On The Outside Looking In
Falling Into History
Mom’s emotional state wasn’t improving. Bill had stayed at our house almost every single night this week. Joey had returned to school, but whilst Mom was in this state, I wasn’t going back. I was worried; she barely got out of bed, she hardly ate, she was catatonic. There wasn’t much I could do, Bill watched over her, slept by her side, and I checked in every few hours.
Otherwise, I’d stayed cooped up in my room, fully throwing myself into World of Warcraft until my overseas friends logged off and there was nobody else to play with. I was still relatively new to the game, preferring to just explore Azeroth and take in the sights then try and grind levels and do raids for hours on end.
I switched off my computer after several hours of gameplay and flopped down on my bed. I cuddled my Pink Yoshi plushie, staring at the roof. My entire room was very much that of a weeby gamer girl. Wall to wall Anime figurines, particularly Sailor Moon, Madoka, Cardcaptor Sakura and the like – I had a deep love of Magical Girls. A small pile of stuffed My Little Pony characters took up one corner of my room, and tons of The Legend Of Zelda collectables and memorabilia sat upon shelves all over my room.
I turned on my side and spotted my guitar leaning against the wall. It was a Fender Newporter Electric-Acoustic, Avril Lavigne’s signature model. Throwing Yoshi to the side, I walked over and picked up the guitar, before settling back down on the edge of my bed. In times of trouble, music was probably my biggest escape. I began to strum the tune to a song I had really related to these past few days.
Falling Into History – Avril Lavigne
“Don't matter what people say, I never did believe them, I know, I know they know everything. I’ll be alright by myself, and no one's gonna tell me I'm defined, confined by love. Now our days seem strange. I guess my heart was bound to change…
I fell out, out of you and me, you're fading from view, and you're falling into history. I fell out, out of you and me, you're fading from view, and you're falling into history…
I never thought that I'd say, that I don't really miss you, I lived, I breathed your breath through me. Time has a way of passing by, until I don't remember why or how to hurt for you. Love's pain has gone somewhere, and I'm finally hanging it there…
I fell out, out of you and me, you're fading from view, and you're falling into history. I fell out, out of you and me, you're fading from view, and you're falling into history…”
Avril Lavigne had been my inspiration to pick up a guitar in the first place, and many of the first songs I learned had been hers. I wasn’t the greatest singer, my voice was kinda raspy. I felt more comfortable with a guitar in my hands, but the lack of vocalist friends meant I had to sing everything myself. I changed tuning and started playing something a little more aggressive, by my favourite band; Blindside.
“Words so secure screaming like an alarm, are you trying to wake me up? Now what was that you were trying to pull, is it my arm? I do believe you're trying to wake me up.
Now could it be maybe, it's not me sleeping? Could it be maybe you awakening. Now could it be maybe, it's not me sleeping? Could it be maybe you awakening.
Sleep this time tonight, sleepwalk in the light, sleep this time tonight, sleepwalk out of sight-”
My door opened, it was Bill. “Arri, you think maybe you could ease up on the growling? Your mother’s trying to sleep, it’s been a rough few days.”
“It’s been a rough few days for all of us, Bill.” There was more snark in my voice than I’d intended.
“You just lost your father, so I’ll let the attitude slide.” He frowned. “But please, do keep it down.”
He shut the door and I got up from where I sat, placing my guitar back on its stand. I pulled back my covers and got into bed, flicking on the TV. I was nowhere near ready to fall asleep, so I plugged in my external hard drive and streamed Sailor Moon Crystal for a few hours. Until my eyelids grew heavy and I drifted off into a peaceful sleep…
It's a little bit short, it's moving along, though. This is filler, there's more to come. Time to switch to Joey's POV and bring them closer to moving to Newark. :)
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