Privilege of the broken ones

Did it really take that much to fall in love? Of course not. Love wasn't like that. It didn't work like that and if you thought it did you've then never been in love. Actual love.
All that happened between Gerard and Frank was kissing which they both hoped would lead to something else (but they would never admit that much to each other),also a bunch of fucking teenage hormones,at least from Frank's side because he was a teenager in this thing that he and Gerard had. A thing? Frank couldn't really decide what to call it,so now it was just the thing. Frank also felt like making a deal out of it so he decided to call it The Thing. Capital letters. Two t-letters.
Frank was lost and confused because he's never experienced something like this before. How was he suppose to act? Was he suppose to act or just play it cool? Be himself? He figured it would be rather stupid to lie or fake something in front of Gerard because he could see it through. He sees things through and that was what Frank was afraid of. Right before he kissed him,he said that something was wrong with him and that made Frank concerned a lot. He knew that Gerard can't find out. Not now,not ever.
He needed to keep it a secret.
And that was the plan. Frank didn't wanted to smash his head with thinking about it,maybe Gerard just generally thought about being fucked up. They were both in group therapy,even though Gerard still didn't know what was wrong with him and that was only advantage Frank had.
The only one.
When it came to general fucked upness,Frank believed that everybody had that,at least most of the people in group therapy. They knew how things worked,they knew how everything falls apart. Most of the people that weren't fucked up also knew that,but they didn't let it consume them and that was the only difference between these type of people.
Thinking about Gerard was one of Frank's new hobbies. He was laying on his bed and all he could think about was those hazel eyes. What was it about his eyes? He didn't know he had an obsession with peoples eyes. It never occured to him that that was his fetish,but on the other hand he's never been in love with someone's eyes. This was new and it was undiscovered teritory and it was weird and it bothered Frank as much as it excited him.
After Gerard kissed Frank's lips and neck,he brought his head up and his hands were tangled in Frank's hair. They were looking at each other intensely. Frank thought that another session of making out was about too happen,but Gerard just kept looking at him. His eyes were fixated on his and he didn't even blink. They breathed in each other because they were so close. Frank was sitting on Gerard's lap and it started to get uncomfortable,but not one single muscle was moved to change that position. Gerard was still holding Frank strongly as they gazed at each other and it was even more intense than the kissing itself.
After that,Frank realized that time is a fucking bitch and that he soon needed to go back to school because third period was approaching too fast. He whispered to Gerard how he needed to go back and Gerard only slightly nodded in response so that Frank understood he got the message. Gerard started to unclutch out of the half-hug,half-holding onto each other so that Frank could stand up. He was still on the floor,sitting,just being quiet,his hair was a mess and Frank was particilarly proud that he was partly guilty because of that. He messed with his hair while making out on purpouse because the whole playing polite-christian-boy-so-i-could-sneak-into-a-school wasn't working for Frank. The wind also did their do in the process of making Gerard's hair look like he just had sex.
They stood up and Gerard was a bit confused on whatever the hell he was thinking about. It was weird to see him so confused,it sent shivers down Frank's spine. Frank asked him where was he going because he didn't make much sense what Gerard was saying. He was whispering and it looked like he was sick,although just a few seconds ago he looked fine,but maybe the reason of that was the fact that Frank wasn't touching him and vice versa.
It was so comforting to be in his arms,so warm. It gave Frank the feeling of safety. The safety was fake,of course because Frank didn't know Gerard and Gerard didn't know Frank. They could both be serial killers when you looked at it that way. They knew they were both fucked,group therapy took care of that.
When there was a person you knew for two days,would you make out with them? Maybe yes,maybe no. Depends on the person,right?
Some people say that kissing a person like really quicky is love at first sight,but Frank didn't believe in that. There was no such thing as swooning over someone the first time you look at them,there was no such thing as saying the right words when you meet that special someone. Or that was at least what Frank thought. He saw his parents and he saw no love and that was how he saw the world.
Loveless.
If that was even a word.
After all,when it came to saying the right words,the first words that Gerard said to Frank was: 'nice to meet you,Frank'. And that only made Frank scared,to him Gerard was still a stranger who he knew little,almost nothing about.
He was willing to find more about him,though. Gerard was one of those people that needed time to open up and so was Frank.
Time is on their side after all.
-
The air stenched and Gerard sighed deeply. Sometimes when he sighed he felt like his soul is escaping his body,but he knew that was impossible. Sometimes he felt like he didn't have a soul. He would joke with his brother about not having one and then one day Mikey got really serious and said:" If more people didn't have a soul like you,the world would be a better place". Gerard wondered who raised him that way,but then he'd remember that he practicly did. But that wasn't all,that boy was a soul,like a really good person. The world didn't deserve Mikey Way,that was at least what his brother thought. Then again, Gerard knew he was acting like this, praising his brother to heaven itself only because he was being subjective and for god sake, Gerard loved that boy way too much.
No pun intended.
He figured that in no way in hell he's going to think about Frank all day and his soft lips.
The contrast was rather strange. When they started kissing, Gerard waited Frank to kiss him first. He didn't want Frank to regret his actions because he knew how that felt and he would never let anyone feel miserable as he did when he was younger.
Full of regret. Regret led to anger. Anger led to misery. Misery led to depressive thoughts. He would never want that to anyone,not even to his worst enemy, if he had one.
He was in his room, doors shut. Shirt that he wore when he saw Frank carelessly discarded on the floor. He looked at the shirt that was hiding under that dreadful uniform that Frank had to wear every single fucking day. Poor Frank, Gerard was more then willing to help him take it off.
He smacked himself across the face to prevent the thoughts from coming into his head. The thoughts needed to stop because he was intending to take it extremely slow with him... But the thoughts of Frank touching his stomach,taking his shirt off and slowly kissing his neck and going down, kissing his lower stomach and...
No! Gerard's imagination was working on full steam here and he realized he needed to stop, he was acting like a teenager. Well, he wasn't far but he thought he passed that phase of controlling himself from getting a fucking boner.
The shirt on the floor looked extremely lonely or that was just how Gerard felt at the moment,so he decided to pick it from the floor. He picked his lazy ass from the bed and with his stomach being rather cold he put his arms around himself,wrapping himself in a sort of a hug. The shirt, the stupid shirt that he'd taken off when he got home didn't smell bad at all,even thought he'd been running out of the woods after Frank was forced to leave. He let Frank go back to class,he told him that he's going to stay in the woods for a while. And he did.
He picked that certain meadow because that place was special to him. The meadow itself was in a circle and the path that leads to the meadow was hidden and that was the best part about it. When you stood in the middle of the meadow you couldn't see a way out. You could only see it if you knew it was there. That was his favourite place because nothing bad happened there. Sure, it could be that in the past, people were slaughtered there or in the worst case scenario there could be a graveyard under it that had evil ghosts that can get into your soul and control your body and make you kill all your friends, but Gerard was definitely making a digression. It was his favourite place because nothing bad happened to him there. The place wasn't polluted with evil stuff. It was also really beautiful. Gee would go there just so he can sit there and be in silence and the silence was amazing. He had a rule that he won't go there when he's angry and so far he had accomplished that.
Bringing Frank there was the best part of it all. Some people would think that he's broken his rules by bringing another person in there but to him he wasn't. He filled that space with feelings. Feelings,yes. That was how he will describe. Gerard wasn't really satisfied with filling the meadow,his special place with only feelings. He wanted to fill it with love, but he wasn't sure that Frank felt the same. Suddently,he felt his anxiety creep in and the shirt that was still laying on the floor was a real saviour for him. He started to take his things of the floor and he took his shirt off of it, Gerard put it on and he smelled that weird shampoo that Mikey constantly bought because apperantly his brother 'liked flowers, especially roses' no matter how cliché it was.
Mikey shut the door with a bang downstairs and Gerard thought how they are probably connected, brain waves and what not because he was thinking about him.
That was impossible so he just went with the good old 'Lupus in fabula'.
He could hear Mikey running upstairs and in seconds to come Mikey is going to open Gerard's bedroom door and ask him how it went.
In the following seconds, Mikey stormed in and saw Gerard laying on the bed,one hand carelessly on his stomach.
Mikey blurted out. "Are you hurt? Are you okay?" The younger brother worriedly asked his brother the question he wasn't expecting while having his eyes wide open.
"Mikey,calm down. I am totally fine." Gerard stood up,so that his brother sees he's okay. "This is not like the last time, Mikey. This is different." He keeped on convincing him.
Mikey was sweaty,probably from the running home so he could find out what happened. Gerard figured that Mikey started freaking out on his way home, so he forgot who Gerard even was after. He forgot this was Frank they were talking about. Previous experiances were a bitch.
"I am sorry, i just got so worried and i saw you laying on your bed and I-I just thought. I don't want that that thing happens again-". Mikey was starting to apologize but Gerard interupted him.
"We said that we won't talk about it." The smile that Gerard had from thinking about Frank transformed into a shy smile cause he wanted to make his broher feel better but mentioning it made him really sad.
"Okay. I am sorry,again. How did it go? Did he run away?" Mikey started to shoot out questions like a machine gun. When he was interested or curious in something, he would get really hyped about it.
Mikey glared at his brother who wasn't really providing answers. Gerard thought about how he kissed Frank and he couldn't stop the smile from comming to his lips. Mikey protested. "Judging by your smug ass smile, everything went fucking great." Gerard smiled even harder,pulling the grin almost from his ear to ear. Mikey has never seen him that happy. "So it went even better than you expected. Nice!" Mikey was shaking his head in disbelief,smiling alongside his brother.
"Did you get in the school without any problem?" Mikey asked,raising eyebrows at the item that was the school uniform that Mikey practicly stole for his brother.
"It worked like a charm. Everybody thought i was new. That's all." Gerard jumped back on his bed, his head laid back on his small but soft pillow.
"So smoochies and stuff. Right?"
"Yep. I am gonna tell you everything, just chill." Gerard made a hand motion to calm his brother.
Mikey took out a paper of sorts and Gerard was a bit confused. The last time he saw a paper like that, nothing good happened.
"I am sorry for killing the good vibes, but she-i mean they sent a letter."
Gerard knew this could bring no good. This was unexpected and too soon. He thought he had more time. Mikey streched out to Gerard and Gerard opened the letter,seeing all the cursive writting. He just whispered under his breath.
"Shit."
-
School is an institute where children go so they can murder themselves in the process. If you do survive, you get a medal (in this case you pass school) but the effects are that you have scars that will remain on your skin untill you die.
Frank was being sarcastic as always and he was only being methaphorical. This what he thought about school wasn't real (more or less).
He was buged and it felt like insects are under his skin. The thing he hated the most was that the feeling stays even when it's over. He wasn't really a fan of insects and whenever he saw one in his house, bedroom, he hurried to pick it up and throw it outside. The relationship he had with insects was weird and he didn't really understand it because he didn't like to see them but he also didn't wanna kill them.
Such a weird thing. Every other person would just kill it, make a disgusted face and go away. Frank wasn't like that. Also, other people were scared of stalkers and avoided them by any cost. Then again, Frank failed at doing that too. It was impossible to stop thinking about the head that was above his and the rays that went through his black hair as he kissed him. Gerard kissed him. He had a kiss with a boy, he actually was touched by a boy, another person. The realization hit him hard.
Gerard was hard to get. The veil of mistery around him was black and hard to see through.
The knock on the door startled him and his mother entered the room, looking all un-suspicious, un-aware of the fact that Frank kissed a boy today. If they found out, he didn't know what would happen. He will most certainly get a slap, the only problems is how far they'll go. He hoped that they would never found out, he didn't really know what he was. Being a certain sexuality all of a sudden became an issue. It wasn't an issue before because firstly, he was never interested in anyone and secondly, when you were a depressed person or just having issues you didn't think about having someone to romanticly involve with you. People can't make depression go away, they can help, but the only person who can fix those kinds of things is the person who has it. That was at least what Frank thought.
"Frankie, honey. How was school?" His mum asked with a small smile and with darker circles under her eyes. The circles were getting worse day by day.
There were two words that annoyed Frank the most and that was Frankie and honey. And his mother used it in the same sentence. How amazing is that?
His mother used it all the time and he never told her to stop using that. He was too afraid and he didn't have power to stand up and confront her. Not even on little things like this.
"It was okay mum." Frank answered bluntly and too quiet. All he could remeber was the kiss he got today, the school was a blur. He was suprised that he managed to walk somehow. Ray Toro even asked him if he's okay. That person was a ray of sunshine. Literally. He thought about befriending Ray Toro but then he changed his mind because he didn't want to drag sweet, innocent Ray into his problems. Not one person in his school knew that he went to group therapy and he intended to make it stay that way.
"Honey, you know you can say anything to me. Anything that bothers you, anything that pops in your little head of yours."
Sounds like manipulation, miss Iero.
Sounds like you want to control Frank's head.
Good job.
"Mum, everything is fine. I got an A in history class and a B in maths. Everything is fine-." Frank sweated because he didn't want his mother in his head because all she would see would be Gerard and Frank kissing on the fucking floor.
"You got a B in maths class!" His mother exclaimed angrily and all her good will vaporated into thin air.
"But the A-" Frank protested.
His mother stood up from his bed, pointing at the desk. "Go study, you need to fix that grade." She smashed the doors as she walked out.
"What the fuck?" Frank said as she walked out, putting his hand to his lips because he was scared she heard him.
He put his hand on his knee and he almost smiled to himself because cursing was the least wrong thing of all the sins he's doing.
-
"Goddammit Mikey, you really killed the good vibes." Gerard said nervously, walking across his room, making his brother nervous too. The jumpiness that Gerard felt was not from being happy, it was from being nervous.
"Okay yeah, i know. I am sorry,but i didn't want them to just come without you knowing. You know how shit went down when they came last time. The situation like that can't happen ever again." Mikey explained, catching his breath because he was seriously lacking some from all the talking.
Gerard looked straight into his brothers eyes and he saw fear. His brother was afraid and there was nothing he could do about it. Mikey was eighteen and Gerard twenty one and they were afraid. Gerard was afraid of losing Mikey and Mikey couldn't stand living without his brother. There was a bond between them that was unbreakable and that was what Gerard loved most about them.
"So what are we going to do?" Gerard asked his brother with his arms shrugging because they could do everything and it might possibly not be enough.
"The best we fucking can." Mikey said while approaching his brothers with his arms open, inviting his brother into a hug.
Mikey continued speaking. "Promise me that if they take me, you'll come to save me, like you did last time." Mikey had his eyes teary and the contacts that he's been wearing started to itch strongly, so he made them go away.
"We are not kids anymore, Mikey. We don't know where life takes us, but you are right, we will do everything to stay together." Gerard encouraged his brother while pulling out of the hug. He wasn't going to just let them take him away. He was his everything until Frank came and he isn't even sure if they are anything but he sure did hope so.
"I am ready. How bout you Mikey?"
"Fuckin ready."
The first stage was cleaning their place. Their house had two floors. Where the entrance was, there was the kitchen that was conected to the living room that they barely used. Mikey used it sometimes when his friends came over, but those people didn't make a mess so it was cool. If Gerard ever invited his friends when he was still under the influence of drugs and alcohol then the place wouldn't look so great. Upstairs, there were their bedrooms and the bathroom. The place itself was small but enough for Mikey and Gerard to live in. Probably, Gerard's favourite thing about their place was the fact that they had stairs. Stairs that led to their bathrooms. He had a minor obsession with them, it was probably because when they were little they never had stairs. Often when Mikey came home he would see Gerard drawing on those stairs and when he was messed up, he would pass out on them. It was always those fricking stairs. Mikey didn't know what was so special about them but he would let it roll. The actions his brother did that did no harm to him were none of his business. He would only intervene when Gerard was in life and death situations and he was in them more then they could both admit.
After cleaning up the place which didn't take long because they didn't have much to like get dirty, it was time for covering the house of any anti-catholic sings. If there was a thing in their house that was remotely not catholic they would consider it a mistake and Gerard really didn't want them to yell at Mikey or him because he would punch them and that would only make it worse. The 'mistakes' needed to be covered, that also inluded the Dungeon and Dragons that was on the coffee table in the living room. Mikey just looked at Gerard and they just nodded at each other because they knew they needed to move it out of their eyesight. Mikey took it and brought it to his room and put it in his wardrobe. He left his room and called Gerard to come upstairs. Gerard started to walk up the stairs, two stairs at the time, not knowing what he was trying to prove with that. His athletic abilities? Please, no.
"Mikey, what?" Gerard asked nervously and all panting because the stairs were not his best friend even though he loved them. "What now?"
"What if they find your school uniform?" Mikey raised his eyebrows. "You can't tell them that you went to a catholic school to seduce your boyfriend! We need an excuse. If they find it."
"First of all Mikey, he's not my boyfriend. No matter how much i'd want that, even though i am scared shitless because of what happened before. You know already. The thing that we are gonna say to them is that uhmmm, your friend that goes to a catholic school left it here and he's going to pick it up soon, who knows when. They really picked the day, didn't they?" Gerard sighed, sitting on the floor beside that stupid unifrom that he wore when he touched those lips.
"Why does it has to be my friend?" Mikey protested.
"Well, Mikey. Do i look like a person who has catholic friends?" Gerard exclaimed rather sharply.
"No, but you look like you could be dating one soon-"
The bell they had on their white doors sounded strange. They knew who was outside and that people that were standing in front of them disgusted them. Steps that Gerard and Mikey made while going downstairs echoed throughout the house and that made them shiver.
They stood by the door, waiting for one of them to open it. Gerard gathered his courage and grabbed the door knob.
The door swinged open and they were standing there, like the perfect couple they were.
Gerard took a sharp breath and said.
"Hello mum, hello dad."
-
Amazing grace on a flute. Amazing. Literally amazing. Last thing Frank needed to hear in his life.
That was actually the first thing he heard when he came to his high school and already then he knew he was fucked. Most of the time in class he would imagine that one day, there would just be that little bell at the beggining before an announcement was said and the speakers would just start playing to him known tunes and then Misfits would blast through the speakers and Frank would climb on his desk and play his invisible guitar, then the teacher would kick him out of the class and eventualy priniciple out of the school.
And then he would be just left with his punk rock roots, riding out in the sunsets.
What a fantasy.
Frank was no where near being that brave, he couldn't speak up at class, nonetheless to stand on his desk and play air guitar.
But it was nice to imagine.
The problem now was that he could, for real hear Amazing grace in his house and that was extremely concerning and Frank opened his bedroom door slowly and the doors of course started squicking like somebody was killing them because that was just how much luck he had.
The sound increased as he opened them completely and he could hear it completely without any trouble. At least now he knew that he wasn't crazy which helped a lot because he couldn't handle that at the moment.
The walls echoed through the house and it bounced of the walls as Frank got downstairs, now the sound was crystal clear and he could see a girl standing in his living room wearing a floral dress. She smiled at Frank and Frank didn't have time to blush because his mother was standing in front of him. Frank jerked back because she appered like a ghost in front of him.
"Honey, this is Anastasia. She plays the piano." His mother gestured towards the girl that was now smiling awkwardly at him.
Frank eyed Anastasia that was standing there awkwardly. "Uhhh, hi."
Anastasia only nodded and silence was filled with a stupid christian tune and the chatter that was heard outside. His mother intervened because Frank was constantly watching Anastasia and things were getting serioualy bad. "Frankie, Anastasia and I met at the church, she sings in the choir. Isn't that lovely?" His mother sat on the brown sofa that his father puked on when he got home drunk after a night out.
Frank was getting suspicious. Anastasia, a lovely catholic girl that plays the piano and sings in the choir. This smelled like a set-up and his mother was smiling at him like a stepford wife she pretended to be. A fucking set-up. He couldn't believe it, this was worse than when his father got drunk. He discovered another secret about his mom. She was cunning and everything she did was in complete silence so that you don't notice until it's over.
Fucking hell.
"Yeah, it's great mum." Frank turned around to see if any other girl is going to jump out of the closet, in a literal sense of the meaning.
Anastasia hasn't spoken any words and Frank was even more suspicious now because he felt like she didn't want to be here.
He didn't want to be here, it didn't really strike him that that was that odd.
"Frankie." His mother called out.
Frankie.
One day he's going to snap, but not this day.
"Why don't you show Anastasia your room?"
Anastasia and Frank looked at each other terrified. While exchanging looks Anastasia showed Frank that she wasn't going to be the one that's going to ask Frank's mother about that.
"Uhm,mum. Why?"
Frank gestured towards Anastasia, her eyes starting to get relaxed over time.
His mother took a bowl of cookies in her hands, the one that were usually for the church, giving them to her. His mother took newspaper from the mini table they had in their living room and said: "You young people need to socialize. Go have fun, talk. But Frankie don't do anything stupid." His mother smiled with the commercial smile as Anastasia and the bowl of cookies that she held started to get closer to Frank.
"Okay, then. Come up." Frank gestured her to climb the stairs while he was still glaring at his mother because he could not believe she had the balls to do this. His mother looked up at him and smirked.
This was manipulation that went beyond any point and it sucked.
He followed Anastasia's lead and in few seconds time Frank was opening his bedroom door to a complete stranger. It didn't matter that she was a complete stranger because on his mother's list of perfect girls by her choice, Anastasia was filling her standards.
Anastasia entered his room and looked at the mess that he had created. Frank felt a little guilty about that, but that wasn't his fault.
"Sorry for the mess, but my life is also a mess, so it represents me perfectly." Frank shrugged and sat on his un-made bed.
Anastasia left the cookies on his work desk, sitting on the chair that was under his table.
"I am so sorry, Frank." Anastasia apologized with her hands on her knees.
"What for?" Frank gestured.
She answered back. "I am so sorry because i had no idea that you're coming and that this whatever this is is going to happen."
Frank exhaled and thought how he judged maybe too fast.
"Oh, okay. I am sorry too." Frank said while laying his head on the wall, being more relaxed then when he thought that this was a set-up.
"And beside, your mum thought that we would be a great couple, but that just isn't possible." She brushed it off with a smile.
"How so?" Frank squinted his eyes.
"I am not attracted to anyone. Like, i don't want to have sex with anyone." Anastasia said with her hands trembeling a little.
"You're asexual?" Frank asked with a neutral expression on his face which made her smile.
"Yeah, i guess i am. And what are you?"
Frank couldn't really come up with an answer, so they fell in silence for a few seconds. Anastasia jumped in.
"It's not like i'm going to say anything to anyone. Goddammit, church doesn't approve what i am because apperantly woman are born to get married and have children. And that sucks. Church sucks actually."
They looked at each other, almost bursting into laughter because the situation was ironic. They were kids, 'catholic' kids that their parents thought that everything is straight about them. Frank didn't know what problems Anastasia had and he knew she didn't know how messed up he really was and he wasn't intending too. Frank smiled to her and figured it would be time to say something back.
"I don't know what i am. But i think i am gonna find out soon."
-
"The house looks amazing." His mother said with her lips pouted like she was grading the house. To be honest, the Way brothers thought that the house looked like shit. Their father didn't make a comment about the house or anything at all because to him, those kinds of things were reserved for women because he still lived in the medieval time. Gerard was looking at him with disgust and they led their parents to the couch. His mother crossed her legs while she sat carefully on the small, brown couch. She sat like she was about to get stung in her fucking ass, Mikey rolled his eyes as she did so. The lack of his mother's faith concerned him. Not that he even cared about her or him.
The stiffed couple looked at them with concerned looks and fake smiles. It was awful to think how your parents hated you that much but it was where they were, there was no coming back. Not after what they did, Gerard could never forgive that or worse forget it.
"So..." Their mother started speaking, only making Gerard to widen his eyes and laying back in his sofa while Mikey had his elbows on his knees, waiting for this to be over. "How are you too?"
Gerard and Mikey snaped their heads in the same time towards their mother. Mikey who usually let Gerard to do the talk, intervened and spoke for both of them, leaving Gerard suprised.
"We were great." Mikey smirked, getting closer to his brother to get away from the people they were forced to call parents.
His father looked at Mikey and spoke for the first time today in their house. "Aha, i understand. Everything was fine until we came, is that so?"
"Actually, yeah. Everything was fucking great until you came." Gerard blurted out the words.
His father grew hotter and his cheeks were turning red out of anger. "Don't you curse in my-"
"In your? What? Were you trying to say in your house?" Gerard started to maniacally laugh at his father. Mikey nudged his brother to stop laughing so hard because he was acting mad. Well,being mad isn't such a bad thing, if you have someone to be mad with you.
His father was stubborn and it didn't take long for him to start shouting. Well, shouting was his speciality. "What? This is my house! This place belongs to me. There were just inconveniance while that thing happened. And if you think that i am just going to drop this, you're dead wrong."
Their father wasn't capable of looking into his sons eyes, so he diverted them to the window that was a little smudged at the corners because they didn't really have time to wash it and it didn't look that dirty at the moment.
"If you think you have any chance then be my guest. Too bad you can't do anything."
Gerard was mad but the sight of his brother's shaky hands calmed him down. He just wanted them to be gone. It was impossible for him to remember the times when they were good to him or to Mikey, but especially to him. He thought that they were still holding onto some hope for Mikey.
His father smashed his hand against the table like he was some sort of an angry child and Mikey got startled, and their mother and Gerard made the most disguted face they could make.
"You will not disrespect me! I am older than you and you have no right to talk to me like that. I am your father and i know you better than anyone. Better than yourself." His spightful eyes were looking at Gerard and Gerard only.
Gerard just smiled.
His father was about to explode but Gerard interrupted him with the words that will make their father go away.
"If you know me so well, then how come you didn't know i was gay?" And the question went outside the roof as the silence grew in the Way residence.
His father got quickly up on his feet, storming out of the door.
The bang of the shuting the door echoed throughout the house, leaving their mother behind, still sitting on the couch.
Gerard and Mikey looked at their mother in a 'what the fuck are you still doing here' look. And with that their mother spoke with her shaky voice.
"I mean, the real reason, your father and i came today was. I mean."
"Did you suddently forget how to speak?" Gerard snaped at her, leaving their mother wide eyed.
"We wanted to ask Michael if he wanted to live with us?"
Gerard and Mikey just looked at each other. "What the fuck do you mean by that?" Mikey snapped first this time.
His mother raised her eyebrows like that was something to expect.
"I mean, look at this house. It's a mess and i'm sure that you and Gerard don't really clean it up properly even though it looks nice now."
"I don't want to live with you."
Mikey stood up, straighting his back so that he looked extremely tall while his mother was still positioned on the couch.
"But, Mikey. You don't want to live with your brother. He's,he's..."
"C'mon, mum. Say it. It's not that hard. What? It is hard for you, isn't it. Well, i'm going to say it for you. He's gay. So what? The world is ending. Why would you even want me to live with you?"
"We want you to live in a nomal surrounding and not with ..." His mother said with tears in her eyes.
"You know what? I am gay too."
His mother looked at Mikey terrified. "What?" Her voice was close to squicking.
"Yeah, now get the fuck out of our house."
Their mother stood up slowly, started walking out of the room , leaving Gerard confused and Mikey smiled from his ear to ear. Their mother looked at them once more before she left. Her look was mixed with dissappointmant and disgust. Everything you ever wanted from your mother.
The door shut, this time a lot quieter than when their father left the house.
Gerard started laughing. "What the fuck, Mikey. Since when are you gay?"
Mikey sat back on the sofa, this time a lot more relaxed than when they were there. "I knew what to say. Just I. You know i am extremely confused. And she doesn't even know about other sexualities, so why bother explaining."
Gerard imagined what it would be like if their parents understood. His sight went blurry for a second because his life would go in a totally different direction. He probably would've never met Frank. And that was something he would never want to change.
"Mikey, you're the best."
"I know, Gee. I know."
-
Frank heard the phone ringing.
He and Anastasia have been talking for what now seemed like hours and it hasn't even passed one hour. Frank apologised to Anastasia for the ringing and he listened to his mothers footsteps as she answered the phone. Chatter from downstairs was soon forgotten by both of them and Frank fell on the bed in a totally non-sexual way because they were just friends and Frank at least hoped that they will become because Anastasia really looked like someone you could rely on. Frank didn't really have anyone to rely on. He rolled in life like no one will notice him or help him and the fact that he now had someone to fail, scared him to death.
Anastasia looked at him with her eyebrows raised because Frank hasn't spoken anything for twenty seconds.
"What's the problem, Frank?"
Anastasia supported herself om her elbows so she can see Frank clearly because Frank seemed to dissapear inside his bed.
Frank turned to her and looked above her, in that one spot where he smashed his lamp once because he was mad. He needed an explanation for his behaviour but he also knew that not many people would even understand how he acted. He didn't understand himself sometimes, why would other people?
"I just-just need time." Frank answered his only female friend, or what he hopped would be his friend. "I need time to figure out who i am and time to figure out what i am going to do with myself."
"Call me if you need help."
"I don't have your number."
"Don't worry. Your mum will call me. She probably already has my medical record and my dirty history already dug out and everything she needs to know. Phone number is the least she'll do." Anastasia started laughing and Frank couldn't stop giggling because damn, this person was awesome, and definitely not something he deserved.
Sometimes he could catch himself counting days, counting days of his existence. And as the clouds passed, his thoughts were rapid. Not even in this moments of happiness, he couldn't stop it. There was no way of stopping it. If you didn't feel like having true happiness then you didn't even look for it. And that was Frank's case.
Anastasia wasn't laughing anymore and she sat on Frank's bed instead of laying on it. Frank was still on his back and Anastasia looked at him with concern. "I think that your mother thinks that we are going to get married one day. Too bad she's totally missing out on the whole sexuality thing. But who cares, she doesn't need to know. Don't get bumed about it."
"I'm not going to, i promise." Frank said as his mother walced in his bedroom without knocking what wasn't weird at all. Her smile grew as she saw them on his bed. Frank couldn't really believe how see-through his mother was.
"You know what, you two look amazing. Honey, someone needs you on the phone. Someone from your class." His mother put her hand on her hip which really made Frank vomit for a bit. But that wasn't a problem at the moment because someone from his fucking class needed him on the phone. Someone from his class had his phone number. Frank was about to have a heart attack and his chest tightened as his mother looked at him like he's insane. Then again he wasn't far from going that way if he's mother didn't provide him with more details soon.
"Frankie, are you okay? You look a little pale. Well, this boy is extremely polite. We talked for a bit now. He said he needs to talk about a biology project and how you should come to his place to do it. His name is Gerald Whale or something. He's really polite."
Frank stood up , maybe too quickly. "Is he still on the line?"
"Yeah, honey. He is. He said he'll wait."
And with that Frank made his legs work so that Anastasia and his mother can't see how horribly red he was in his face.
He was practicly jumping to the phone. And he saw the black phone in front of him and he picked it up slowly because he was sure he would drop it.
"Hello?" Frank's voice was shaking just at the thought of Gerard holding his phone.
"Hello, sir. This is Gerald Whale speaking." Gerard laughed and Frank could feel his face burning up.
"Gerard, what are you doing?" Frank asked with a giggle.
"Uhmm, have you forgot, Frank. We have a biology homework to do and that requires you and me and the biology thing in my house, right away."
"Biology project."
"Whatever, Frank." Gerard groaned as Frank acted like a nerd he was.
"We need to be consistent if we are going to lie. And yeah, how the fuck do you have my home number?"
"Well, you ran off and i had no time to ask you your phone number, so it wasn't really hard to find the Iero family in the phone book." Gerard shuffled from his right to his left leg and his trousers made a sound." Phone books are awesome. So yeah, will you come to my house so we can do that biology project?"
"What do i need to bring?" Frank said while touching the edge of his shirt.
"Yourself, in something sexy. And by sexy, i mean anything you want to wear because you look sexy in everything. But if you are up to going naked to my house, i am good for that too. But i don't want you to get a cold or something outside, so clothes would be great."
Frank wanted to scream because he couldn't believe this was happening to him.
"Oh, God."
"Don't call upon God now, you'll need it later." Gerard said while smirking to himself.
And Frank's only thoughts were fuck, just fuck.
-

Notes

This chapter was hella amazing. The character Anastasia was created by my best friend Anastasia. So herr ya go. Hope you enjoyed it. Creating some plot here. Comments and votes would be awesome. Thank you guys xx