But I Love You

I had just finished helping out Gerard clean off his desk and sort papers. It took a while because he is a very unorganized man, so for a reward I got one of the cupcakes we made last night to have for lunch. Gerard has been letting me pack a lunch because he knows how shitty school lunch is, but since we woke up extra late this morning, I didn’t get time to make a sandwich.
Before I was about to leave, he gave me a little kiss on the forehead and a hug. While I was hugging Gerard, something in the corner of my eye caught my attention. It was a person standing in the door frame, and I immediately knew who it was. Right when I look over to where the person was standing, they run away. I let go of Gerard and take my cupcake, trying to ignore Gerard’s confusion.
“Slow down, buddy! What, do I stink or something?” Gerard jokes.
“Uh no it’s just that I forgot I had a really important test to study for. See you later!” I explain quickly as I leave the room and run down the halls to catch up with the person, which I can see is going out the backdoor probably to have a smoke.
I don’t know what I was about to get myself into. One part of me felt like I could trust them or something, but the other part felt like I should just completely ignore it. But I knew I couldn’t. I can’t risk me and Gerard’s future over something like this. Hell, we’re not even together at the moment.
There he was, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it. Bert McCracken.
I know he hurt me and might hurt me again right now, but I need to make sure the whole fucking school doesn’t find out. I run over to him, hesitantly tapping his shoulder then quickly backing up a few feet before he turned around.
He see’s me and laughs. “Nice choice in men, Frankie.”
“Whatever Bert...You can’t tell anyone. Please. You know what would happen if the school finds out, and I can’t let that happen to him. He has dreams of becoming different things and it would be all my fault if he doesn’t get to do it.” I say in a begging voice.
“Dude, I already fucking knew. It's obvious really. I’m not as stupid as I look.” He says in kind of an offended tone.
“What?! How?” I say, starting to panic.
“It’s not obvious to everyone but it sure as hell is to me. When I beat you up, which i’m actually really sorry for doing now that I think about it, he was the first one to get up and do something. His whole vibe was just saying “protect Frank”. Then when he picked you up, it was in a very loving way and I heard him say ‘no one hurts My Frankie.” He rambles on.
I stand there, stunned. Maybe this is why I felt like I could trust him. He knew about it for at least a week and told no one. It seems like all this time Gerard was being the risky one and I was actually was being really good at keeping it a secret. It almost makes me feel bad that I just stopped talking to Bert, even though he did hurt me and what not. But he also just said he’s really sorry. I don’t know, everything is starting to get too confusing for my liking.
“Oh and not to mention that day I saw you in the mall and Mr. Way just happened to be a few seats away from you and you guys were eating the same exact thing. Then all of a sudden he just comes over when I do, and starts asking me what’s most important in life to me. For your sake, I played dumb.” He gives me a wink.
“O….kay...Well about being sorry for hurting me, why the hell did you do it?” I ask, desperate for answers.
“I wanted to know for sure I was right about something going on between you two. I saw Mr. Way in there too so I decided then would be a perfect time to confirm it, which worked out nicely. I can get really out of line when I know i’m about to hurt someone. Plus I was high as fuck. Also, i’m especially sorry about kissing you. I didn’t plan that. I’m a horny teenager who thinks you have very kissable lips. Shoot me.” He giggles, taking a drag from his smoke.
I blush a little, putting my head down to hide it. “Shut up McCracken. Does this mean you’re going to keep this a secret then?”
“Yep. I don’t give a shit, man. Live your life the way you want to, ya know? You only get one shot at life so go nuts.” He shrugs.
I chuckle, nodding in agreement. This is what I like about Bert. He comes off as a sarcastic jackass, who’s insane but he really is a good person. It could be all the drugs he takes or something though. I guess some days I like him and some days I don’t. I think Gerard should really consider getting to know Bert better because I still would like to be his friend even though in such a short period of time, he really caused a lot of damage. But again, it’s most likely because of the drugs. I think if he weren’t on all of those, Bert would be a very kind person.
“Why don’t ya see we ditch the rest of the day? I have more important things to do than being yelled at because I fell asleep in class.” Bert suggests.
“Well I don’t know...Gerard would be really upset if he found out.” I say with an unsure voice. I never really ditched school during the middle of the day. Yes, there has been times where I didn’t bother to go but I wouldn’t consider that ditching.
“Oh come on, Frankie. Live a little!” He encourages me more.
“Fine. But I need to grab my backpack.” I give in, wanting to see what he has to do that more important.
“Well you’re not. That will increase our chances of being caught. Besides, what so important in their, homework?” He starts walking away from the school.
“Kinda!” I yell as I catch up to him.
We start walking away from the school and down a path I’ve never been to before. It seems to go on forever but it’s beautiful. There’s different colored trees with birds chirping and animals playing in the trees. It’s a very relaxing place, really.
“Where are we going, anyways?” I ask.
“You’ll see.” Is all he says.

After a full hour of walking, we are both worn out but Bert said we are at the destination and can get a car ride back home. We are in a dark alleyway which is scaring the hell out of me. Why the fuck did we waste our time walking all this way to be standing in the middle of a smelly, rat infested alleyway? Something doesn’t seem right.
I get interrupted from my thoughts when I hear an unfamiliar voice call out Bert's name. He runs over and they greet each other. He is around the same height as Gerard, has short brown hair, and big brown eyes. Not bad looking if I do say so myself.
“Who’s this?” The guy asks.
“That’s Frank. He’s sorta my friend I guess.” Bert introduces me.
“Nice to meet you. The name's Brendon.” He greets me.
I nod, staying quiet because I feel sort of uncomfortable. I wish Bert told me where we were going first because if I were to have known, I would’ve stayed at school and not risk getting in trouble with not only the principle but Gerard also. I really have other important things to worry about, like Mikey being okay and making sure Gerard doesn’t actually kill him when he goes home.
Once again, i’m startled when I see Brendon and Bert secretly exchanging something. Hang on a minute...Is that?
“Why the fuck did you bring me with you for something like this?! I’m really not in the mood to go to jail at the moment.” I snap and try to walk away but Bert grabs me.
“Slow down, Iero. Yes, this could be very dangerous, but we ourselves are not dangerous people...Well maybe sometimes-” Bert tries to explain but get’s cut off.
“What this stupid bitch is trying to say is we are just people who like to have a good time. What’s the harm in that?” Brendon explains for Bert.
“Well when you put it that way, nothing. But there’s other ways in having a good time. More healthy ways.” I say with a bit of regret in my voice from snapping at them.
“Like what?” Bert asks. Is he serious?
“For example, I hang out with Gerard and his brother Mikey. We have a blast together. Maybe you don’t have a relationship or something but hanging out with people who you enjoy spending time with can be really fun. Like, you guys can hang out together but not with the drugs and booze. What if something happened to you, or even you died? It would be a horrible thing for your family to say that their son died a druggie and an alcoholic.” I ramble, starting to think about my mother and father, how much they affected me.
Brendon looks at me intensely, “You're a deep kid, you know that? Why don’t we hang out for a while and talk?” He suggests.
We all agree and start talking about nothing in particular. They still smoked though, but it wasn’t enough to get high. I guess that’s just what addiction does to you. I learned that Brendon was actually an extremely funny guy. I haven’t just sat down and hung out with people in what seems like forever, so it was really nice to have the opportunity to do that and even meet new people too. I feel a little guilty that Bob wasn’t here but then again, I didn’t plan this and i’m really scared to talk to him. I feel like I’ve talked to him so little compared to how much I used to. We don’t even see each other at lunch anymore because Gee let’s me eat in his classroom with him. I feel like I should wait awhile to even try to talk to Bob again because like I said, I have really other important things to deal with, like Mikey and Gerard, and also Gerard not finding out that I hung out with Bert.
It seems like only minutes went by, but when I got into Brendon’s car for him to drive us back home, I realized it had been hours. Hours even after school. I didn’t notice that it twas night time because the alleyway was so dark already. I also noticed the 16 missed calls from Gerard, and text messages from him.
From Gee <3 @ 2:30: I’ve been waiting in the car….
@ 2:40: Okay well i’m just gonna guess that you walked home. Gonna leave now.
@ 3:10: Okay so you're not home….not answering me either. Please tell me if u r ok <3
@4:00: Did I do something to make you upset with me? If I did, making me worry like this is not a good way to deal with it.
4:47: Okay fuck this and fuck you. I’ve tried looking for you but you're nowhere. Just sleep on the fucking streets all night. I don’t give a shit anymore.
Then I got one immediately after that.
4:49: I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Frank, i’m really fucking scared now. There’s already a lot of shit going on and I didn’t want to worry you about it til you got home but now i’m worried you're not coming home. Please, sweetie. I love you so much. You don’t even know it. All I need is a simple text or call saying you're okay. Please <3
Then for the last hours up until now, I’ve been getting texts with just heart emojis and “I love you’s” At this point, I felt kind of scared to answer back if i’m okay or not because then he’ll ask me a fuck ton of questions that I’d rather wait to answer till I think of a lie to say to him.
With all this worrying, I didn’t realize that we were back in our side of town. I said my goodbyes to Brendon and Bert, then let them drop me off at a gas station right up the street from Gerard’s house. I walk rather quickly, nervous about what else is going on that he wants to wait to tell me.
When I reach the house, I hesitantly knock on the door. It opens almost right after I knock and before I know it, i’m swooped up in his arms, being twirled around in a bone crushing hug.
“Oh god. Oh god, Frankie. Don’t ever do that to me again. I need you more than I realized. I love you. I love you so fucking much. I just…. Love you.”

Notes

Ayyy! lol I just love cliffhangers. I was so excited about these coming chapters that I decided to post another chapter on here instead of my other story, but if your subscribed to the other one, expect an update by next week! I hope you liked this chapter! I would love to hear some opinions on Bert and what you think Frank will find out in the next chapter!
Thanks for reading, love you guys!