"LynZ!" Halsey calls out. I uncover my eyes and see LynZ emerging from the water, her hair sticking to her neck. I try not to notice what she's wearing as Halsey says "There're guys around! You're insane!"
"That's the point!" LynZ yells. She sweeps her arm toward her and says "C'mon, live a little, Hales!"
Halsey looks around at Andy, Frank and I and sighs. "I'm going crazy. Some of her crazy has rubbed off on me," she says and she slips out of her clothes. She places them next to LynZ's and slowly wades into the water. "Holy shit! It's cold!" Halsey exclaims.
LynZ grabs Halsey's arm and pulls her into the water and Halsey screams. LynZ laughs as Halsey immediately resurfaces and splashes water onto LynZ.
Andy sighs and says "It's senior year. Why the hell not?" He sheds his clothes, keeping on his boxers, and goes in with the girls, earning a cheer from LynZ.
"Frankie! Gee! Your turn!" Halsey calls to us. Frank and I exchange a horrified look and Frank reluctantly yanks his jacket off. He pulls his black t-shirt over his head and Andy wolf-whistles.
Frank flips Andy off as he slides off his black Converse and jeans. He places his socks in his shoes and his arms lock around his body as I watch the hair on his arms stand up on end.
"If you don't hurry, Gee, Imma come out there and pull you in, clothes and all!" LynZ threatens.
"I'd like to see you lay a finger on him!" Frank yells and moves the water. He wades in and Andy cheers loudly.
LynZ immediately gets out of the water. Her red underwear sticks to her wet body as she makes her way over to me. The closer she gets, the more I can tell that she has scars all over her body, on her thighs and arms and shoulders. She grabs my arm and pulls me from my sitting position. My heart beats painfully against my chest as she wiggles the jacket off of my body and discards it next to Frank's clothes.
"Gee, if you're uncomfortable, you can tell me," she whispers, her fingers locking in the fabric of my shirt. She stops for a second and looks into my eyes. "I won't be offended."
I look down at the ground and shrug. "I just kind of have too much stomach," I say at barely a whisper. "Baby fat. I don't like it."
She examines my body for a second before saying "Gee, you are beautiful. And I see nothing wrong with you. You have nothing to worry about."
She slowly pulls my shirt over my head, giving me time to back out. I hiss in a breath through my teeth as the fabric leaves my stomach and I squeeze my eyes shut. "Do you want me to stop?" She asks. Her voice is low and beautifully soft as she speaks.
I blindly move my hands on top of her's and pull my shirt over my head. She pulls her hands back and applauds a bit as I set the shirt down on top of my jacket. I pull my shoes and socks off, and LynZ looks away as I pull off my jeans.
I breath hard as she takes my hand in her's and leads me to the water's edge. "You're fine," she says as we wade in. Halsey's right—the lake's freezing. "Gee-baby, you're okay."
There's silence from the group as we make our way over to them. Eventually, we're in front of them and Halsey says "Good job, Gee."
I hold onto LynZ's hand hard as we swim around for a little bit, getting use to the temperature of the water. The only sound for a few seconds is the lapping of the water and the crickets on the shore.
Finally, Andy speaks. "So, Gee. Let's play 20 questions." He says.
"Alright," I say nervously.
"Question 1: do you believe in luck and miracles?" Andy asks.
I shake my head. "No. I believe in aliens, though."
"What kind of aliens?" Frank asks. "'Cause I've been trying to tell these dimwits that the stereotypical antennaed aliens do not exist."
"Like, single-called amoebaes and stuff like that. Not intelligent life, that's for sure." I say.
"Question 2: what good thing happened to you this summer?" Halsey asks.
"Umm..." I start. "I was in the hospital for a little while but I got out a week before I started school. I guess that was good."
"Question 3: why were you in the hospital?" Frank asks quickly.
I suck in a breath and grip LynZ's hand. "I... Uh... Tried to kill myself and I had to go to the hospital so they could help. Some—some other stuff happened, too."
There's more silence as they digest my words. LynZ nods in understanding and asks "Question 4: what do you want to do after high school?"
"Comic books," I say immediately. "I want to work with art and make comics and stuff like that."
"That's awesome!" Andy exclaims. "None of us are quiet sure what we want to do."
"I want to be in a band," Frank says. "Ever since I was 11, I've always wanted to be in a band."
I nod and the conversation lulls off as someone thinks of another question. "Okay, question 5: how many pillows do you sleep with?" Frank asks. He moves his wet hair off of his forehead and scratches the back of his neck as I answer.
"Just one. For my head," I say. Everyone laughs a bit and Frank asks "Who's the first person you talked to today?"
I think back to this morning and say "Mikey."
"Oh, yes. One small detail about Gee that we neglected to tell you, Andy," Halsey says. "He's Gerard Way. Mikey's Way's brother."
"The Mikey Way?" Andy asks incredulously. "Like, wildly popular Mikey Way?"
I nod. "I had no idea he was popular," I say. "Or that he was as widely hated."
"Your brother is not a good man to people like us," Andy says. Then, sensing my confusion at the 'people like us' comment, he adds "The freaks. The outcasts. The emos. The punks. We have a lot of different names. The ones who really don't fit in anywhere."
"Mikey's usually really nice, though," I argue. I refuse to believe it until I see it with my own eyes.
"Except when he's not," Halsey says.
"Okay, can we move on?" I ask irritably.
"Sure. Ever been to a bonfire party?" Frank asks and exchanges a look with LynZ.
"No. I haven't," I answer. LynZ smiles next to me and asks "What should you be doing right now, instead of swimming in the Passaic river with three freaks?"
"Probably sleeping," I answer. They all laugh again before asking more questions.

---

"Bye, Gee!" LynZ calls, poking out from the sunroof again. She waves at me, her sweater flapping in the breeze. I wave back and quietly slip into the house. Even though it's before curfew, Mom is probably asleep.
"So!" Mikey calls from the living room and I jump. "You were hanging out with LynZ and Frank."
"And Halsey Frangipane and Andy Biersack," I add. Mikey rolls his eyes and stands up from his place on the couch.
"I thought I told you not to hang out with them," he tells me.
"Yeah, and I thought you were a nice guy," I say. "We both thought wrong, apparently."
"What?" Mikey asks.
"They told me about you," I say. "How you're horrible to people like them."
"Gee, you have to understand: hanging around these people will only make bad things happen," Mikey says, putting his hands on my shoulders. He scrutinizes me for a minute and says "Your hair's wet."
"What are you talking about?" I ask. I thought my hair had dried enough.
"Your hair is not dry. What did you do with them?" Mikey asks, picking up a lock of my hair. I bat his hand away and say "We went to see Jurassic World."
"Liar," Mikey says immediately. "What did you really do?"
I shove his hands off of me and start off to the the stairs. "You're walking funny!" Mikey says. "What did you guys do?"
Crap. I look down at my jeans and curse the still-wet boxers underneath. "We saw the movie and went to the river for a few minutes." I say.
"Oh, the river!" Mikey exclaims. "That's where you went!"
"Yeah. What's the big deal?" I ask. I'm halfway up the stairs before Mikey says anything.
"I don't want you to get hurt again," he says. "I'm worried about you hanging out with LynZ 'cause she could be triggering."
"Sure, that's why," I say. "Mikey, I'm fine! I'm not gonna hurt myself. I'll be fine with LynZ and Frank and them."
"Gerard, I'm really worried about you," he says, racing up the stairs and grabbing my wrist. "I've noticed things about you since you've gotten home."
"Noticed things," I mutter as I roll my eyes. "You almost never pay attention to me."
"Yeah, but when your baby brother tries to kill himself, you start to pay attention to him," Mikey says. "And I've noticed that you hardly eat anymore."
"Wanna know what LynZ said to me tonight?" I ask. Mikey shakes his head and I keep talking. "She was helping me get undressed and I told her that I thought I was too fat. She looked at me and told me that I was beautiful. I've only known her a day and she's shown more compassion towards me than you ever have. Don't try to act like you care now. You never cared until I was in the hospital."
"Gerard—" Mikey starts but I talk over him.
"You didn't give two shits about me until I tried to kill myself." I say, anger boiling in my stomach. "I don't know why I didn't see it before— you don't even treat your own brother right. No wonder everyone says you're such an ass. It wasn't until I had a seizure— a seizure that left me partially paralyzed— that you started to treat me right. You know, Frank noticed my finger and my mouth. I had to lie to him about why that happens to me. I had to lie to one of my friends, Mikey."
"Gerard, quit," Mikey says. His voice is shaking but I can't tell if it's from anger of sadness.
"I told them I tried to kill myself," I say. "I couldn't bring myself to tell them that I had a seizure."
"Stop it," Mikey demands.
"They didn't start to treat me any differently once I told them that. They treated me like a regular person. I wish you could do the same." I say. And with that, I wrench my arm out of his grip and escape up the stairs.

Notes

tbh, I've already written up until Ch. 13. I'll probably be posting a chapter every morning and evening until Friday; I'll be out of town, visiting family. Remember that comments are highly encouraged! xo