As soon as we pulled up back outside Gerard’s apartment he had stormed out of the car and stalked into the building. I followed behind as quickly as I could, not wanting to get locked out of his apartment. I barley caught the front door as it was about to slam shut and Gerard had disappeared back into his bedroom before I even had a chance to close the door behind me. That was that then, I guess.

I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room for a while, not really sure what to do. I hadn’t been left with any free time alone since coming to stay with Gerard, so I didn’t have any ideas of what I could do. My eyes scanned around the art filled room before resting on the small TV that rested in the corner, seemingly mostly unused. Shrugging and deciding that there was nothing better to do, I sulked over to it and turned it on before collapsing onto the sofa.

There were many feelings inside of me right now directed towards Gerard. I was angry at him for taking me away from my work when it was just beginning to get interesting, but I was also worried about him and why he was in such a bad mood after what had happened with the mystery guy dressed all in black. There was also a part of me that was scared of Gerard right now. Even if he had gotten hurt during that fight, there was no way he would take those injuries as being enough to lose the fight. I dreaded to think what state his opponent had been left in. And of course, lying somewhere deep below all these feelings was that strange feeling of attraction towards Gerard. I could feel it growing stronger with every day that went passed, and every day I was having to do more to convince myself that I was just confused in my emotional state and eventually I would see sense.

Doing my best to push all thoughts and emotions about Gerard out of my mind, I tried to focus on the episode of friends that was on the TV. I was usually quite able to just lose myself in crappy sitcoms like this and forget about my own life for a little while, and despite my problems being a lot worse than my usual high school dramas, it worked. I wasn’t sure how long I was watching the TV for, but it hadn’t even finished one episode when I fell asleep.

I was woken up by the sound of a door crashing shut and I jolted up right just in time to see the lock on the door slowly stop shaking from where it had been disturbed by the door opening and closing. Gerard must have gone out. You would’ve thought he would have told me. Now I felt even more uncomfortable than I did before being as I was the only one in his apartment. What the fuck was I supposed to do now?

My stomach grumbled loudly, reminding me that I had never gotten a chance to eat the sandwich Gerard had bought for me earlier. I hoped Gerard would be back soon, back to his usual self, so that he could cook us dinner. It would just be weird if I was to walk into the kitchen now and start using up all the food in his kitchen. It was a good thing I’d at least gotten the chance to drink my coffee earlier as I was certain that if I hadn’t of drunk it there was no way I would even be living right now. Deciding that a coffee was what I needed to try and distract myself from Gerard’s sudden absence, I shook my sleepy head and walked into the kitchen to flick the coffee machine on.

I sat at the breakfast bar sipping my coffee and staring straight forward, listening but not really hearing the distant drone of the television as it continued to play to itself. I was trying to decide what to do. Did Gerard not want me here anymore? Was that why he had just gone? To give him a chance to figure how the hell to get rid of me. Would Gerard just kick me out now, despite the bond that I felt, and was sure he had felt too, had been growing between us? I had no idea why he would, but I suspected that in this kind of mood he would do anything. I moved back onto the sofa after I had finished my coffee and sat staring at the moving pictures on the box.

I’m not sure how long it was until I heard the jangling of keys in the front door, but it definitely wasn’t as long as I had expected it to take. Gerard walked through the door looking a little drained, but more like himself now, carrying two pizza boxes. He walked over and placed the boxes down on the coffee table. Without saying anything to me he walked into the kitchen, grabbed two cans of coke out of the fridge and walked back to join me on the sofa. He placed the cans next to the pizza boxes and turned towards me but didn’t look at me.

“I’m sorry,” he said simply, “I didn’t mean to act like that. When things like what happened this afternoon happen, I find it quite…difficult to keep a handle on my emotions. I just thought it might be best if I was to just keep my distance from you for a while.” He sighed before continuing, “I didn’t want to leave you at the shop in case he came back and I wouldn’t be there to tell him to fuck off, so I brought you home. I realise now that it was the wrong reaction to take, and I should have just trusted you and Matt to take care of yourselves.”

I honestly didn’t know how to react to that. Eventually I settled for a pathetic, “It’s okay.” I was pretty sure he didn’t believe it.

“To make up for it I brought us pizza!” he tried to say happily, “I got you a veggie one and everything!” I smiled widely and completely genuinely. Now I could stop worrying about Gerard’s bad mood I was able to appreciate that I was actually about to eat one of my favourite foods just about ever.

We ate our pizza as we continued to watch the friend’s marathon on the television. After I had eaten my entire pizza Gerard cleared the boxes and glasses away. I found it kind of odd that he had only eaten one piece of his pizza, but I didn’t mention it. I had already noticed that Gerard was just one of those people who ate very little.

We spent the rest of the evening silently watching TV until we both decided to get an early night. Gerard escaped to his bedroom and I curled up on the sofa. I was excited about going to work at the store again tomorrow, hoping that it would be just like it had been with Paul and Francesca again.

The morning went exactly like it had the previous day. I woke up before Gerard and got dressed. We had pancakes again for breakfast as we carried on our casual conversations. On the way to the store we decided to sing along to iron maiden this time, and I was quite impressed with our performance. Gerard promised me he would bring me lunch again and then we went our separate ways. As soon as I walked into the shop Matt greeted me with a tight hug and then ran down to the recording studio again. He had seemed a little surprised to see me back, but neither of us mentioned it. I was already sure that Gerard had probably mentioned something to Matt about not letting me back here again, but that Matt hadn’t believed a word of it. Matt had probably seen Gerard in one of those moods before and so was used to that kind of attitude.

We didn’t get single customer throughout the morning. I had resorted to strumming random tunes on the Fender I had used the day before to keep myself entertained. I was so lost in the music that I didn’t notice Gerard glide into the store silently and stand watching me. As soon as I did realise he was there I stopped, not even bothering with an outro. For some reason I felt more conscious of what Gerard thought about my playing than what any other people thought. Anything I played for him would have to be perfect to stand a candle to the quality of his paintings which he shared with me.

“You’re really amazing at that, y’know,” he said matter-of-factly as he handed me the Starbucks coffee and sandwich bag.

“Thanks,” I mumbled sheepishly before taking a sip of the sweet nectar I held within my hands. I couldn’t help the sigh that escaped my lips as soon as the liquid hit my tongue. “What have you been up to?”

“Uh, nothing much. I’ve just been trying to do a bit of sketching. You?”

“Working, supposedly. Although no one ever seems to come in here, so it seems kind of pointless…”

“It’ll get better, you’ll see.”

Out of nowhere Matt turned up behind us and exclaimed loudly, “Gerard!” I was so surprised that I dropped my entire sandwich on the floor and the coffee almost tipped all over me. The sandwich, I could deal with, but if my coffee had dropped I think I would have actually died. Still, I wasn’t exactly happy about my lunch being splattered all over the floor so I sent Matt a scowl that he just laughed off. “What cha doing back here so soon?” Matt asked as he enveloped Gerard in a hug that Gerard returned somewhat reluctantly compared to the last hug I had seen the two of them exchange a couple of days ago. If it hadn’t have been for the reluctance Gerard was showing towards the hug, I think jealousy would have been eating me alive by now.

“I’m just bringing Frank his lunch, although he doesn’t seem to be having much luck with it seems as both today and yesterday he never got to eat it.”

“Aw, sorry dude!” Matt said to me as I still sat slumped on my stool grumpily, “I didn’t realize you would jump outta your skin the second I turned up!” Matt was laughing, but I was not. It didn’t seem to matter to him though.

“So, did everything get, y’know, sorted yesterday?” Matt asked Gerard quietly, not really considering the fact that I was sat less than a meter away from the two of them so I would be able to hear them even if they were fucking whispering.

Gerard noticed this and his eyes flickered over to me briefly before resting back on Matt. Gerard grabbed Matt’s arm and began to pull him away whilst calling behind me, “We’ll be back in a minute Frank.” I actually felt kind of hurt that they were excluding me from whatever it was they were going to talk about. There was nothing I could do about it right now though, because I couldn’t exactly just follow them down there. I wasn’t like those brave, if slightly idiotic, people in films and books who would just quite easily hide in the corridors and eavesdrop on the secret conversations. I was way too scared of what would happen if I got caught. It was only Gerard, so I doubted that anything that bad would happen, but it would result in a lack of trust between us, which I realised had become something my emotions wouldn’t be able to handle in their current state.

Instead, I walked over to the counter and stared intensely at the glass surface, watching as the rays of light shone through the cracks between the window display and reflected off the crystal surface. I did everything I could to not let actual thoughts seep into my fragile mind, whether they be about Gerard, Matt or anything else that seemed to be simultaneously destroying what little I have left of my life, whilst also holding it together at the seams.

Eventually the two men returned from downstairs, laughing loudly. Matt had his arm slung carelessly over Gerard's shoulder and Gerard's arm was wrapped around Matt's waist. It wasn't an intimate arrangement, it was just two friends trying to keep themselves standing as they both laughed their asses off, but it did nothing to help the sharp feeling of jealousy coursing through my body. I couldn't even explain it. Gerard was just some guy I met a couple of days ago. Why should whoever he hangs out with and what he does when he's with them bother me so much?

"Everything okay?" I asked the two of them as they came to lean opposite me against the counter, still with their arms wrapped slightly around each other.

"Yep," Gerard replied with a slightly embarrassed smile playing at the edge of his lips.

"Are you okay?" Matt asked me in a suggestive tone, putting extra emphasis on the 'you'.

"Yeah?" I answered, unsure if he was looking for that or another answer.

"You don't seem too sure about that!" Matt laughed before the two of them burst into cackles of laughter. I didn't know what the fuck they were laughing about, but I suspected it had something to do with me. I decided that I would approach Gerard about it later, but for now I was just going to ignore the two annoying hyenas and go to clean up the sandwich that was still spilt all over the floor in the middle of the room.

After Gerard and Matt had been talking for a while longer and I had begun inspecting the guitar I had been using, waiting for the two of them to leave so I could continue playing, Gerard came over to me and took a place on the stool opposite of me again. "Sorry," he said sheepishly, staring at his closed hands that rested between his knees.

"What for?"

"For acting like a complete idiot, and probably freaking you the hell out with how me and Matt were acting..."

"Well, considering everything else that has happened, it's becoming increasingly harder to freak me out," I laughed awkwardly, trying to break the tension that had inexplicably rested between the two of us.

Gerard tried to chuckle, but it failed miserably. "It's just, you understand how people get when they are with friends, right?" I nodded. "Well, me and Matt haven't hung out in a while and when we finally got past talking about the stuff from... from yesterday, we started talking about other stuff... Well, Matt was taking the piss out of me for other stuff, should I say..."

I waited for Gerard to go on but when he didn't I ended up saying, "Are you gonna tell me what this other stuff is, or just leave me hanging here in suspense?"

"Yeah! Well, um, the plan is to try and tell you, I guess. Look, Frank, um, I... The thing is..."He sighed, aggravated at himself and nervous because of the situation. He ran his hands through his raven locks of hair before continuing, "I just... Ugh, this is just stupid, never mind."

"You can't start to say something and then not finish Gerard, that's just not fair!" I was incredibly eager to know what he had to say as my curiosity that had been building up over the past couple of days had now crashed together instantaneously and was consuming every other thought I had. All I knew was that I needed to know what Gerard had to say because it could be very important for me to figure out what was going on with just, well, everything.

"Look, it's not even important," Gerard sighed as he leapt out of his seat, trying his best to run away from the situation he had gotten himself into.

"Well, it must be if it's making you act like this," I said as I watched helplessly as Gerard began to make his way towards the front door of the shop, "Gerard-"

"I'll come pick you up at five, 'kay Frank?" Gerard called, interrupting me as he pulled the door open.

"Gerard!" I called again only to be cut off again by Gerard shouting, "bye Frank!" As the door slammed shut behind him.

I sat staring at the door in utter confusion for a minute before I heard Matt mumble from behind the counter, "smooth, Ger, real smooth," before he disappeared down to the basement again.

Over the rest of the afternoon I was surprised to find we actually got a couple of customers. They weren't that exciting because all they were really looking for were quick little things, but they were better than just standing doing nothing. The rest of the day dragged because I was waiting for the moment when Gerard would come and pick me up and I would be able to question him about what happened earlier. I had rehearsed all the situations in my mind of all the things he could tell me. They varied from actually realistic to him telling me he was some twilight style fucking vampire, and I actually found myself comforting myself that the latter couldn't be the case because, as attractive as Gerard is, he doesn't fucking sparkle in the sunlight. It was actually kind of worrying that my subconscious believed that he was a vampire more than he happened to be moving away on Friday so couldn’t look after me anymore or something like that, which happened to be one of my other theories. I’ll be honest, I didn’t have many realistic theories, as they were just boring my mind.

When Gerard finally arrived I was flicking through the records, trying to find something that I could play on the record player I had discovered in the corner earlier today. He told me it was time to go like he usually did, but then he went to wait for me in the car, unlike he usually did. I went to say goodbye to Matt only to find him at the top of the stairs already so I didn't even have to go downstairs. The farewell was brief, only involving a quick "bye" and one of Matt's suffocating hugs, and then I went and got into Gerard's car.

He already had music blaring loudly out of the speakers, and had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. I hadn't seen him smoking before, and I couldn't help but be captivated by how his delicate fingers held the cancer stick between his perfect lips. I froze midway through clipping my seatbelt in, unable to look away from the godly sight of Gerard pursing his lips to blow the smoke slowly into the cars atmosphere. I continued to stare right up until the point when he put the stick back up to his lips, but then I realised how much of an idiot I probably looked, so I hurriedly plugged in my seatbelt in and then collapsed back into the seat to stare out of the front windscreen instead.

We had barley gotten out of the car park before I started to talk. It was just me and Gerard in the car now, so there was no where he could go to escape. I realised now that this could be why he might have been smoking. Maybe it was a habit of his to smoke when he was nervous, and he might have been nervous about me approaching him about what he had started to say earlier that day. I didn’t let the idea of making Gerard this uncomfortable deter me though. “So, what were you trying to say to me at lunch today?”

Gerard sighed and chuckled lightly as he unrolled the window and flicked the blunt cigarette out onto the pavement. “Wow, you’re not one to beat around the bush, are you?”

“No,” I said as I crossed my arms over my chest and turned to look at him, “Now talk.”

“It was nothing, really.”

“Well, it must have been something! And I want to know. It could be something important! It could have a huge impact on my entire life. What if, right, me knowing this simple piece of information means the difference between life and death for me?”

“Life or death?” He raised his eyebrow at me, but I refused to react. Instead, I just sat staring at him as he looked away from me again and directed his focus back on the road, sighing. “Look, it really was nothing important. It was just Matt convincing me to be an idiot. No good would come out of me telling you and by not telling you then things will just stay exactly as they are. Don’t you want them to stay that way? Don’t you like them that way?”

“Well of course I like things the way they are,” I sighed, “I just really want to know…” I fell back into the seat to stare straight forward again, defeated. I could feel Gerard relax next to me, obviously satisfied that I had dropped the subject.

Just as Gerard was turning into the parking for the apartment complex I said, in very much the same way a five year old would ask a parent how are babies made, “Gerard, are you a vampire?” Gerard shot me a confused look as he turned the ignition off. “And when I ask, I mean of any variety. All the way from blood and guts, to sparkly as shit.” He continued to stare at me with a completely bewildered look on his face and I just returned his stare with a completely straight and serious face, which I was impressed that I managed to keep up as on the inside I was falling to pieces over getting to stare into his eyes for so long.

“No Frank,” He replied very slowly after he realised I was being completely serious, “I am not a vampire. Of any kind. Happy now?”

“Yes!” I simply replied in an overly happy tone as I pushed the car door open and got out of the car. Gerard sat in the car for a few more seconds, trying to process the fact that an eighteen year old man had just completely seriously asked him if he was a vampire, before he finally got out of the car too.

We both made our way back up to the apartment, and once inside we both automatically made our way over to the kitchen. I made us coffee as Gerard began to cook us our meal for the evening. His cooking was incredible, as per usual, and afterward we shared the chore of washing up again.

After dinner Gerard made his way over to one of the ledges below the bay windows with a sketchbook and, without saying another word to me, lost himself within the world of his drawings. I stretched out on the sofa and switched the TV on to some random channel. I flicked through the programmes until I found something that I remembered and thought I used to enjoy, and then settled in for what I hoped would just be an average evening with nothing out of the ordinary happening at all.

Notes

Thanks for Reading!!
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