Bookworms Anonymous

Frank can’t remember how they got there but all he could really feel in that moment was Gerard leaning on his shoulder breathing heavily, his shoulder damp from his tears and a numb feeling in his chest. They were sat at the table in the little Italian place that Donna had convinced them all to go to that evening. Mikey was sat across from them staring at the table scorching the wood with the fiery anger which filled his eyes to the brim. Kris was sat next to him mumbling into the phone as she ordered the four of them a taxi. The waiter moved over to the table swiftly picking up the plates and smiling at Kris who was the only one in that moment who looked approachable.

‘Could we have the bill please.’ Frank mumbled slightly shooting a small smile up to the waiter who was still unaware of what had happened only two minutes before. The restaurant was warm and smelled like Neapolitan sauce and garlic and that smell from then on would make the fours stomachs lurch at the memory of what they had witnessed. Gerard was leaning his head on Frank’s shoulder staring into space, he wasn’t really crying. He wasn’t distraught or angry. His tears were just falling casually from his red eyes like all the tension in his head had been released and he could no longer hide them. Mikey couldn’t seem to shake the hatred which was sizzling in his chest uncontrollably, he kept running over everything in his head…every single word.

‘You are what?’ Donna whispered quietly like it was some sort of illegal dealing she was speaking about.

‘He’s gay.’ Mikey mumbled rolling his eyes at the woman who he was slowly losing all respect for.

‘You knew about this?’ She gasped causing Gerard to cringe down and back into his seat feeling all the power and happiness fuzz out of him in one moment.

‘Mom.’ Mikey spoke a little louder. ‘Everyone knew about it, you are just so backwards and ignorant that you couldn’t see that your son was hurting so much because he couldn’t be himself.’ Mikey was gripping onto the air tightly his fists so tightly held that his knuckled were nearly as white as G’s pale complexion.

‘I…I…’ She stuttered slightly before landing up slowly and smiling over at her husband. ‘We are leaving now, Don.’ But her husband shook his head and frowned at his wife of 25 years. ‘Look what you’ve done!’ She whispered over at Gerard.

Gerard shook his head slightly opening his eyes when the taxi bumped over a pot whole. Suddenly the smell of Italian food was whipped from his flaring nostrils and was replaced by the smell of air freshener which hung from the mirror in the taxi. He was cold suddenly as well, his bare arms prickling at the bitter air. He could see his jacket in Franks lap beside him, but he didn’t have the energy to ask for it. He was in the middle of Frank and Kris and Mikey was ranting in the front of the cab. Gerard couldn’t make out what he saying, though.

‘She thinks that she can treat him like that. God! She lives like its the 50’s. I hate her.’ He almost screams his eyes red with passion.

‘No,’ Kris started. ‘You do not hate her and she doesn’t hate G.’ She stroked Gerard’s thigh slightly as he gazed forward totally unaware of what was really going on. ‘Because, everything just got a bit heated and we all said things we regret.’ Kris was always the level headed one in these situations and most of the time Frank was the same, expect when it came to Gerard and his happiness.

‘He hasn’t done anything except be himself.’ Frank mumbled feeling his own anger bubble to the top of his lungs and spill out of his mouth. ‘Why can’t you accept your son for who he is?’ Frank was standing now and everyone was looking between the two.

‘Because it is immoral and a sin.’ Her voice wavered like she was on the edge of tears. ‘It’s you and your big city ideas they have warped my child.’ She laughed quietly still embarrassed to be caught arguing publicly.

‘I can tell you right now, Donna,’ Frank spat her name like it caused a bad taste in his mouth. ‘Your son was gay long before I met him.’ Then suddenly it all made sense in Donna’s mind and her eyes suddenly pooled with tears.

‘Him?’ She was speaking to her eldest son now who was staring off into space and if it wasn’t for the tears that were free falling down his cheeks it would’ve seemed like he was blocking out everything that was happening. ‘You are living in sin with this…boy!’ She could barely believe herself as the words came together in her mind. ‘Not only is he, what nineteen?’ She guessed correctly. ‘But he is also a man, Gerard!’ She scolded him causing her son to flinch slightly.

Gerard opened his eyes again and could feel Franks side pressed into him and hear his words tumble from his soft lips and float around his mind not making complete sense, but still giving him a sense of comfort. ‘And then we can go to that milkshake place that you and Linds always talk about, but you still haven’t taken me to yet. And then we will go to Rays, he got some new Bowie in? I reserved it for your Christmas, but I guess we can just get it now?’ He smiled down at him trying to keep his mind off of what had just happened.

‘Where’s Mikey?’ G had just noticed that his brother wasn’t in the front of the cab anymore and he began to grow worried that he had left.

‘They went to go get our stuff from your parents. I got us a cheap last minute hotel for the night and we can drive back to New York tomorrow when you feel a bit better and I don’t have any alcohol in my system, okay?’ Gerard nodded snuggling closer to Frank, captured by his heat and smell. But then G, realised that the taxi was stopped and that only meant one thing. He sat up quickly and saw in front of him his childhood home, the one he may never be welcome in again.

‘I think I am gonna be sick.’ Gerard mumbled.

‘I think I am gonna be sick.’ Donna mumbled as she stared at the two men who refused to confirm nor deny her claims. Suddenly she stepped away from the table feeling her hands shake and her tears roll down her cheeks. ‘Don, we are going now.’

‘No.’ He said firmly placing a hand on Gerard back. ‘He is our son. Our beautiful, wonderful, talented son. And we will love unconditionally forever no matter what.’ Frank smiled over at the man and the smile was returned.

‘You can't condone this Donald!’ She argued pushing her hand through her hair and groaning feeling desperate to leave.

‘My son can love whoever he wants. As long as they love him back like he deserves.’ He spoke calmly and smoothly although anyone who looks close enough could see his lip quiver and his handshake as he watched his wife, whom he loved, rip his family to shreds. Suddenly Frank realised just that and before he could stop himself he told Donald to go with her. Donald nodded and stood up following her out the restaurant leaving the four of them in a misty silence.

‘We came to pick up G and Frankies stuff.’ Kris mumbled to Don as Mikey threw himself around his childhood home picking things up aggressively and slamming doors when he could. Donna was standing at the top of the first-floor landing staring down at them all. She twitched slightly when Mikey roared and stomped about her home, but she said nothing. ‘I have never seen Mikes this angry before.’ Kris gasped to Donald and Donna heard her and she also heard her husband's reply.

’Neither have I.’ Don said wrapping his arm around her protectively. ‘He just loves Gerard so much.’ Mikey dumped a bag at the front door before going up the stair-pushing past his mom ignoring her calling after him as he went to retrieve Franks stuff from the guest bedroom and his and Kris’ stuff from his room.

‘We all love Gerard, but I don’t think Mikey has ever felt so conflicted in his life.’ She cried quietly wiping away a stray tear which escaped. She had tried so hard to keep everything together for her fiancé and friends, but it was all getting to be too much for her. Mikey stormed past his mother again and down the stairs dumping Franks overnight bag and his and Kristen’s cases at the front door.

‘Mikey you and Kris don’t have to leave right now, your flight isn't until tomorrow afternoon!’ Donna called down to his her voice shaking. Mikey sighed laughing slightly while he turned around to look at her for the first time since he walked into the house. She smiled down at him and it wasn’t returned.

‘So it’s okay for G and Frank to have to spend a night in a hotel room, but Kris and I are welcome to stay here?’ He didn’t give her a chance to reply before he screamed up at her again. ‘Of course! We would rather stay in a crappy motel room than sleep under the same roof as someone so bitter and wicked. You know when Gerard first told me, a year ago, that he was thinking about telling you the truth, telling you he was gay, I promised him that everything was going to be okay. I told him that you would still love him no matter what, but it's fine because back then he didn’t have Frank and now he does! He doesn’t need you! He has me and Kris and dad and he has a wonderful best friend who loves him in every single way. Because I have never in my whole life seen my brother smile and laugh the way he does when he is with Frank Iero. I have never seen my brother so comfortable in his own skin, so content with his life, so wonderfully in love and silly with joy. And it doesn’t matter if its a woman or a man who makes his eyes light up the way they do when he sees Frank because you should just be happy that your son is finally content. Gerard spent his entire life hiding who he is and being so somber and bitter and now he finally feels happy and you tried to take that away from him. What kind of mother does that make you?’ Mikey was out of breath and seething with anger. ‘Come on Kris.’ He said picking up some of the bags and handing her the case. ‘We are going. I’ll be in touch, dad.’ He looks over at him slightly seeing the sadness in his eyes. ‘And, mom,’ she looked down at him with a little hope in her eyes. ‘don’t you dare think you are even invited to the wedding anymore and I promise you, that until the day you apologise to Gerard and admit that you're ignorant and pathetic, you will have nothing to do with me, Kris or your grandchild.’ Donald looked over at the two before pulling Kris into a tight hug and smiling widely. ‘This isn't the way I wanted to tell you, dad, you understand that?’ Don only nodded before pulling his son into a hug as well before they both left and never looked back.

~~~~~~~~~~

Gerard was sitting on the edge of the slightly crumpled, but clean, motel room sheets. His head resting in his hand; he tried to focus on his breathing. In for four, hold for four and out for eight. Again and again, until his body felt numb. Gerard couldn’t believe that after what had happened tonight he still felt a sense of relief when it came to his mother. Even though she reacted in the worst possible way he couldn’t help but feel happy that it was all finally out there; out in the open. Frank crawled behind him placing his hands on his shoulder and leaning over his right side planting a small kiss on his neck. Gerard smiled his eyes feeling heavy from the crying and his head feeling stuffy from…well, the crying also. Frank nuzzled his neck slightly until Gerard turned his head and faced him. Gerard kissed him lightly on the nose before smiling up at him.

‘You know,’ Frank started to speak playing with a loose bit of Gerard’s hair. ‘I can't help but feel like this is my fault.’ Frank placed his finger against Gerard’s lips to stop him from interrupting. ‘I mean if I hadn’t come with you would never felt compelled to tell her and god if I wasn’t there when you did tell she couldn’t have exploded that much. Not only did she find out her son was gay, but she also met his fucking boyfriend in the same 30 seconds.’ Frank sighed moving his finger away from Gerard’s lips and smiled again. ‘I mean what else could’ve gone wrong?’ He laughed.

‘Well, I could be alone right now.’ Gerard muttered simply. ‘Instead of being with you, I could be dealing with this alone, but I’ve got you and that's all that really matters.’ Gerard moved a little closer to Frank inhaling his scent slightly and letting it sink into his lungs and wash away the bitterness which resonated within him. ‘Can I kiss you?’ Gerard mumbled his lips barely a millimeter away from Franks.

‘Anytime’ Frank mumbled before Gerard pushed him back onto the bed with a passionate kiss. Gerard worked quickly kissing every part of franks face quickly covering every inch of his skin in his little-peppered kisses. He moaned slightly at the friction between the two of them and the feel of Frank beneath him. Frank smiled slightly nibbling on Gerard's ear slightly before whispering about how beautiful he was. Frank pushed Gerard to the side so that he could get on top, grinding down onto him and causing his to groan before attacking his neck in kisses. Gerard giggled at Franks tickle kisses and blushed deeply when Frank moaned at the way he gripped his hips slightly. Frank leaned up so that he was looking down at G.

‘You are ready for this, right G?’ Frank whispered smiling down at the beautiful picture that was played out across the now even more crumpled sheets. Gerard nodded unconvincingly before looking away from him and whispering no. ‘Hey, hey..’ Frank gripped Gerard’s face and turned him towards him. ‘It’s okay.’ Frank smiled slightly moving off of him and laying beside him.

‘Thank you.’ Gerard whispered over to him. ‘For understanding. You should’ve had to wait this long. I am being stupid and anxious like usual.’ Gerard mumbled closing his eyes, feeling really embarrassed at his self-consciousness.

‘Hey!’ Frank called over to him to get his attention. Gerard opened his heavy eyes. ‘I would wait forever for you.’ Frank said simply smiling so brightly Gerard felt blinded. Frank moved closer cuddling into Gerard and closing his eyes sighing contently. ‘You know, if I am gonna take one thing from the emotional rollercoaster that was today it would be that…I really don’t think your mom likes me.’ Gerard burst out laughing feeling slightly guilty for doing so but still feeling a little pang in his heart at the knowledge that even on the worst day of his life Frank can make him laugh.

‘Yeah,’ Gerard mumbled. ‘You know I think it's your lack of boobs.’ And then for the first time in what felt like decades, they both fell into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

~~~~~~

The song ‘creep’ rattled through the old sound system in the little diner that Frank and Mikey were sat in across the road from the motel they had spent the night in. Their little booth almost was hidden from the sight of everyone in the bustling little joint. The place smelt like day-old pancakes and burnt bacon and the table was sticky to the touch, but in that moment Frank didn’t want to be anywhere else. He sat with a mug of coffee in his grip and the boy he loved was in his sight sitting at the counter on one of the swinging stools with Kris. Mikey looked like he hadn’t slept in a million years and Frank couldn’t help but feel guilty. Mikey was muttering on about their plans to go home.

‘So our flight is at 4pm so Kris can go back to that house, I don’t think I could go near her at the moment, and she can drive G’s car back to the motel and then you can take us to the airport and then head back to New York?’ Mikey was wafting his hands around wildly, his usual calm exterior gone for a moment as he mulled over the plans.

‘Everything is going to be okay.’ Frank mumbled across to the older man who only nodded in response. ‘G is going to be okay.’ He said to reassure Mikey.

‘I know, I know.’ He smiled over at him. ‘He is going to be okay because he has you, but I can't help but think about what it would be like if you two never found each other. Gerard would be a lost cause.’ Mikey seemed angry again and Frank's heart broke into a million pieces instantly.

‘But, he has me and I have him and that’s all that matters. Don’t think about what if. Look over there and watch your smiling…hurt? Sure. But smiling brother and beautiful fiancé and be happy that this is the way things worked out. That G and I found each other, that you and Kris are going to have a baby and that we are here right now in this stupid diner with his ridiculously overpriced coffee and appreciate that in this moment everything is okay.’’ Frank spoke soothingly.

‘Has anyone ever told you that you have a way with words Frank Iero?’ Mikey smiled over at him. Frank shrugged taking a sip from his coffee and gazing back over at Gerard.

Notes

This chapter is a little shorter than usually, but honestly, it was kind of harrowing to write IDK about reading it but I was in tears when writing Mikey's big speech to Donna. Now, I am gonna be honest I have said before that I never wanted to make Donna a bitch in this fic and it wasn't planned until about three hours ago. But it works and helps with the whole thing with my plot having to be changed. This was formatted and written differently than usually and I was experimenting a little with different ways of showing a scene or flashback and it also helped me come up with the title for this chapter. I kind of like it IDK! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

-C