the only hope for me is you

The car was silent as the view of the old town sped out of view, becoming a blur. My mum knew I didn’t want to talk, so the ride was silent as I stared out of the window. I rested my chin on the car door and stared at the blur flying past us. It was a few hours before the new town came into view. We moved a lot. I was sort of used to it by now. We’d move, my mum would find a guy, they would take it too fast, they’d get into an argument and we would move again. I’ve never really had any friends, never had any time to make them. I would always start to get settled and we would move again. Plus with my experiences I don’t really trust people anyway. I was always bullied a lot. I was... different, in a lot of ways. I was the broke one, the gay one (yes I was openly gay), the sad one, the punk one etc. Most people didn’t agree with the way I acted or how I dressed. I knew I was an arsehole. But that made it all the more fun!

Many small streets passed by as we drove down the main road. Out of all the towns in New Jersey I’ve lived in this one looked like the shittiest. We weren’t very wealthy though which made sense with the area choice. We finally pulled down into a small cul-de-sac. It wasn’t the friendliest of neighbourhoods but I’ve been in worse. The house itself looked alright but the surroundings didn’t. Before we came here I looked this place up. Apparently some of the houses round here go for a lot of money. I just wish we could afford it. “Well Frankie, we’re here.” My mum said to me.
“Mmhmm.”
My mum sighed “Frankie don’t be like that. I know it’s hard but... ugh you might like it here.”
“Until we move again.” I said under my breath but I think she heard.
“Come on Frankie let’s just get settled in. Maybe we could go into town later see what’s here. You know I want what’s best for you and back where we used to live just wasn’t it. It looks lovely to here. Come one let’s get these boxes inside and I’ll take you out for pizza eh?”
I couldn’t help but crack a small smile. I love pizza. “Fine. But only for pizza.” I said sliding reluctantly out of the car. She chuckled slightly and went up to unlock the front door. We didn’t have many boxes as we were quite poor, but that didn’t really bother me. All of the main furniture was already there. It had been dropped off earlier in the day by some removal men.

The front door led into a small hallway with two doors leading off it and some stairs at the end. I went straight upstairs with my box and walked into what I thought was my room. It had a navy blue carpet and greyish walls. I put away my clothes in the dresser and closet that had already been set up. I didn’t have many clothes, just enough though. Most of my clothes were just band t-shirts, black skinny jeans and black hoodies. Yes I know I just love colour. I hung up a load of band posters on the walls which covered almost every inch and got out all of my books, comics, CDs and movies. I found a few small shelves near my bed and stored them all there. I took out my green day CD and put it on loud on my speaker. I lied down on the bed and just stared at the ceiling.

I really did hate moving. I mean I never really have a life because of it. I mean I don’t trust people, at all; with my experiences its best to stay well away from everyone. That had become pretty easy for me. No one wanted to hang out with the gay punk kid. I really don’t think I could ever let anyone in. Not unless they were really special. I sighed and twiddled my thumbs. I mean enemies are bad but friends are worse. When you have a friend they know more about you. They know your strong points and your weak. Then they use that against you because they know exactly how to get to you.

After about 20 minutes I got up and walked over to the one box I hadn’t unpacked. I opened it up and took out my guitar. It was quite battered and covered in band stickers but I still loved it. I brushed my fingers across the strings barley being able to hear it due to my music blaring. I started to play along to 21 guns by green day singing along. I felt a tear in my eye and shook my head. I put my guitar in the corner of the room and wiped my eye. I pulled out a few photographs and put them on top of my dresser feeling my eyes tear up again. The pictures were of my dad. One had me and him in it together. He was in his army uniform and was holding me when I was 2. He had died when I was 7 and I still had never really properly gotten over it, neither had my mum for a matter of fact. He had died in Afghanistan due to a road side bomb. Wow I was emotional. I wiped my eyes and backed away from the pictures changing the song.

“Your rooms getting there,” my mum said with a small smile on her face. I nodded and returned the simile “come on lets go into town.”
I gave a slight simile and followed her out. We jumped in the car. The town centre was only a 10 minute drive away so we weren’t in the car for long.
“I have a few errands to run. I need to get some bits and bobs why don’t you have a wonder round? You have your card and your phone right?” my mum asked as we got out of the car.
“Yeah.”
We started walking and found what looked like the town square.
“Ok meet me back here in say 2 hours? Then we will go for pizza. Sound good?”
“Of course it sounds good u mentioned pizza.”
She chuckled and kissed my forehead. “Stay safe see you back here in 2 hours Kay? Don’t be late or ill go for pizza without you!”
“I’ll hold you to that.” I said as I walked away, she chuckled and went in the opposite direction.

I wasn’t really sure what to do to be honest. I wandered round for a good hour scanning the shops looking for anything interesting. I was slowly walking by when I passed, what looked like, a book store. I though why not and went in. It wasn’t just a book store; it was like my dream store. Comics, books, CDs, posters, instruments, I was in awe. I had a short look around and picked out a few comics that I wanted, that’s when I saw a guitar on the back wall. Oh how it was stunning. It reminded me of Billie Joe Armstrong’s guitar. I had always wanted a guitar like his. Billie Joe was one of my idols if you couldn’t tell. I learned guitar off watching him and his live performances. I made my way over casually trying to hide my excitement. I ran my fingers across the strings hearing a beautiful melody.

“Can I help you?” a voice came from behind me breaking my train of thought. His voice sounded so angelic, it was smooth and sexy. I turned around and my breathing hitched when I saw him. “Er... how much is er this guitar?” I asked stuttering. His hair was messy, shoulder length and black. It framed his pale face perfectly. He looked at me from under his long eyelashes with beautiful big eyes. “Follow me and I’ll check.” He said turning around and walking to the counter, my eyes falling onto his amazing ass. ‘Stop it Frankie!’ I thought to myself. I mentally slapped myself and followed him to his desk. He typed a few things into his computer and started making small talk with me to pass the time.
“So are you new here? I haven’t seen you around before.” He said looking up from the computer.
“Uh yeah I just moved. I’m Frank, Frank Iero.”
“Cool, so what brings you to this shit tip of a town then?”He laughed
“Erm, it’s along story” I said awkwardly looking down. I looked up with a small smile as I bit my lip but still avoiding his gaze.
“Hey its cool you don’t have to tell me you know. Oh how rude of me, my names Gerard Way by the way,”
I smiled back feeling slightly awkward.
“Sorry for the wait by the way. These computers are so shitty. So are you going to go to the local school then?” he asked.
“Erm yeah I’m starting tomorrow.”
“Cool I go there too. It’s pretty crappy but you will get used to it.”
I laughed in response and he smiled. Oh how his smile was gorgeous, so fucking gorgeous.
“What grade are you in?” I asked him out of curiosity.
“11th”
“Same, I guess I’ll be seeing you round then.” I said, he looked up and smiled and then looked back down to the computer.
“Yeah I guess,” he said keeping his eyes on the computer but still smiling. He was wearing some black skinny jeans, a smashing pumpkins t-shirt with his name tag on and some eyeliner. Fuck he was hot. I realised I was staring at him so I looked around the store awkwardly. There was a lot going on in this store but I liked it. It had a sort of musky smell but with a hint of books as well. It was very warm but quite dark. It had a rustic look to it. There was a small seating area with a table. This place looked so cosy. “Ah here we go,” he said braking my train of thought again
“The guitar is $900.”
“Holy shit,” I said in shock.
“Yeah I know pricy but the things a beauty. When no one’s around I’ll play it for fun, it’s amazing.”
“I bet! I’m going to have to save up forever for that. But trust me I will get it,” I laughed. He smiled and stood awkwardly. There was a very awkward silence. I needed to get out of there. He was too damn cute, I was very awkward and I couldn’t risk getting close to people “Wait two secs.” I said so I could end this awkward moment.
I walked over to the CD section and picked out a few CDs that I didn’t have yet but wanted. I had saved quite a lot of money up on my card but nowhere near enough to get that guitar. I placed them on the counter along with my comics. His face turned into a smile as he scanned them.
“You’ve got a nice taste in music my friend, and you like comics I might have to spend a little more time getting to know you.” He laughed
“Why thank you.” I said in a posh voice avoiding his ‘getting to know me’ statement. He laughed, then smiled and bit his lip. My breathing hitched again and he clearly noticed by the smirk that was playing on his face.
“I - I’ve - erm got to go,” I stuttered “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, hey dude come find me, if you like I’m sure my mates wouldn’t mind you hanging round with us.”
“Yeah sure thanks.” I said as walking out of the store. He obviously liked me, which means it’s going to be harder to get rid of him. God damn it frank! You can’t get close to people! You know what happens! Ugh. I don’t know why but I actually felt slightly comfortable around him, which made it worse. It was weird and still very awkward though, but that was my fault. I sighed and walked to meet my mum.

I was a few minutes late and still seen she was there. “See I told you that you wouldn’t go without me.” I said with a smirk playing on my face.
“Oh shut up lets go,” she laughed gesturing for me to follow her “I found this small place while I was walking around it looked cosy.”
“The only information I need I that it sells pizza.”
“Yes it sells pizza you addict!” we both laughed and she stopped outside this very small place that really you’d only notice if you were looking for it. We walked in and the smell of mozzarella hit my nose. I took a deep breath taking in the scent. My mum looked at me and laughed shaking her head. “What?” I said laughing. She just chuckled and shook her head again. We were lead over to our seats and we ordered a mozzarella to share. We just talked about random stuff that came to our mind. You know as you do with your mother. Then our food came food came and it was shear bliss. I think I love pizza too much.

“Oh hey Frank.” Said a voice I recognised. I looked up to see Gerard walking over.
“Uh, Gerard, hey.” I replied as he sat at the table next to us. My mum gave me that ‘who is this?’ look but I just ignored it.
“I didn’t expect to see you here. Not many people know about this place. Especially since you just moved.” Gerard said
“Oh uh yeah well we just seen it dose pizza. I love pizza. So we decided to drop in. I thought you were working.”
“I’m going to go to the bathroom I’ll be back in a few minutes.” My mum said giving me that ‘he’s cute you should go for it’ look she winked at me and I rolled my eyes, Gerard chuckled slightly. Did he just see that? Fuck. My mum could see I had an attraction to him. Stupid hormones wanting me to get involved with other people. Fuck. “Yeah but I’m on my break. I’m guessing that was your mum?”
“Yeah...” I replied he looked at me and smiled. I looked down to hide my blush. My mum was gone for a long time and I knew exactly what she was doing. She’s giving me space so I can try and hook up with Gerard. Ugh.“I’m sorry about her by the way. She can be a little er suggestive.”
“Nah it’s ok, she seems nice.” He said with a smile. Why was his smile so gorgeous? Why was he so fucking hot? Ugh. He ordered his food and my mum was still gone. Omg what was taking her so long? I knew she wanted me to hook up with Gerard.
“Hey frank?”
“Yeah?” I replied turning to him.
“Am I making you awkward or anything? I mean I could like leave or sit somewhere else. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me.” He said sounding a bit anxious. He could see I was a bit anxious and tense.
“Nah your fine, trust me.”
“Good, you just seemed a little tense that’s all. By the way, since I’m guessing ill be seeing you around more, there are a few things you should know about me.1 I’m kind of clingy just warning you. 2 I’m a massive dork and 3 I’m gay.” he said
I laughed slightly and turned to him.
“I won’t mind if you’re clingy. Yes from what I can see you are a dork. And I’m gay to so no hard feelings.” I said laughing slightly. He laughed. he looked at me while biting his lip. he smiled and then looked down again. Oh fuck I’m getting way to close. Why did I talk to him again? Why did I tell him I as gay? Why did I say I don’t mind if he was clingy? Ugh. I wish my mum would come out already. I spammed her with texts and she finally came out, getting the hint. I told her I’d wait outside while she paid the bill and I quickly got out of there without saying goodbye to Gerard. I felt bad. But I couldn’t get comfortable. No. I just couldn’t. I had to try an avoid him. I can’t go through that again. No, it’s not going to happen. Or will it?

Notes

ok so this is my first fic. please like tell me how im doing! I know its pretty crap but I hope u like it! :)