Vacation Doesn't Count

“POV Frank”

After a while of that going on at least once a week, we actually grew very very close (as in also friends during the day) and my parents seemed to like him since well, he was my only friend and they basically had to. Then again they didn’t know what happened in the evenings when I was “going out to get a beer or two” and “maybe smoke a little” my parents were ok with the drinking, as long as it didn’t get out of hand, and they didn’t really want me smoking at all, but I mean I only do it sometimes. Not this vacation though, when I’m with Gerard I do feel high all the time, but I’m actually not. This is the first time I have actually felt affection for a guy, but it’s so real. So true. I have only known him for about 3 weeks but I know I am madly in love with him. Every time I have nothing really to think about, my mind drifts away to him, his cute little nose, his sexy smirk, how his hair falls messily over his face as if he had just had sex, but he hasn’t. Simply the structure of his face, and of his body, even in the dark with the pale moon light, I often could actually see his body, his skin, bare stomach, back, legs, everything. I can feel it too, feel the pressure of his body, his amazingly hot body pressing on mine. The way he kisses me like I’m the only one he could ever see. In the dimly lit lighting how we whisper and look at the stars, beer bottles buried nearby in the sand, next to our clothes. I just don’t understand why he would pick me to do this to. I mean, I’m like. a potato. and he’s like a fucking sex god. You know what I mean, he’s totally out of my league. I feel like he picked me since it was so easy, but the way he gazes at me in the pale moon light and how he trusts me with everything and how we laugh while looking out over the ocean. That’s was makes it feel like he really does love me, like he needs me. It’s nice to feel wanted, especially by your best friend. Your only friend. Your… um. more than friends ish person. You know what I mean. Right now I’m actually playing a board game with my parents, I should seriously stop thinking about Gee (yes, we gave each other cute nicknames. Mine is Frankie). BUT ThE Way He MOveS his hips when he walks and the way he slides his fingers by the rim of my jeans… UGHHHHHHH.
Okay, this really needs to stop. The thing is, the last time I spoke to him, was last night. He told me he was going to make tonight very special, yet very sad. I decided to I guess, dress up or something for something extra special. I excused myself from the game so that I could get ready to “hang out” with Gerard. Putting on my eyeliner I wondered what he was going to do, this thought continued as I pulled a Smashing Pumpkins over my head, and pulled a fresh pair of jeans on. I honestly had no idea, we had basically already had all the steps in a relationship… I waved goodbye to my parents and walked on to the club. My thoughts were racing, but made no sense.

As I arrived exactly on the time we agreed on, 7 pm sharp, I saw Gerard standing in all black, almost worried, leaning against the bar. Oh god, he looked so good (like always). He noticed I was looking at him after a while and obviously tried to look less sorry and nervous. He started walking towards me. He had two beers in his hand, one for himself and one for me. He handed one of them to me saying, “Heineken, your favorite.” Slightly pulling up his lips forming a smile, which I returned warmly. He quickly stopped smiling and looked at me with a nervous and sad look in his eyes. I had no idea what was coming so I asked, “Gee, what’s wrong?” He winced slightly at the name, I was so confused… Had I done something wrong? Had he found someone new? He then replied, after a silence, “Let’s um… take this outside, okay?” When I nodded ever so slightly I let him pull me across the dance room, through the double doors, to the fresh, cool air. It felt nice, it was always so clammy in there. I was still anxious to find out what Gerard had to say, so that kind of dimmed my spirits. “Um, so the thing is… I’m uh… leaving tomorrow morning.” He said quietly. I just stood there, awestruck at how everything was falling apart right now. My family was moving anyway to some place I would have to restart, and probably find no friends for, well, ever, and then Gee is leaving me now… What am I going to do?

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