*A few weeks later*
We’re in Las Vegas, Nevada playing at the Orleans Arena. The band has a three more songs to play and then we are done. The shows have been going kind of rocky. Of course the fans and the meet and greets are amazing, as well as interviews and Tv specials, but the one thing that ruining it all is Gerard.
Whenever he get’s the chance, he makes a comment about me whether it be good or bad or even embarrassing. We’ll be doing an interview and all of a sudden he’s calling me pretty and adorable. If I mention something I don’t like he’ll call me a pussy or a loser. The worst of them all is that during almost every show, he imitates me or fucking jacks himself off in front of everyone and moans my friggin name. It pisses me off and makes me feel immensely bad for Mikey having to hear and witness that
I mean, of course I think Gerard looks flawless while he does it, with him being all sweaty and the way he moans out my name but that isn’t the point. The point is that not only is he doing that in front of a lot of under aged girls, but I never said it was okay to fucking jack off to me in front of hundreds to possibly thousands of fans with flashing phones and cameras taking videos and pictures of us.
I’ve told him to knock it off many times even though we’re necessarily not on talking terms again but he just doesn’t fucking listen. If I were to ever do that he would probably kill me. Am I just that easy to manipulate? Or is it that he knows i’m too much of a softy to actually confront him in front of everyone? Probably both. I just don’t understand what happened. When we were making The Black Parade, everything was normal. Well except the massive longing in my heart for him but I’ve felt that for so long that it has become a normal thing for me. We always made jokes and enjoyed each others company all around. What happened between the time we were in the studio to now?
Well for one, we had a fight at the beginning of the tour. Then he fucking used me, tried to ignore me, called me stupid, and told me to fuck off. Not only that but he did confirm that he is in fact not in love with me. At least I didn’t spill everything I feel about him only to have him tell me the feeling is not mutual though, right?
The song is over now and then we have two more songs to play. Right now we have a tuning break which is also usually the time Gerard does some sort of sexual shit. He can go ahead and do that but if he brings me up in any sort of way I will fucking act out. I don’t know what I’ll do but I know it won’t be good. I’m done with having people think i’m a pussy and can just take advantage of me. It’s time to stand up for myself for the first time in my life.
I finish tuning my guitar and decide to see what Gerard is doing to entertain the fans. I see him briefly look at me like he’s contemplating something then looks back at the audience. He then begins to talk.
“You guys wanna hear my impersonation of My lil baby Frankie?” The fans scream in response Oh god, what’s he going to do? “Ah...ngh oh Gee….” He begins to moan out, “Gee…Not so fast. I w-want you to make l-love to me.” He mimicks what I said from the other night. Okay, now i’m angry. Did that sound beautiful, yes of course. But that night meant a lot to me and then he just makes jokes about it and embarrases me in front of at least a thousand people acting like it was a meaningless thing when really, it means a shit ton to me. That’s it. I don’t care if there's only two more songs left, i’m fucking done being around an asshole.
The next thing I did even surprised me. My body took control of my brain and decided to show how angry I am. I took the guitar off me, raised it in the air slightly, then just fucking threw it. I’m pretty sure all the strings popped off and the neck broke but I really don’t care right now. The crowd went almost dead silent and all the band members just stopped and stared at me. Woah, over a thousand eyeballs are staring at me right now. I freeze in my spot, realizing what I just did then looked around at everyone.
Then I just ran. I ran back to the tour bus, stripped out of my costume then sat on the couch like nothing just happened. I would really love a few beers right now but I don’t want to get drunk and say something stupid that I might regret, especially after what I just did. I mean, leaving couldn’t be that bad, right? There was only two more songs left and it’s already hard to hear the music through the speakers so I guess it will be okay.
I don’t really want to be around any of them right now and the show is probably now over so I just go hide in the small bathroom. I feel like a little kid hiding from their mom so they don’t get in trouble but to me, that’s kind of amusing. I don’t know why, but I really don’t feel bad for running away. Of course I feel bad for the fans and everyone who came to watch but other than that, I feel a sense of accomplishment. I finally fucking stood up for myself. Was it at the right time? No, not at all. Do I realize this might be all over Twitter and the internet? Yes, I do. What's the worst that can happen, the guys yell at me and half of the fandom feels bad for me and the other half have a shitstorm? Oh well, it’s happened already and I can deal with it again. All I’ll have to say is ‘i’m sorry, I wasn’t in the best of moods.’ and it will be fine again.
I then hear the bus door open along with footsteps and voices. Maybe if I stay really quiet they won’t notice me. It’s silent again for a moment, assuming they are changing into pajamas.
“Hey, do you know where Frank is?” I hear Bob ask.
“No but his costume is on the floor near his bunk so he must be in here.” Ray answers with certainty in his voice.
“Frank?! Are you in the bathroom because the light is on!” Mikey shouts.
I decide to just get up and get the argument over with. I stand up, open the bathroom door and walk out to the living area. “What to you want?” I snap.
“We want to know what the hell that was all about.” Mikey says, taking a seat with the rest of them while i’m still standing.
“It’s about Gerard being an immature dick. I’ve fucking told him more than ten times to stop bringing me up when he’s jerking off in front of sixteen year old girls. Honestly dude, I’ve tried fucking off like you told me to do but you seem to be obsessing over me to an uncomfortable point.” I direct the last part to him.
I just see Gerard go tomato red and I giggle a little. He’s finally getting a taste of his own medicine. I continue with my statement, “Seriously, I don’t want to represent a band where the lead singer can’t keep his own dick in his pants and doesn’t listen to any of the other band members. It was fine when we were drunk all the time but seriously it’s time to grow the fuck up. We have people who look up to us and I don’t want to set a bad example.”
Everyone stays silent for a few seconds before Ray speaks up. “You know, Frank’s got a point. This whole band is a learning experience and an opportunity for us to grow. It’s about showing the fans to be strong and keep on living. Maybe instead of...pleasuring yourself, you could maybe give speeches about stuff like how you used to do.”
Mikey, Bob and I nod in agreement while Gerard looks like he might die from embarrassment. Now i’m starting to feel bad for him but I still feel accomplished. We really are just trying to help him. Suddenly, Gerard jolts up, grabs my wrist and brings me into the back room which is a place we set up for making music. We stay silent for a minute just staring at each other. There he goes again with his unreadable, but beautiful eyes.
“Why the fuck are you doing this to me?” Gerard speaks up, his voice somewhat weak.
“Gerard, I could ask the same thing.” I say with slight desperation in my voice.
I just want to know what I did to make him come off like he hates me.

Notes

Cliffhanger because I have many ideas for where this conversation can go and I want to have time to make sure it's the right decision. But I hope you liked anyways!!

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