Vacation Doesn't Count

“POV Gerard”

I, I can’t believe what just happened. I mean, I thought I was going to stay here for at least 2 more weeks, and then suddenly (while I was in a good mood, which is rare) my dad called me in to the tent we had rented at the camping. I thought it was simply to tell me to stay hydrated and take a snack (like always, it really gets on my nerves), but that wasn’t the case this time. He told me he had decided to take a different job so we had to go back earlier, as in tomorrow morning. He told me to go pack my bags then have some fun with my friends so I could say goodbye. The thing is, I don’t exactly have friends besides Matt. And then there’s Frankie, I would definitely have to tell him, sadly I know there is no easy way to bring that and we were so close and I loved him so much. I couldn’t do that to myself. I put my clothes in my bags messily and was ready to leave in about to 10 minutes. Our vacation was cut short by 4 weeks. 4 fucking weeks less with Frank. I was so upset I decided to cut out the pain again as well. It was not as bad as sometimes, but it still hurt, in a good way. It felt trusted again, being consumed with frustration and sadness it was… nice. After I had done it, I took a long shower and got dressed. I made sure to wear a long sleeve sweater, I decided to wear my 21 Guns, Greenday sweater. There was barely any time I had to tell Frank, tonight was my only chance, since well, we’re leaving tomorrow. We were going to meet up at 7 pm sharp at the club, it was a small walk from our tent to there and I had 5 hours left. I was done, I had nothing to do, I didn’t want to talk to my parents, and it was already 6:15 pm so I walked over there. I made sure to be a little early so I won’t be completely sober when I tell Frank, make it easier for me. I got there at 6:30 pm, had a few shots, and waited for Frank to arrive. I had talked to a few people, smoked a little, danced a bit, none of it could remove my thoughts of Frank from my mind, what I was going to say, how I would say it, I couldn’t think straight. I decided to stand next to the bar so I could refill my glass at any given time with more beer, less sober. Eventually I noticed someone was looking at me, I looked over to where I felt the gaze come from and saw Frank standing there. I had planned to make tonight less well, sex; and more romantic. Since I really do love him, even though I haven’t known him that long, I know I do. I was going to take him walking on the beach and maybe, I don’t rent a fucking horse we can ride on, or something, I actually have no idea. I bought him a coke bottle with his name on it… Not like that’s actually romantic, but oh well. I’m really bad at romance stuff. I wanted to do something special, and that’s what I told him. What I have to tell him now is an unpleasant surprise. I thought way too much for being only partly sober and carrying 2 beers. I was now slowly walking towards Frank, handed him his favorite bottle. He had greeted me with a warm smile after I felt my lips twitch upwards since I was actually really happy to see him, but I was also really upset and confused at what to do. I thought I was masking it alright but he asked, “Gee, what’s wrong?” I couldn’t help myself but flinch a little at the name, we had given each other nicknames and now we couldn’t be able to use them again, after I left. When I never see him again. I told him we should talk outside since fresh air usually refreshes my mind a bit, think a little clearer. It was as if he had been stapled to the ground since I had to tug his arm before he would walk along with me. Holding his hand, my hand trembling, I knew it was obvious I was nervous. Walking through the double doors I leaned against one of the poles that was right outside as he took a seat on the cold, stone bench. I could see he looked worried for me, also curious at what I was going to say though. I could barely bring the words over my lips, “Um… the thing is… I’m uh… leaving tomorrow morning.” His gaze was impossible to handle, almost loathing. He didn’t understand. I didn’t even understand, I mean, my dad just walked up to me and told me as if he was just supposed to drag me along since I was his son. He didn’t even do enough effort to have a full 10 minutes to talk to me this entire vacation. He’s always on the phone, working. He doesn’t care about me. I’m also not exactly a son to be proud of, but he doesn’t help to try to become a better person. With thoughts whirring through my mind and feeling my knees buckle, I was about to apologize to Frank. For what though? My dad being a self-absorbed bastard to hates his son’s guts? Right before I could feel my breath stop shaking a little so I could talk to Frank, he had turned his back on me and was walking away from me quickly. Sadly, I could see his shoulders shaking, shaking the way you quiver while crying.

Notes

ok the next chapter will probably be a bit happier xx

much love,
frerardxx