the only hope for me is you

I woke up the next morning feeling really weird. I replayed yesterday’s events in my head. Oh god. I really wasn’t looking forward to school. I need to avoid him at all costs. I threw on a Black Flag t-shirt and some skinny jeans not really caring what I wore.I didn’t need to impress anyone. Or did I? No frank. You are not to go anywhere near Gerard. Ugh. I put in my lip ring and messed about with my hair. I went downstairs shouted good bye to my mum and left the house. I was not looking forward to this.

The school started to come into sight. Gerard was right it did look like a shit hole. Ugh. I made my way in and to the office to get my schedule and locker combo. I looked on the map and tried to find my locker. I turned down into the main hallway which was packed with students. I had already got a few weird looks but I just shrugged it off. I seen where my locker was supposed to be and started to walk towards it, until I seen Gerard. I put my head down headed towards my locker bumping into a few people but hoping he didn’t notice me. I walked straight into someone but quickly said sorry and kept on walking, still hoping not to be noticed. I suddenly felt a tight grip on my shoulder. I turned around the hand still tight on my shoulder making it throb.
“Well well, looks like we have another punk prick on our hands.” He laughed his mates joining in behind him. They were obviously on a sports team by the jerseys they were wearing.
“I don’t think I’m the prick here.” I retaliated
He came closer to my face. “You should watch your mouth pretty boy”
“Make me”
The whole corridor went silent. Everyone was watching us including Gerard. Before I knew it my jaw was in allot of pain. I felt it and my lip was bleeding. Wow punched on my first day well done frank.
“Well that was nice of you, thanks for the new look!” I said sarcastically.
He let go of my shoulder and glared at me then he continued to walk away barging into my shoulder as they walked past. I rolled my eyes and went to unlock my locker. Everyone was still staring at me but I just ignored them. I felt a warm hand grab my opposite shoulder. It was soft and calming in a way. I turned around to see Gerard looking at me with concern, so much for avoiding him.
“Frankie, are you ok?”
“Yeah I’m fine and dandy!” I said sarcastically.
“Sorry, stupid question I guess. Ignore Matt he’s such a dick.” Gerard said. I smiled and turned back to my locker his hand still on my shoulder.

I seen Matt coming back from the corner of my eye, I tensed up. Gerard noticed and stepped closer to me. “Just stay close to me and he won’t touch you.” Gerard whispered. I could smell his sent. It made my stomach flutter. “Wow you got Way here to protect you. Smart.” Matt snarled coming closer, Gerard stepped in front of me. “Why don’t you fuck off Matt?” Gerard said. Matt glared again before continuing to walk. “Thank you...” I whispered softly. “It’s ok; you want me to help find your classes?”
“You will be late for your classes though.”
“They aren’t important.” He said with a smile. I knew he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

The bell rung and everyone started going to class. I was in the bathroom with Gerard cleaning up my lip. We waited for the halls to clear and he put his arm around my shoulder. I tensed up and he quickly removed it. God damn it. I can’t get close to him. Frank listen to yourself. He’s probably like the rest of them. Just leave him. Say you can find the classes on your own. You can’t go through that again. You can’t go through thatagain. My breathing started to pick and my legs went wobbly. I stopped still and I started to black out. I felt myself fall.

I opened my eyes and I was on a bed in a white room, I’m guessing it was the nurse’s office. I sat up and looked around to see Gerard sitting in a chair next to the bed. Before I knew it I was engulfed in a hug. “Frank, are you ok? I was so worried. You started breathing really heavily and you wouldn’t answer me then you passed out. You’ve been out for a good 30 minutes.” He said with concern in his eyes. Great I hadn’t even been to class and I’ve already been punched and had a panic attack. What even caused my att- oh god. I started to remember why and the thoughts no. No. No. I felt tears run down my face. “Frankie talk to me. What’s going on?”
“I- ii don’t want to talk about it. I think you should go.”
“Frankie you don’t have to tell me but I’m not leaving, as I told you I’m clingy. Look why don’t we skip school today we could go back to the store and you could just sit for a little while.”
“We can’t just skip school. My mum will find out.”
“Oh trust me. She won’t if I have my way. And I always have me way.” I smiled slightly and he took my hand taking me out of the school. I didn’t retract my hand. His hand felt so soft and comfortable. He led me to a car on back.
“Holy shit is that yours? It must have cost you a fortune.” I said seeing, what looked like, a really expensive car.
He shrugged and we got in the car. “Do you mind if we stop by my place? I want to grab a few things. Unless you just want to hang out at mine instead of the shop. I don’t know it’s your choice,” He said “it will just be more private you know?”
“Yeah we can just stay at yours if you want but it’s your house so it shouldn’t be my decision.” Why was I being so lenient with him? Where’s arsehole frank when I need him?? I’m too close. My breathing Started to pick up again. I felt a hand on my thigh and Gerard looked at me concerned again. “Frankie? Hey listen to me. You’re ok. Everything’s alright. Just take deep breaths.” He said softly. I started to calm down and looked over at him he kept his hand on my thigh and slowly rubbed in circles soothingly. I felt jolts of happiness run through my body. What was this guy doing to me? Every time he touches me it send electricity through me, it just feels so natural.

“Come on let’s get you inside.” He said pulling in through some gates his house. More like a mansion compared to what I was used to. I got out of the car and stumbled a bit, still feeling a bit dizzy. He put his arm around my waste and held me close. Part of me just wanted to run, another wanted to kiss him. He pulled me inside and holy hell this place was huge. Then it clicked. I knew where I’d seen his house before. He was the richest kid in the town. I had seen his house when I had looked up the town. Why the hell was he taking a liking to me? He let go from my waist. My heart dropped from the lack of contact. What the hell was wrong with me? I probably showed my sadness because he quickly grabbed my hand and we went upstairs. He led me into his room and I stood there awkwardly. “Make yourself comfortable Frankie.” He said with a slight smile. I went over and sat on the bed looking around his room. It actually reminded me of mine but much bigger with more expensive stuff in it. I sat there awkwardly not knowing what to do. He put in a CD and he started singing along.

And your eyes are the size of the moon
you could 'cause you can so you do
we’re feeling so good
just the way that we do
When it's nine in the afternoon

His singing was amazing. I couldn’t help but smile and giggle slightly “What?” he said with a smirk. “Oh nothing. It’s just you’re a really good singer” he started to sing badly on purpose and start dancing like an idiot. I couldn’t help be laugh. He smiled, Omg his smile it was just perfect! Kind of like him. Jesus Frankie stop it. Stop thinking about him ugh. He bent down to pick up some clothes off the floor. My eyes immediately went to his ass I couldn’t help it! I just ugh... I groaned at myself internally. He turned around to look at me a smirk playing on his lips.
“Yes I know I have a sexy ass but you don’t have to stare.” He said winking. I deep red blush came across my face. He laughed and came to sit next to me, sp close our thighs were touching. My breathing hitched again.

I got up and started pacing. No Frankie no. Don’t get close. Stay away. Ugh why was he so sweet and sexy? Fuck my life. I could see Gerard was looking at me, he was definitely worried. I couldn’t let it happen again, I couldn’t let him get close, I can’t let anyone get close. This is bad, very bad. I looked at him and a tear rolled down my face. He immediately got up and put his arms around me, his warm embrace comforting me. “I- I need t-to leave. I-I can’t deal with th-this.” I stuttered into his chest. I tried to pull away but he held onto me. He pulled away only slightly and looked into my tear filled eyes. “Frankie I’m not letting you go home until I know your ok, and right now your obviously not. Please, just talk to me Frankie.”
“I-I can’t.” I said pulling away from him walking towards the door he grabbed me hand and spun me around. He gently led me over to his bed where he pulled me onto his lap. “Now Frankie, don’t make me treat you like a child.” He said in a baby voice. I couldn’t help but give a small smile. He laid down with me still in his arms so we were basically cuddling. He brought me close and started playing with my hair. It felt so relaxing. “I- I don’t know where to start, if I tell you it’s going against literally all of my rules, but if I don’t I’m probably going to go crazy.” I said.
“Well I think it’s better to break a few rules than crazy.”
“Can I trust you? You can’t tell anyone. Well you probably will because once you find out you won’t want to be near a wreck like me and then you will use everything I tell you against me and my life will turn into hell again. Well it already is hell but you get the jest. But I’ve only known you for what 2 days so how can I know to trust you. I really just don’t know what to do.” I said it more to myself than to him. I exhaled; I didn’t breathe the entire time I was talking as I went on a sight rant.
“Whoa, Frankie, Slow down. I won’t tell anyone. I will still want to be near you, I can’t flipping stay away from you and to be honest I don’t know why. I’m just so drawn to you. And like hell would I use anything against you I’m not that type of person.” I looked up at him and he gave a reassuring smile. My stomach turning into knots while butterflies still flew. I needed to tell him. He looked genuinely worried about me. I need to tell him. “Ok,” I took a deep breath “I was bullied a lot in school, in every school to be honest. But I had a lot of friends as well so it didn’t bother me. Slowly I was losing friends. They all became friends with the arses I called my bullies. Soon I felt worthless. There was this one person that I trusted with everything. And I mean everything. I had erm...” I trailed off as I started to cry. Gerard wiped the tears from my face and pulled me closer. He kissed my forehead. “I had- s-started to- erm h-hurt myself.” Gerard pulled me even closer as I heard him gasp slightly. I buried my face into his chest feeling his warmth calm me slightly. “I told him once a-and he told everyone. I – I was a freak in everyone’s eyes. I never trusted anyone after that until you.” I broke down into tears again.
“Oh Frankie, shh baby. Is that why you didn’t want to get close to me? Oh Frankie I’m so sorry.”
I was surprised that he didn’t act like I was a helpless person like everyone else normally did. He seemed to... understand. I was also surprised when he called me baby but I didn’t mind right now to be honest. I nodded against his chest and I felt a tear land on my head. I looked up and he was crying.
“Gerard I’m fine now. I promise please don-“my sentence was broke off by him pulling me into a kiss. It was soft and warm, so gentle and caring. Then he made it deeper, more passionate. I accidently let out a small moan. It felt so right. He pulled away and gave a slight smile.
“Don’t ever go back to that place Frankie. I’ll be here for you I promise and I won’t be like them. You can trust me. I promise you that much.” He said softly but sternly looking into my eyes. I don’t know why I trust him. I mean I’ve known him for what 2 days? I just told him my biggest secret. And he kissed me. It was probably the best moment of my life. I smiled slightly against his chest. We laid there for at least 30 minutes not saying anything, just cuddling.
“Erm Frankie?” Gerard said. I looked up and seen his eyes welling with tears again. “You don’t still... you know, do you?” he asked. I could tell he was uncomfortable but more worried.
“No Gee I promise. I haven’t been there in 4 months. And I promise I won’t be going back any time soon.” I knew that was a promise I might not be able to keep. He gave a slight smile then it faded again.
“So is that why you had the panic attacks? Because you thought I was getting to close. Because you though I would do the same and you would go back there.”
I nodded slightly and he pulled me in tight. I felt his tears on the pillow next to me. I snuggled into his chest. I felt so safe there and I just don’t know why. He was different from the other people I knew.
“C-can I s-see t-t-the s-carrs?” he stuttered.
“Gerard I-“
“Frankie please,” he said pleadingly with concern in his eyes.
I slowly took off my shirt to reveal my pale skin. He ran his fingers across the faint lines in on my skin. He kissed me again. His eyes welling up again “Frankie you are perfect and beautiful in every way and whoever made you feel like this is the worthless one. Remember that.” I smiled slightly as he rubbed his hands on my sides comfortingly. “Why don’t we take a nap all this crying has worn me out.” He laughed slightly. I nodded and he pulled of his shirt so I didn’t feel awkward. I was very self conscious; he could see that by the way I’d hug myself or try to hide my body. I tried to hide myself from him when he got up to turn the lights off. He pulled my arms away from my body and pulled me closer to him. “You’re beautiful Frankie.” He said rubbing his hands on my chest. My heart was beating a million times a minute. He kissed me on the forehead and closed his eyes and pulling me closer. He was warm and soft. I don’t know why this felt so right. I’d know him for two days but it felt like forever. I couldn’t work out why I felt so drawn towards him. Things were going so fast. But I guess I sort of liked it.

Notes

fluff fluff fluff
how am I doing? do people like this?? I hope so! :) sorry if its crappy. and sorry about making it so sad. I promise happiness in the next chapter!