Three Words You Never Want To Hear

The trip to Starbucks had certainly been an interesting one.

Gerard had been so excited as we entered the small dimly lit store, his smile never leaving his face. Even when the waitress had mistakenly added whipped cream to the top of my hot chocolate, he beamed back at her, politely asking if she could get me another.

"So you don't like whipped cream?" He smirked, revealing the smallest little dimple.

I could feel the heat hitting my cheeks as he gazed at me with such intensity. It felt like he was mentally stripping me. Well, that thought didn't help. "I, uh, I don't really like a lot of diarey products."

His jaw dropped dramatically. "Who doesn't like diarey?"

"Me, apparently," I looked down at my hands, picking at my nails nervously. My earlier bravery had clearly left me. "I just hate the taste of milk-"

Gerard looked as if he was going to do a spit take. I flinched as he choked on the coffee in his mouth. I had been about to ask him if he was okay when he croaked; "You don't like milk?"

I laughed at the look on his face. It had been priceless. "Yeah, it's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal?" He exclaimed. "Milk is a very popular product, you know, it's in most of the food you should eat on a daily basis."

I tried to keep a straight face. He looked genuinely surprise by my revelation. "I don't have a problem with chocolate, or coffee for instance," I gestured at his mug. "I just don't like milk on it's own."

"And you don't like whipped cream," he smiled, shaking his head. "Honestly, if you had told me you didn't like coffee.."

He trailed off, getting me the impression that if I had told him that, there would have been harsh consequences. I chuckled.

Now, you may be thinking, 'Why on earth is this guy narrating his pointless trip to Starbucks?', well, it was much more than that to me. Sure, at the time I hadn't known that I would cherish this moment with Gerard later on in life, but now that he's gone, my memories are all I have left.

His long dark hair had been all messed up from our strandling of each other earlier on, his hazel eyes lit up with enthusiasm as we sat in his favourite restaurant. With every smile a small dimple would be exposed, leaving me breathless.

I barely took in the room around us as I was so engrossed in every he was saying. However, I will never forget the comfortable leather chairs we sat on, or the wooden table we put our steaming mugs on.

I had been about to take a sip of my new hot chocolate, when Gerard began frantically waving his hand, signalling for me to stop. I raised my eyebrows questioningly. "I have to capture the moment," he explained, pulling out his phone. "Wait, wait. Okay, go!"

I laughed, feeling ridiculous as I lifted the mug to my lips.

I'd never met someone so easily entertained. The chocolate tasted so delicious, I couldn't help but keep drinking. I gulped loudly, swallowing all of it within a thirty seconds. Gerard had his mouth pressed into a hard line as he bit back his laughter.

I pulled the mug from my lips, placing it back on the table. I wiped my lips with my sleeve. I had put on one of Gerard's shirts on the way out, realising I had still been shirtless. "You can put that away now," I gestured at his camera phone.

He chuckled, putting it back in his pocket. "Sorry, I had to make sure I captured your reaction, you should've seen your face!" He clutched at his side, now in full hysterics. "Are you sure you don't want another? You seem pretty thirsty!"

I laughed, his laughter contagious. "Alright, alright, I loved it. You were right, Starbucks is amazing."

"You'd better believe it!"

We spent an hour after that just talking about random things Gerard would ask me, and in return I'd ask him questions back. At the time I been a little weary as to why he was so interested in such trivial facts about my life, but now I understand exactly why he did it.

I realise now that the reason for his constant questioning was because he felt guilty for never getting to know me, when we had so little time left.

Gerard looked up at me, just staring at me for a while. I blushed under his gaze, trying to look as if I was not paying attention.

However, eventually I had to break the tension. "Uh, maybe we should get going?" I stood up slowly to leave, dragging my chair as I did. He was starting to worry me, he had almost the same look on his face as he had had whilst watching Bridge to Terrabithia. I wondered whether it had something to do with this secret he was reluctant to tell me about.

"No, wait," he stood up too, putting some money on the table. "Let's go down to the park around the corner."

I blinked, barely comprehending his words. It was pitch black outside, and he wanted to go to the park? "Do you realise what time it is?"

"Three thirty," he said matter-of-factly, as if this fact didn't bother him in the slightest. "It'll be fun, trust me."

He began to walk towards the door, holding it out for me when he reached it. I paused just in front of him. This guy was insane. "Gerard, it's pitch black outside," he shrugged, clearly not understanding my worry. "Can't we just go back to your place?"

The waitress was looking at us with growing interest. She had been eyeing up Gerard all evening, not that he had noticed. I found it humorous, if only she knew that we weren't straight. Then she'd stop sticking her nose in.

Gerard sighed. "We'll have plenty of time for that later, you're not going anywhere soon," he winked, and my mind immediately started playing dirty images in my mind. He had continued speaking before I had even had time to blush. "Trust me, I just want to get to know you."

"We just spent over an hour taking," I reminded him as we left he shop. "How much more could you need to know?"

"Everything," he replied, all humour gone from his face.

From then on I had stopped my complaining, focusing on the road ahead as we made the sort walk to the park.

The cold air hit my cheeks, ice cold on my skin. I shivered, I hadn't realised it was so cold. Perhaps it had been because I had been so preoccupied before, what with Gerard making playful hints in my ear about what we could do afterwards back at his place, or maybe it was because I had felt so heated after my attempts at getting Gerard back on the bed.

It took us only two minuets to reach our destination, and I saw Gerard run straight for the swings. I shook my head in wonder, wondering how on earth such a grown man could be so excited at the site of them.

I made my way over to him, sitting on the swing next to him. He didn't start swinging however, which threw me off. Why run to the swings in such a hurry just to sit on them? We could have sat on the bench opposite us.

He turned to me, his hair blowing away from his face. He was so beautiful. "Frank.." he trailed off. It looked to me like he was having an argument with himself in his mind, trying to decide if he should say something.

"Gerard?"

"Look, I know you're really confused right now. Especially with the way Mikey was acting earlier. There's a reason I got in touch with you again, and I can see that you're curious about it."

"No, Gerard, no," I grabbed him hand soothingly, stroking it. "I know you're not ready to tell me, and I'm fine with that. Please, don't force yourself into something you don't want to do. I can wait."

He looked up into my eyes. "I know, but I feel like I'm keeping you in the dark.."

"No, Gerard, you really don't have to do this," as much as it was killing me to know, I could tell he wasn't ready. My mind was telling me to take the opportunity and listen, but my heart was telling me otherwise. As cheesy as that sounds.

"Frank, I-"

I grabbed his neck, maybe a little too forcibly, attacking his lips with my own. He groaned, unhooking his leg from the swing, his lips in contact with mine the whole time. He pressed his body up against mine, wrapping him legs around my waist.

We could barely fit on the small seat together, I felt myself falling backwards. I stayed steady though, grabbing his backside. He began grinding on me, his tounge entering my mouth.

Things began to get pretty heated, and I knew he'd break away any minuet now. I took advantage of the moment and slid my hand up his shirt, feeling his warm skin under my fingertips. I traced circled on his chest, which seemed to make him moan louder.

He pulled away, my hand still gripping his hair. "Fuck, Frank," he gasped breathlessly. My fingers still traced his body.

"Can we go back to your place now?"

He smiled, sliding from my lap. I groaned in annoyance.

"Come on," he extended his hand, which I eagerly grasped. "Let's go."

My heart rate must have sky rocketed at that moment. Although I had been trying to persuade him to go further with me all night, I suddenly felt extremely nervous. Would he accept me as I was? I wasn't exactly the muscled man of his dreams, in fact my stomach folded over from all the junk food I was constantly eating.

Was I ready to fully expose myself to him?

I knew I was over thinking this, I mean, I'd have sex before. But I'd never had such strong feelings for someone, never known that person as long as I had known Gerard.

Once we'd got back to the car, he pushed me against it, smirking playfully. My palms were sweaty, so I tried to keep my hands away from him. He took this the wrong way however, grabbing both of my hands and wrapping them around his neck.

"I've waited so long for you, Frank," he whispered huskily in my ear, kissing my neck.

I moaned, pushing his head as close as I could to my skin. "You've waited? I've been begging you all day." My words came out in a slur, and my previous worries seemed foolish now that he was kissing me.

He pulled away, still smirking. "Let's get going then."

The drive back to the Way's house was long. I kept throwing sneaky glances towards Gerard, and everytime he'd be staring right back. I'd tell him to keep his eyes on the road, and he'd laugh.

It took all my will power not to lean over and grab him, I had to clench my fists from the effort. He smiled the whole way there, seemingly in no stress at all. I felt slightly offended by the fact that he was able to compose himself.

We reached the door, practically running to open it. Gerard struggled to open the door, his keys shaking with anticipation. We could hear the TV still on, and I looked at the time on my phone.

It was four o'clock in the morning, and Mikey was still awake. A pushed away my concern as Gerard finally stumbled though the door, me following close behind.

We tried to make a quick dash upstairs, but Mikey was already waiting for us. He looked tired, exhausted, and his eyes were red and puffy. I wondered if he'd been crying, forgetting what I had been so eager for just a few moments ago.

Gerard seemed to be thinking similarly to me, as he paused to look at his brother. There was something in his eyes.. guilt?

"You okay?" He asked, running his hands through his hair.

Mikey nodded. "Did you have fun?"

His voice sounded hoarse. "Yeah, we went down to Starbucks and then hung out at the park."

"Why are you in such a hurry?"

"A hurry?" Gerard looked at me to help him out. My mouth remained closed. I didn't trust my voice. "We're tired, y'know? It's like, four in the morning."

Mikey frowned. "Oh. I wondered if you guys wanted to stay down here for the night."

Gerard looked at me pleadingly, as if trying to make me understand why he felt obligated to do it. As much as I felt sorry for Mikey, I couldn't help but feel extremely disappointed.

"Yeah, sure. We'll just go get our stuff," he turned, and I almost expected a flirty wink.

However, as Gerard walked past me, I saw only the tortured expression he had worn twice tonight already. I wanted nothing more than to wipe that expression from his face forever, but of course, I didn't know the reason behind it.

He flicked on the light to his familiar room, and I smiled at my shirt on the floor. I picked it up, not wanting to make a mess.

Gerard grabbed the covers and pillows, tucking them under his arm. I raised my eyebrows at him. I had thought we'd be doing a little more than this. I knew we had to spend the night with Mikey, but this was the only time we'd have alone together. Gerard caught on to my thoughts.

"Hang on," he said, walking out into the hallway and throwing the covers down the stairs.

"Owch, Gerard!" Mikey cried from the bottom.

"Sorry! We're just gonna get changed and we'll be right down!"

He walked back in, closing the door behind him.

"Finally," he whispered.

His finger hooked onto my jeans, pulling me towards him. His lips attached to mine, and I felt the familiar sensation I got everytime we kissed. His other hand was cupping my chin, stroking me gently.

He pushed me onto the bed on my back. He didn't hesistate, getting down on his knees in front of me. I sat up in shock, a wide grin was spread on his face.

"Gerard," I gasped.

"It'll be quick," he promised, undoing my jeans.

I won't give you all the gory details of what happened, but let me tell you, this was the best I'd ever received. His hands, gentle but caressing, were amazing. I'd never felt pleasure like this before.

His mouth, warm and soft, wrapped around me perfectly. His tounge flicked over me in a motion that was pure bliss, and I had to bite back a moan. I knew Mikey was downstairs, and the poor guy would be traumatised if he heard me screaming his brother's name.

I grabbed the mattress, feeling that I was close. Gerard sensed this and stopped momentarily, looking up at me. He smiled, replacing his mouth with his hand.

I gasped as he stroked me, backwards and forwards. He was going too slow, and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Faster, god damn it!"

He complied, and before I knew it, we were done.

He kissed my lips quickly, pulling himself up from the floor.

"You'd better go get ready for bed," he whispered. "Mikey's waiting."

Notes