If I was dead

Frank's pov

I watched from the hallway as Gerard cut himself multiple times with the razer. He watched it drip into the sink slowly, after he stopped bleeding he cleaned up and went to leave. He jumped a little and looked at me afraid, I backed away a little so he could leave. He ran to his room and shut the door, he looked so afraid when he saw me. His arms were covers with scared and fresh cuts. I walked to Gerard's door and leaned my ear against it, I didnt hear anything which concerned me a lot. When I first met Gerard he looked so cute and sad like a lost puppy. I opened the door slowly, Gerard was on his bed silently crying into his pillow. "Gerard?" I asked stepping in and shutting the door behind me, he jumped and wiped his tiers away. "Are you okay?" I asked sitting on the edge of the bed, he didn't respond for a while like he was thinking about it, he shook his head slowly. I saw tiers dripping down his face into his hands that were in his lap. "What's wrong?" I asked softly, he didn't move for a while, he slowly roled his sleeves up to show me all of his cuts, my heart stopped. "Did you do this to your self?" I asked scooting closer, he nodded slowly and brought his knees up to his chest. "I'm here for you, if you need anything just come get me." I said softly before getting up to leave, he had a little part of my sleeve in his hand, like he was saying don't leave. "Do you want me to stay?" He nodded he let go of my sleeve bringing his pale hand back down to his side. I pulled the sheets back he crawled under them. "I won't leave until your asleep." I said and pulled the covers over him, he nodded, I think he looked disappointed about something. I sat at the end of the bed and waited for him to go to bed. He looked so cute all tucked up in bed with his messy hair and pajamas. After a while he was asleep, I waited a little while before leaving, I watched his chest rise and fall peacefully. I made my way to my room and flopped down in bed falling asleep right when I hit the pillow, thank god I only had school tomorrow and then the weekend.
I woke up to my annoying alarm goes off, I groaned turning the stupid thing off. I got read and grabbed my backpack, Gerard's been up every morning before I'm awake sitting at the table as Ana eats, he normally didn't eat. I sat down across from him, he looked up at me, wait was he actually smiling, not a full on smile bit one side of his mouth was twisted up slightly. I liked seeing him smile like that, it made him look cuter. I ate breakfast slower than normal because I wanted to stare at him a little bit longer. After eating I said goodbye and left, the school was a five to seven minute walk. I got there five minutes early so I don't have to deal with the bullies and other kids. I was so happy that the final bell rang that I ran out of the school and all the way home. Ana was at work and would be home in another hour, Gerard jumped when I shut the front door. He was really jumpy and sometimes didn't pay any attention at all I what was happening around him. "Hey." I said sitting on their other side of the couch, he nodded his head in greeted and went back to sketching. The tv had some random Batman movie on, I looked over at Gerard his was coloring in the Batman symbol in his sketch book. "That's cool." I said leaning over to get a better look, I could see him blush and tilte his head so his hair covered his. He looked so cute when he blushed, he was literally driving me crazy, I've never felt this way towards anyone before, but I liked this feeling. His eyes darted at me and then back at his sketch book as he finished. He shifted uncomfortably and scooted a little farther away, I frowned and turned back to the tv. After a while he got up leaving his sketch book on the couch and went to the the kitchen. I opens the sketch book to find thousands of sketches all over, some were of burning cities, dead bodies, random comic book characters and random people, the one kid looked a little like Gerard and it had a 'M' in the corner of the page. I closed the book and out it back, Gerard came back with a mug of coffee and sat back down. "How was your day?" I asked turned to him, he shrugged and looked at me questionly. "Mine was okay, it was school." I said, I was getting better at figuring out what he is 'saying' with out speaking. Ana told me that he normally didn't respond to her when she was talking to him, he was 'asking' me questions so that was cool. I noticed he was staring at me so I stared back, he blushed and went back to sketching. He would jump every time I made a sound or moved, and he would get nervous when I shifted. I felt bad for making him scared, I wonder why he's scared, is it because of me, do I scare him? This made me confused, I didnt do anything to make him scared, did I. He kept taking nervous glanced at me the whole time and I wanted to know why he was scared of me. "Are you afraid of me?" I asked making him jump again, he shook his head and I breathed a sigh of relief. "Your pretty cool." I said smiling at him, there was that cute blush again, he looked up at me with a lopsided smile, he looked so fucking adorable. I slowly leaned forward and kissed him gently, he didn't really reach at first but after a while his lips started to move against mine. He didn't even try to fight over dominance, he opened his mouth and I too the invitation. I pulled away slowly, he was panting heavily trying to ketch his breath. After he calmed down a little I kissed him again but a little more rougher making him fall back bringing me with him, I was on him fully now. His submissiveness made me so turned on, our kissed becoming more hotter by the second. I heard a car door shut, crap Ana was home, I slid off of him slowly, he whimpered softly and that made me even more turned on. "We'll finish later, but right now Ana is home." I said giving him a kiss on the cheek, he nodded and went back to sketching. "Hey boys." Ana said as she walked in and shut the door, I greeted her will a hello and Gerard didn't respond because he was zoned out. "I'm making veggie burgers and salad, that sound good." I nodded, still no response from Gerard, when she left Gerard looked at me and smiled shyly. My heart stopped because he looked so cute, I scootched closer to him and took his hand, he looked down at our hands confused. "Has anyone ever held your hand before?" I asked rubbed my thumb over his pale hand, he shook his head and looked back down at our hands. "Has anyone even kissed you?" I asked intertwining our fingers together, he shook his head again, did anyone even show him love? "Did you like it?" I asked, he immediately nodded his head and squeezed my hand lightly, I smiled at him. After ten minutes Ana said dinner was done, I still had Gerard's hand in mind as we walked to the table and sat down next to each other. We held hands under the table as I ate, Gerard didn't eat anything which confused me but I didn't want to bring it up. After eating me and Gerard walked upstairs still holding each others hand, I led him to my room and shut the door. Gerard looked around my room at all the posters, he would light up at some of them, like Misfits and Black Flag posters. He made his way back to me and stared at me as he bit his lip which made him look sexy as fuck. I rested my hands against his sides, he flinched away scared as if I hit him, he calmed down a little when I let go. I slowly rested my hands on his sides again, he didn't freak out that time. I kissed him with all the force that was building up from earlier, he fell back I my bed with me on top of him. He panted against my mouth as we kissed, it make me even more turned on. He let out little whimpers against my mouth driving me crazy, he was going to bring me over the edge. "Fuck Gee." I moaned kissing his neck, I saw him blush from his nickname, I gave him a few hickies that he could easily hide, the bite mark work stay a day but makeup could cover it. He painted heavily under me as I kissed his neck, I wanted him badly. "I want to you babe." I said kissing him again, he nodded as we kissed, he wanted it to. "Are you sure?" I asked looking down at him, I didn't want to push him to do anything that he didn't want to do. He nodded his head and blushed extremely red, I leaned over and too my condoms out and my lube. He blushed even more and beared his face into his hands. I slid my pants off and then his, he was so submissive and it make me more turned on. I put my condom on and he followed slowly, I put a lot of lube in my hands and started to stoke his and my dick slowly, his back arched and he clenched the sheets. After a while I slowly turned him over and slowly pushed in letting him get use to the feeling. He was so tight around me as I thrusted in, I knew I was hitting his g-spot every time even though he didn't really make that much sound besides his panting. I felt his him tense up before coming, I came a few seconds later maoning loudly. We laid in bed panting heavily, that was amazing, Gerard nodded his head like he could read my mind. We cleaned up and then went to bed in my bed, he fell asleep really fast, I wrapped my arms stoke him and brought him closer as he slept. He whimpered and then settled in, I fell asleep minutes later to the sound his his breathing.

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