Maybe This Could Work...

I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with the person you love. I mean, I get to see Gerard every day, because we live in the same house, we prepare dinner together every evening and sleep in the same bed every night. We see each other in the hallways during school hours and three hours a week in his classroom. But still, each time we’re apart I feel this ach in my chest that just doesn’t go away until I feel his arms around me or his soft lips on mine or just know he’s there close to me.
The only logical explanation I have for this is that I have fallen so hopelessly in love with him, with his smile, his eyes, his laugh, his voice, his hair, his face, his hands, his... everything. I have become dependent on all those things, on him, having no reason to live without him. I have become this needy boyfriend... correction fiancé. But not needy by buying me gifts or shit like that, but by always wanting hugs, holding hands, kisses. All those little things that make the butterflies in my stomach start a thunder storm; the split-second glances we share in the classroom, all the good and interesting conversations we have, goodnight whispers, song lyrics that remind me of him, long warm hugs, simple days where we don’t have to do anything special, but the day still ends up being special, future plans about our wedding, the occasional kisses on the forehead, the meaningful ‘I love you’s... All those things are now my purpose for living.
I know it’s stupid to think like that, but it does feel that way. Like, if I don’t get that good morning snuggle, or the goodnight I love you, I don’t feel complete. Silly, isn’t it? How much a person, how much love can change us. And we want to be around that person, not so much for how we feel about them, but for how they make us feel about ourselves.
Each second of my life that I spend with Gerard, I actually feel good about myself for a change. I don’t think about all the things that are wrong with me or wrong with my life, I think about how goddamn lucky I am to have found this amazing man, who excepts me the way I am, flaws and everything.
I love Gerard. And not just because he makes me happy, not because he makes me feel special, not because he’s the sweetest person ever... But because I just love him. And I don’t think I need any reason for that. Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same or at least made from the same thing, it being the reason we fit together so good.
These things became more obvious to me in the last couple of days, when Gerard and I actually started talking about our wedding plans.
“Let’s get married in September” the planning started, by Gerard saying that, while we were re-watching American Horror Story: Murder House.
“Why September?” I asked, raising my eyebrow at him, trying to ignore the fact one of the characters just died, because she was hit by a car, and focus on the conversation that was beginning to take place.
“’Cause it’s still kind of warm, the leaves changed colours...” he said, trailing off, his finger playing with a strand of my hair.
“Hh, I always imagined to have a winter wedding” I said, shrugging.
“Winter’s nice too” Gerard agreed, lightly nodding.
“Just imagine it... Snow everywhere, a winter wonderland wedding, just you, me, Mikes, your family, ‘cause mine is non-existent” I bitter laugh at that, before continuing: “And we’d get a nice hotel room, where it’ll be nice and warm and we can take a romantic bath together...” I ran my finger playfully down Gerard’s chest.
“You’re teasing” Gerard smirked, looking down at me.
“Oh, am I?” I giggled, making contact with his dark hazel eyes.
You can just guess how that night came to an end, but to say the least... We might have to get a new couch.
But Gerard is the person I will marry. He is the soul I choose to dedicate mine to and tie our souls together with the strings of marriage all in the name of our live which is stronger than steel. I wish Gerard could hear my thoughts right now, so he could see how much I love him. I don’t doubt that he knows how much I love him, but I still love telling him, reminding him of said love.
And I know he loves me just as much. We make each other so happy. At that moment I realised that I was attached to Gerard. You know you’re attached to someone when you’ve gotten so used to talking to them on a daily basis and they’ve become a part of your happiness. Gerard wasn’t just a part of my happiness, he was basically 95% of my whole happiness.
But when we don’t talk, it’s like a part of me is gone and I just start missing him uncontrollably.
Being with him is like a fantasy; the racing of the heart, the not being able to breathe, the feeling like time stops when our eyes meet. The not being able to breathe can also feel like a nightmare when my chest is tight and my eyes are wet with tears. But even the arguments are fantasy-like arguments. We fight from passion (or from over caffination), not from dislike.
*Ring*
I was snapped out of my day-dreaming by the school bell announcing the end of yet another boring, same-old same-old day. I followed the example of everyone else, putting my books away in to my bag, ready to followed them out to the crowded hallways, but I was stop by the voice of my angel calling my name.
“Frank, may I speak to you for a moment?” he said, keeping it on a student-teacher level, since people were still exiting the classroom. I flung my bag over my shoulder, then walked up to his desk, his white hair shinning from the lights. He pretended to be writing something and I pretended to be very much annoyed by being called up to his desk, until the last person finally left, closing the door.
Gerard looked up at me with a big smile and I sat down on his desk, leaning down and kissing him gently.
“What’s up baby?” I asked, when we pulled away.
“I’m gonna be home a little late today” he said.
“Again? Why this time?” I sighed, unintentionally rolling my eyes.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, there just something I need to take care of” he said, looking at me with his apologetic puppy eyes. I frowned, not liking one bit how Gerard has been acting for the past week. Almost every day of the week, he had ‘a thing’ or ‘something’ he needed to take care of. In all honestly, I was hoping that meant he needed to murder someone and not that he was cheating. Of course I didn’t say anything to him. So, I just quietly went along with it, praying that he wasn’t seeing someone else.
“Just don’t be too late, okay?” I said, smiling a little.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be home in like an hour, maybe two. Just don’t forget to feed Mikey” he smirked.
“He’s not our dog, Gee. He can feed himself!” I sighed. Gerard just laughed, then he pulled me down for one last kiss before shooing me off in the cutest way possible.
When I got home, I found Mikey on the couch – it’s where he spent most of his time – playing that voice command video game.
“Walk forward” he said.
“You have reached the end. You can open the door or go back” said the game, with that annoying robotic female voice.
“Open door” said Mikey and on and on it went.
“How do you not get bored of this shit?” I asked, throwing my coat on the floor next to the couch.
“It’s the closes I can get to a video game” Mikey shrugged.
“Yeah, okay...” I mumbled, heading in to the kitchen.
“What do you want for lunch?” I shouted opening up the half empty fridge.
“Whatever. I ain’t that hungry anyways”
I grabbed the leftovers from last night’s dinner and shoved it inside the microwave, returning back to the living room to wait for the oh, so familiar ding, announcing the finished food.
“You are one excellent chief” said Mikey when we started eating.
“I know, I do wanders with the microwave and the food Gee hasn’t thrown out yet” I smirked.
We ate in silence, the tv playing in the background. As we were cleaning the dishes, Mikey spoke again.
“Okay, so by this point I should probably tell you” he said.
“Tell me what?”
“I need to tell you, that you need to go upstairs and change” he said with that annoyingly attractive smirk of his.
“Change in to what?” I frowned.
“Just go upstairs, alright” then he left, returning to the living room. I looked towards the staircase leading up to the bedrooms, then back at Mikey, now on the couch, then back at the staircase.
A bit afraid and more curious I walked upstairs, skipping the stairs two by two.
I was honestly expecting something bizarre thing; maybe Gerard somehow came home before me and is now laying on the bed, which is covered in rose paddles, and him only dressed in a silver thong, with handcuffs and a whole bunch of sex toys.
Truthfully, I was just lacking sex. With school and spending most days with Gina, Gerard and I didn’t really have much time or the energy to do anything.
I carefully opened the door, holding my breath. But all I saw was the same bedroom; no rose paddles, no Gerard in a silver thong, no sex toys. Everything was the same as we had left it in the morning before we left. The only difference was that there were some cloths laid out on the neatly made bed and a note on top of them.
I picked up the note, mumbling the quickly written words out loud.

Dear Frank,
Put on those cloths and make yourself sexier than ever (tbh, you always look sexy ;) )
I’ll be picking you up at seven.

Love, your fiancé <3
P.S.: Eyeliner will not hurt in this case

I lightly smiled, putting the note away and looking at the cloths. Black skinny jeans and an American Idiot Green Day shirt, with the hand grenade on it and a black hoodie.
I was really tempted to call him and ask what the ever loving fuck this was all about, but knowing him, he would either answer and tell me nothing useful or not answer at all. So instead, I took the cloths and went in to the bathroom with a fresh boxers and socks, deciding on taking a shower before I’d change.
After the hot shower I put on the cloths Gerard had laid out for me and as he asked in the note, I put on eyeliner. Not to say I didn’t like wearing eyeliner, I was just shit at putting it on. But I managed to put it on so it looked okay.
I still had a good hour ‘till seven so I went back downstairs and crashed down on the couch next to Mikey.

The hour wasn’t even up, when the door bell rang.
“It’s for you Juliet” said Mikey. I gave him an annoyed look, not really caring that he couldn’t see me, then I got up and went to answer the door. In front of the door stood Gerard, in all his white haired glory, in black skinny jeans and a shirt with the art work of the 21st Century Breakdown album by Green Day. What is it with the Green Day shirts?
“Your Romeo has arrived” Gerard said with a flirty smile, leaning against the door frame.
“Did you and Mikey rehears this?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Rehears what?” Gerard frowned.
“The Ro- Never mind. What’s this all about, I thought you had a thing?”
“This is the thing” he winked, taking my hand and leading me out to his still running car.
I managed to stay quiet for the next two minutes, until we reached the end of our street, turning left to I don’t know to where.
“Okay, okay, are you gonna tell me where we’re going?” I asked, slightly grumpy, yet more excited.
“Yeah, no. It’s a surprise” he said, keeping his eyes on the road.
“Fine” I sighed, a light smile on my face, as I looked out the window. The snow had already melted away, leaving muddy puddles all around the sidewalks. But it was no where done being cold, freezing winds still blowing around. At this point, when the snow has melted, I actually wish it were spring already, so it would no longer be cold and the world would come back to life from its winter slumber.
“But are you at least gonna tell what’s this thing with the shirts?”
“Nope, it’s all part of my brilliant plan” he said, smiling when I looked at him.
“Okay, be secretive and mysterious”
“I’m planning to be for the next hour or so” he lightly laughed. I smirked, returning to stare out the window, looking at the passing houses, stores and occasional parks. Half way through the drive it started raining, thunder piercing the quiet and lighting decorating the sky.
“Does this interfere with your ‘surprise’?” I raised my eyebrow.
“Not really. It makes it more romantic to be honest” he smiled, making another turn.
“Oh, so it’s going to be more romantic. How romantic was it before?” I asked.
“Very romantic, believe me”
“Okay, I trust you” I smiled, still a little unsure about his ‘plan’ – whatever it was.
We didn’t talk during the rest of the drive and we didn’t need to. The air was filled with the sounds of Morrisey and The Smiths and the rain drops hitting the glass. It kind of reminded me of the two weeks we took to think about us, when Gerard gave me a ride home. Well to my previous home that is.
In the end, we ended up on a completely filled parking lot, whit only a few parking lots left.
“Come on, are you seriously not gonna tell me what this is about?” I whined as soon as we stepped out of the car, Gerard immediately opening up an umbrella and rushing to my side so I wouldn’t be wet.
“You’ll see in a minute, sweetheart” I said reassuringly, taking my hand in his and entwining our fingers. We walked down the street, then turned right and being met by a small line in front of a theatre and above the theatre was a sign that said TONIGHT LIVE: GREEN DAY AT 8 PM
“Oh, my god...” I breathed, not really believing my eyes. I turned to Gerard, a big grin on his face.
“You’re kidding!” I gasped.
“Nope” he said with a pop at the end, taking the two tickets from his jacket pocket and showing them to me. I was honestly so overjoyed I was at a lose for words, so I threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tight and repeating: “Thank you, thank you, thank you”
Gerard just giggled, hugging me back and pressing small kisses to my head.
“As much as I am grateful for this, I really really am, I have to ask. Why?” I asked, when I finally pulled away and we took our place in line.
“Well, we got engaged and we didn’t even get a chance to celebrate it... So this is it! This is us celebrating it. And to be honest it’s also our first official date” he said, smiling, evidently proud of himself he had thought of such a perfect first date/engagement celebration. Without another word, I grabbed hold of his shirt and pulling him in to a deep, gentle kiss. Gerard wrapped his arms around my hips, bringing us even closer under his black umbrella. It was one of those romantic kisses under the rain, where everything else around us disappeared in to silence, leaving us in our own little bubble of pure bliss.
We pulled away soon after, moving a little closer to the entrance, when Gerard said: “The rain is falling”
“Yeah, I know baby. I can see” I told him, frowning slightly at his random statement.
“No, I mean, like the rain falling reminds me of you” he smiled.
“Why? Am I that depressing?” I joked.
“No, just the rain is falling hard, just like I’m falling for you” he said, his voice smooth as honey.
“You’re still falling for me?” I asked, slight disbelief in my voice, but it just warmed my heart to hear him say that.
“I think I’ll be falling in love with you forever. Each day more, each day harder and deeper”
Then he kissed me. It was one of the sweetest kisses we ever shared.
When we pulled apart, I couldn’t stop staring at him, wanting to forever memorise every single detail about him. How his hair framed his face so perfectly, how his hazel eyes shined, how gorgeous his smile was when he showed his adorable little teeth. How he would get lost in his mind whenever he drew or painted, how he hummed when he cooked. How his hands would cup my face right before he would kiss me and how he would smile after. It’s the little things he does that make me so crazily attracted to him!
“What?” he giggled, when he noticed I was staring at him with a goofy smile.
“I think I’m gonna love you for a long long time” I said, smiling.
“Yeah?” Gerard smiled.
“Yeah, I love you Gee”
“I love you too Frankie, forever”
“Forever” I agreed, even though in my opinion forever wasn’t enough.
“Maybe forever is our okay” Gerard grinned, entwining around fingers, looking at the entrance.
“What?” I frowned and giggled at the same time.
“Oh, Gina explained this to me one time I took Mikey to see her. It that book she likes, The Fault In Our Stars, or whatever it’s called, where the two main characters say to each other ‘okay’, meaning forever or always or something like that” he explained.
“Oh, yeah, she explained that to me once too. It’s really sweet and slightly cheesy” I laughed.
“Yeah... So, is ‘forever’ our ‘okay’?” Gerard asked, biting his lower lip.
“Forever?” I grinned.
“Forever” Gerard smiled, then we kissed again.
A moment later, the doors of the theatre opened and the line started moving.
The concert was in one word, amazing! They opened up with 99 Revolutions and by the end of that song, the crowd was already completely wild. And of course they played the hits; American Idiot, Holiday, Jesus Of Suburbia, St. Jimmy, 21 Guns, Basket Case, When I Come Around and a lot more of them. But in my opinion, the best one was Boulevard Of Broken Dreams, when all the lights in the venue went out, only three spotlights on Billie, Tre and Mike on stage, and everyone, including Gerard and I, lifted up their lighters, slowly moving our arms left and right.
“I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s only me and I walk alone”
I looked up at Gerard, watching him sing along with the other hundreds of people.
“I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleep
And I’m the only one and I walk alone”
“I love you!!” I shouted over the singing crowd.
Gerard turned to me, smiling.
“What?!” he yelled back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, tears of pure joy running down my cheeks. The song said that ‘I walk alone’. It might be a lonely road, actually the one that I have ever known and it’s true I have no fucking idea where it goes, but I’m sure about one thing. I am not walking this Boulevard of Broken Dreams alone. I have the love of my life to share this journey with me. With him I will never be alone again.

After the last song – it was Jesus Of Suburbia, one of my personal favourites – we slowly headed out, like everyone else, holding hand and smiling while we talked to each other about how awesome the show was.
“This was amazing baby! I mean, oh my god, this was the best thing ever” I cheered as we got outside, dancing along the sidewalk as we made our way back to the car. It had long stopped raining, but there was still that rainy smell floating in the air. Gerard just watched me and laughed at my goofiness.
“Oh. My. God!” I shouted, receiving a couple weird looks from the other people leaving, but I didn’t care. I was happy. I was really really happy.
“You’re adorable” Gerard giggled when we got to the car, opening the door for me.
“Oh, you’re such a gentleman” I laughed, sliding in to the passenger seat.
“I know. I’m amazing” he said, then rounded the car and sat down in front of the stirring wheel.
“Oh, I wouldn’t go that far” I frowned.
“You’re amazing too sweetheart” I said, pecking my lips.
“I know” I agreed and Gerard started the car. I thought we were going back home, but clearly Gerard had other plans.
We didn’t drive far, but we ended up in front of a small hotel. It wasn’t fancy or anything special, but knowing Gerard it was special in some way.
We went inside and Gerard checked us in. We took the elevator to the fifth floor, going to room 502.
Gerard opened the door and I thought my eyes would fall out of their sockets.
There was a trail of rose paddles leading from the door down the small hallway, to the bedroom, which was dimly lighted. I looked up at Gerard, who softly kissed me, a smile on his face.
“Go on” he said against my lips. I smiled, taking his hand in mine and walked down the hallways.
I was met by even more red rose paddles around the bed and on the bed, candles lit all around and champagne in a cooler on the night stand.
Before I could even utter a single word, I felt Gerard’s body plaster to my back, his lips on my neck. Instead of words, a quiet moan left my lips as I reached back, tangling my fingers in Gerard’s hair, his hands running over my body. Gerard quickly turned me around, slamming his lips to mine, his strong arms picking me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, clutching on to him, my fingers tangled in his hair.
He carried me to the bed, gently placing me down on the soft mattress, my head resting on the soft pillow. I watched Gerard kneel between my legs, leaning down and momentarily resealing our lips as he took of my shirt. He then kneeled back up, slowly removing his own shirt. I sat up, placing my hands on his hipbones, kissing down his chest and stomach, hooking my fingers behind his belt. Gerard’s hands cupped my face, turning my head upwards and connecting our lips, his thumbs gently pressing in to my cheeks. He pulled away, sliding one of his thumbs over my lips.
“I love you Frankie” he breathed out against my lips.
“I love you Gerard” I breathed out and resealing our lips, pulling him down with me on the bed. We slowly worked on what was left of our cloths and soon enough, we were both naked, Gerard lying on top of me between my legs, as we kissed softly, our tongues gently sliding against each other, our hands exploring each others bodies.
“Mmm, I wanna feel you so bad” Gerard mumbled mid kiss, his fingernails digging in to my tight.
“I want you inside me, baby. Make me moan out your name” I said, my hand wrapping around his hard member, gently stroking him. Gerard moaned out, reaching for the nightstand, where, beside the cooler, was a bottle of blue coloured lube. He squeezed some of it on his hand, then slicking up his completely hard cock, before returning back to me, licking my lower lip, slowly and seductively, his eyes keeping contact with mine the whole time, until I felt the head of his dick press against my entrance.
“No prepping?” I asked, breathing heavily.
“I’ll be slow, sweetheart. I’m gonna make love to you tonight” he purred, before he lightly pressed inside of me. Truthfully, it stung a little, but the lube and Gerard’s slow movements helped a lot, to make pleasure surge all over my body.
“Oh, Gee” I moaned out, parting our lips, my head sinking in to the pillow.
“God, Frankie, you’re so tight” Gerard gasped out, his whole cock buried inside me. He waited, until I nodded to him, telling him that I was ready. He reattached our lips, than started slowly moving in and out of me, spreading pleasure and a little pain over me.
“I love you so fucking much baby” I breathed out.
“I love you too” Gerard said, pushing inside me again, gently grazing my prostate, sending a wave of pure pleasure through me.
“Forever?” I moaned.
“Forever!” Gerard almost screamed out, because only a few more thrusts and I could feel him come inside me.
Before he came down from his orgasm, he pulled out from me, sinking lower and lower, until his mouth reached my painfully hard dick, putting the precum leaking tip in to his mouth, lowering himself down until his nose touched my lower stomach. He started sucking slowly, deep throating with every bob of his head.
It didn’t take long, before I reached my climax, screaming out Gerard’s name, my orgasm taking me completely.
Gerard lied down next to me, propped up on his bent arm, pressing gentle kissed on my shoulder as I came down from my orgasm.
“You’re amazing” I breathed out. Gerard pressed a soft kiss to my lips, his hand touching my cheek.
“How do you feel?” he asked, his voice soft.
I looked over at him, pressing against his warm body.
“I feel that I am in deep deep love with you and it will never change and I hope you feel the same” I said, a small smile curving my lips.
“Of course I feel the same way. Frank, you make me feel so special, so loved, like no one before” he said, gently kissing me and I returned the kiss.
I couldn’t help but to think...
Be with someone who is proud of you. Someone who, first and foremost, takes pride in being with you and wouldn’t dream of keeping you on the down low. Someone who acknowledges your accomplishments and your strengths, but is also there to help you when your weaknesses get the best of you. Someone who is proud when you succeed and supports you fully, but is also there to pick you up when you fall down. Someone who feels blessed and lucky to have you and appreciates you and your efforts no matter how little or big they may be. Someone who knows that nobody could compare because they’ve already found someone who embodies all that they’ve ever wanted.
I found all that and more in Gerard and hopefully he found the same in me. And I was beyond glad to be so lucky to have found him, to have the privilege to call him mine and only mine.
“Hey, baby?” I quietly asked, sliding my fingers down his side.
“Mhm?” he hummed.
“I just want to let you know that I love you so much. You’re beautiful, stunning in fact. And I don’t ever want to let you go. You’re the highlight of my every day and the only person I want to call mine. You’re perfect. You’re my perfect princess” he blushed when I called him that.
“Perfect to me. Perfect for me. I love you so much. And just please, don’t ever leave”
We kissed again.
“I’m never leaving you. Not ever. ‘Cause you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life. You’re dearer to me than all the bats in all the caves in the world, Frankie” he smiled.
“Did you just go The Addam’s Family on me?” I laughed.
“Maybe. But it was in a ‘I love you’ way so it counts” he said.
“Yeah, it counts”
We opened up the champagne, not really bothering to poor it in the two glasses. We just hid under the warm covers, sitting up against the head board of the bed, drinking the champagne out of the bottle, Gerard’s arm around my shoulders, drawing soothing circles in to my arm.
“You know what we should do?” Gerard asked after a while.
“What?”
“We should take a road trip. Together. Just the two of us”
“That would be fucking nice”
“I know. And I don’t care where we go, just as long as I’m with you”
“I wanna explore so many places with you”
We fell silent again.
“We should get married” Gerard then said.
“Baby, we are getting married” I smirked, showing him the ring on my finger.
“No, I mean, not like in a year or six month, that’s too long! I mean tomorrow! Let’s just drive down to Atlantic City and get married” he said, all excited.
“You’ve clearly gone insane” I mumbled, taking another sip from the bottle.
“I mean, why not?” he smiled.
“Why not? Gee, are you being serious?”
“Yes, I am being serious! I mean, no one has ever left me so speechless. No one has ever been of a magnitude that I couldn’t comprehend them and made me fall in love with them every day more and more like you have. I don’t want to wait anymore, Frank! Let’s just get married”
I stared at him wide eyed, searching for any signs that was joking. But it was clear that we wasn’t joking one bit.
I love him. He’s mine. I want to be with him forever.
“Okay” I said after a while.
“Okay?” Gerard smiled widely.
“Let’s get married tomorrow!”

Notes

Hey sweethearts...
I apologise for taking so long to update, but to tell you the truth, I was done with this story, I honestly didn't want go write it anymore, but then my best friend told me to just take a break from it for a while. And I did, so I feel kind of better about it and it's plot. All in all the story will go on till the end and I really hope you'll like how I've planned it out.
Any ways, hope you like this, cuz it took me forever to write it (again, not good at writing happy chapters)

Love you guys, dont forget to comment, rate and subscribe
Stay Fabulous <3 xo