The Only Hope For Me Is You

After both of us finished our ranting, there was a brief moment where we threw ourselves against each other. I held him so tight like it was the last time I’d ever be this close to him. And he held me back. Then, we made a beautiful but at the same time shocking, locking with our lips. I miss him so much it hurts. Afterwards I took his hand and made him follow me and Ray back into the house. The entire situation was so un-real that I felt sick to my stomach. It felt like a dream.
Ray hadn’t said a single word since he asked G how he’d known about the poorly thought out betrayal. I don’t blame him though; his mind is probably running a bajillion miles an hour trying to process the attempt of suicide made by one of his best friends, and an inappropriate student-teacher relationship that he just freaking witnessed with no warning. Hey, it’s not like that kiss was planned or anything.
Actually, so much of my life within the past month has been so incredibly screwed up that I’m getting used to it, accepting this as the reality that will hit me the rest of my crappy life.
Me, G and Ray enter the house and migrate over to the kitchen. Gerard is tired and his eyes are watery, red, and look strained from crying. My tears left when he kissed me because it hit me that everything was going to be okay from that moment on. Well, I got some hope back.
“How long?” Ray asks. His tone is angry. Uh oh… I think. I stay silent, giving G an opportunity to say something but he doesn’t. He looks just as confused by the question as I am. “What do you mean?” I ask. Ray rolls his eyes. “Damn it Frank! I’m talking to Mr. Suicide over here.” He points an angry finger at G. “You know what’s funny? You attempt to kill yourself because we lied and kept a secret from you but here you are, holding hands with one of your students. You kissed him, you hugged, and you guys were talking in the car like something was being solved that had been a big problem for such a long time. I mean, tell me G, how is that not hypocritical of you? Was that a move for attention or something? Because you lied to me. You kept a secret from me. You never even hinted that you were seeing someone…especially a student!” I begin to cry again because it’s like just when everything is beginning to look like it might be okay, someone ends up snapping and everything goes back to the way it was before.
Gerard looks at me and mouths the words, “It’s okay.” I nod my head as if to say okay.
“You’re right I mean, I got low and it was hypocritical of me but to be fair, I had a lot of other shit other than just being lied to by my closest friends, going on. And I even said something about it. No I’m not desperate for attention. I truly was going to end it and if you guys had left me out there a little while longer I’d already be gone. Also, I’m not an art teacher anymore. I resigned. So our relationship now is not a student-teacher relationship.” G sounded so confident as he talked, like he didn’t just try to end his fucking life.
“But your relationship is still illegal Gerard! Anyways, that’s not the point. I don’t give a fuck about you and Frank being together okay? You lied to me, Mikey and Jenna, and then almost killed yourself when you figured out that we lied to you. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time even if there was more than one reason why you tried to end it. I’m mad because I care G. If you died…god I can’t even explain it…” Ray starts to sniffle and let some tears fall from his eyes. “How selfish of you. You weren’t thinking about anyone but yourself.” And then before G can say anything to that, Ray storms out of the room crying pretty heavily.
Me and G were still holding hands in the kitchen when Mikey and Jenna come barging in the house, practically gasping for air. Both their eyes were swollen and red from crying.“Ray we need you, we can’t find Gera-“ But Mikey stops talking when he sees G safe and sound in the kitchen. The expression of complete and utter shock on Mikey and Jenna’s face was so funny. I fought with everything I had inside of me not to giggle like a child. I turn my attention over to G’s face to see what his face was telling me was in his head. But I got nothing.
Jenna comes running up to the both of us but ignores me and slaps Gerard so hard, that when she pulled her hand back, her ENTIRE hand was imprinted on the side of his face. He took it deservingly though.
But she then threw herself on him and hugged him. Her sobbing was so intense. “You dibshit don’t scare me like that.” She says into his shoulder. I’m not sure if there was anything I was supposed to do…or what…but it felt right to hug G to so I did. Well, I was more hugging Jenna than anyone because she wouldn’t let him go for anything. And then before long I felt Mikey wrap his arms around us all and eventually Ray comes in from the back and joins in. It was so amazing. A big huddling ball of messy tears, sweat, annoying sobbing, pain, and best of it all, friends…

Notes

I apologize for making this fanfiction so long and drawn out but I promise that there's some really exciting and juicy shtuff coming in the next few chapters.