” I say, my anger now dropping because Cherry was there.
“Where the fuck is here mom? This isn’t a place for a kid, you dumb ass.” Gabe responded, looking at me smugly.
“Number fucking one, do not tell me how to parent my kid. Number fucking two, I had a baby sitter, as you can see, you fuck tard. And number fucking three, her mom is dead.” I say, my voice saying like I was trying not to loose my temper. Cherry looks up at me confusedly, a questioning look in her eyes.
“Who’s mom? What’s dead?” She asks, her face made up of confusion. I sigh and crouch down to her level.
“Cherry, I need you to go behind that curtain and cover you ears, okay?” I say nicely, smiling at her. She nods and skips away, not hesitating a second.
“Leave now, or I swear to god I will make you.” I say, pointing to the door. Suddenly he lunges at me, but I was prepared.
Just as he’s about to reach me, my fist connects with his face, making a satisfying cracking noise. He falls to the floor, looking at me dumbly from the ground. I grab the collar of his shirt and drag him down the stairs, the whole time him scrabbling, trying to get me off him. I ignore him though, and take him to the double doors. I leave him there, deciding to be gracious enough to not throw him outside.
I walk back to the stage and don't look back at him until i hear the doors open and shut.
I don’t look up at Gerard, or anyone else as I grab my guitar.
“Let's rehearse, I guess.” I say, looking at the lyric sheet Gerard had given me.
I feel two arms wrap tightly around my waist, and a kiss pressed to my neck.
“I’m sorry about that baby.” Gee whispers, holding me tightly.
“Don’t be. I’m sorry I had to get physical with him.” I whisper back, leaning my head onto hi shoulder as he kisses my neck, making me want to moan.
“I’m not. You looked hot.” He says in between kisses.
Cherry then decides to reveal herself from the stage curtains, a scared look on her face.
“Daddy y-you hit him.” She says, her voice scared. I take a step towards her, but she immediately backs away.
“I-I’m sorry Cherry. You want a hug?” i ask, not really knowing what else to do. She shakes her head, running over to Gee.
Is...is she scared of me?
She cries into Gerards chest as he picks her up, leaving me with a horrified, sad expression on my face.
Gerard looks at me with a mix of sadness and sympathy on his face.
“We...should call it a day.” Bob says, smiling a little, trying to lighten the mood.
“Why don’t we go out for ice cream?” Gerard asks lightly, smiling. He seemed a little shook, as I think we all were, but him the most. I really wanted to comfort him, but he had Cherry and I didn’t want want to scare her anymore then she already was…
“Okay,” I breathe our, beginning to move. I grab my guitar and put it back into it’s case. The guys pack up too, and we all pile into our cars. Gerard and Mikey drove with me because they had been at my house a lot the past two days.
I get into the driver's seat, Gerard next to me, and Mikey and Cherry in the back,
“Gerard, do you have a cigarette?” I ask, starting up the car, He frowns, but pulls a pack of marlboro reds from his pocket.
“I didn’t think you smoked.” Gerard says, lighting up the cigarette and handing it to me.
“I don’t.” I respond, taking the cigarette from him. I inhale deeply, surprised when I don’t cough up my guts. Of course, I had smoked before, but never really picked up the habit.
I follow Bob and Ray to the ice cream shop in ours cars, trying to ignore the awkward silence that fills the car.
We finally pull up to a shop in the middle of town, ending the silence in the car. I rush to get out to get Cherry, who's on the other side of the car, but Gee gets there first.
I stare blankly at the two of them, watching as they go inside together.
“Y’know, he really loves her.” Mikey says. I forgot he had been in the car, so I jump slightly.
“Oh-yeah. She loves him too.” I say thoughtfully, nodding. He opens his mouth, but then snaps it shut. He starts to walk past me, but I stop him.
“Wait- tell me. You were about to say something.” I say, confusion evident on my face. He looks as if he’s debating on something, before he starts to talk.
“I need to talk to you later. Not now, though, but soon.” He answers, now walking past him. I sigh, but nod. He goes inside as I finish my cigarette, watching as the sun begins to set.
Soon I finish it, flicking it on the ground before walking out. Everyone sits at a table in the back, talking to each other happily.
I felt like such an inconvenience as I stood there, watching everyone I loved be happy without noticing I’m gone. I felt like I could leave again and leave everyone- Cherry included- and not come back, because no one would notice.
Gerard though, wipes that thought away as soon as he looks up at me. He grins and I melt into his happy pools of hazel he calls eyes. He gently grabs Cherry and outs her down, off his lap and makes his way over to me. Before I can talk he grabs he roughly, and smaskes his lips to mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, gripping his shirt tightly. He pulls away slightly, to look me in the eye.
“Frank, you are so fucking beautiful. I need you so much, so fucking badly. I will always need you baby,” He says, holding me tightly.
To anyone else, that would have seemed random. BUt really, I knew he had been dying to say that, because I had been dying to say it to. I was in fucking love with Gerard, and every single moment I was with him I wanted to tell him how much he meant to me. I wanted to kiss all the pain away from his beautiful body, and I wanted to protect him from the world. I would give him my all, even if it meant a grain of rice to him.
That's just what you do when you love some body, you out all your trust in them, knowing it could all collapse in a second.
Love was scary, but being alone was scarier.
*
*
*
Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around

Notes

Is any one still reading??
DX