The Aftermath Of Death

Lindsey was sat crossed legged on franks bed whilst sipping from a white mug and looking thoughtfully at Frank. He was sitting opposite from her drinking a glass of orange juice. She sighed placing the coffee in a space between her thigh and calf. He smiled and raised an eyes brow ready for her to talk.

'Now that I've had a coffee we can begin.' Frank fixed himself to he was sitting up right. 'Let's start from the beginning what do you remember up until the point you blacked out?' Frank thought for a second at where to begin.

'I woke up at 8 and got ready as went to work. I got home at 5 and I...cried for an hour and then went out.' Frank said cringing at the fact he was telling Lindsey this and waited for her questioning.

'You cried? Why?' She seemed worried Frank could only imagine what was going through her head. Death, illness or accident. He smiled at her for reassurance and then began to explain. He had never told anyone about Gerard. When he was alive their relationship was a secret and so Frank felt like out of respect he didn't want to break the secret. But after a while he just liked the fact it was his own and no one pitied him because of it. It was like Gerard and him were something totally separate from the rest of the world and Frank likes it this way. But he guessed at one point he would have to tell someone no one could keep this inside for so long and not talk about it.

'It was the anniversary of a death. My ex's death.' Frank hated referring to him as an ex because that made it seem like he didn't love him anymore. 'He died ten years ago on Friday.' Lyndsey smiled sadly at him. 'He killed himself when I was 19. We had been together nearly 2 years and he died and I was devastated. I've never really gotten over it.' Lyndsey nodded putting her hand on Frank and smiled at him. He smiled back. 'It's in the past I know that.' He tried to convince her. 'But it just got to me. I realised how much I missed him and loved him still.' He shook his head. 'So I went to the nearest liquor store and I got drunk. Tried to make Myself feel better and when I woke up I was covered in mud and freezing.' He lied again still not fully sure if he could tell her about waking up in the graveyard.

'I'm guess you went to a woods or a park maybe? Got totally off your face and somehow stumbled home. Honestly I wouldn't worry about it. You were just scared.' Frank nodded smiling. 'Something still feels off doesn't it? I know when you're lying Iero.'

'I remember going to the graveyard. And I think someone was there with me, but apart from you and Ray and my mum. I don't talk to anyone. Nobody would have spoken to me unless they knew me.' Lyndsey nodded. 'Ahh, I don't know. Maybe I'm wasting my time. I've just never blacked out before. It was weird.' He collapsed onto his back and smiled up at her. She placed her cup on the floor and snuggled beside him.

'Yeah, I mean I black out all the time when I drink so I don't care about what I got up to as long as I'm home....I'm happy.' She sat up quickly eyeing the room before settling into her crossed legged position looking over Frank. 'Your apartment feels colder. Is the heating on?' Frank nodded. 'Yeah it's weird it's a lot colder than it usually is.' She said clambering off of the bed and offering a hand to help Frank up. 'I think we should go out. You aren't helping your situation by moping about the place. Come on! Get your coat!' She said skipping into his living area. Frank followed behind her. He was about to close his bedroom door when he thought he heard something. He scanned the room quickly but to no avail. He closed the door slowly. He really needed to get his mind off of everything.

'Lets go to a bar.' Frank mumbled as he pulled on his leather jacket. Lindsey was sitting on his hardwood floor tying up her converse laces quickly. She looked up at him with concerned eyes. 'Not to get drunk. I mean the noise, the music and the cheery atmosphere. It'll be nice.' She smiled down and finished tying her laces before bouncing up to be eye level with him.

'I know exactly the place.' She said dragging him out and only stopping to let him lock his door before she started dragging him around the bitterly cold streets of New York. The were at a steady pace and were winding in and out of the stream of people; tourists, businessmen, teenage girls. When you lived in a city for a long time you began to get use to the feel and flow of it. You could easily walk through a crowd of people and not barge shoulders with one of them. Well maybe that was just Frank. He was so little he was able to weave between crowds like a motorcycle in a traffic jam.

'Where are we going?' Frank pipped up once the hit an unfamiliar part of the city. He'd seen most of this place he'd lived here since he was 20 and he spent most of his adolescence taking the train into the city and spending the entire day here. Lindsey had lived here since she was 17 and so was as much of an expert as he was.

'This little pub.' Lyndsey muttered turning onto a street filled with smallish buildings, for New York anyway, which looked rustic and old.

'A pub?' Frank looked unconvinced, but still staggered behind her starting to get a stitch. He wasn't very fit and Lindsey was fast. Lindsey turned into this little brown building which glowed with warmth and light. There was bustle and friendly noise emitting from the place. Lindsey was already inside and Frank was just staring up at the place. It looked like something out of an old English novel. He stepped inside immediately being hit by the warmth, the sound of music and the smell of ale. The place was filled with people. It had a green and brown oak theme running through it and there was a bar which stretched the entire length of the building. Around was an array of miscellaneous and mismatched furniture which made the place feel like home. The feeling made Frank smile as he followed Lindsey up to the bar. Behind it was a large man who wore a flat cap and seemed like an off duty Santa. His greying beard looked itchy and uncomfortable, but he seemed happy enough.

'What can I get you?' He said to the Lindsey whilst chewing on a toothpick. He grinned as she ordered them both a coke.

'Coke?' Frank said trying not to show his disappointment. 'I was kinda hoping for a distraction Linds.' She shook her head whist she hopped onto one of the old bar stools.

'You said you weren't going to drink.' She said twisting herself in the chair. Frank shook his head getting out his wallet to pay the man.

'No, I said I didn't wanna get drunk. Drinking on the other hand is exactly what I wanna do, but I guess a coke will do just now it is only 4.' Frank was interrupted by his stomach groaning. Lindsey laughed turning to the guy behind the by who was preparing their drinks.

'Hey, do you serve food?' He nodded passing her the drinks and accepting the 5$ bill from Frank. Lindsey smiled and asked for a menu.

They were sat at the back of the old place now. They had ordered food and were sipping there drinks and making light conversation. Frank had finally convinced Linds to have a drink with him and even told her he would buy them the first couple of rounds. He was sipping his cold refreshing beer and relishing in how it instantly blurred his mind slightly and how the buzz from the alcohol made all his problems pop like bubbles and diminish nearly as quickly as his beer did.

'So you never even told anyone? Not a soul?' She shook her head lightly at Franks question. 'You just got up and left?' There was silence for a moment then they both burst into drunken giggles.

'And I'm not going back. Fuck working for a corporation. It was bringing me down. I can find work somewhere else!' She called jollily sipping her drink slowly. She was on her third, Frank...well he had lost count. There food had come and it settled there stomachs and the alcohol was soaked up meaning they were sober again and Frank wasn't happy.

'What are you going to do then?' Lindsey was an artist and she worked for this corporation as their brand designer and she hated it.

'Draw and create and be free. Open a gallery! I'll do what I want! Money isn't an issue.' Money wasn't for Lindsey she was paid highly by the company, but didn't live the luxurious life she could've afforded she put it all into savings. Lived in a tiny apartment and never splashed her cash.

'I'm glad. I love my job and I couldn't imagine working for people I despised.' Frank mumbled. They were sitting at the bar again drinking casually. Lindsey was back on soda, but Frank had moved into even stronger liquor.

'Speaking of. We need to go Frankie. You have work and I have...well nothing!' She smiled happily jumping down from her stool. Frank stayed though.

'You go get a cab, I'm walking distance, I'll wait a while and sober up a little and walk back later.' He tried to convince Linds to go. She smiled and dug out her phone.

'You sure? I could walk you back your apartment and then get a cab from there?' He shook his head hugging her lightly. 'If you're sure Frankie.' She said picking up her purse from the bar.

'Yes, I'm sure.' He slurred. She smiled kissing him on the cheek. 'Text me and let me know you get home safe.' He called out to her whilst she went out to call a taxi. When Frank knew she was gone he ordered a whiskey and gulped it down quickly. He did that two more times before he felt himself start to blur again. He staggered to the bathroom and leant against the sink breathing heavily. Suddenly Frank realised he wasn't alone in the bathroom when he heard a familiar voice singing.

'Sailors fighting in the dance hall, oh man look at those cavemen go.' Frank looked up to the mirror to look at himself. His eyes were old and tired and he looked much older than 29. He rubbed them slightly and pushed water into his face. 'It's on America's tortured brow. And Micky mouse has grown up a cow.' He smiled, he liked the song and the guy singing it had a wonderful voice. Frank realised now the singer was in one of the stalls. In his drunken state he began to hum along. He was still staring at his reflection. He pushed his hair off of his face and smiled. 'But the film is a saddening bore 'cause I wrote ten times or more.' Frank began to sing along swaying to the music and smiling. Gerard always loved Bowie. Suddenly one the cubical doors opened to travel the guy with the amazing voice. He was tall and slim. His feminine curves annunciated by his swaying hips. He was still singing and smiling down at Frank. He had petite features and pale skin. Though the bright lights of the bathroom could make anyone look pale. His black hair stood out against the pale skin and his green eyes were captivating.

It took Frank a moment or two too recognise him, but when he did he had to grip onto the sink again to steady himself.

'Gee?' The word slipped out of his mouth and he moved closer to him and suddenly everything from two nights previous came rushing back to him. The graveyard, the lilies and Gerard speaking to him and trying to comfort him the words and how his skin felt the same. How his breath tickled his ear and how he got so close to him he could've kissed him. It was like the memories hit him at the force of a train. Because at that Frank began to tumble and slip. Gerard caught him and cradled him slightly till he was fully standing again. 'Gee, you're here!' He smiled trying to grab him but he stepped back he wasn't smiling anymore. He looked angry and Frank couldn't bare it when Gerard was angry.

'Who was the girl.' He spat, Frank turned around to see who else was in the bathroom. They were alone. He turned back to him and he was breathing heavily his fist clenched. 'Frank. Who was she?' Frank still confused just shrugged unable to get words out. Then it hit him. Lindsey. He moved closer to Gerard trying to grab onto him.

'No, Gee, that was Linds...she's my friend. My best friend. We were just hanging out I promise.' Frank pleaded with him. Gerard softened a little letting Frank hold his hand. Frank swayed a little from the alcohol and rubbed his thumb against Gerard's cold skin.

'I trust you Frankie, but not her. Please don't see her again.' He said calmly smiling down at Frank. He nodded and agreed not really understanding and just wanting to be with Gerard again.

'Why are you here?' He said, Gerard opened his mouth about to reply when the door swung open. Gerard dropped Franks hand. The owner looked Frank up and down and knew immediately that he was pissed. He smiled and gestured to the door.

'It's closing time i am afraid. Time to go home I think.' He didn't even acknowledge Gerard and just watched as Frank moved out of the pub slowly wishing him a good night. Frank stumbled out onto the sidewalk and instantly sobered slightly from the cold air hitting him. He turned and expected Gerard to be beside him. He had so many questions to ask him so many ideas and possible theories. Ghost, faked death, found a way to go back in time and stop himself from killing himself. Frank turned and when Gerard wasn't beside him he was sure he had been there. He walked down the the street. Shouting out for him.

'Gerard? Come back.' He shouted and his voice echoed as it bounced of the concrete walls. 'Gee? Stop hiding.' He hiccuped from the alcohol and stumbled slightly. 'Gee please...' He leant against a wall still swaying and muttering. 'I can't loose you again.'

Frank had somehow found his way back to his apartment. He didn't know how but before he knew it he was lying in his bed. His legs numb from the cold and his hair greasy from the sweat. He mulled over the past few days trying to work out what had happened. Slowly, as he became more and more sober, he came to the conclusion that he had been hallucinating tonight and that someone must've spiked his drink. But that didn't explain the night before unless it was just his warped mind trying to fill in the blanks. He rubbed his eyes staring over towards the clock. '1:56' it read clearly and Frank groaned turning around and stared blankly at his bare bedroom walls. Trying to ignore his mind as it spiralled into a panic.

Notes

I'm ill in bed and thought that the only productive thing I could really do is try and get somewhere with this. I'm still not sure if I wanna continue it, but it I'll keep trying to get inspiration. Tell me what you think!

-C