Privilege of the broken ones

"Gerard!" Mikey shouted while laughing. His brother was officially of the rails. Not only was he of the rails,he was out of his fucking mind.
"You can't break into schools that your crush is attending." Mikey proclaimed with a snort which came unexpectedly and it sounded like he was mocking his brother,but he really wasn't and his brother knew that.
Gerard was walking up and down Mikey's room making not only Mikey nervous but probably the spiders that lived in the corner of Mikey's bedroom.
There was even this one occasion when Mikey decided to spare the life of a spider that was crawling up his band posters on his wall. He didn't even know why,he wasn't really a fan of spiders but he decided to prolong this particular spiders life. He even named the spider. He named him Pete.
Gerard saw that Mikey was no longer listening to his crazy plan,so he started snaping his fingers in front of his brothers face so that he could continue with his plan.
"Mikey,listen up! I need some of your clothes so i could fit in the school hype,y'know." Gerard said while making hand gestures like he was making an invisible ball.
"School hype? Dude,you're twenty one. You're not that fuckin old and for fuck's sake,go in your own clothes. It's not like anyone will be looking at you." Mikey said with a smirk because he knew this will only warm up Gerard into one of his confidence boosts which was great because Gerard felt like garbage most of the time.
"Oh,really? Look at me. Please,be objective. Look at fucking me. I look fucking superb and by the way my ass looks great in this skinny jeans." He said that while shaking his little ass in those jeans. Gerard was weird,but sometimes he was of the scale weird.
"I firmly believe that you won't fit in that school that you'll break into." Mikey continued with his persuasion. "I belive that you just don't look like-"
"Like what?" Gerard protested.
"Like a catholic type of guy." Mikey frowned his face while saying this particular sentence.
"Mikey,for real. I could pass as a completely catholic straight dude. Or wouldn't I?" Gerard said smirking and fixing his hair that looked perfect to anyone else but him.
"Dude no,you look like the guy that's gonna break into a school to get some attention from a teenage boy,who by the way I haven't met yet,so you can get laid because we all know you haven't gotten any in a long time now..."
"Mikey,please don't go there." Gerard said with his vision blurry because tears were about to show up if they continued to talk about this.
"Sorry,Gee. Didn't mean to." Mikey apologized in a matter of seconds.
"But you're completely right. I am totally getting something out of that boy and it sure as hell is not getting laid because we are taking it slow." Gerard explained in a simple matter.
"Does he know you are taking it slow?" Mikey said with a giggle.
"Oh,will you shut up? I am just going for a kiss or something. But if he turns me down and i maybe misunderstood his actions than i am going to back away and never talk to him again. I know how to take a no for an answer. Unlike some other people."
Gerard frowned at the thought of all the people that were assertive or even worse the ones that raped. He's unfortunately seen people acting that way,he's never seen someone rape someone else and he hoped that he never will. He did 't undetstand how people took pleasure in molesting another person and he presumed he never will.
Consent was not only fucking romantic,it was fucking needed.
Mikey saw his brother in the reflection of the mirror that Gerard was standing in front of. Mikey decided to make a joke out of this because it really took a dark turn. "Gerard Way,the catholic boys hunter. Watch out kids because he's coming for you." Mikey started to giggle in the middle of the sentence because it sounded even dumber in his head.
That sentence caused a flying blue pillow that smacked Mikey righy across his face.
Gerard took a lot of fun while doing that. His black coat and black outfit really did not suit the catholic school he was going to 'invade'. Mikey giggled because there was about houndred percent chance they wore uniforms. Gerard wouldn't even pass as a proffesor. Mikey figured it would be suitable to share that information with his brother.
"You know,they probably wear uniforms." Mikey laughed under his breath.
"Oh shit." Gerard proclaimed.
Mikey nodded like he solved every problem there is on this earth.
Gerard turned around to face his brother,all wide-eyed. "I need to get one." He said with a huge grin.
"You're crazy." Mikey finally concluded.
Gerard smiled while smoothing those goddamn stranda that 'sticked out'.
"You could say crazy in love."
That was the point where his brother was choking out of laughter.
-
Frank.
Frank felt like someone has been pressing his chest for the whole night and it was really hard to find a way to breathe. Besides the fact that his breathing problems were not okay,he had a wicked ass dream last night and that was a major problem because the only dreams he remembered were nightmares and they were never nice. Not even remotely. He after many nights of having only nightmares finally figured that he really can't remember any nice dreams. Not even the wacky ones were you are dressed as a stay at home puffy marshmallow man in a pink city made of cotton. He didn't know where he heard that one,probably on a Tv show or something.
The dream was even weirder than usual.
The atmosphere was dark and it seemed like it was about to rain any second now. There was no one in the streets,yet again it felt like he wasn't alone. Frank possesed no body,he was practicly floating in the air. He presumed that everything is possible in dreams. The shady atmosphere hinted that something horrible was about to happen,but Frank was clueless to what it was. As he walked or floated down the alley,he started to see a house at the end of the street. It looked extremely peculiar but at the same time completely normal. At some point in time Frank found himself inside the front yard of the house. He was walking through the bushes that scrached his body. The ground was rough and it looked like no one took care of it in a long time. As he was approaching the door that were the entrance to the inner garden that the house held,he noticed that the house had an extremely weird sigil on the front door. His now visible hand shakingly opened the door only to witness the cruelness of the owner of the house.
There were kids shackled in a shallow poll that was full of muddy water. The water was completely unclean and full of feces. Every single kid looked like they haven't eaten in days.
Frank felt like a third person in the whole situation. He wanted to help them but he couldn't move from the spot that he was standing in.
After a while of looking at the children,one of the kids,a little brown headed girl,Frank assumed she had brown hair but it was hard to see cause they were all so dirty,got loose.
She started to quietly tap around with her little feet and soon after she started to run,if that even looked like running.
He concluded that after so many time of being shackled,it was logical that the little girl couldn't possibly run fast,but she was giving her best. Frank could never run that fast,not even if his life was at stake.
The only logical solution was to follow the girl,so he did. The girl was running through those to Frank unknown streets like she knew where she was going. At one point they were standing at the top of the street where the only was to go was down,so she did and so did Frank.
They were running and Frank had a feeling like there was someone behind them all a long and he knew that the girl felt that too. Scared and under the pressure of not breathing was all that Frank felt. The girl took a sharp turn to the left,where there wasn't a street,there were green doors and she left them open and Frank ran inside.
The next thing he knew was the feeling in his bones. They were heavy and it felt like they were about to snap any second. He felt like coughing his loungs out. His skin was dirty and he wanted to rip it out of him how sickening it made him feel.
He finally understood. He wasn't Frank anymore. He was the girl or he was combined with the girl.
He or the girl was stopped by someone. Someone was blocking them to prevent them from going inside that house,from going into safety.
It was Gerard. His face was dark and the hazel eyes were gone. There was no light in them. Only darkness. He couldn't force himself into looking at those eyes. He looked in fact like a demon.
Gerard,even if that was Gerard,was wearing some old fashioned clothes and his hands were tightened into his fists and that made Frank scared. It made the girl scared too. His black eyes were staring at him and he couldn't get rid of the feeling that-
That was the moment Frank woke up. He was inhaleing and exhaleing sharply. It took him a few seconds to realize that he was in fact not in the dream,but in his room.
His room was empty and that made Frank breathe with some sort of security. It made him feel safe that no one was in his room.
Even if it was impossible,he was still glad that no one was there.
He knew that dreams were your reflection of what happened in your previous days,so that would explain Gerard.
It wouldn't really explain the Freuds theory that dreams showed something that we wanted unconsciounsly. He didn't want children to be shackled in their own dirt,he didn't want the constant feeling of having someone behind your back or just having fear of someone chasing you.
And that was not the worst part. He didn't want to be stopped by Gerard. That house represented safety and Gerard was standing right in front of it,blocking the way to safety.
He also knew why he in one point,found himself in the body of the girl. It was not because she was weak or because she was a girl ( being weak and being a girl really did not cover the fact. Girls were fucking strong.). It was the fact of feeling smaller and not being in advantage when it came to Gerard. Gerard was supposed to be a person he could trust and this dream was only showing his inner paranoia.
Frank decided that this dream meant nothing. He decided to push it all away. It wasn't like he felt threatened by Gerard,not at all. Gerard made him feel all fuzzy and weird inside. They were pass the stage of being weird with each other. Frank decided that the best thing he could do was to not question Gerard in his ways anymore,no pun intended.
His thoughts were scattered and he needed time to pick them up.
His legs needed streching and his whole body was protesting against getting up. His spine was cracking and it felt like it was going to detach itself from his body which he guessed would be painful.
He stood up with the best intentions and then he rememberd it was Monday and that he needed to go back to school.
That made him collapse back on the bed.
-
Mikey felt like Gerard was trying to hard.
It wasn't really the fact that Gerard had a crush on a boy that was a year younger than him,it was just simply the fact of how interested he got into this dude.
Mikey couldn't really count on his fingers how many times he's seen his brother like this,because he's never seen him like this. It made him feel happy and stressed out all at once. It was great in one hand because all that Gerard ever considered a relationship were just a bunch of addicts that used him to get drugs or used him in other ways so Gerard could get drugs. It was not healthy and Mikey didn't like it. So seeing his brother all frustrated about what he's going to wear to impress a boy was beyond cute.
Mikey didn't like to adress his problems to anyone because he considered that everyone was having bigger problems than him.
He recalled that one time when Gerard got sober for like five minutes and all that he could mumble through was the thing Mikey thought no one was ever going to mention. He told him that he was the best person ever. He told him that he was selfless. Mikey didn't really believe it because he considered himself to be the worst person on this planet. He would often get his head in the clouds,thinking about all the things he could have done and all the things he shouldn't have done. Regret was one of Mikey's favourite places to be. If there was a town from where Mikey originally was born,it would be called Regret and not New Jersey,Belleville.
Gerard was jumping in his room and trying out Mikey's clothes. It was funny to see his brother who was also three years older than him,looking all careless and free.
Free.
The time has come that Mikey finally recognized the fact that Gerard was finally free. It looked like nothing would stop them. It was beautiful and painful at the same time.
Mikey remembered all the times their parents shut them down,especially Gerard. He was always the first to blame and Mikey knew that was the thing that got himself into his mess at the first place. Mikey was beyond glad that he got to live with his brother since he was eighteen.
There was this constant feeling of falling back into the black abyss. He was scared constantly for his brother. He never blamed him for that,even though it was a little unfair because he was the younger one. He never blaimed him because his brother never blaimed him for being the 'perfect' son. Their parents had a habit of calling Mikey like that while Gerard and Mikey knew that wasn't true. Gerard never took it for a grudge. Other kids that had brothers and sisters would take it for a grudge and while they grew up they would learn how to hate each other,instead of hating their parents for teaching them that.
Mikey was beyond grateful for having Gee for his brother. He loved him immensely. Nothing could take their love out of them and that was the reason behind his evident happiness.
-
Gerard saw his brother smiling like the biggest doofus ever. If there was a good camera around them,he would at least take a photo of him or even better a video. It would be great to have a video of happiness to watch when he falls into the hands of blackness once again. But he wasn't going to think about that now.
Think happy thoughts.
He was getting ready to suprise his whatever the hell Frank was to him and nothing was stopping him.
The day looked like it was going to be awful just to exist. The moist in the air and the constant wetness that everybody in New Jersey felt was just contributing to the fact how weather can make things feel shitty. Gerard wasn't going to be under the influence of the weather,he was feeling way too hype for that.
He presumed Frank was going to be happy or at least suprised to see him. It was Monday and school is shitty and Gerard really hoped that Frank won't be too scared of him showing up at his school. He could only hope and... pray. He was going to a catholic school after all.
"Mikey,is this dress too tacky?" Gerard said with a british accent.
"Nice try. You know they would crucify you if you actually showed up in a dress." Mikey responded with his eyes closed and his arm up in the air. He was making shadows on the wall with his hands but he wasn't looking at them. He already knew what they looked like so he didn't feel the need to.
Gerard sighed because he knew so many gay,trans and asexual kids from catholic schools. It pained him because the irony was strong. "I sometimes really hate catholics." Complaining about the injustice those people brought to the world was even a pain in the ass for Gerard himself.
"No,you don't hate catholics." Mikey resisted upon Gerard's statement because he knew he wasn't right. Gerard hated people who hate but that also made him a hateful person and he hated himself for that.
"Gerard,you do not hate catholics,in a matter of a fact,you're actually crushing on a one. You hate resentful people and you hate homophobes,transphobes and probably everybody that has -phobes in it." Mikey laughed it out.
"Since when did you get so smart?" Gerard smirked at his smug ass brother. The wind outside made Gerard shiver. It wasn't suppose to be this cold.
"I am not smart. I just talk a lot of gibberish so it seems that i actually know something while in real life i don't know what a mitohondria is." Mikey stood up from the bed and streched while his spine cracked too loudly. Gerard turned around and Mikey knew that his brother will laugh at this.
"So Mikey,what's a mitochondria?" Gerard said laughing because he knew how much Mikey had to study so he could pass fucking biology and he knew Mikey will always remeber certain stuff from it.
"Powerhouse of the fuckin cell,you fuck." Mikey said while exiting the room,leaving his brother to get ready even though he was already late to 'school'.
-
Being surronded by pricks was a joy every day and Frank was really enjoying his stay in high school. He was sick of the things that his collegues did and it made him jump of joy because he will get to see them all today.
As he was passing by the entrance of his high school,there was a little wall where every kid had his group and the groups were divided by sterotypical characterization. There were the popular ones,they were preps mostly. There were nerds,the ones that tryed really hard to get into collage and if you looked at it that way,Frank was one of them too,but not entirely because he didn't hang out with them and most of the people didn't even know he actually had good grades. He just blended in with the surroundings.
Invisibility was Frank's best aset and he used that so he could pass high school without anyone paying much attention to him.
In his school there were no groups such as goths or emos because most of the people there were die-hard catholics that went to church,so being something like that was off the chart. It wasn't like Frank hated people that went to church,he just mostly didn't like them and if they found out that he's been lying to them for all this years about how he just goes to another church,so they don't see him much,he could just consider himself dead.
Also,groups of sporty people and groups of those who acted a bit like whores and his favourite, fuckboys.
The fuckboys were so stubborn in their mission that it was funny to watch but after certain amount of time,it just becomes painful.
Once,last year,as summer was approaching,guys or the famous fuckboys as you know them started wearing shorts to school. The principle stricktly ordered to wear decent clothes aka not shorts,only long pants or jeans and that's all. But as we see,the fuckboys needed to preserve their heterosexuality so they continued doing so which only caused sending them home so they could change.
Dress code man. In this case they really didn't need shorts,it wasn't that hot after all.
Fucking fuckboys and their shorts.
Frank cleared his mind because he needed to concentrate,he had important stuff to do and lately it seemed like everything deserved his attention. From scruffy black hair to the touch of someone's soft lips on his skin. It made his skin crawl,but from excitement and it made him shiver,but it was also not from fear of the unknown.
The bell was about to ring and he needed to hurry to get to his locker because if the bell rang while he's still on the hall,there is a high posibility he'll be deaf till the end of the day.
Someone from the proffesors or whoever does that stuff made the bell ring with a such high pitched ring,it literally made you feel like you were in prison.
He run to his locker,seeing nobody around which made him feel reliefed. His locker had this greenish colour that was mixed with a grey colour.
The combination on his locker clicked and he started taking his books out,he looked at the stupid quote his mother made him put there.
Smile! It's a bad day,not a bad life.
The quote was given by his mother and she bought it like in a supermarket for a dollar,maybe less. It made him vomit for ages but he kept it there. He had a feeling that if he took it down,she would somehow find out.
Monday,first period,maths. Frank felt like shooting himself on spot but then the ladies that cleaned the school would have more work than what they usually have.
He rushed to the classroom and the bell rang as he entered the room,he saved himself from a future headache. His maths proffesor was standing there by the board,not looking even slitely interested and not paying attention to who was walking into his class. Literally,anyone could walk in and pretend that they went to this class. But then again which idiot would come to maths class by his own free will?
No one,that's right,not a single soul.
The desk that belonged to Frank or the one that he usually took was waiting for him with his arms open. Not really with his arms because desks and chairs didn't have arms ans it would be totally freaky if they did. Frank felt the urge to throw himself out of the second floor. But he would probably break his foot.
The class filled with his collagues and not his friends because he really didn't have any. Joanna,his 'ex-best' friend sat across the room and Frank's staring was interrupted by no other than Ray Toro.
Ray Toro was one of those people that if he killed someone no one would trust that because he was just simply too kind. Toro never bothered Frank with stupid questions and that's why Frank respected him like heaven on earth. You could even say that he liked the dude.
Ray sent him a smile and Frank concluded that that would be all that he will have from human interaction today.
He was definitely wrong.
The black and white clock that ticked maybe too quietly showed Frank that the first part of his misery ends in ten seconds.
Nine. Someone caughs.
Eight. The proffesor starts saying the homework.
Seven. Nobody is listening.
Six. Five. People already start taking their stuff.
Four. Three. Professor yelling how the class isn't over.
Two,one.
Zero. So long,proffesor.
Frank ran to his locker so he could avoid further socializing.
Halls were overcrowded with students and it was hard to get through.
There was a person leaning on Frank's locker and the only thing Frank was thinking about was the fact that he'll need to say something to that person so that he,she,it moves,he was also considering waiting that person to move but he really didn't have the time.
Approaching the locker made him feel anxious.
This person had the same black hair as Gerard.
"Hey could you-" Frank gasped. "G-Gerard?"
Gerard must of have liked his gasp because he was smiling from his ear to ear.
"Oh,did you miss me?"
-
Extremely suprised. That's how Frank looked like and maybe a little petrified. Gerard figured it would be for the best if he smiled because Frank looked like he's about to faint. All the students around them just passed by,not looking at Frank,but looking at Gerard cause he was the 'new guy'. People probably assumed that he transfered or that his parents moved from another country or something else reasonable.
Gerard was particulary proud of himself because he looked like he actually went to high school and that was one of the reason he was smiling from his ear to ear,but probably the biggest reason was standing in front of him,looking all tired and wide-eyed.
"Did you hear a word i said?" Gerard continued,leaning his head against Frank's locker which made Frank blush because he found it extremely cute.
"I-i did." Frank answered quickly while his blood boiled and he felt like he's under a fricking lamp. Pro tip: if you try to stop your blushing,you will only make it worse and the person that's causing it will notice it.
"And?" Gerard continued while moving his head of the locker,slightly pouting to Frank while still having a huge grin plastered all over his face. "You're blushing and it seems like you're about to faint. Walk with me somewhere."
Frank opened his eyes quickly. What the hell,Gerard? Why? What? Why know? How? Frank's head was about to get a massive headache. "Um,where-where to?" He calmed himself to ask this simple question.
"The bathroom,lets go to the bathroom."
"The bathroom? Gerard,what are you doing?"
"Just trust me,okay?" Gerard said while grabing Frank's hand so that he can lead him to the room that Frank knew all to well. He was the one going to this hell hole and not Gerard,so this situation was fricking ridicilous to Frank. Nobody was in the hall and that prevented Frank from blushing or something worse because Gerard took him by his hand. His hand in hand with the person he loved,no he liked him. Loving was too extreme and Frank didn't believe in love,right?
Gerard pushed the bathroom doors while draging Frank along with him,it was hard to drag him because it felt like Frank was stopping in place every once in a while.
They came inside and Gerard checked if anyone was present. While he did so,Frank realized that Gerard was wearing his school uniform,how the hell did Gerard find a school uniform? That wasn't even the important question,the important question was what the hell were they doing in the school bathroom.
Gerard also smoothed his hair and he looked like a polite catholic highschool boy. He really did look like a catholic person.
Catholic.
God dammit.
"Okay,i know you're confused,but i wanted to be spontanauos,so i just came here." Gerard started to explain while standing too far from where Frank wanted him to be.
Frank was confused and he really didn't know what to do,so he just started talking. "What do you want from me? I asked you that once before and you didn't give me an answer. I would really like an anwer now." Frank tryed to be all tough but he turned out be quite puppy like and he hated himself for that.
"Okay. I will tell you everything. But first you need to tell me what do you have next period?" Gerard stepped closer to Frank which made Frank shiver.
"Nothing." Gerard cocked an eyebrow. "I have a free period."
"Marvelous!" Gerard proclaimed while clapping. His eyebrows furrowed at once. "Then why were you in a such rush?"
Frank looked down because he was embarassed. He figured it would be better to just come clean. "Uh,i wanted to study for next period."
Gerard smirked and started intentionly caughing. "Nerd."
"That's not even an insult to me."
"I know. I love nerds. Nerds are cute. Especially the short ones that make your heart race faster and the ones that run away frequently." Gerard's face looked even paler in the light that was coming through the window.
He was waiting for some sort of a reaction to what he just said because Gerard was sure he described Frank in details. Frank's face wasn't blushing at the moment,but there was some redness that was just the aftermath of the previous one. He actually looked pretty mad.
"I am not short." Frank said with his fingers tightened in his fists.
"Okay. Whatever you say."
There was awkward silence between them,but Gerard didn't find it awkward at all. He was just thinking of his next step. Frank on the other hand was doing everything to avoid Gerard's stare but Gerard wasn't letting him just slide.
Gerard took all the bravery he had,he practicly scraped it of the bottom of his soul because he wasn't really known as the brave type of a guy. He took a step closer to Frank, his eyes diverted to him the second he made movement. Frank stared at Gerard in sort of a way that he knew he wasn't allowed to. His attention was distracted by the thing he wanted to feel on his skin once again,he wanted to feel it across his neck,he wanted to run his fingers across them. Gerard's lips were dangerously close to Frank and Frank found it hard to swallow at the moment.
Gerard raised his arm and put it behind Frank,Frank's back was touching the cold probably dirty wall of the male bathroom of his stupid catholic school. Gerard was leaning closer to Frank's body and Frank could feel Gerard's knee bumping into his leg,that's how close they were.
Gerard glanced across Frank's body and he stopped at his eyes and he opened his mouth a bit. "So,Frank. Don't get me wrong,but i don't want to do anything to you,with you without asking first because i could be wrong."
Frank nodded so that he continues.
"I mean,what i am trying to say is that you let me hug and kiss you,on the cheek and i am not sure if you are-you know..."
Frank just nodded. He couldn't do much,he was jammed and if he tryed to do any movement he would end up touching Gerard and he didn't want that,not yet.
"I-i mean. I don't think that any catholic boy would let another boy to kiss him or something similiar to that." Gerard continued to prove his point.
Frank figured it was time to come clean and if he needed to listen to Gerard's raspy voice any longer he would be forced to jerk off like a hormonal teenager in front of his fucking crush in a catholic school.
"Just listen to me." Frank started. "I have no idea what the hell i am and i don't care. I figured it was time to cut all the bullshit. I want you to kiss me hard,like really hard so i can remember it as something fucking good because we both know there isn't much good stuff in my life. So just do whatever and however the hell you meant to do it." Frank gasped out and it seemed like he was panting while talking and that wasn't really good for Gerard because it was turning him on. He looked frightened by what was to come next and his hands shaked as Gerards pupils dialated.
Gerard stuttered on the beggining of the sentence cause he couldn't really believe that this was actually happening to him. "So can i kiss you now?"
Frank gasped loudly. "No!" All wide-eyed in confusion and stress.
"Wait you just said..."
"Not here,you idiot. I don't wanna be kissed by a hot guy for the first time in a bathroom of a catholic school." Frank admited to Gerard.
"First time? You've never been kissed by someone,not even by a girl?" Gerard asked in evident excitement.
"No, i haven't,so you better take me somewhere nice,literally anywhere because i don't wanna do it here." Frank frowned at the mention of this hell that he was forced to attend.
"I know just the place." Excitement and the feeling of success was boiling in his blood and he couldn't wait to tell Mikey all about this,but not before he showed Frank everything.
-
The place that Gerard took Frank was so quiet and Frank didn't know that place existed,even though he lived here for seventeen years.
Gerard had Frank's hand in his own the whole way while they were walking and Frank's palm was getting sweaty but it seemed that Gerard didn't mind. They walked two blocks away from his school and Frank found it oddly relaxing seeing his school in the distance,the only pain he could feel was the one when he realized that he will need to go back for the next period,but he wasn't letting himself think about that.
After they crossed those two blocks,they took a turn to the right,passed some ugly painted buildings and then they needed to pass some trees that Gerard was counting because he needed to find the right passage.
Gerard found the right path and he turned to Frank and just smiled. Frank felt everything and he wondered where Gerard was taking him. He knew that this was moving way too fast and that he didn't actually trust Gerard Way.
Gerard Way could easily be a serial killer,but Frank didn't mind because even if he was,he would just kill him and all would be gone. Frank was an extremely optimistic person as you can see and a sarcastic one.
He could also be a creeper,wait a fucking second,he already is. It was hard for Frank to think about all of these stuff that his mom taught him. Don't talk to stranger,don't do this,don't do that. If this what Gerard was doing was just using Frank then he didn't really care. He was lonely and right now he needed someone to hold him. It wasn't like Frank was a polite flower in all of this. In certain moments he felt like he needed to stop all of this but he was really lonely and the loneliness was eating him up. Slowly.
The trees and the fricking branches were really messing with both of them and Frank felt like giving up on the special place that Gerard was taking him but after few seconds of thinking about that Gerard sighed from relief because they were finally there.
It was nothing special in a romantic way speaking. If this was a romance novel,the girl or the guy would be extremely dissapointed,but Frank was just fucking thrilled because they finally got there.
Everything around them was green. Trees and little flowers on bushes,Frank turned around to see that this meadow was actually hidden and you couldn't really get there easily. It was hidden and it was perfect.
The meadow had a circle shape and little bumps in the ground and Gerard took him to the very middle and Gerard sat down slowly,Frank following his movement.
"Is this okay?" Gerard asked with hope in his eyes. "Did i manage to fulfill your standards?"
Frank didn't really have standards,so this was fucking perfect. He decided that nodding a few times would satisfy Gerard's needs.
"So,how are you?" Gerard asked while fixing his school uniform. Frank still couldn't believe that he put that on just so he could walk inside his school.
Frank found this question worth answering so he decided that he will. "I always find these type of questions to be stupid. They really don't make sense. People are not gonna answer truthfully,so what's the point?" Frank raised his eyebrows just to meet Gerard smiling because he knew that Gerard felt the same way.
"These questions are used maybe just like icebrakers,i suppose. I agree that they don't make sense." Gerard spread his palm while making his point. "But let's put it like this,if i did ask you how you were,what would you answer?" The wind got stronger,it messed with the branches and it created a perfect relaxing sound. The wind also messed with Gerard's hair and his strands started to stick out after they've been perfectly smoothed for the first time in his life.
Frank laid on the soft grass,looking up to meet Gerard's gaze while Gerard waited him to answer. "I would say that i am fine."
"And you would be lying."
"Would I?" Frank blinked a few times before he looked at him again. His eyes were distracted by the top of the trees an how the light went through them. His vision became blurry after not blinking for a while.
Gerard looked at him again and he laid down on his stomach next to Frank who was on his back and his hand under his head supporting it.
"There is something wrong with you,Frank." Frank's name rolled of his toungue so smoothly like he's been saying it for years.
Frank realized that this was just stating the obvious. "Well,yeah. I wouldn't be in group therapy,now would i?"
Gerard moved closer to Frank and he whispered in his ear. "There is something more than just what you're showing. There is,i know it,but i am not gonna force you to do anything or say anything before you're ready. I am not gonna be like the others. There is nothing wrong with other people,but i want to be special to you. I want you to look around and see me as something good." He finished what he was saying and he put his elbows on the ground so that he could see Frank's face clearly as they were both laying on the ground.
Silence was present,but there were so many sounds around them. Birds singing,trees humming,distant sound of cars driving in the city and their breathing.
Frank decided it was for the best if he broke the silence. The silence between them was too long. "I thought you brought me here so you could kiss me." He licked his bottom lip and he felt like the biggest fool ever while doing that,luckily Gerard didn't seem to mind.
"I did and i am still intending too. I didn't know you were this pushy." Gerard removed his elbow above the ground and touched him right were his ribs were. It was clumsy but it was cute.
"Me? Pushy? Says the guy that's wearing a school uniform of a school he's not attending." Frank giggled at the sentence he just said.
Gerard's eyes were so close to Frank,he could see the frackles in them,their noses were almost touching too. "I really love to hear you smile. You should smile more,if you're up to that."
Frank's smile was still on his face and Gerard raised his hand to Frank's arm,touching it and making circular moves with his thumb. "I guess i need more reasons to smile."
Gerard's face made a sad expression on his face but he quickly perked up so that Frank can't see it. "You know,we are breaking the rules." He smirked at the thought.
"What rules?" The question left hanging in the air because Frank really didn't know what he meant.
"In group therapy you can't date someone. That's forbidden. If something like that happens,the other person needs-"
Frank didn't let him finish. "I didn't know we were dating."
Gerard was blushing and Frank felt like he just won an award. He made Gerard Way blush. It was cute and a rear sight.
"I mean-i am not implying anything,just-just,ugh. Forget it."
Gerard felt like his heart was about to jump out of his body.
Frank and Gerard were sitting in silence. Just looking at each other. Everyhing was so peaceful and Frank felt like this was his safe haven. The wind was still blowing and it still messed up with Gerard's hair,but he was done smoothing it. Gerard's lips parted and they looked dry and raspy and in that moment Frank just wanted to look them forever,if that was somehow possible.
The cheesiness of the moment was so evident. Everybody on this stupid Earth knew that the long silence predicted kissing. It seemed like Frank didn't mind this time. He was strongly against clichés but it didn't really matter at the moment.
Gerard sat on the floor and he straightened his back,Frank was still on the floor and his shirt was a bit up and Gerard could see bits of his lower stomach. Gerard knew that Frank has never done this before and he also goddamn knew that if this doesn't turn out special for Frank,he is going to regret it so much.
Frank knew what was to come and he started to get up which only caused Gerard to stop him while he said. "You don't need to get up. Stay laying down. It's perfect."
Frank felt a little uncomfortable as Gerard moved his body closer to him. He didn't know what to do with his hands,so he just placed them on his stomach.
Gerard took Frank's head and he placed it in his lap. Frank's head was dangerously close to his crotch and he needed to brace himself while Frank's beautiful eyes stared at him amazed so that nothing happened in his lower part of his body. He then placed Frank a little bit more on him,so that he feels more comfortable. Now part of Frank's upper body was on Gerard and his head which was still turned in his direction. Gerard taught about this over and over in his head.
"I know this question seems stupid now but i promised myself that much." Gerard bit his bottom lip. "Can i kiss you?"
"I don't know,may you?"
"Frank,it's not the time for teasing. We'll have plenty of time for that." Gerard rolled his eyes.
Frank licked his lips again and he just decided it was better if he just did it. No stalling. Not anymore.
"Then,yeah." Frank's voice said while trembeling.
Frank could feel Gerard's fingers on his skin,on his nose,touching his eyelids,supporting his chin. Gerard started to get down closer to Frank's lips and Frank decided to meet him halfway. Their faces were already touching,noses bumping as their forheads conected for the first time. Their hair was tickling their faces and Frank could feel Gerard's hand touching his hair,supporting his head,tangeling inside of Frank's mess he called his hair.
Their breathing synchronized and Gerard waited till Frank kissed him first. Frank took Gerard's face in his hands and then for the first time in his seventeen year old life he felt someone lips on his own.
Their lips touched and Frank was shivering under the touch even though it wasn't cold. Frank could feel the texture of Gerard's lips,they were dry and raspy as he predicted and the smell. Frank could smell the flowers again and he really didn't know how Gerard managed to smell like that. Frank decided to kiss his bottom lip and their lips parted just for a second so they could breathe again. Gerard moved his head properly so that their noses didn't bump so much while they kissed. Their heart beat was increasing every second and Frank felt like he was about to have a heart attack,Gerard was holding him so there was no danger of him falling. Gerard moved his hand to Frank's lips and he just tenderly touched them,his eyes were almost closed but he closed them all when he brought his lips again to Frank's. Frank could feel Gerard opening his mouth a bit and their tounges touching for the first time. It was warm and wet and Gerard was holding him and the stupid world seemed to stop for a bloody second and things felt okay.
Gerard kissed his bottom lip and then he left his lips,watching Frank with his eyes still closed. He panicked for a second because he didn't want to stop but then he saw Frank's neck and decided to go on from there.
Frank didn't even imagine this happening,nonetheless that someone would be kissing his lips and now his neck. It took him by suprise and he couldn't help but to escape a quiet and a shy moan out of his lips as his head was once again on Gerard'a crotch.
Gerard on the other hand was just hoping that he wouldn't get a boner because he didn't know where that would take him,so he just continued kissing and eventually bitting his neck. Frank's body was trembeling a bit and Gerard moved his lips to meet Frank's eyes.
Frank opened his eyes. Totally in awe. Gerard could swear he could see stars in Frank's eyes. He also saw himself looking at him in admiration.
He saw himself and the stars.
Frank,Gerard and the stars.
-

Notes

Thanks for putting up with me. Hell yes some kissing,did you see that guys,wohhoooo. Chapter 7 is gonna come soon i hope. I can't wait to see what's coming. I love ya all. Votes and comment are very welcome and remember i love you all. Xx