Frank POV

I strum out a different song from earlier, conscious of the fact my guitars out of tune. Party is sat grinning at me, I almost become so intoxicated by that smile I forget to play.
“You’re fucking incredible!” they exclaim “I mean I could hear you before but this is just incredible”.
“Thanks” I smile, blushing.
We muck around with my guitar for a bit, Party has a bit of musical knowledge, okay it’s not much but it weirds me the fuck out as Gerard doesn’t have any. They strum softly, the chords a bit slow and messy but not too bad. After a while, Gerard’s mum calls us for dinner.
“Frank, Gerard told me you were vegetarian so we’re having burgers but I got you a veggie burger, that okay?” She smiles as we sit down.
“Yes, god, thank you so much” I say gratefully, taking a massive bite. I look up to find Party looking at me and let out a little giggle with a mouthful of food “Sorry, I’m looking really civilised right now”
They grin and take a massive bite of theirs. For a moment, my stomach twinges as I realise what they’re eating used to be living and breathing but I soon find myself chuckling again.
“Me too” they laugh, their cheeks puffing out like a hamsters. We eat in comfortable silence, glad to have some food inside us after the long afternoon at school. Nonetheless, I can’t finish mine and find myself fiddling with it, worried about appearing impolite “Dude, you look stuffed you don’t have to eat that if you don’t want” they tell me, standing up.
“Yeah, I’m kinda full” I mumble.
“Same” they reply, picking up both our plates. I watch as they place them on the drainer and catch myself staring, becoming more infatuated by the minute. They sit back down opposite me.
“So, what do you normally do?” I ask trying to break the ice.
“Me? Ideally I’d go out to a rave or something but obviously, I just let Gerard or G draw or maybe watch cartoons or something” They explain “What about you?”
“Uh, I just write music, watch telly, sleep, the usual” I answer.
“Writing music’s cool, we all have some lyrics and ideas written out”
My ears prick up and immediately I dive into a fantasy scenario where I write music to their lyrics but I snap myself out of it just as fast.
“We should do something together, you write lyrics, I write music” I suggest.
“That’d be rad. I don’t know though, these lyrics aren’t for any other human eyes”
“Ah okay, I get you”
“Do you wanna go watch some telly?” They ask. I nod and we head into the living room. Gerard’s mum must have headed upstairs because the living room is empty.
“So what do you wanna put on?” They question.
“I don’t know, up to you” I reply, not wanting to be an inconvenience.
“I don’t fucking know! Spongebob?” They suggest sarcastically.
“Yes. Spongebob.”
“Okay, spongebob it is”
And that’s how spongebob becomes the first show I watch in my crushes home and our first moment we properly, silently bond. We sit on the sofa and find ourselves slowly scooting closer to eachother. I watch them more than I watch the telly and I might be dreaming it but I think they might be doing the same. No they can’t be. Can they? No. We giggle in unison in the same moments and their witty comments in all the right times never fail to make my ribs hurt. It’s one of those times where the world seems to turn the other way. We still barely know eachother but right then all my other worries melt away. Everything seems to go in slow motion and I want it to last forever, there’s no other feeling like it, it’s better than any drug. All my anxiety and depression seems like it’s from another person, another life, another universe. The only thing that matters right there is the remarkable kid I’ve fallen hopelessly in love with. And spongebob.

***

“Frankie” I hear a calm, Californian voice call. Party’s. Oh fuck I only went and fell asleep. How embarrassing. Oh shit what if I snored. Or drooled. Ew. I open my eyes and realise I’m laying horizontally across the sofa with my head- wait. My head in their lap. Holy fuck. My eyes dart around the room but I’m aware of their hazel eyes looking down on me.
“You alright?” they ask carefully “You look scared”
“Yeah, yeah, I just- uh” I start.
I’m not used to finding myself in a random living room in an absolutely gorgeous kid’s lap.
“I’m not used to finding myself in a random living room”
“Noob” they giggle, softly “But seriously, you didn’t have a nightmare or anything did you?”
I shake my head quickly.
“Sorry, I don’t know, you were frowning, I’m a bit overprotective so woke you, sorry”
“No no no, don’t be sorry, it’s okay”
We lay in the same position for a few moments, before I stretch and wake myself up.
“You know, you’re adorable when you’re asleep” they compliment coyly and I feel myself blush.
“Th-thanks” I smile.
“I hate to say it but maybe it’s best I woke you, it’s getting late and I don’t know what your plans are for getting home?”
It’s pitch black outside and I glance up at the clock, it reads 8:45.
“I’ll walk, it’s about half an hour from here”
“Okay, are you sure, do you want me to come with you”
“No no no, it’s fine”
“Okay. I’ll walk halfway” they hum. I reluctantly agree, but secretly am glad to spend more time with them.
We collect my things from their room and they let their mum know we’re leaving. As soon as the door opens, I’m hit by the cold winter air.
“Fuck it’s freezing hold on” They exclaim and dart back inside. Moments later they reappear with a hoodie and a body warmer on “Do you want an extra layer?” they ask.
“No no, I’m fine” I assure them, snuggling into my hoodie.
“If you’re sure” They mutter, closing the door “So where do you live?”
“Uh normally I turn the other direction leaving the school, in fact we just walk to the school then keep going that direction, across the main road then it’s just through my estate” I explain “If you want, you can leave me at the school”
“Okay” they murmur.
I can smell rain as we walk through the streets. I love that smell. I didn’t realise it raining but it must have done while I slept.
“Sorry for sleeping earlier” I mutter, feeling embarrassed again.
“Frankie, its fine!” they exclaim. The night is colder than expected and I feel myself gravitating towards them for warmth as we walk “You okay?”
“Yeah yeah, just cold” I assure them, quickly.
“I told you you should of borrowed something of mine” They sigh “I have 2 things on actually, you can wear one if you want”
“No it’s fine” I assure them. Before I know it, we are turning onto the road the road the school is on. It’s quite long though so we have a few minutes yet. I feel myself warming up, it’s busier round here.
“Sorry if I’m not much company, I’m comfortable with silence but I just realised how awkward this must be for you” they pipe up suddenly.
“No, it’s fine” I assure them for what seems like the hundredth time this evening “Comfortable silence shows people get along well you know, there’s no need to like prove yourself by talking constantly”
They agree and I find myself lost in a conversation about silence. I feel bad for them, there’s always noise in their head, from what I can tell they never experience true silence.
“Party, where’s Gerard right now?” I wonder.
“Right now he’s not conscious because he doesn’t always like the streets at night, but before we left he was chatting to me the whole time” they explain.
I nod.
“Is it bad that he’s not conscious?” I ask.
“No not at all, okay maybe a bit because I mean he needs to face these things eventually but it happens quite often, he’s fine” They explain.
“Sorry for all the questions. So will he remember what’s happening right now?” I ask.
“I don’t think so, but he will probably be aware of what happened maybe and I mean I can totally tell him so don’t think you can go offloading your secrets. Well you can if you want but the others will probably know too” they ramble.
“So whose conscious now?”
“Just me and G”
“So what is it like I mean it must be so odd and unstable having random bits you don’t remember”
“I don’t know any different, I guess it’s weird I mean theres literally no structure it’s just like oh look it’s school oh look it’s dark. I think I remember most of the things that go on because I’m conscious as much as possible though. Same with Gerard.”
I nod.
“Is it not scary?”
“A bit I suppose especially if something bad happens and we have to pick up the pieces but we’re not exactly sure what we’re picking the pieces up of. Nothing bad’s gonna happen anytime soon though.” They add, picking up on my concerned expression.
“No it’s just like that’s terrifying. So you could find yourself in hospital and have no idea how you got there?”
“Well yeah. That’s why I try to be as conscious as possible. But something like that happens very rarely, I’d say currently I remember maybe 80% of what happens I mean I might need reminding but it’s in there. And even then I think another alter holds the other 20%”
I nod.
“So do you hold any memories that Gerard doesn’t know about?”
They go silent for a few moments, thinking.
“Yes” They reply bluntly.
“May uh I ask what?”
“You can ask but don’t expect an answer.”
“Okay, does Gerard have any memories you or the others don’t know about?”
“I fucking hope not. That’d mean we’ve failed”
I frown.
“We were made to protect Gerard” They clarify.
Suddenly out of nowhere, just as we are getting near to the school, I hear myself squeal and become aware of myself freezing to the bones. Looking around, I hear a car driving away and realise it just ran through a puddle completely soaked me. I’m aware of Party giggling but they stop sharply.
“Dude are you okay!?” they ask, concerned. I can’t reply for a moment before I find myself shivering uncontrollably “Shit you are absolutely soaked!”
“I- I y-yeah” I get out, somehow giggling. Normally in this situation I’d want to stab someone.
“You can’t stay in that hoodie, you’ll give yourself hyperthermia” They sigh “Wear mine. That’s an order.”
I can’t really object. They walk over to the lamppost and take off their body warmer. Shit right by the light. Moments later, they are shoving their hoodie into my hands and quickly putting their body warmer back on.
“A-are you sure?” I murmur.
“Yeah, I have a long-sleeved top on I’ll be fine”
I freeze for a moment before realising I have no choice. Self conscious, I take off my hoodie. It’s dark, maybe they won’t see. Plus if Gerard’s not conscious maybe he won’t remember. As fast as I can I shove their hoodie on, the warmth undeniably comforting.
“I guess this is where I leave you” They sigh. I nod, unsure of what to door. They pull my into a tight hug and I feel my heart flutter.
“Thanks for having me” I mumble as they pull away, still slightly shocked.
“It’s nothing, thanks for not running miles as soon as you met me” they laugh.
“S’alright. See you tomorrow, I guess”
“Yeah, be careful, text me once you’re home safe” they smile. I agree, we say our goodbyes and I head home, putting in my earbuds. Luckily, my phone was in my jeans and didn’t get too wet.
I rush home, arriving about 15 minutes later and get my phone out to text Party, only to realise they got there first. I read it and suddenly feel sick.
Gerard: Do you really think I didn’t notice your wrists? Call me first next time x Party xo

Notes

so heres a thang
idk semi long time no update
i'm currently writing for fics which is weird considering about this time last month i was writing nil
my mental health has been kinda :// tbh
idk if i told the readers of this fic but i have mentioned it but yeah we've been given the exact date we're being evicted. Ironically i've forgotten it but maybe it's best, i've been tryna not to think about it. But guys i still don't know where we will go, hell I don't even know if there'll be wifi. But yah plz bear w me w these updates.
also random but whats the weather like where u are? Here in the uk its fucking boiling i thinking imma pass out. Ik to all u americans our heatwaves are just an average spring day but seriously ur acclimatised to that shit, us brits feel like we've been living in a pressure cooker for the past few days.
Hope u all had a beautiful day :)
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Megan x
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