"Loving shouldn't cause pain."
The therapy continued. There was a lunch break between the sessions. People could really talk a lot when they knew nobody's going to judge them. After Gerard said his last words,the room went dead silent and Cassie laughed nervously and continued talking to other people.
Frank thought about the fact that even Cassie looked a little fucked. Which was impossible because she was supposed to be the one "fixing" them.
Why was everything always about fixing people?
People need to sort out their priorities and figure out how to function on their own.
Frank believed that no one was normal. Every single human being was sick in one way or another.
There are two types of people. The one that understand that they are sick and the ones that don't.
Frank was sitting at the green table which looked like it was going to collapse every second. Huge hospital with a lot of money doesn't want to give a little money to the part of hospital that was specialized in mental illness.
That actually said a lot about people.
People didn't believe that mental illnesses even exist.
The phrase 'It's all just in your head' was a stupid one.
Like you know,mental illnesses were in your head.
Fuckers.
Sometimes people just needed to shut the hell up about the things they didn't know anything about.
Frank was sitting at the table,just staring at the walls,eating nothing because he totally forgot about lunch when he ran out of his house.
But the important thing is that he had crayons in his bag. Frank still didn't know how that ended up in his bag.
A tall,red headed girl approached him and sat down opposite to him.
Frank didn't want to look up because he knew he will need to talk. The girl was sitting and looking at him without blinking.
She coughed and started talking. "So where do you know Gerard from?"
He didn't want to answer anything or to look up because he could feel himself blushing on the mention of Gerard's name.
Frank cleared his throat. "I don't know him."
"You sure about that?" She asked with her hand on her neck. "Because it sure didn't look like it."
"What do you want?" Frank gathered the courage to say that without blushing.
"I want to know the story."
"Which story?"
"About you too lovebirds."
Frank almost started to laugh.
Lovebirds? For fuck's sake. This one was on crack. Well not literally,because just half an hour ago she talked about bulimia.
He thought that people here were introverts but that apparently didn't apply to everyone.
"There's nothing to say."
The girl had a hard time believing that. She snorted and walked away. What was the point of this,anyway?
Group therapy is split into two parts,the first one ended for Frank and the other kids. This lunch break was in the middle of the two part adventure called group therapy. Second part came after lunch.
There was a huge clock in the room. It ticked so loud when everyone was silent and it caused Frank to jump a little out of his chair everytime it was too loud.
Frank didn't expect to find so many diverse people here.
People always thought that people with mental illnesses are the ones that are not accepted in society.
The group had many athletes. Which was weird. There was a soccer player with self-harm issues. It wasn't very logical,but Frank guessed that the certain dude didn't really want to play soccer.
Inside Frank's head there were a lot of questions,but he didn't really needed them to be answered.
Everything was starting to make more sense. The people around him were sitting on these awful green chairs on the horrid green tables. Everyone had a group of friends or someone who they liked to share time.
Frank sat alone. The worst time was like this when he sat alone. It made him realize how lonely he really is.
True,he liked silence,but sometimes it would get overwhelming.
He liked to be alone,but he didn't want to be lonely.
It was trully a fucked up state to be.
The clock ticked louder as people talked less. Frank scanned the room to find the person who made him really question everything.
Frank figured it was because he payed attention to him. Nothing was worse than realizing that this was the first time someone wanted to talk to him just because they wanted to.
He sighed with relief when he didn't see Gerard. The chair next to him was empty.
Wrong.
Gerard sat next to him while putting his cigarettes on the table producing sound that wasn't there just seconds ago.
"So,I see. Maya has done an intervention on you already." Gerard threw him a playful glare.
"She's done it pretty quickly this time. She only does it that quickly with people she likes."
Gerard smelled like a different type of flowers today but the scent was mixed with cigarettes.
The clock ticked as Gerard watched straight into Frank's eyes. It was unfortunate to be in Frank's position. Gerard looked really beautiful and him staring right in his eyes wasn't helping Frank at all.
"So this girl-Maya you said." Frank stoped. "How quick did you get an intervention?"
Gerard laughed,throwing his head back.
This wasn't funny to Frank at all and Gerard was drawing way too much attention.
"She has never done it with me." He looked behind Frank.
"But it's nice that you think that people like me."
Frank jerked off a bit. "I don't like you. You-"
"It is incredibly adorable to see you try to convince yourself." Gerard smirked. " Are you even a bit curious?"
Shit.
Frank was curious. He wanted to know more about Gerard,but then at the same time Gerard practicly threatened his personal space. For normal people this wasn't violating personal space but this is Frank we're talking about.
Gerard started to whistle an unknown tune. Frank wanted to escape but the doors are locked and the windows are sealed and also if there was an exit through the window they would end up dead. They were on a higher ground.
"I don't want to know." Frank lied.
It was better to stay in the dark than to step inside an unknown area.
"Okay, I won't force you to do anything. But,you know where to find me if you change your mind." Gerard winked at him and started exiting the room,leaving Frank to think.
It didn 't take long.
Frank stood up and started running to Gerard. Gerard started walking faster,practicly teasing Frank.
"Gerard!" Frank shouted.
Gerard stoped and turned around with a smirk. Frank thought how that smirk never came off of his face,making him look cocky and really attractive.
"Where do you wanna start?" Gerard said.
"First off,how did you know my name?" Frank asked while making a hand gesture and not looking straight into Gerard's eyes.
"Oh my,we can't talk about that here,someone might see us." Gerard joked.
Frank was getting annoyed. "Why are you talking like we are about to have sex or something?"
Gerard looked at Frank with his mouth open,looking suprised. "Well i mean. You never know." He said that with the biggest grin Frank has seen on Gerard yet.
What the ever loving fuck??
"Oh,don't look so shocked. Even fucked up people have sex." Gerard proclaimed.
Frank really needed to choose words better.
"No,but really. We ain't gonna talk about it here. After group therapy,maybe?" He said still smiling.
"Oh-okay" Frank mumbled.
-
The smell of teenagers would spread every once in a while throughout the whole room. It seemed that even fucked up boys had fuckboy complex.
That wasn't really something that Frank approved or liked. Fuckboys were something that wasn't specified and Frank didn't even know the word fuckboy. He just knew about those kind of boys. Violent,assertive and those kind of guys were currently filling the room.
It sure as hell was the only thing that Frank tried to avoid. He would literally kill himself if he figured that he became one of those guys.
The lunch break was long over and addictive teenagers and young adults started to fill the room once again for the last therapy of the day.
The contrast between the day and the atmosphere in the group therapy was astounding. Everbody was frowning and waiting for this hell to come to an end.
Cassie reappeared with a new sweater which was confusing only to Frank because it seemed like he was the only one who noticed. The name tag was still there but the sweater was different. Frank looked around to see if anyone has seen what he has seen. Nobody made any movement whatsoever. The whole group had their heads up high. Maybe it was prayer time or something Frank had no clue about.
Gerard looked at his hands and twisted them,making sound with his wrists while completely staring at them. It looked like he was in another world.
He did look weird while zoning off. In his own world,his eyes would get blurry and it looked like tears would fall out of them any second. His black scruffy hair fell over his eyebrows and a few of his strands made their way into his eyes but he didn't seem to mind.
Frank was staring at Gerard for a good few minutes before Cassie started speaking again.
Gerard smiled while looking down. He knew Frank was watching him and he knew he got him on his bait. It was just a matter of time now.
"We knew that i'd happen eventually."
Teenagers shot their heads up on the mention of someone's words. The blond-headed dude spoke for some reason. He was now sitting on the other side of the room,far away from Frank.
"Um, Reggie? Is there something you want to tell us?" Cassie brushed off nervously. She was far too nervous for a person who should be fixing and helping people.
"I mean,that one day this will all come to an end." Reggie's hands shaked.
"There is no point." The guy was talking like he was in a dark place. Which wasn't really weird because they all were.
"Would you care to explain?" Cassie said louder with a 'Everything's gonna be alright' smile.
Reggie looked at every single person there was in the room. He looked like he was about to cry,but no actual tears were coming down his face. His expression was dull and it didn't look like he was about to say something clever.
The next thing Reggie said really hit Frank.
"Loving shouldn't cause pain."
The colors started to drip from the walls and from the chairs and from the things that had colour on them. It all became black and white,making everything look so monotone. Melancholy was creeping inside Frank and he couldn't help but shiver under the influence.
Colours dripped and circled in the centre of the room and then they left the room through the window where they belong.
Something was standing out in the whole picture because even though the colours have left something was extremely bright in the room.
Frank looked for the source of the light and after a long time and a long reassuring himself tjat he isn't on some heavy trip or some other drugs,he finally saw it.
The source of the light were Gerard's eyes. The hazel colour beaming like a streak in a dark stormy night.
These things never happened before. Usually he had this thing when he would zone off and everything would turn into a noir movie. It confused Frank at the same time as it excited him.
It must have been the words that Reggie said. It probably triggered him to zone off into a Tim Burton like scene.
It made him start to think. Loving and hating very actually pretty similar. You were putting a lot of energy on a person or people. However you look at it,you had to spend a lot of energy on the action itself.
Cassie tried to provide Reggie with advices but Reggie barely nodded his head on her remarks.
The next thing he could feel was a hand on his arm which was leading his out of the room.
Fuck,while Frank was zoning off,the therapy fucking ended.
Gerard took him by his hand and led him into the nearest empty room. The room number 5B was empty and Gerard made his way to the window so he could shut it. Frank felt afraid and most of all terrified of what's coming next.
"So,Frankie? Where do you wanna start?" Gerard proclaimed.
Stuttering was all that came out of his mouth.
"Frank,come sit next to me. I wanna be closer to you." He said that with such ease in his voice while patting the place next to him.
The place was soon taken by Frank,making him realize that their knees and thighs were touching. Not too much,but still enough to make Frank blush.
"How-how do you know my name?" Frank started.
"I have an idea. Let's play a game where you answer a question and you have to be completely honest and then i am obligated to anwer too."
Frank rolled his eyes. This was getting annoying." Okay,go."
"Frank,why are you here?" Gerard asked.
"Because my parents sent me here." Frank replied by only telling the half-true answer.
"My turn. How did you know my name?"
"Wow,Frank pushy much."
Frank rolled his eyes on the comment because it was exactly the opposite.
"It was easy actually. Y'know,i was at Miss Jackson earlier that day and i saw your chart,your name and your picture. You looked cute,so i thought i should remeber it for every case if i get lucky."
Frank? Cute? What?
Was this even real life? A good looking boy was practicly hitting on him. Besides the fact that he was creepy,everything else was fine.
"Do you define yourself by any sexuality?" Gerard raised an eyebrow.
Frank's head was exploding.
"I,uh don't care what people are. I mean what sexuality they are. I guess, i judge based of on personality mostly."
"That's good. So yeah,i know this may sound weird but i wanna do something with you."
Oh,shit.
Gerard continued. "Can i just like wrap my hands around you?"
What the fuck?
"I know we only met but i just want someone to hold me close and tight."
Frank always believed that if he lets himself be happy for a second,life will turn around and slap him across his fucking face.
"I don't know,man."
"Please,Frank."
"Why do you even want to?"
"I crave touch,Frank."
Gerard sat with his legs crossed and started to get closer to him every moment. Frank lifted his arm which felt like they weighted a fucking ton. Gerard'a scruffy hair was touching his face which caused heavy breathing and shivers moving down Frank's back. Gerard started to touch his back and pulling him closer into an embrace. Frank moved his right hand and touched the back of Gerard's hair. Their bodies were conected and Gerard's lips were resting on Frank's collarbone.
It feels so surreal and yet here Frank was,clutching onto a creepy boy with the hazel eyes that radiated because they were the only light there was. Gerard breathed in sharply and so did Frank,consuming all the scentes they had.
Gerard hands and body left Frank in an internal war wheather he deserved this or not.
Also,internal war of happiness and eternal misery brought a question while Frank was holding this peculiar boy.
What now?

Notes

Guys,if you like this shit please vote or comment. I love you all so much for reading this shit of mine. It's 1 am and i am hungry ugh. Please if there is any mistake let me know in the comments or make a smoke signal that will be seen to the country were i live in. Lmao love you guys xx