Bookworms Anonymous

Frank woke up wrapped up in the comfort of Gerard’s everything. His scent, his warmth, his stupid cold feet pressing into his calfs slightly. He also woke up to Gerard’s bedroom door groaning open and coming to a slight halt. He froze in that moment. Not physically, but in his mind, he stopped thinking and his heart battered against Gerard’s chest and in that moment he was so happy Gerard was a deep sleeper. Frank turned around and sat up not yet looking at the door praying that it was Mikey, or Kris or a zombie or the girl from the ring, but it wasn’t it was Gerard’s Dad.

‘Good Morning Frank.’ He said quietly so that it was only shared between the two. Frank smiled awkwardly his heart dropping slightly in relief that it wasn’t Donna.

‘I am sorry. Me and G we shouldn't have and I..’ Donald laughed at Franks mumblings.

‘Son, Gerard is 23 years old he is an adult and so are you. As long as you make him happy I don’t care about your sex, race, ability or even if you support the Giants or the Jets. As long as you make my son happy then I really don’t mind who you are. And I appreciate the fact you are both still clothed.’ Frank laughed a little before climbing out of Gerard's bed and walking over to the older man. He hugged him tightly. He smelled the same as G like coffee and cologne, but he lacked G’s painted smothered scent and his ‘I haven’t showered in three days’ aura. The man squeezed back tightly before releasing the young boy.

‘I love Gerard so much that my heart hurts when I’m not with him. I love him so much my body aches when I see him cry. I love your son with everything I have and I know today is going to be hard for him. He has to tell her.’ Donald nodded solemnly before smiling again suddenly and taking a deep breath.

‘Everything happens for a reason, son. Donna will be okay. I’ll make sure of it as long as you make sure he is okay.’ Donald nodded towards his quietly snoring son and Frank turned around to look at him. He smiled feeling G’s dad place a supportive hand on his shoulder and squeezing it slightly.

Breakfast was strange, but a well-oiled plan of military procedure; it was also much better than dinner. Gerard sat across from Frank the entire time shooting him sly smiles and playing a very risky game of footsy.
’So, boys, what are you up to today?’ Donna mumbled after swallowing down a fork full of pancakes. Gerard raised an eyebrow slightly chewing on bacon thoughtfully so that Mikey would have to answer for them.

’Thought we’d hit all the old spots, the mall, the record store and you know just hang out.’ Mikey mumbled in his monotone drone of a voice.

‘’Yeah.’ Gerard nodded swallowing down some bacon before smiling over at Frank. ‘Just the boys.’ Frank blushed slightly into his coffee.

‘Oh, well make sure you’re all back for dinner. We are going to that little Italian place downtown. Frank do you want some more pancakes?’ She chirped across at him when spotting his empty plate. He shook his head and smiled up at the woman.

‘No, I’m fine Mrs. Way. Thank you.’ Gerard winked across at him causing Frank to stumble slightly getting caught up in his words.

’Show me New Jersey, Gerard!' Frank called out as he turned around and throwing his arms in the air in a joyous fashion causing Mikey to raise any eyebrow. They were walking to Mikey’s car when Frank had this outburst.

'You're from NJ, Frank!' Gerard groaned opening Mikey’s car door and bundling himself into the tiny death trap cringing at the smell. The rain was smashing into the fragile glass of the old rusty car and G feared the rain pellets would break the glass and fill the car with acidic rain drops. Frank jumped into the back of the car taking his time not worrying about getting wet or the fact that one of the back wheels was falling off.

‘God, I haven’t driven this thing in years.’ Mikey mumbled to himself as he opened the door into the car.

'I'm trying to be romantic!' He called gripping onto Gerard seat and pulling himself forward so he could be close to him. After being trapped under the glare of Mikey and G’s mom Frank couldn’t wait to be alone with him. Mikey coughed slightly as he slouched into his well-molded seat clicking the car into action. Kind of alone. Frank moved back into his seat and strapped his belt tightly around his bumbling chest.

'Honestly, it's like you live in a John Green Book!' Gerard groaned as the trickling old machine flew down the little suburban streets of New Jersey narrowly missing mailboxes, other cars and the old lady who was just trying to cross the road. Gerard closed hisses tightly hoping to god this wasn’t how he died.

'Oh! I love John Green!' Frank smirked looking out the window trying not to illustrate how scared he was and try not to notice that Mikey was going double the speed limit.

‘You, know,’ Mikey piped ups turning a corner abruptly. ‘Looking at the two of you. You'd think G was the woman. I mean he is very feminine looking.’ For a second G was no longer fearing for his safety but insulted by his brother's words. ‘But after what you just said I'm starting to doubt myself!' He suddenly stopped causing Gerard to squeal slightly before pressing his head against the dashboard and breathing heavily. Frank leaned over the front seat smiling at Mikey slightly before tapping Gerard on the shoulder. G looked up at them both before replying to Mikey.

'Mikes. We are both men. There are no women in the relationship. That's the point of being gay. But I will agree with you because sometimes I think I'm dating a teenage girl.' Gerard opened the car door and looked around at the old shopping mall where he spent most of his youth. Mikey and Frank followed him and got out of the car.

'You know what? I think I'm going to show myself NJ.' Frank said before storming off slightly before being quickly turned around by Gerard.

‘Frank.’ He started quietly placing both of his hands on his cheeks. ‘Can I kiss you?’ But before he could answer him Gerard kissed Frank quickly on the lips. ‘I’ve been wanting to that all day.’ Frank giggled slightly before pushing him off of him when he noticed Mikey look awfully awkward standing about four meters from them. ‘I’ll show you NJ, Frankie.’ Gerard muttered pulling him towards the mall, skipping almost, causing Frank to giggle uncontrollably. Mikey moped behind them kicking up some of the gravel as they walked towards the old mall.

The mall wasn’t busy, but it still seemed to bustle with people weaving in and out of the little stores and chatting happily. Gerard was smiling fondly at everything, it doesn’t matter that he lived in the best city in the world he still missed New Jersey, he was gripping Franks hand tightly with no fear of being caught. Frank giggled behind him listening to him rambling on about stories from his childhood. Mikey still moped behind the couple but he couldn’t help but smirk at how happy the two seemed. Suddenly they turned a corner to the record store where Gerard squealed gleefully before tumbling into the shop without a moment of consideration. Frank has been to the mall a million times, but he guesses it was more exciting for Gee because he’d been away for a while.

‘Gerard Way?’ A voice mumbled from behind the counter. Frank looked around at the little place it was nothing compared to Ray’s dad's store, but it was a record store and that all that mattered so Frank began to flick through a box on vinyl. When he thought back he can remember coming in here once or twice. Gerard smiled moving up the other end of the store; followed by Mikey.

‘Bob Bryar, the one and only!’ Gerard giggled while he leaned against the counter across from the older man. Bob smiled brightly at the young man taking in how much he had changed since he last saw him. Mikey almost ran up the aisle to meet his brother at the desk.
‘Mikey!’ Bob grinned widely before coming from behind the counter and giving the two brother big hugs.

‘What do I owe the pleasure?’ Bob mumbled as he released the younger from an almost suffocating hug.

‘We were back in town and thought we’d pay you a visit.’ Gerard smiled as Frank awkwardly walked over and stood beside them.

‘Frank right?’ Bob said cautiously, Frank nodded slightly shocked that the man knew of him. ‘Yeah, you were in penny prep? I saw you guys play last year?’ Frank smiled slightly blushing, he couldn’t believe he was being noticed for his old band.

‘You were in a band?’ Gerard mumbled giving Frank a look of disbelief.

‘Yeah.’ Frank nodded. ‘We broke up before I moved to New York.’ Mikey and Gerard shared the same look of utter shock before Gerard finally spoke.

‘Okay, is it just me or did he just get 10 times more attractive?’ Gerard looked serious, but Mikey and Bob couldn’t help but laugh. Frank’s eyes went wide a blush permanently staining his pale cheeks. ‘What?’ Gerard called in his defense. ‘He was in a band? I knew you were into music, but damn.’ Frank shook his head slightly. ‘Were they any good?’ Gerard asked with a little too much enthusiasm.

‘Totally! Frank on stage is like other worldly.’ Bob mumbled reminiscing slightly as he moved back behind the counter. ‘He is mental. And your voice is something else!’ Frank blushed at the compliments. ‘I think I have a couple of your guy's demos in the back.’
‘You fucking sang in the band?’ Gerard nearly shouted across to Frank who nodded smiling slightly. ‘We need to go home right now.’

‘Why?’ Frank looked concerned.

‘Because I have a problem only you can deal with.’ Gerard groaned.

‘Gerard!’ Frank scolded. ‘Mikey is right there!’ Mikey giggled in the corner.

‘We shared a room until he was 17 and he and Kris have been dating since we can all remember, I’ve heard things I will never be able to un-hear.’ Mikey stopped giggling suddenly and started sulking almost immediately. ‘What? Why do you think I begged mom to let me move into the basement?’

‘I did wonder why you didn’t move into the spare room?’ Mikey mumbled hiding his face from the others in the store.

‘Yeah, that was still too close.’ Frank burst out laughing at the two brothers before Bob reemerged with a few CD’s and passed them to Gerard who was smiling widely.

‘I am gonna listen to these it a dark room on my own.’ Gee mumbled to himself causing Frank to cringe.

‘Too much info bro.’ Bob muttered shaking his head. Before Frank could intervene Mikey dragged him down the classical section.

‘Hey, Mikes? You alright?’ Frank muttered looking slightly concerned.

‘Yeah, dude, why wouldn’t I be?’ He mumbled his hands fidgeting in his thin hair.

‘Because people don’t usually just drag other people around like a giant ass piano is gonna fall from the sky.’ Frank smirked studying the older man's actions carefully not before looking over to see it G had noticed his brother's twitchy behavior, but he was too busy catching up with Bob.

‘Yeah, yeah. Listen. You and G, are you gonna tell Mom?’ Mikey whispered under his breathe like she was watching them. Frank shrugged glancing over at G again.

‘I want to, but I don’t think he is ready.’ Frank didn’t look back at Mikey to answer his question, but if he had he would’ve noticed the relief wash over the pale man.

‘Good, good. I don’t think you should tell her just yet.’ Mikey was still fidgeting slightly and couldn’t seem to keep still. Frank turned back away from Gerard and frowned.

‘Whats wrong Mikes?’ Frank moved closer feeling the older anxiousness and knowing something wasn’t right.

‘Its Kris, she’s pregnant.’ Frank smiled brightly almost instantly. ‘No, don’t you can't say anything.’

‘Why not?’

‘Mom, she’s a bit proper; too proper. You know no sex before marriage and definitely no babies born of sin.’ Mikey mumbled and then he paused slightly. ‘So we both can't tell mom. She would like die on the spot. One son living in sin with a man and her other son got a girl pregnant without marrying her. She would explode.’ Mikey leaned against the wall and sighed running his hands through his hair. ‘She noticed last week and she took a test yesterday. I’m going to be a dad. Frank, we are gonna have a baby.’ Frank smiled brightly before glancing back over to the other two.

‘Tell her tonight. G and I can keep us a secret for a little while longer.’ Mikey looked up at the younger boy and smiled thankfully.

‘You can't tell him, he…’

‘I know. He’ll tell you not to tell her and he’ll get all protective. ‘

‘You know him.’

‘Of course, I know him…’

‘No, I mean you really know him. You know that you are meant for someone when you’re able to know them better than they now themselves.’ Mikey mumbled pushing himself off of the wall and smiling down at Frank. ‘You and G are different from any other couple I’ve seen. A good different.’

Frank nodded slightly knowing what he meant because he felt it too. There was something different about them.

~~~~

The restaurant was small and homely and Frank recognised it. It was a cold day for the time of year and Frank couldn’t help but cherish the way Gerard’s cheeks brightened in the coldness and the way his teeth chattered slightly from the bitter wind. The little Italian place was a walking distance from the Way household and the little ground walked along the dark streets split into pairs, but just not the one you would expect. Donna and Don were at the front arms linked as Donna chattered away about some neighborhood gossip Don had no interest in. Frank and Kris were behind them talking in hushed tones about the expected arrival. The slacking behind were the two brothers dragging their feet along the frost covered ground, their hands shoved into their pockets and heads hanging loosely from their pale necks.

‘So, boy or girl?’ Frank mumbled bumping Kris in the shoulder causing her to giggle slightly and blush. Frank smiled over to her and awaited her answer.
‘Boy.’ Frank cocked his head slightly at her direct answer. ‘I can feel it. A little boy. A little Way boy.’ She giggled her hair swooping over her shoulders and cascading down her front.

‘Oh, and how we love a good a Way boy.’ Frank smirked pulling his arm around Kris’ shoulder and smiling. He’s known the girl two days and he knew she was a good person. A loving soul and he could feel himself growing to love her.

‘I think I love him.’ Gerard mumbled slightly as the two brothers look over at the two figures in front of them. ‘I haven’t told him yet, but I really do think that…I've known him for such a small amount of time I don’t know if it's real.’ Gerard mumbled to his brother not able to tear his eyes away from Frank.

‘Oh, you definitely do. I can assure you G.’ Mikey smiled down at his brother ruffling his hair a little. Gerard huffed moving his head out of the younger’s grip, a smile still slapped across his face.

‘He said he doesn’t wanna tell mom, but…I don’t know if I can keep it in any longer.’ Mikey nodded slightly not saying anything and silence consumed the group as they turned a corner and were greeted with the warmth of the place, the light from the candles and the smell of food.

The little place wasn’t busy at all, but they still had a table reserved and as the waiter guided them up to their little-secluded table at the back of the restaurant Frank couldn’t help but be thankful for the little bit of privacy they had. They ordered their food and the casual conversation was being directed mostly at Kris and Mikey’s wedding plans. Kris gleamed slightly as Mikey slumped next to her his arm around her waist protectively settled on her stomach. Frank smiled over at the two of them as Gerard instinctively gripped onto Frank hand underneath the table cloth. Both relieved they were sat next to each other. Donald noticed the two’s intimate moment as he sat beside his eldest son. He could only smile at the gleaming face of happiness that was graced upon Gerard's face. Donna who was sitting opposite her husband was utterly unaware of what secret affection was being shared between the two as she was too busy fondling with Kristen’s, who was sat next to her, hair bumbling on about the wedding. Frank suddenly noticed as the waiter who had shown them their table gestured for two men to sit at the only other table at this side of the restaurant. The two men were holding hand and obviously on a date. The shorter of the two men made slight eye contact with Frank who smiled politely at them before turning back to the table and listening to the idle chatter. The food was delicious and Frank was enjoying the little and polite mouthfuls as everyone ate in silence. The two had to detach hands to eat, but Gerard still rested his free hand on Franks' thigh. The comfortable silence was broken by Donna.

‘Oh god.’ Everyone looked up from their plates to look at the older woman who was staring at Frank disgustedly. Frank turned around to look behind him where the two men were sharing a bowl of pasta. He turned back to Donna who had crossed her arms and pouted at the two. ‘Disgusting. I am trying to eat.’ Suddenly G removed his hand from Franks' thigh and Frank felt instantly sick.

‘Donna, please!’ Don said sternly in hushed tones.

‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘I came here to have a nice meal with my family, I don’t need that kind of unholy display put on in front of me.’ Luckily the two men were too wrapped up in each other to notice Donna.

‘Mom. Stop it right now.’ Mikey said sternly glancing over at his brother who was close to tears. ’They are in love, let them be. They are happy and that doesn’t concern you.’ Frank locked eyes with Mikey feeling the heat rise in his cheeks.

‘It does concern me when it puts me off my food. It’s a sin, Mikey. I understand that you young people are a bit more accepting of it but in my mind, it's an unforgivable sin.’ Gerard was sobbing now. Quietly and his tears went unnoticed except when it came to Mikey who could see through his brothers cover up.

‘MOM!’ Mikey nearly screamed to get her to shut up. Gerard stood up quickly walking away from the table causing Donna to be quiet only for a moment.

‘What is wrong with him?’ Everyone was silent trying to come up with some sort of excuse. Frank was glued to his seat wanting to run after G so badly, but knowing it could give something away he didn’t want to be the one to tell Donna, that was G’s right.

‘I’ll go see if he’s okay.’ Kristen muttered standing up quickly and running after him.

‘Mom, you can't say stuff like that!’ Mikey mumbled angrily over to his mother. Frank continued to stare down at his plate unable to peel his eyes away from the table. ‘It’s wrong and hurtful and you upset G!’ Frank could see the anger building up inside Mikey.
‘Why is he upset exactly? He is too soft. He takes things to heart and gets too emotional about these kinds of things. I was just expressing an opinion!’ She argued and suddenly Frank couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

‘You were being hateful.’ Frank mumbled not looking up from his plate. Mikey’s eyes went wide and Donna gasped. ‘You weren’t expressing an opinion you were discriminating. You were being hateful. Never in my life have I witnessed someone be so filled with unexplainable hatred.’ He looked up then and locked eyes with Donna. She rolled her eyes slightly.

‘I don’t know how they do it in the big cities Frank, but in good neighborhoods and communities like ours, we teach our children to be normal.’ Donna smirked slightly taking a gulp from her glass of water before smiling over at her husband who just shook his head.

‘Well, you didn’t do a very good job then did you?’ Gerard seemed to appear out of nowhere behind Mikey with Kris by his side.

‘What are you muttering about Geebear?’ His mother smiled up at him. ’Sit down and stop being such a drama queen.’ Frank inhaled quickly pushing down his bumbling hate.

‘I am muttering about the fact that I’m…’ Gerard was interrupted by Frank who stood up quickly.

‘No, G, don’t.’ Frank muttered causing Donna to roll her eyes again.

‘Frankie, I have to.’ Gerard smiled over at him.

‘Frankie?’ Donna laughed hysterically.

‘Please G, you can't…not right now.’ Frank ignored Donna’s comment staring widely at his boyfriend.

‘Frank.’ Mikey piped up slightly shooting a glance to Kris who nodded and smiled. ‘It’s fine.’ Frank sat down slowly waiting for the words to leave Gerard's mouth. Donna was staring at Frank curiously.

‘Mom.’ Gerard said quietly causing her to turn her head quickly to him and her scowl to transform into a forced smile.

And then after years of suppression. After years of keeping his feelings buried deep within himself, Gerard said the two words he had been keeping locked inside of him since he was 15. He finally admitted to his mother everything he had once hated about himself. And in that moment his mind was finally clear of everything hazy and the weight was lifted from the inside of his mind. He finally spoke the words he once hated, the words his mother never thought she’d hear, but the words she needed to hear.

’I…I’m gay’

Notes

Fuckkkkkkkk! THIS BLOODY CHAPTER HAD CAUSED ME SO MUCH STRESS. Firstly I wrote this about two weeks ago and for about a four chapterS I'd known that during this chapter I was going to have Donna find out G was gay, so I had it that Frank was going to be in a car crash and G was going to freak out and admit to Donna he was in love with him AND THEN LITERALLY THREE DAYS BEFORE I WAS GOING TO UPLOAD IT FRANK GETS IN tHAT BUS CRASH AND I WAS LIKE I CANT UPLOAD THIS OMFG. So I start again. I come up with this new plot that Mikey and Kris are gonna be having a baby and this forced G and Frank to keep it a secret and then it all kind of explodes AND THEN LITERALLY THE DAY IM GOING TO FUCKING UPLOAd IT MIKEY AND KRIS RELAVLED THEY ARE GONNA HAVE A BABY AND IM JUST LIKE?????? WTF? HOW? AND THEN I SIT FOR A WEEK TRYING TO THINK OF A NEW PLOT AND THEN I WAS LIkE FUCK IT! So here you go I can tell the fucking future!

-C