In My Mind Only

Frank and I sat on his couch watching movies while he had his arm tucked between me and the couch, holding me by my waist. Because he was a bit… smaller than me, I had to lean to the side in order to rest my head on his shoulder. I felt a bit odd being this way with Frank, but it also felt right.

“Gerard?” He asked, half way through the Boondock Saints. I looked over at him and smiled. He returned it, causing my cheeks to heat up.

“I’m going to be straightforward with you, okay?” He said. I laughed.

“You’re nothing but straightforward, Frankie,” I giggled. He chuckled, playfully pushing me.

“Yeah, yeah. Just listen,” he said, becoming serious again. I nodded for him to continue.

“I want you to sleep with me.” I blinked.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do,” I said, confused. He stared at me for a moment, before it finally clicked in me. Oh! I blushed harder than I thought to be possible.

“But… You’re not of age,” I protested.

“I’m 18, Gerard.” I bit my lip. I wanted to make love to him, I do. But I don’t want him to regret it.

“You’re a student,” I argued again.

“But not your student. It’s not illegal.” I stayed silent. You couldn’t blame me for hesitating. He’d been my student for four years, or rather three and a half, and now he wants to make love.

“Do you…” he spoke lowly, “not… want me?” He sounded so small and insecure that it hurt my heart. I quickly pulled him into my arms and buried my face in the crook of his neck.

“Of course I want you!” I said. I squeezed him tighter until he pulled himself back and kissed me with more love and passion than I ever thought Frank Iero was capable of. I felt like I was being suffocated with this feeling of content released all throughout my entire body. It was like I could sit here all day with my head leaning on his shoulders, watching great movies, debating with him about literally everything, and sharing moments of heated passion like this for the rest of my life. It was a scary feeling that I hadn’t been able to feel with anyone since my ex, but that was years about and it didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was the man sitting next to me, holding onto me and kissing me like I would disappear if he stopped anytime soon.

I felt his tongue shyly lick my lower lip, and I immediately granted him access, letting him battle my tongue for dominance. I’m not sure if I was all that thrilled about how experienced he was, but it worked in my favor right now so I’ll ignore it. We parted slowly, staring into one another’s eyes. I felt a huge sense of pride with how red he was turning. I’d made Frank Iero blush and that was something I would proudly brag about.

“Gerard,” he nearly moaned. My breath hitched and I felt that swirling feeling in my lower stomach shooting straight to my manhood, causing me to shift to get release against my jeans. He looked down at my lap and smirked. I was expecting him to do something to me, but, instead, he turned back to the movie and continued watching.

What an asshole.

“Once this movie ends, I’m taking you,” he said as he kept his gaze on the screen. I looked down at his lap and saw that he, too, was aroused. I looked to the screen and saw that Yakavetta had just killed Rocco, which meant the movie was about ten minutes from ending.

“The movie is that interesting?” I asked, lightly softly. He cracked a smile.

“You’re the movie slut here, so you should understand,” he answered. I laughed.

“Seems I’ve been rubbing off on you, Frankie,” I teased.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.” I blushed, knowing that he was talking about the time he walked in on me in the restroom. He laughed when I didn’t answer. I sighed contently and laid my head on his shoulder again, thinking to myself that he was comfortable. I almost jumped up in surprise when he laid his head down on mine in return, but I managed to stay calm and smile so big that it hurt my cheeks. He rested his hand on my thigh and rubbed it with his thumb. It wasn’t at all meant in a sexual way, but as a sign of affection. We watched the rest of the movie in silence, the only sounds made were Connor, Murphy, and their father reciting their prayer before killing Yakavetta and our steady breathing. Both of our arousals had disappeared and I knew tonight would just be spent sleeping. As much as I wanted the man sitting next to me, I was completely fine with waiting. After all, we had plenty of time to-

Oh.

No. No, we don’t. As the reminder was brought back to me, Frank stood and took the DVD out and returned it to its case before turning to look at me.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. I shook my head and smiled up at him.

“No, it’s nothing,” I said. He didn’t seem convinced by left it alone. I was thankful for that, because I probably would’ve started sobbing. He held his hand out to me and I took it, rising from his couch. As I tried my best to swallow the lump in my throat, he led me to what I assumed was his room. It was small but cozy, much like him.

“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong or do I have to read your mind?” He asked as he began stripping, staring with his shirt. He looked skinnier than he used to, his bones showing a bit, but he was still healthy enough. Tomorrow, I’ll go and do some shopping for him before leaving. He needs to take care of himself, because I won’t be here to do that. I also couldn’t deny that he probably could read my mind.

He sighed as he finally came down to his boxers. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into him. I slowly wrapped my arms around his shoulders and didn’t try to stop the tears from coming. He rubbed my back softly, quietly shushing me and it overwhelmed me, because I wasn’t used to this affection from him. I wanted more. I pulled away from him slightly and grabbed his face, crushing my lips to his. He ran his hands through my hair and tugged lightly, causing me to let out a breathy moan. I felt his smirk once again before he walked me back into the bed and pushed me down.

“Frank,” I moaned as he climb on top of me and softly grinded down into my erection, “Not enough contact.” He pulled off my shirt, practically ripping it off of me before moving down to my pants. He slid off of me to pull my pants down, leaving me, too, in my boxers only.

“Really? Superman?” He teased. I giggled.

“They were cool,” I shrugged. Very provocatively, he climbed over me with his eyes never leaving mine before leaning down and licking from my collarbone to my jaw. Fucking tease.

“You’re my superman,” he whispered very softly against my ear, causing me to shiver with want. He moved his hand down my abdomen and stopped right on my manhood, rubbing it painfully slow. I moved my hips up against his hand, trying to get some type of release. I looked down at his hand moving on, but quickly looked up when I felt water hitting my chest. Frank was crying. This wasn’t his normal expressionless crying. No. His lips trembled slightly, his eyebrows knitted together in pain, his eyes stared into mine and I could see nothing but unbearable pain coming from them. I swiftly sat up and embraced him tightly, allowing myself to cry with him. Together, our sobs left our mouths and bounced off the plain white wall causing our pain to echo back at us.

“I love you,” I repeated to him over and over with a hidden meaning of “I’m sorry,” sounding in the background. I knew he understood what I meant. He knew me too well. We laid down clinging to each other until sleep overtook us. Just before I completely dozed off, I heard him say something. It wasn’t until I had already left reality that I realized what he said.

“Never leave me, please.” He was begging me to stay, but he and I both understood that I had to leave. He was leaving to basic in a few months, and it reminded me too much of Mikey. I also came to the conclusion that the only thing keeping us apart, was me. It had always been me.

I just didn’t want to lose him like Mikey. But, in a way, I already was.

Notes

Very short chapter, sorry. But I really wanted to write this. I kinda cried while writing it, to be honest. I recommend listening to Champagne Supernova by Oasis while reading this.

Hope it was enjoyable.
Also, I'm still sure this story will be 40 chapters at most ;-;
Feedback, please! I wanna know how this is going for every one of you!

-OAIF <3