Touch Him Again, And I'll Kill You

It’s almost frightening how fast six months can go. One second, I was crying over Gerard, the next i’m finally getting my shit together, and now i’ve been together with my boyfriend Max for almost two months. I didn’t think I was going to get better, I really didn’t. I thought I would be dead before I ever got over Gerard, but now here I am, walking home with Max after school.
Max was not my type at all. He played football, and liked video games, and wore basketball shorts almost every day. He was nothing like Gerard, and that was what made me like him. I didn’t love Max. Not like I loved Gerard. That wasn’t even a possibility. But I was happy with Max. He made me smile, he always made sure I had had enough to eat, and he always held my hand when he knew I needed it. Max was a great guy, and he was what I needed.
Max and I met the day I decided to get my shit together. He was new to our school, and was very openly gay. No one picked on him for it though, because he made up for it in football. He was the best player they had, and plus, he would kick their asses if they did. He was perfect for me in the sense that he made me feel safe. My relationship with Gerard was toxic. We were destroying each other, and it wasn’t healthy.

“Your hands are so sweaty. It’s cute.” Max chuckled at me, his blonde hair falling into his face. He didn’t try and fix it, though. Gerard would have fixed it.
I rolled my eyes and blushed. “I can’t help that it’s hot in here. Maybe they should fix the air conditioner.” I said, defending myself while nervously chewing on my lip ring that was ice cold. I wasn’t hot at all. I was freezing, but my nerves were acting up. It was exactly six months ago today that Gerard broke my heart. I was on edge.
“That’s why you have goosebumps?” Max broke my small train of thought.
“My body confuses itself.” I quickly said. He just smiled down at me, and looked forward again, his light blue eyes focusing on the small cup of coffee in front of him.
I did the same when I noticed that he wasn’t going to look at me again. I glanced down at the small red cup in front of me and saw that it was almost empty.
“I’m gonna go get some more. Do you want anything?” I asked him. He shook his head.
“No thanks, Frankie.” I felt my blood run cold and I stared at him.
“Sorry. No thanks, Frank.” He corrected himself. I slowly got up from my seat, and made my way over to the front counter and got in line.
When I got to the front, I ordered my coffee.
“Name, please?” She asked me in a sweet voice.
“Frank.” She quickly scribbled it down on a cup, then I paid, and walked to the other side of the counter where she would put it when it was done.
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and pulled it out. I heard the door of the cafe ding, meaning someone had come in, but I paid no attention to it.
Jamia had texted me, so i typed out a quick response, then immediately froze when I heard a familiar voice. I would recognize that voice anywhere. I was terrified to look up.
“Just a large black coffee, please.”
My heart was beating rapidly and I couldn’t bear it anymore. I slowly looked up and there he was.
He was standing at the counter, facing the barista, counting out a few dollars from a wad of cash he had in his hands. He looked so different, I almost didn’t recognize him. His once black hair was now long and red, and his usual leather jacket was replaced with a white hoodie. He was had finally counted enough money to pay.
“Frank!” I quickly looked at the barista, as she set my drink down. When I turned back around, he was staring right at me. His face was blank, but his eyes were like wildfire. Crazy and untamable. I quickly picked up my drink, and made a beeline for the door. I would apologize to Max later, but I couldn’t be here right now. I walked out the door, and was almost away from the cafe before I heard my name being called. “Frank!”
I didn’t look at him. I kept my head low and started walking faster. It was freezing out and I had left my jacket with Max, but I couldn’t turn around. “Frank stop!”
I didn’t listen, I kept walking.
I felt a hand on my wrist, and i turned around quickly, dropping my coffee onto the floor.
“What?! What do you want from me, Gerard?!” I screamed in his face, biting back tears.
I was up close to him now, and I could see every small flaw in his face, but it only made me want him back even more. His face looked younger, and I just wanted to kiss him and never let him go again, but I held my ground.
He didn’t say anything to me, he just watched me. Watched for what I would do next.
I pulled my wrist out of his grip, and turned away from him, walking back toward the cafe. I needed to be with Max. I needed to get away from Gerard before I fell in love with him all over again.
I heard him let out a shaky breath as I walked away from him, but he didn’t try to stop me.
I made it a few more steps before I stopped and looked back at him. He was staring at me, and he looked like he wanted to say something, but he kept quiet.
I didn’t move. I just stood there, looking at him.
I was shivering from the cold. I heard the cafe door open, but I didn’t look. I held full eye contact with Gerard, scared that if I looked away, he would be gone and I would never see him again.
I felt something warm around my shoulders and heard Max say “Frank what’re you doing? It’s freezing out here. Come on, sweetie. Let’s go inside where it’s warm. He obviously hadn’t noticed Gerard, while I never stopped noticing him. Max leaned down, and I felt him kiss my cheek, before he wrapped his arm around my waist and started leading me toward the cafe. I turned back to look at Gerard, and he was gone.

Notes