We Shouldn't Be Here

Mikey's pov

"No! Gerard, I please don't leave me!" Frank yelled as Gerard passed out. "We have to keep going!" I said as we carried Gerard through the snow. It was extremely difficult and the hunters were right on top of us. I could hear them, they could see us and they knew that they hit one of us, the blood trail could tell you that. My hold on Gerard slipped and he fell to the ground, Frank cradled his head, crying and telling him to wake up. "If you have to pick between me or Frank, pick him."
Gerard's voice echoing in my head as I watched Frank, Gerard's blood all over his hands. "Frank, we have to go." I said as the hunters got closer, they were going to be here any second and we could get away while carrying Gerard. "Help me!" He cried as he tried to pick Gerard up again but failed. I could see no other option and Frank wouldn't leave without Gerard. "I'm sorry." I said before pulling Frank up, he let out a surprised cry. "What are you doing!?" He said in a panic as I pushed him towards were the others ran to. "Mikey, stop, we need to help Gerard." He said and tried going back to Gerard. "He told me to pick you, we have to go, Frank." I said as the hunters broke into the small clearing that we were in. "Go!" I yelled forcing Frank to keep running, I blocked his path so he could turn back. It pained me to leave my own brother behind but we can't get away with him. He made me promise to chose Frank and I won't break that promise no matter what because that's what he wanted. We would find him again and we would get away. We always did.
~~~~~
Gerard's pov

I'm so cold, I'm so cold, so cold, so very cold. There's no warmth, no warmth, only cold, only ice cold. I hurt so much, why is there so much pain? Why is there only cold, why? Why is there only pain?

"Look who's finally awake."

Who said that? Why was I asleep? Where am I? Why does it hurt?

"Good morning, Gerard." The voice said making me slowly open my eyes to bright light. Where am I? "You must be very confused, Gerard."

"Y-yeah." I stuttered, my throat hurt so much and my voice sounded unused.

"What do you remember?" The voice said again, I looked around and relieved that I was in a completely white room with only a bed. The crisp white sheets and white light made everything seem so surreal. I noticed that there was no one else in the room but me.

"I don't r-remember anything..." I said softly as I slowly propped myself up into a sitting position.

"That's okay, you were in a very bad accident, Gerard, it might have affected your memory."

"Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital." They said simply, I heard a soft click and the door opened slowly to reveal a women in a doctors uniform and a clipboard. "How do you feel?" She asked as the door shut behind her.

"Okay I guess... What happened to me?"

"That's good." She said and wrote something down on her clipboard. "You were in a very bad accident, you're lucky to be alive."

"Oh..." I mumbled and looked down at the hospital band around my skinny, pale wrist.

"Can you stand?" She asked, I shrugged and loosed down at my feet. I slowly moved my left foot then my right, they both moved just fine. Then I pulled the blanket away and slid my legs off the bed until my feet touched the cold tiled floor. "That's it." She said as I pushed up and stood shakily, taking a few small steps I gained my balance back.

"How long have I been here?"

"About a month, you've been in a coma for about two months."

I've been out for that long? How the hell did this even happen? What have I missed? Who have I forgotten, I know I lost memories, well a lot of them. Do I have any family or friends that I forgot?
~~~~~

"So I lived here?" I asked as Kelly, my assistant, pushed open the door to my home, I guess.

"Yes, all of your stuff is how you left it. I know this is all confusing right now. I'm here to help you so you can remember." She said as I walked farther into the home, nothing looked familiar and didn't smell like home. Why did I say it doesn't smell like home? "I'll leave you to it then, if you need anything just call me okay? My number is on the list near the phone." She said before leaving, I was seriously so confused.

I sighed and slowly made my way through the house, it was a good size for one person. There was one bedroom and one bathroom, both in the hallway. The kitchen was nice and the living room was big. Everything was okay, I guess... Nothing felt like home, I felt hollow like I was missing something, something important.

I stopped in front of the full body mirror and looked at myself. I was extremely pale, my eyes had dark circles under them, my lips were pink and I was pretty skinny. My raven black hair was swept over my forehead in a cwiff kind of thing. They cut it before I came home. I tentatively pulled my shirt up to reveal the scar running from my chest then all the way down to the side of my thigh. Running my hand over it I wondered how this could've happened. They told me that I was in a very bad car accident. How did I get into that accident? Who have I forgotten while I was out? They said I had no family but what about friends?

A loud bang made me jump, letting my shirt slide back down as I took a shaken breath. What the hell was that? I slowly walked to the window and looked outside, someone knocked over a garbage can a few houses down. How the hell did I hear that, it was so loud.
~~~~~
(Trigger warning)
"How have you been, Gerard?" Dr.Ambers said, I've living in my home for the passed month and everything felt so off. It felt like I didn't belong here. I felt so hollow and broken.

"I'm good." I lied and gave a fake smile, she seemed to buy it and smiled back.

"You've settled back into your home quite nicely then?"

"Yeah..." I said, pulling my sleeves over my hands, I honestly wanted to curl up in a ball and cry all of the time. My heart squeezed painfully as I held back tears. I was silently crying out for help, for answers, anything that would make sense and make me feel normal. I wanted my memories back and I wanted to know why I felt so hollow like I was missing something.

"I'll be looking forward to seeing you on Monday." Dr. Ambers said, I nodded and got up, leaving therapy that I guess I had to go to every week.

I walked home because the therapy office was only a block away. My heart was pounding and my skin was crawling, everything sounded so loud, so bright. Tears slid down my face as I slammed my door shut and slid down to he floor, pulling my knees up to my chest and started to cry my eyes out. Why couldn't I just have died in that accident? It would've been better than feeling this way.

I pulled myself up and stumbled to the bathroom, my blurry vision making me hit into the table. I didn't care and swung the door open, gripping the sink as hard as I could. Digging through the drawer I found my razor blades. Taking one in my hand I slid my sleeve up and placed the sharp edge against my skin. I never self harmed and I never thought about it until now. Holding my breath I slid the razed acrossed mt wrist, I felt the blood slid down my wrist making me open my eyes.


"What the fuck?" I gasped and dropped the razer, there was no cut on my arm, only some blood. I cut myself and there's no cut. What the actual fuck? I took the razer and cut myself again, watching as the cut closed up again. I cut again and the same thing happened. What the hell am I? What is wrong with me?

Notes

So... That happened. The facility has Gerard, making him live in their own little world that they created. Sounds pretty messed up to me.