Holding On To You

“Read pages 145—149 in the textbook and answer the questions on the worksheet I gave you and-.” The math teacher, Mr. Ammond, is cut off by the lunch bell.

Fuck Mondays… The weekend was uneventful. I got a break from Gerard, yay!
I have actually managed to hide from Gerard so far today and I intend to keep it that way, so disregarding his request to meet him under the bleachers at lunch, I scurry to the girls bathroom, avoiding the prying looks that I receive for my still not healed beat up face. I’m wearing a long sleeved jacket so nobody can see my cuts. I can’t remember the last time I wore something short sleeved.

No longer than two minutes pass, before the bubbly voices of some cheerleaders enter the room and talk while reapplying their make-up.

“Ethan said that? Oh my god!” I recognize the high pitched voice of Chelsea. She called me a whore in English today.

“I know!” Layanna…the BFF.

“But he’s such a babe, that sucks.”

“You know,” its Patricia now. God, what an awful name. “You don’t have to look in their eyes when you’re fucking…you can just turn over or something…”

“Patricia!” The other two girls screech.

“What? I’m just saying. Ethan’s hot and he’s into you. Just ignore what he said about…wait, what did he say?”

“That he agrees with Justin Bieber, rape happens for a reason.” Layanna provides.

“Well, it does, doesn’t it?” Patricia questions.

There is a silence.

“Well, whatever. He wants to fuck you.” Chelsea’s dumb advice is like nails on a chalkboard. Holy fuck, these girls have more problems than me.

“Speaking of hot guys…I hear Gerard is single again.” Patricia says
.
“Yeah, I know.” Chelsea replies. “The whole school knows. But, I know something else…”

“What?!” Layanna whines.

“Well, when I was comforting Eliza yesterday morning she said that he broke up with her. Apparently he mentioned something about a different girl.”

“Oh my god! He’s cheating on her!” Layanna exclaims. This is new news to me. I wonder who the other girl is. Curiosity takes over my mind and something else…why do I feel so hot and bothered?

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Who’s the other girl?” Patricia asks.

“I don’t know, I don’t think Eliza knew either. She said that when she asked he said that she was quiet and she wouldn’t know her.”

“Hmmm,” Patricia hums. “Who does Gerard hang out with that’s quiet?”

“Well, there’s the whole cheer squad, but, none of us are quiet…” Chelsea thinks.
“What about that girl, what’s her name…?” Layanna wonders.

“Oh!” Chelsea bursts out, “You mean Lindsey! The stupid slut that he torments.” Wait what! No, no, no. Gerard doesn’t like me, and he definitely wouldn’t break up with the captain of the cheerleaders, Eliza, for me. He hates me…

“Yes! Her. Could it be her?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Patricia answers. “She’s such a fuck-up though, why would he want her?”

“I don’t know,” Chelsea says, “But I do know something. Even if Gerard wants her, I want Gerard and I won’t go down without a fight.”

“Hey!” Patricia yells. “I want him too!”

“Let the best girl win…"Layanna laughs. They giggle and start to talk again, but I can’t focus. What does this mean? Gerard doesn’t like me, I know it. Then why did he break up with a perfectly good girl? It’s probably someone else nobody knows about… Ugh! Why do I keep getting so hot and annoyed?

Ring! Ring! Ring!

Great, I didn’t even get to work on my drawings, stupid thoughts…

~

I hurry out the doors and away from the flow of students leaving. When I’m five minutes away I start to calm down. I should go downtown today, stay away from home because of my dad. God, my dad… I shiver with fear at the thought of him, I didn’t see him at all this weekend and I’d love to keep it that way.

The brisk, cold air of December seeps into my bones. I should have worn something warmer than my classic ripped tights and short skirt. Let’s be real though, like that’s ever going to happen.

The honk of a horn draws me from my thoughts and I raise my head to see who it is. Oh shit.
Driving slowly beside me is none other than Gerard in a brand new red Dodge Ram truck. I look down and I speed up my walking. When I turn the corner down an abandoned side street, I think I’m safe but Gerard’s car pulls in behind me. I’m running now, but I hear him park and get out to chase me. I dart down an alley and huddle behind a dumpster. It stinks of rotten eggs and other grossness. His footsteps grow nearer. Run! My mind shouts and I take off at a sprint away from him.

Slam! Something grabs me forcefully and knocks me against the wall.

When I open my eyes I see Gerard, panting, right in front of me. He’s pressed his hips on mine and he’s so close he’s crowding me. His eyes are wide, but not filled with their usual devilish glint. His pretty hazel eyes search my face. Finally, I can’t take it.

I don’t mean to say something mean but it just comes out, “How’s the girlfriend, Gerard?”

“You bitch.” He growls. I automatically flinch, but after a few seconds I realize he’s not hitting me. He just stares at me angrily.

I taunt him again. God, why am I so self-destructive? “You know, your relationships are all the rage at school right now. I heard you left Eliza for some quiet girl. So, who is it?”

“Where did you hear that?” He demands, seeming very concerned.

“Oh, you know just the famously awesome Chelsea, Layanna and Patricia.” I say sassily with a flick of hair. “So, who is it?”

He snaps, grabbing my hips and pushing me towards the other wall. I crash against it. I slowly turn around to face him and stubbornly spit on his shoes. “What do you want, Gerard? Are you going to beat me? Just get it over with.”

“No!” He shouts. “Just…shut up!”

“Fuck, Gerard. Fine.”

He watches me, eyes skipping over my body. I feel paper thin and see through. His brows are knit together in concentration. He seems to be in deep thought, like his brain is having a civil war.

“Gerard…” I cautiously ask.

“Ugh, just…shut up!!!” He lurches forward and I prepare myself for a blow. When is doesn’t come I look to see he’s harshly punched the wall of the alley.

“Fuck!” He yells out and stumbles away clutching his fist.

He didn’t hit me…why? He’s never not hit me.

I watch in shock as he whimpers from the pain, and then something propels me forward and suddenly I’m there taking his bloody fist into my hands. I use my sweater sleeve to wipe away the blood.

“Why the fuck did you do that? Fuck, you’re so stupid. What’s going on?” I question. Why am I being so caring?

He lets me clean it as much as I can, before answering. “I don’t know, I just…didn’t want to hurt you.” When he looks up into my eyes, I see they are filled with hope. It’s only a flash though before he shakes his head, pulls his fist away from me and says sharply. “Fuck you.” He hand comes out and slaps me hard across the face. “I left Eliza cause she was a bitch and wouldn’t put out.”

I gasp from the slap, but recover. He’s fucking angering me right now. “No, fuck you. I know that’s not true, everyone knows Eliza’s the school slut, you’re fucking lying.”
His hand snakes around my throat and squeezes. “Shut the fuck up, you whore. You’re the school slut. How many boys have fucked your tight ass, huh? Probably the whole school. Maybe I should help myself…”

“No!” I choke out.

He grins only slightly before releasing my neck. I think he’s going to hit me again, but instead he just grabs my hair and whispers hotly in my ear. “Come to school early tomorrow, or else.” And then he’s gone, running back down the alley to his car.

What the fuck just happened?

Notes

Heya! I'm back and its WEDNESDAY! Here is chapter 3, its kinda short, sorry...
Yours,
writing2savelives