the only hope for me is you

Today had been possibly one of best days I’ve ever had. Gerard drove me home in his car. It was about 06:30 and we were sitting in a comfortable silence with the radio on. We pulled up outside my house and he got out and opened my door, offering me his hand like a gentleman. Why was he so sweet?I grinned and shook my head taking his hand. He treated me like a princess and to say I loved it was an understatement. He led me up to my door and spun me so I was looking at him. He put his hands on my hips and pulled me closer. He leaned in and pulled me into a deep, passionate kiss. I felt like years even though it was really only a few seconds. The street lights gave an orange glow that only just lit up his face. He looked beautiful. We stared at each other for a few moments taking in all the features. The lights shadowed his face but put a glow in his hazel eyes making him look dark, mysterious but fucking gorgeous.

“Frank! What the hell?! Get in here where have you been?!” I heard my mum’s loud voice from the window. I heard her run to the door and I sighed looking at Gerard giving him an ‘I’m sorry look’. He nodded, understanding, and headed back over to his car as I walked in the house.
“Frank, you have been gone all last night and today where the hell were you?! Why didn't you call?! And who was that?!” She said in a raised tone.
“Mom, it's fine, I'm fine. I was with a friend and I fell asleep sorry I forgot to message.” I said walking past her in the hallway avoiding eye contact. I didn't want her to get the wrong impression of me and Gerard. I didn't want her knowing. Not just yet. I wasn’t really sure where things were going with him. And I knew she'd worry about things. She always had a test she would run through everyone I would get close to just to make sure they wouldn't hurt her ‘baby Frankie’ I groaned internally. She could easily scare Gerard off. I really don’t want that to happen. I headed up the stairs hearing her follow.
“He looked like more than a friend to me” she said. I turned on my heels to see the grin on her face and she winked at me. I rolled my eyes.
“It's not like that ok?” I snapped. She laughed and put her hands up in defence
“Ok whatever you say!” She said and I continued walking up the stairs her still following.
“Sooooo… What's his name??” She asked inquisitively. I rolled my eyes
“Mom.” I groaned turning and glaring at her. She laughed. We got to the landing and she followed me to my room.
“Seriously mom?” I looked at her and glared as she stood leaning in the door way.
“I want to know about him Frankie I want to know he's a good kid.”
“He is mom. Trust me. Just drop it.”
“Okay, okay.” She said with her hands in the air laughing. I rolled my eyes and lay on my bed.
“Dinners in 1 hour come down then ok?” She shouted from the stairs.
“Mmhmm.” I responded and I heard her give a slight laugh. I sighed and my mind wandered. My mind wandered to Gerard. His smile, his hair, his laugh, his everything, he was just perfect. God, I've never been this attracted to someone and to be honest it sucks. Like why was he so fucking perfect! I’m just scared things are going to fast with us. Plus him not being openly gay sucks, a lot. I mean I guess once he gets used to the idea he’ll come out... right? Wait what if he doesn’t. I mean I said I was ok with it but to be honest it kind of bugs me, I just didn’t want to upset him. It’s just hard to go out in public and not be able to hold his hand, or kiss him, or have him put his arm around my waist and pull me close. I love it when he does that.

Schools going to be so awkward, I mean having to stand next to him and act like friend or even less. Ugh I didn’t realise how complicated this is going to be. I mean he said he doesn’t mind when we are outside of the area around the people he has a ‘different life’ with, or at least that’s how he described it. But it’s really awkward when his ‘different life’ includes his ex girlfriend. She seemed fine with us though which I guess was good. I couldn't help but be little jealous of her though, I mean she seemed really, I don't know, happy and close around him. I know its stupid but I get really jealous really easily. I just wish it didn’t have to be complicated. I don’t know what I’m going to do at school tomorrow. I sighed and looked at the time. It was 07:40; food should be ready by now. I walk down stairs to see my mom dishing out the food onto plates. I set the table knowing she’d appreciate the help. Dinner actually seems normal. She seemed to have dropped the whole Gerard thing for most part, which I majorly appreciated.

After dinner I go upstairs and get ready for bed. It feels a bit weird without Gerard around me. I just want to feel his warmth around me again. It feels a bit empty. I think that night with him was the best I’ve ever slept. The way we moulded together, the warmth of his body snuggled against mine. I just wish tomorrow would make up for it, but I won’t even be able to hold his hand. I sighed, turning over in my bed and tried to sleep still dreading tomorrow. Tomorrow was going to be a long day...

Notes

sorry its been so long! this site is being really glitch with me though which isn't helping. I've been really ill lately though and I have a lot of home issues and stuff. its complicated but I hope u guys at least understand a little. sorry for my crappy writing. thank you so much for reading this. it makes me feel like I can actually do something right for once :)