But I Love You

It’s now lunchtime and since it’s Friday, we get pizza from this local pizza place and I have to say, it’s pretty good. I go to sit down and notice that Gerard is sitting at the table in front of me. He’s been a real asshole today to Mikey and I. I’m not sure why but it’s probably because of me. Although, I wasn’t the one who really did anything wrong last night. He was the one who kissed me, not the other way around. And he was the one to say that we shouldn’t be together yet...Or basically say that he didn’t trust me which made no logical sense.
I mean, he lets me live there for fucksake. His student is living with him and his baby brother, then he goes and says he doesn’t completely trust me. I trust him with my life...or at least I did.
Gerard looks really stressed. His hair is all over the place, he has bags under his eyes, and he’s wearing regular clothes. That’s never like him when it comes to dressing for school. He always wears a suit shirt and tie with tight jeans, which I have been taking advantage of because damn, he looks good in them. But now, he’s wearing an ACDC shirt with a pair of black skinny jeans. Of course he looks good in that too. Hell, he could wear rags and I would think he’s beautiful.
He sees me and gives me a small apologetic smile and waving in a way that no one else will notice. Man, what’s wrong with him? One minute he’s so kind and laid back, then the next minute, he’s angry and kind of scary to tell the truth.
Right before i’m about to wave back, Bob comes and sits across from me. Great!
“Dude, where the hell have you been? I called and texted you like ten billion times!” Bob says with a hint of angriness.
“I’m sorry, man….I’ve just got a lot of shit going on, ya know? I didn’t mean to keep you worried or whatever. I just needed some time to myself I guess.” I mean, it’s not completely a lie, right?
“You did have me worried. I thought you got hit by a truck...or a bunch of homeless druggies beat you or something like that.” He sighs with relief.
“Nope...Nothing like that.” I laugh.
“Then what were you so busy with that you had no time to tell me?”
“Well….Uh… You know. Trying to find jobs and somewhere to live. Things like that I guess.” I say trying not to seem like i’m lying. I am a really bad liar. But I have some good reasons why. One being that I only like honest people...Meaning i’m hating myself right now.
He looks at me and raises his eyebrows, “I guess that’s a good reason why. I wish you luck.”
“Thanks, man.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying our pizza. The whole time Gerard kept trying to get my attention, but i’m mad at him and I feel like this is the only way to show it. I’m not mad at him about last night, no, I am just confused and upset about it. I’m mad about the way he’s been acting towards me and especially Mikey. Like he said, we wants us all to be a family but he’s acting like the enemy. I’m fine with a little argument but when you bring other people into it, I get frustrated. I can tell Mikey means a lot to Gerard and vice versa, so I hate to see them fighting, especially when Mikey shouldn’t even be a big part in this.
“Oh, Frank I forgot to show someone to you!” Bob jumps up in excitement and runs to another table. Oh god...I have a feeling about where this is going to go.
Bob comes back with a familiar looking boy. “Frank, this is Bert McCracken. Bert, Frank.”
Bert sits down right next to me and Bob sits back down in his seat across from us. If Bob is doing what I think he’s doing, he made a bad choice. I’m not saying that Bert is bad looking. He’s actually kind of sexy, but just not my type. At this point, my only type is Gerard.
Bert has long, black hair, light blue eyes, has a little scruff, and wears eyeliner with black nail polish. He’s pretty skinny too. But by the looks of it, or my first impression of him, he looks like a complete psycho path.
He turns his head to me, looking me up and down, and smiles. “Not going to lie...You’re cute.” He admits.
I blush a little, “Thanks.”
He gives his attention back to Bob and while they talk, I figured that Gerard just witnessed all of this. I look at Gerard.
He has his jaw clenched and he’s staring at Bert with his eyes full of angriness and jealousy. God, I hope he knows i’m not this stupid to hook up with a guy, especially with him being right there to see it. Like that’s shit that your evil exgirlfriend does.
But then again, we don’t have a relationship and we never did. It would be innocent if i become flirty with Bert. So i’m going to do just that. I sit closer to him to get his attention. He looks at me and smiles.
“Watcha doin’?” Bert asks.
“Nothin’.” I answer.
“You’re so tiny...How do you manage with that?”
“I’m not tiny, i’m travel sized!” I say mockingly in defense.
“Yeah sure...So don’t I have gym with you?”
“Oh yah! That’s why you look so familiar.”
“Mhm. You don’t participate in it though.” He giggles.
“That’s because I hate getting sweaty and gross. Plus the gym teacher sucks.”
“You think so?”
“Uh...yes.”
Our conversation ends when we hear the bell ring, signalling to go to our next class. Bert turns to me before we leave the lunchroom and grins.
“It was nice meeting you, Iero.”
“You too...Maybe you should sit with Bob and I for now on.” I suggest.
“Yea, I’d like that.” He beams.
We walk our separate ways and I get to my class, which is math. It consisted of me blurring out the lesson and thinking about Gerard instead. By the end of the class I realized I did something wrong, accidentally...Kind of. I drew hearts with the first letter of mine and Gerard’s name inside of the hearts. They were all over the paper and the worst of it is it’s all in pen, meaning I can’t erase it.
Mr. Jones collected all of the other papers and now he is standing in front of me waiting for me to hand him my worksheet. I held it up a little with my head down and he snatched it out of my hand and looked at it, and then me. To say he was angry, was an understatement. He looked like steam was about to come out of his ears, and then he would explode into red dust.
“Mr. Iero this is not art class! Are you naturally like this, or do you train every morning?” He insults me in front of the whole class.
“I uhm...That wasn’t very nice, sir.” I say innocently. He just called me stupid. Ya my feelings are going to be hurt.
“I don’t care about how nice I am. You are not going to be daydreaming about your love bird in my class! As it is, you already have the lowest grade in here. You never do your math homework, and you never listen. You’re just a delinquent.” He says with disgust.
I hear another person clear his throat and I look over to see it’s the one and only, Gerard Way. It’s like he has superhero powers that could sense when i’m in situations like this. I swear he’s a fallen angel.
“I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to treat a student, isn’t it, Mr. Jones?” Gerard says firmly.
“Not really but…” Mr. jones trails off.
“But what?” Gerard is getting a look of protection.
“You have Frank. You know how he is.”
“Frank has the highest grades in my class out of the 112 kids I teach. I think we have completely different opinions on how he is.”
“That’s hard to believe.” Mr. Jones says under his breath.
“No, it isn’t. What’s hard to believe is that you called him a delinquent just because he doesn’t like this class. In fact, no one likes this class. It’s boring and dull, just like your personality.” He insults Mr. Jones. The students know better than to talk or even make a sound. Gerard hasn’t been like this since that time this jock cheated on the final exams, but that’s not important anymore.
“This class might not be how they want it, but it’s about the education. He wasn’t doing anything that was asked of him. Instead, he decided to daydream and write hearts all over his paper.” Mr. Jones holds up my paper and Gerard instantly grows a smile when he realizes what the letters in the hearts stand for.
“Stop trying to squash love, Mr. Jones. You probably have been all your life and look how you ended up.” Mr. Way says with a light blush. I can’t help but giggle at what he said because it’s just so true.
Mr. Jones looks down at me and rolls his eyes in disapproval, then back at Gerard, “Why are you being so protective and defensive over Frank anyways?”
“I would be like this over any student I saw getting put down.” The lie slips out his mouth easily.
Finally, the bell rings meaning it’s time for my next class, which is of course, english.
As I walk to his class, I see Gerard running to his room to make it on time before any of the students. We have a locker break right now but I already have my stuff.
I walk in and see Gerard sitting down at his desk, organizing a little. I go over to me desk and sit down and he looks up at me and smiles.
“Hey, cutie.” He beams.
“Don’t call me that, Mr. Way.” I say with frustration.
“Wh-why not?”
“You’re an asshole.”
“How?”
“You were being so mean to me and Mikey this morning. I understand everything about last night but don’t take it out on your little brother.”
“I thought I just made that up to you with what just happened in math. After I saw all those hearts on your paper and realized what it all meant, it was so hard not to go over to your desk and kiss you.”
“I wanted a kiss last night but you decided that it wasn’t a good idea and that you don’t trust me.”
“Frankie, I do trust you. I trust you with all my heart. Just...haven’t you ever heard of these kinds of relationships? They don’t work out well most of the time.”
I don’t know what to say, so I just stayed quiet. I think the conversation is over, but then I hear his voice again.
“At least I wasn’t the one flirting with someone else, right? We are both pretty equal.”
“I wouldn’t consider that flirting and you and I were never together, so it’s harmless.”
“But your mine.” He states calmly.
“The hell does that mean?”
“You’re my student. I let you live in my house. I’m older than you so I have more control over you, meaning more dominance. You’re mine and you’ll never be anyone else's.”
“Okay...What does this all mean?”
“It means that i’m telling you to stay the fuck away from that slut you were sitting next to, and anyone else who tries to get you to fuck them. If I see you not doing what I say, there will be consequences.”
I nod, “I’ll listen.”
Once locker time is over, everyone files into the class finding their seats. Class didn’t consist of much really. We just went over some major parts in Divergent and wrote notes on characterization. I’m still pretty upset over Gerard, but we cleaned up the mess a little. Plus the fact that he said all those things about me being his, turned me on. It seems like things are finally starting to go into place, slowly.

Notes

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