3 : 28

3: 28
Frerard

-


Gerard tried to connect the dots on the ceiling tiles of his living room, it was another restless night and this time, Gerard wanted so desperately for everything to make sense. He wanted to feel what it was like to have the love he foolishly gave away to be reciprocated but with no avail results Gerard only had his memories; the memories were spreading thin with the more he relished in them each passing day.

The memories and the man within them becoming fuzzier—a blur, the man was becoming a blur because he left and turned his back on Gerard. Left him before he could have even bothered to possibly leave without a moment’s notice, in all considerable opinions, at least Gerard could justify his departure.

Did Frank ever regret leaving?

The more time that passed, the more unanswered questions popped up and obscured Gerard’s ability to think straight. What hurt the most was not the memories fading, it was the feelings that were left behind, similar to poison in the mouth; the feelings left a bitter taste and made Gerard wanted to purge the feelings right out but he wanted to feel it all… even if it meant drowning in it.

Gerard wanted whatever he could salvage left, and he’d be damned to admit it was mere desperation for Frank. He wanted to keep the hope enviously alive just for the sake of believing in some fucked up way that Frank was going to show up one day and reciprocate what has become a very dark hole in Gerard’s head.

The more the dots were seeming to connect, the more Gerard’s chest ached. He needed to get out of the apartment, a least while he has the chance… he knew he had to get as much fresh air before the treatments were going to make him weak…

Gerard figured a night jog would bait him away from thinking about alcohol and Frank. Gerard got his jogging gear on and decided no headphones were needed as he dissented down and out of his apartment to the chilling streets. Alcohol was the one demon he always had to fight off, when he had Frank, the man fought off many of Gerard’s demons to a point that Gerard was always in a state of thoughtless bliss. He never learned to cope without Frank beside him.

As Gerard ran down the familiar path that lead to where he first met Frank, an unwanted memory came flashing behind Gerard’s lids. He didn’t fight it off, just allowed it to sift through his memory banks and the wave of emotions filled him with nostalgia and pure heart aching misery.

Gerard blinked inquisitively at Frank as the man took out from his back pocket a red ribbon that was thick enough you could not see through it. Frank held it in his hand and told Gerard to turn around.

“Why, Frank?” Gerard asked genuinely curious as to what the man was doing.

“Just trust me, Gerard, it’s a surprise.”

Gerard wanted to protest but his curiosity bit him and took hold as with a roll of his eyes he finally turned around. Frank chuckled, more amused that Gerard was game for it. Frank wrapped the ribbon around Gerard’s eyes and tied it behind his head.

“You’re going to have to follow the sound of my voice and hold my hand, okay?” Frank instructed, whispering it behind Gerard’s left ear with a kiss as he entangled his fingers with Gerard’s.

With a shiver of excitement Gerard nodded his head, both of them ventured down the path together. Gerard nearly tripping every so often on roots or branches, both of them sharing laughs and jokes, usually Gerard hated surprises but this time around, Gerard couldn’t wait to see.

As they reached their destination Frank stopped Gerard, Frank stood in front of Gerard, “We’re here.”

“Okay…” Gerard breathed out, his body jittering with excitement.

Frank hovered over Gerard’s lips as he undid the red ribbon, “When it’s undone don’t open your eyes until I say so.”

Gerard smiled, “Okay.”

Once the ribbon was removed, Gerard remained true to his words as he kept his eyes shut. Frank grabbed his right hand and tugged him forward, Gerard followed and eventually they stopped as Frank gave a small kiss to Gerard’s lips.

Gerard welcomed the gesture and kissed back, “Okay, open them.”

When Gerard did, he saw a tree right in front of him; a tree covered in carvings of people’s name and he looked around, it was their spot—where they had first met.

“A tree?” Gerard perked an eyebrow.

“Not just any, we’re going to carve our names into it. So no matter what, this spot will always be our spot. We can always find each other at this spot.” Frank brought out a small switch blade and grinned enormously, “Well?”

Gerard shrugged back, “Okay, let’s do it.”

Frank carved in Gerard’s name first, Gerard took the switch blade after and carved Frank’s name onto it. Once it was done, they stood back and marveled at their graffiti.

It was a heart shape that Frank had carved out and within the heart shape was their names carved in.

“It’s our spot now,” Frank breathed and kissed Gerard’s neck affectionately and Gerard genuinely loved it.

He really loved Frank, and perhaps it was the smile or the kiss the man planted so softly onto Gerard that made it bittersweet as he came to realize…

That unrequited love had embedded itself into that tree.

Gerard kept his pace going until, in the darkness using his phones flash he found their spot again, this time not stumbling in the dark and nearly dying but he was at the spot yet again. Gerard had tried so hard to suppress how difficult it was to see their names still there.

He was tempted to cross his name out; he wanted to forget.

He wanted to forget that there was a moment where his life had so much life and love in it and it was held behind the hands that chiseled his name into this very bark. Gerard wanted to reject everything about Frank and how much he fell for the man, blindly—desperately, madly as he rationalized how insane he was, looking at their carved names hoping something would come out of it. That he could resolve everything, and make sense of it all...

"Our spot, huh?"

As he passed his finger over Frank’s name Gerard hears a branch snap in the distance, he gulps checking his phone and sees it is 3: 27 AM, he tries to place his flash in the distance towards the source of the noise. He notices a shadowy figure, as he adjusts his flash towards the figure, it then becomes as if he's been punched, Gerard is breathless.

The shadowy figure steps into the light of Gerard’s phone and it takes all of Gerard’s strength not to drop the phone from the absurd amount of shock as the person removes their hand from their face revealing a too familiar pair of hazel eyes.

The eyes belonging to the one face Gerard both loved and hated.

It was Frank.

Gerard quickly looks at his phone in disbelief as the lock screen flashes to 3: 28 AM, before he completely loses his sense of reality.

-6

Notes

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