On The Outside Looking In
If You Took The Time To Notice Me
The grounds of Newark High were in chaos as usual. Sean Walters and Danica Kane furiously made out on the bonnet of his car while Sean’s skater buddies lit every bin in the near vicinity on fire. A bunch of freshmen who thought they were really edgy darted about, covering teacher’s cars with toilet paper.
Just another typical morning
But then the grounds went quiet, so quiet you could only hear the rustling of leaves and birds chirping. I looked up from my phone to see an unfamiliar girl walk across the lawn. She had long, platinum blonde hair, childish looks and wore a grey beanie, plain pink t-shirt and blue jeans. Some very old white Vans were just visible beneath the flared legs. All of her clothes had a worn look about them, as though they had been thrifted.
She adjusted the straps of her backpack and kept her head down, clearly aware of every pair of eyes watching her. As she passed through the archway that led into the administration building, I saw Gerard Way look up and smile at her, and mouth something that looked like “Hi.” And then she was gone, disappearing into the office.
My eyes caught sight of a lion’s mane of teased, poofy black hair and I straightened my school tie by habit. Admiring the figure’s long, slender legs peeping out from under her red and blue tartan school skirt. She’d opted for the woollen navy blue V-neck sweater over our typical school blazers today, and my eyes roamed the perfect curve in her waist, longing to wrap my arms around it.
I’d been crushing on Jessica LaTovey since Freshmen year. All she’d done was sing The End of Heartache by Killswitch Engage at our mid-year rewards concert - which all the music students took part in - and I was sold. She had a voice like Cristina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil and I was positively mesmerized.
She took a seat next to Gerard Way on the administration building steps. My heart fell into my stomach as I watched them kiss, watched her laugh and smile as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She was too good for him, she was a dark angel and he was a slimeball.
I had no idea what she saw in the guy; his long black hair was always greasy, his eyes forever looking tired and dead with the red eyeshadow he insisted on smudging around them every day. His grey school pants looked worn to shit, sagging around his legs and his blazer had seen better days. His white button-down wasn’t even white anymore, but a pale yellow. The first few buttons of it were undone and his tie sagged at chest level. And he wore the same stupid blood red Doc Martens every day, probably about the only decent clothing item he owned.
I was pulled from my thoughts as the bell rang for the first lesson of the day…
I walked into English to find the new girl was in my class, but I had no interest in befriending her. She looked up as I passed and I scowled at her, making her quickly look back down again. I took my seat in the very back corner and flipped open my sketch book, scrawling away at a picture of a tortured soul, or ghoul; I hadn’t quite decided yet.
Jessica walked in and took her seat, right in the front row of the classroom, just a few rows ahead of mine. Nobody ever sat on this side except for us two, so I had the perfect view. I flipped to a clean page; sketching in the outlines of her hair, the chair she sat on, those gorgeous legs that dangled below it.
She drove me crazy. Thank god I wasn’t much of a talker, if I had any friends I had no doubt I would drive them insane talking about her. She was all I thought about, I couldn’t even fucking concentrate in class because my eyes were forever glued to her.
Jeezus, get a life, Sullivan…
Recess came and went; I ate my food on the grass alone, under my favourite tree.
And then it was time for Music, the only lesson I didn’t hate. I passed Slimeball Gerard on my way into the room, sitting in a corner, a stupid pout on his face as he read a Hellboy comic. To the back of the room, a blonde boy with dreadlocks was beating the ever-living Christ out of the drum kit.
Miss Lynch entered the room, her shaggy blonde hair contrasting against the all-black outfit she wore. She didn’t look like a teacher; her face was much too young, you’d have no idea if you saw her on the street. She was dressed in a Metallica t-shirt and tight black jeans with rips all down the legs, and black steel caps.
“All right you lot, settle down, NATHAN GIVE THE FUCKIN DRUMS A REST WILL YA?!” she yelled.
“Sorry!” he replied, blushing.
“So ya should be, now, apparently we got a new student in our class today, where are ya Jaqualine?” she said.
“Here, and if it’s okay, I’d rather you called me Jackie” she replied, biting her lip.
“Sorry sweetheart, I’m Casey Lynch, that’s Miss Lynch to you and the other kids, so you’re a singer are ya Jackie?” she asked her.
“Oh, uh, yeah, I am”
“Well, let’s see what ya got hey? Class, let’s welcome Jackster here with “Pressure”
I smiled, playing that song meant I got to play Bass. I was usually assigned to piano, or rather, keyboard, as nobody else in the class played it, but I played Bass when it wasn’t required. I pulled my beautiful Schecter Omen 5 out of its bag and tuned it quickly.
“One, Two, One, Two, Three, Four!” Miss Lynch counted in, and the class began to play.
Pressure - Paramore
That Jackie girl was singing, bummer, I preferred when Jessica sang. Instead, I tossed my hair out of my face and caught Jessica’s eye from across the room. I smirked and grooved along and made stupid faces as I played, making her laugh. It’s not like I had to worry about Gerard catching me, he had his nose buried in his fucking comic book. My heart almost stopped when I saw Jess smile, at Me.
Playing Bass was the only time I felt like a true badass, the only time I didn’t shy away from the world. I felt like a god with a Bass in my hands. One day I hoped I could play to more than just a classroom full of fellow Music students. I needed to be in a band, I needed to be like my idol Tomas Naslund. From my favourite band, the greatest band in the fucking world: Blindside…
Lunchtime saw me knocked back down to earth as I took up my place under the sycamore tree once again. The faint glimmer of sunlight that had managed to peep through the clouds shone down through the branches overhead, and I ate my lunch, watching Jessica’s group from afar. Jackie was sitting with them now, the boys were yelling at each other, and she and Jessica were laughing at them.
Gerard approached them, and Jessica immediately leapt up and into his arms, my stomach twisted as I watched them share a heated kiss. Burning with jealousy as those tiny arms snaked around his neck, Gerard kissed her nose when they broke apart and she smiled. She kept her arms around him, one hand on his chest as she spoke to Jackie.
That should be me she has her arms around, not him…
Okay, the first time around, I fucking HATED Korey Sullivan, he was a selfish, bratty little asshole. But this time, I'm able to get inside his head and try to understand why he is the way he is. And now? I love the guy, I think he's adorable and misunderstood. I can't wait to watch his character develop all over again. I hope you'll all stick around for ride, too. :)
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