If I was dead

Frank's pov

I was wondering who Gerard was so scared and jumpy about everything. He was afraid of loud noises, and people touching him, and extremely scared of the dark. "Hey Gee?" I asked as we watched tv, he looked up at me questionly. "Can I ask you something, you don't have to answer." I asked, he nodded and sat up with his notebook on his hands. "Did someone ever hurt you? I mean abused you when you were younger?" I asked, he froze and looked panicked, his hands shook. "You don't have to tell me Gee, it's okay." I said, he shook his head and started to write down in his notebook. 'When I was sent to my first foster home the oldest son would lock me in the closet in the dark for hours, I would cry for hours but he wouldn't let me out until his parents came home. When I went to my second foster home the father would get drunk and beat me. One minute he would be nice and ask me if I was okay and the next he was beating me with his belt. My third foster home they had three kids, they would all beat me up, they fractured my arm in five different places. The four one was really bad, their was another foster guy named Robby, he was 16 and I was 10, he would rape me every night.' My mouth dropped, Gerard was crying into his sleeves quitly, I pulled him into a hug, he flinched but relaxed against me. "I'm so sorry Gee, I would never hurt you, it's okay." I said trying to calm him down, I shouldn't have asked but maybe now I could help him. He sniffed and pulled away writing more down on his notebook and handed it to me. 'Your the first person that I've even wrote to, and told about when I was younger. Your the first person that has ever showed me that they cared about what happens to me. I love you Frankie." I smiled warmly up at him, he held his arms out and I pulled him into a hug. "I love you too Gee." I said nuzzling his neck, he looks like he was laughing but he didn't make any noise, it was kinda weird but extremely cute. 'I like it when you call me Gee.' He wrote and and blushed, he looked so cute. "Your my little Gee bear." I laughed poking his nose, he scrunched his nose up and smiled at me with his tiny little teeth. He tugged on my sleeve and stood up, I followed as he took my hand and led me to his room. He shut the door and walked over to his bag taking out a picture of two little boys, it must me him and Mikey. Gerard pointed to the boy holding the other one in his lap and then pointed at himself. "You look so cute and tiny." I said, he smiled and stared down at the picture fondly. "Do you know where Mikey is?" I asked looking back up at him, he shook his head and looked down at the picture. 'I wish I could turn back time to the good old days.' He wrote, I nodded and he got up bringing me with him. We laid down in bed with Gerard resting on my chest. After a few minutes Gerard was fast asleep, he fell asleep pretty fast. He twitched a little and whimpered in his sleep, he opened his mouth and tried to say something but nothing came out. He's having another nightmare, I shook his gently but he didn't wake up. "Gee? It's okay wake up, it's a nightmare." I said shaking him harder, he still didn't wake up, he settled down after a while and roled so he was completely on top of me. His hand on my chest, he nuzzled his cheek against me before settling down again. We laid there for a hour, Gerard looked so peaceful. I heard Ana down stairs, she must be making dinner, I'm so glad it's Friday today. Gerard started to wake up slowly, he yawned and rubbed his eyes. His hand resting on my chest again, he pale, cold hand touched my chest and then arm. He slowly sat up and looked at me shyly, his eyes were big and he looked a little scared. "It's okay Gee, don't be afraid." I said softly, he nodded and laid his head back down, his body slowly started to relax again. "Dinner!" Ana called from the kitchen making Gerard jump. We got up, I took his hand in mine and walked down to the kitchen where Ana was looking in the fridge for something. "Hey guys, I didn't really know what to make so I ordered out, hope you like Chinese." She said taking soy sauce out of the fridge and setting it on the table where me and and Gerard were sitting. I looked through the boxes until I found the fried rice and vegetables, I ate hungrily as Gerard watched. "This is really good." I said handing him a box of sweet and sour vegetarian chicken and vegetables. He picked at it and took a few bites before handing it back to me.

Gerard's pov
The chicken stuff tasted pretty good but I wasn't hungry at all, Frank didn't try to get me to eat which I was greatfull for. "Frank can I speak with you for a minute?" Ana asked when me and Frank got up to go back to his room, Frank nodded and I went into the living to watch some tv. After a while of watching a documentary about polar bears Frank came back and took my hand leading me to his room and shut the door. "She's knows about us and she doesn't care that we are together." Frank said sitting on his bed, I nodded and put Nirvana on, and sat next to Frank. I wanted him so badly right now I honestly couldn't stand it. I turned to face him resting my hands on bus waist lightly and pressed out lips together gently. Frank put his hand on the back of my head and deepened the kiss. My heart was racing, but in a good way, a very good way. Frank pulled me into his lap as we still kissed, I shifted uncomfortably. Frank saw and laid me back in bed still kissing me, his hair falling into his face as he leaned over me. "Hey boys I was..." Ana was cut off when she saw us, she shut the door quickly, I felt my face turning red. Frank started to laugh, he kinda had a pot laugh but it was really cute. He went back to kissing me, I melted into his touch. He made me feel so happy and I actually felt like I mattered, I didn't feel like a waste of space, that's what Robby use to call me. "Gee, do you wanna do this?" Frank asked kissing my neck, I nodded and the next hour was filled will moaning, whispers, and Frank saying that he loved me.
I woke up laying completely on Frank again, he was asleep with his arms lightly around me. I snuggled in, nuzzling my cheek against his chest. Me mumbled in his sleep and his arms wrapped around me tighter. This felt so right and natural, Frank actually loved me and I loved him back. It was three in the morning and I was wide awake, ugh I just want to sleep. I listened to his steady breathing and his heart beat, it honestly was really calming. I closed my eyes hoping not to have a nightmare, my hopes came true.

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