The Aftermath Of Death

Lindsey didn't know what to do. He'd thrown up 5 times in the past half an hour and he hadn't said anything to her except a croaky 'thank you' when she got him a glass of water. He was currently passed out on her bathroom floor shaking and mumbling incoherently. Lindsey had gotten lucky. When she heard he'd left the hospital she knew he would go to get alcohol. He was an addict now, he couldn't help himself. She found him in the third bar she had checked. All she saw was him stumble into the bathroom whilst muttering to himself. She decided to wait until he got out so she can take him home and talk to him. But then she heard the screaming.

Franks screaming. It wasn't until they were in a cab home that he spoke again. He kept insisting someone was following them; that 'he' was going to get him.

'Lindsey!' He clawed desperately at her top and clung to her. 'Please help me.' The utter fear dripping from his words as he sobbed into her shoulder. The cab driver was too oblivious to notice as he bobbed his head along to the radio. 'He's coming. He wants me to kill myself.' Lindsey knew she had to stay strong. She understood that at this moment Frank was not himself; he was but a side of himself that he wished to never have occurred. She knew she had to keep her chin up. But when your best friend admits to you that he wants to kill himself and when that best friend is someone you may have feelings for then...then, at that moment, it's incredibly difficult to hold back the tears and prevent them from free falling down your cheek.

'He can't get you.' She whispered and kissed the top of Franks head. 'I won't let him.' He whimpered into her top and she could feel his heart hammering in his chest. Or maybe that was hers.

He was currently lying with his head in her lap as he slipped from consciousness and writhed uncomfortably on the bathroom floor. Lindsey didn't ever take her eyes off of him. She was there when he threw up every couple of hours and she helped him sip the glass of water and wiped his face and kissed his cheek and told him everything was going to be okay. She watched his chest go up and down and held his hand until she could see the sun come up through her bathroom window and she decided it was time to take him to bed. Frank complied. He shuffled, most of his weight supported my Lindsey's tall frame, through to her bedroom and lay on the mattress. Lindsey sat beside him and moved his sweat drenched hair out of his face. He smiled sadly up at her and moved over so he was on his side.

She had so many questions, but she knew he didn't have the answers; not right now anyway. She wanted to comfort him and be with him, but she wanted answers she wanted him to get real help. It was going to be a fight, but Lindsey was willing to do anything to get her Frank back. Smiling, happy, sarcastic Frank.

She smiled back at him and stood up declaring she was going to try and get some shut eye on the couch. That was when Frank grabbed her arm and pulled her back down. She sat back down on the bed and looked at him waiting for his question.

'Stay.' Frank muttered quietly. His mouth was dry and tasted of sick and he felt disgusting just opening his mouth. Lindsey smiled and placed her hand on top oh his side. 'You're tired aren't you?' He said softly.

'No. No, I'm fine.' She lied hoping that Frank would go to sleep soon so that she could let the tears and sobs that she was so desperately holding back escape. Frank shook his head and moved across the bed. Wincing when he lifted his head from the pillow. He was suddenly pulling her down beside him so that she could lay down.

They were facing each other and Lindsey could feel franks arms wrap around her and pull her close so that her head was laying on his chest. That was when she lost it. She began to cry loudly into franks chest. He didn't question her; he just wrapped his arms around her more tightly and moved closer so that she didn't feel so vulnerable anymore as she sobbed uncontrollably. Frank placed a kiss to her head and let himself close his eyes.

'Sleep. Linds, please go to sleep.'

~~~~~

When Frank woke up he was alone. Looking at the light from the morning sun felt like glass in his eyes. So he sat with his eyes closed trying to work out where he was and what had happened the night before. He felt around the bed and his pockets before he found his phone. He peered open his eyes to discover that it wasn't the morning sun that was blinding him, but the late afternoon light. 3:45pm was displayed on his phone. He groaned and scanned the room. He knew where he was immediately and decided that last night must've been an eventful one for him to have ended up in his best friends bed fully clothed and smelling of sick and stale alcohol.

When he had finally plucked up the courage to face Lindsey she was swaying around her kitchen cooking something that smelled delicious. The music was low and Frank couldn't make out what was playing, but Lindsey seemed to be enjoying it as she sang away to herself totally oblivious to the bystander. She turned quickly pulling something out the over and caught sight of him leaning against the door frame. His hair in disarray and his eyes squinting at the low light. She smiled sadly placing the tray of what looked like brownies down onto the kitchen surface.

'Hey! You look rough.' She said simply pulling out two mugs and filling up the kettle. He mumbled an agreement and sat down on the couch. The smell of coffee hit him before he could even register the cup being handed to him. He gulped the steaming hot liquid and cringed at the burn.

'Thanks.' He said hoarsely whilst she sat beside him and placed her cup on the side table. She sighed deeply and he seemed to sense the anticipation in her movements and he knew something was weighing on her mind. What had happened last night? He thought to himself as is best friend seemed to be having a battle with herself.

'I made brownies. I know you like them, we use to make them all the time.' She said obviously avoiding what was really on her mind. She picked up her cup and sipped it thoughtfully. Frank smiled down at her.

'They smell amazing.' He wasn't lying the smell was making his stomach lurch and his head spin. He had worked out that over the last 4 days he's eaten 2 and once was crappy hospital food. He needed something to eat, but he knew that Lindsey was harbouring something inside herself.

'We need to talk.' She whispered the emotion in her tiny voice evident and her watery eyes captivating Franks thoughts. He nodded not wanting to interrupt her. 'You said stuff last night and I think...you've been hiding things from me.' Franks heart plummeted to his stomach as he felt himself wanting to throw up the coffee he had just drank. 'The drinking. It's not just...casual is it. It's a problem, isn't it?' Her voice was bitter and it made Frank angry.

He had done this too her. He had made her upset through his silly and childish obsession with a dead man. He couldn't bare to see her like this.

'It's not a problem.' He lied. At this moment he was past lying to himself, he wasn't in denial. He was slowly killing himself and he knew it. But that didn't mean he wanted to drag her into it. He loved her too much to do that. However it seemed as if she had dragged herself into it.

'I want to help.' She wasn't looking at him, but down at her hands. He sighed.

'You can't.' He uttered truthfully. Because she couldn't take away his craving for him. His need for the man who was six feet under and she couldn't make him stop thinking about him. Unless...

'I'll do anything.' She pleaded desperately. 'I'll do anything to get you back, my Frankie.' She touched his cheek and smiled at him. He couldn't blame her for feeling this way, all she wanted was for her best friend to be okay, but that was never gonna be reality because he was fucked up and the only thing Frank could think of, that she could do, that would help him was unthinkable. 'Please.' She said again the fear in her eyes evident and then Frank remembered that she wanted him to get better. So maybe it was the right thing to do...

'Kiss me.' He said in a monotone voice that seemed so much louder than any other words that had ever passed between the two, not because he was shouting but, because those words were the two that ripped their friendship apart.

'What?' She breathed out in one go and snatched her hand away from him. He moved closer to her and she backed up until her back was pressed against the arm of her sofa, she was basically laying down and Frank was above her with both of his hands placed on either side of her head.

'Kiss me.' He repeated again. Not moving but staring at her intensely.

'Why?' A tear seemed to slip down her cheek and he caught it with his thumb.

'Because I need to feel something because all I can feel is the alcohol coursing through my blood and when I'm not drunk all I can feel is the absence of it. All I can feel is his kisses and his hands and I don't want to feel it anymore. I used to want it so badly, but now I don't want to drink and I don't want to see his face anymore or feel him.' He wasn't making any sense but Lindsey could feel herself becoming convinced. There was just silence as they just stared at each other. Lindsey didn't dare move or talk as she knew Frank wasn't finished.

'I see him.' It was too late to stop himself he was going to tell her everything. 'When I drink I see him. It's like my mind is wanting me to become addicted to the alcohol so they give me Gerard when I drink or maybe it's my subconscious trying to mask my addiction to the poison as an addiction to him to make me feel better.' He mumbled his thoughts aloud. 'At this point I don't know what I'm addicted to more. When he's there it isn't like a ghost. I actually believe it's him. I can smell him and feel him and kiss him.' Lindsey felt sick at what she was hearing. She closed her eyes and shook her head in disbelief. 'I know he's not real. I know he's dead, but when I'm drunk I get to be with him again, even if it is just some weird fucked up way of my mind trying to kill it self. And I'm addicted to it. I don't wanna be, but I am.' Frank breathed out slowly. 'I need to feel something else. Someone else.' He closed his eyes and took in a shaky breathe. 'Take him away.' He said quietly.

'How?' She said after a moment of silence. Her heart was racing and her mind was spinning. Frank could help himself now. He knew she wanted it and he wanted it too...he wanted to get rid of him.

'Kiss me.'

And she did.

Notes

Ahhhhhhh! If you read my other fic 'Bookworms Annonymous', which you should totally check out if you don't, you will know that I'm taking a break. (Sad face) But I will be back and I am so fucking sorry for leaving this on a cliff hanger. Well I'm not but? Anyway, I'll be back in June with more Bookworms, more Aftermath and my new Lonely Heart Club sequal, which you should also totally check out! What am I doing. Eh? I think I've always secretly shipped Frank and Lindsey idk why! But I have a theory that in every fandom we all have that one person we ship with everyone. For example: in Sherlock I ship Molly with everyone, in DW is ship Amy with everyone and in the bandom I ship Frank with everyone. Especially Patrick Stump idk why, but I really like the two of them together. Oh I might have to write a one shot about them. Anyway, I was rambling, see you in two months! But don't worry I have like 5 fics on this account that you guys can read while I am away and I will be back. Comment what you think!

-C