Maybe This Could Work...

It’s amazing how such a small thing, like a ring, can affect us so much. For the second time in the short four month, that felt like years sometimes, since I’d met Gerard my life had been turned upside down. I was living in a world of pure bliss, happily in love and engaged to the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, share everything with him, even have babies with him. Experience everything with him, live through it all. We were living in our own little bubble where only we existed and all the little things we loved and found frustrating about each other.
We woke up every morning in each other’s arms, and went to sleep the same way. We made a lot of dinners together, which usually ended up with us throwing food at each other, always needing a bath after. We enjoyed each other’s presents more than usual, even when we had to school work, we weren’t bothered anymore if the other person was around.
But I could never get Gina off my mind. I felt like I didn’t deserve to be happy whilst my best friend was slowly and painfully dying, alone in a hospital room. In the time I had spent with her in the hospital, I tried to fake my happiness, but Gina being Gina, she saw right through me and then gave me a firm talk about how I shouldn’t me sad, since she’s not dead yet, plus I was engaged to the love of my life. And she was right. I should be happy for now, I should be happy while I still have her in my life. In all honesty I did try, but every time I began to feel happy, my brain reminded me that I shouldn’t be happy, stabbing a knife of sadness in to my heart and leaving it there for the next couple of hours.
So besides spending a lot of time with Gina and spending most of what was left of the day with Gerard, I spent a lot of time alone. Especially in school now that the only friend I had was in the hospital. No one but the teachers knew why Gina was gone. None of the other students knew her aside from being a cancer patient and they didn’t really care much to get to know her more than that. I was the only one that knew her better, and I liked it that way; just us two in our own little weird world, filled with music and comics and stupid inside jokes that only we understood. Knowing that will end in two months drove me in to a state of pure sadness. Knowing my best friend will be gone forever after two short months broke me inside each time more; the more it became reality, the more it hurt.
But right now, I had to push both my engagement and Gina out of head and focus on what was waiting me in the next five minutes. A few nights ago when I couldn’t sleep, I was thinking about how nothing in my life is really permanent and how nothing will never be, but I really did want something permanent in my life, something that will always stay the same, and that’s when I got the idea.
I’m going to get my first tattoo.
The next day I thought long and hard what I should get, having decided that it should be special in some way, have a meaning. As soon as I knew what I wanted to get, I went down to the tattoo shop and booked an appointment for the next day after school.
And that’s where I was now, walking to the tattoo shop, where Gerard was already waiting for me, since he finished classes before me.
Honestly I was nervous about getting my first tattoo, but I wasn’t nearly as nervous as Gerard was for coming with me. He was even nervous when I asked him if he could help me with the design for the tattoo, saying that he’ll probably ruin it and it’ll look horrible and that I’ll have that horrible thing on my skin forever. It wasn’t horrible at all; it had just the right amount of effort and scariness that it looked beautifully scary.
But besides the being nervous, I was also very excited, adrenalin pumping through my veins, my heart racing faster with each step I took.
I was now less than a minute away and I could already see Gerard standing in front of the shop, looking like a little ball of nervousness, messing around with his phone. He was just so adorable, he always was so damn adorable, I wanted to marry him that second.
After the day we got engaged, we didn’t talk about it much, maybe a ‘I love being engaged to you’ or ‘I can’t wait to get married’, but other than that, nothing. I was kind of glad we didn’t, because even though I was excited out of my mind to be married to the love of my life, I was still scared about the whole idea. What if we were to ever break up before we could even get married? Or get divorced later? I was truly afraid of that. But I didn’t tell Gerard that, I didn’t want to give him any doubt about marring me, or having him think I was having cold feet.
“Hey” I greeted him when I reached him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“Hey sweetheart” he smiled, entwining our fingers.
“You nervous?” he asked, his eyes flickering to the door of the shop.
“I guess, but I’m really excited” I smiled, gently squeezing his hand.
“I honestly don’t want to go inside” Gerard admitted, biting his lower lip.
“Baby, I can go in alone. I just don’t want you to pass out from seeing the needles” I giggled.
“I’ll be fine... As long as I don’t see my fiancé’s skin being repeated pierced by a needle, I’ll be okay” he said, taking a deep breath.
“You sure?” I smiled.
“Yeah I’m sure”
“Okay, then, let’s go” I said and pulled Gerard behind me as we entered the tattoo shop.
The shop, aside from the woman behind the reception counter, was empty, quiet music playing in the background. There were beautiful images of different tattoos in the white walls, a couple display cases with different piercings and plugs, and a dark blue couch on which Gerard would wait for me while I get tattooed.
I stepped to the reception counter, Gerard clutching on to my head like for dear life.
“Hey” I awkwardly said, to gain the woman’s attention.
“May I help you?” she asked, slightly raising her eyebrow, but a pleasant smile on her lips nevertheless. She had dark brown eyes, that almost looked black and her hair way platinum blond with the tips dyed black. She had a septum piercing and two lip piercings on the left side of her lip and a colourful tattoo picking out from the neck line of her black shirt with the shops logo on it.
“I have an appointment at three”
The woman, her clip on tag said her name was Roze, quickly typed something in the computer she had on the counter and clicked a couple times before she turned back to me.
“Okay, wait here a moment, I’ll just go get Ryan” she said then went in to the back room to get Ryan, who I assume is the tattoo artist.
“You think Gina will like it?” I asked Gerard.
“What? The tattoo?”
I nodded.
“Yeah she’s gonna love it” he assured me, right before Roze came back with a guy that looked like he was in his forties, with a thick bear and a mustache decorating his face.
“You Frank?” the guy asked.
“Yeah” I nodded.
“I’m Ryan, I’ll be doing your tattoo today” he said and we shook hands.
“Let’s go then” said Ryan, nodding to the room in the back.
“Okay, I’ll just wait here” Gerard’s said, giving me a quick kiss on the check, before I followed Ryan to the back, receiving a wink from Roze as I passed her.
“Have a seat Frank” said Ryan and pointed at the brownish red chair in the middle of the room. I did as he said, my heart slightly racing.
“So what will we be doing today?” he asked, rolling next to me on his chair.
“Well...” I said, reaching in to my pocket, reaching out the drawing Gerard made of the tattoo and I showed it to Ryan.
“I’d like this, on my back” I told him, showing him the exact place where I wanted it, as he inspected the drawing.
“Okay, let’s get to work then” Ryan smiled.

The tattooing itself wasn’t painful at all, I even liked the feeling of the needle puncturing my skin over and over again. The only thing that annoyed me was the constant buzzing.
Over an hour past when the buzzing finally stopped and Ryan, with a proud smile on his face, said: “Okay, little dude, it’s done. You wanna take a look?”
I frantically nodded and followed Ryan to the mirror across the room. I turned my back to the mirror and looked over my shoulder. There on my back, right between my shoulder blades was the jack-o-lantern that Gerard had designed, in black ink.
My skin was still lightly tingling when Ryan applied some cream on the tattoo.
“This looks awesome!” I exclaimed, running my finger tip across the ink.
“I’m guessing you like it, then” Ryan smirked, removing his latex gloves, throwing them in the trash bin.
“I love it!” I smiled, putting my shirt back on. Ryan then proceeded to explain to me how to take care of the tattoo so it would heal properly.
When I came out of the back room, I found Gerard talking to Roze as they were looking through one of the magazines that was on the small coffee table next to the sofas.
As soon as Gerard notice me, he sprung to his feet.
“So, show it!” he smiled. I turned my back to him, a huge grin on my face, and lifted up my shirt, showing him the tattoo.
“What do you think baby?” I asked, containing my excitement as best as I could.
“It’s looks awesome” said Gerard, then pressed a kiss to the back of my neck, his arms wrapped around my waist. I pulled my shirt back down, turning around in his arms and pressing a soft kiss to his lips, only to be interrupted by Ryan.
“Okay, okay, guys, you’re adorable and everything, but none of that kissy stuff in my shop” he said, stepping behind the counter. Both Gerard and I giggled and Roze just winked at us as she went to the back room.
After I paid and promised Ryan that I’ll come back for my next tattoo, Gerard drove me to the hospital, for another day of what Gerard like to call ‘Frankie and Gina day’.
Before I got out of the car, Gerard and I shared a lingering kiss, agreeing that Gerard will pick me up when visiting hours will be over.
“I love you baby” I whispered against his lips, our eyes locked.
“I love you sweetheart. Say hi to Gina, okay?” Gerard smiled and I nodded, getting out of the car and stepping in to a very cold January afternoon.
I checked in at the reception like almost every day, the nurse behind the counter already greeting me by name (her name was Susan), chatting while she signed me in. I again went up to the second floor, bursting in to Gina’s room.
“Sup, little monster” I smiled at her as I plopped down on the bed next to her.
“Why are you so chirpy today?” Gina asked, raising her eyebrow.
“You’re gonna freak out if I tell you” I smirked.
“Well tell me then! I need something interesting in my life right now, ‘cause all I have for fun, are the interns that come in her with my doctor, who get really worried over my dark jokes” she sighed, rolling her eyes.
“You sure you wanna know? It’s a big thing ya know” I smiled, casually sneaking my hands behind my back.
“Iero, I don’t have forever” she said with an annoyed face, but excitement in her voice. I smiled widely, then turned around and tugged up the back of my shirt, exposing the Jack-O-Lantern tattoo on my back.
“Oh you motherfluffer” she gasped and I started giggling.
“Is real?” another gasp. I felt her fingers gently run across the tattoo: “Oh mother-bloody tits, you actually go a tattoo!” she exclaimed.
“Yes I actually got a tattoo” I laughed pulling my shirt back down.
“Why a pumpkin?” she then asked, sitting cross-legged next to me.
“Because I wanted something that will always remind me off you. And Halloween is our favourite holiday of all times! And if I remember correctly, my mom made us carve pumpkins our first Halloween as friends” I explained, a huge grin on my face.
“Oh my god... You really did that for me?” she smiled and I could see tears welling in her eyes.
“I did this for your friendship, so it’ll last forever” I weakly smiled, feeling tears prickle in my own eyes. Like we were reading each other’s minds, we both leaned forwards, wrapping our arms around each other in a tight hug.
“I’m gonna miss you so damn much” I quietly said, the tears in my eyes now flowing.
“I’m gonna miss you too... But I’ll always watch over you from wherever I’ll be” said Gina, her voice slightly cracking. At that moment I realised something. What Gina and I had, was true love. Not the kind of love that Gerard and I had, that was not only emotional but also physical. What Gina and I had was the truest love any person can have; we had friendship love. We were best friends, soul mates in a way that no one understood but us. And I finally understood what true love meant. Love meant that you care for another person’s happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.
We always made each other happy. I knew that without her my life would have been miserable and we were so damn lucky to have become friends.
“Hey, no crying okay, at least not today, ‘cause today we’re gonna have fun” I said, sniffing away the tears. Gina nodded, wiping away her own tears, before a small smile appeared on her face.
“Okay” she nodded again: “So what do you wanna do today, besides scare the interns like we usually do?”

We did anything you could possible do in a hospital while attached to an oxygen machine.
We raced around the hallways on wheel chairs, until the nurses started yelling at us and we were escorted back to Gina’s room. We didn’t stay there long, because we snuck out to the cafeteria and stole each our own tray, then headed to the stairwell. We placed the trays on the edge of the stair, sat down on them and slided down the stairs, shrieking and squeaking the whole way down.
We went to the movie room and watched The Fault In Our Stars with a couple other patients that were there, including a really sweet six year old girl names Lana, who was just bursting with questions. She was so adorable!
We ate cake (also stolen from the cafeteria) and talked and by the end of the day, we were back in Gina’s room, lying on her bed and listening to music on Gina’s phone on low volume. We talk about bands and music in general, expressing our love for the music we listen to and debating different facts about each band. In the end we realised, we had a deep obsessions, Gina more than me.
“Look it simple” Gina said when I pointed out she was more of a professional stalker than just a fan.
“I didn’t choose The band life” she said: “The band life crawled from the depths of hell and grabbed me in a chokehold and dragged me in to the fiery pits of hell. But I don’t know, it’s really nice and fun down here, you know. I can be myself and the music, the lyrics and all the amazing people and it’s all just amaze-balls”
I loved how her eyes sparked when she talked about the music she listened to. It was her passion and she lived and breathed the band life – not literally, but if she had more time, if she were healthy, I’m absolutely, one hundred percent sure, she would had gone after her dream and achieve it.
From my friendship with Gina, I had learned that if a girl loves a band more than anything, you should take a look around her and the mess she’s in. Because maybe it’s more than just love, more than what it seems... Maybe it’s more than singing song and never-gonna-happen dreams. Maybe, just maybe, that band saved her. It lightened her darkest days, when nothing else could. Maybe the band even enlightened her from her depressed and sorrow filled ways and maybe they’re all that’s there when her demons become too loud, when everything becomes too much and when she thinks no one would or could understand, when she wants to end it all.
And maybe that’s why she loves them, sometimes even more then her friends. The songs, the lyrics, the band members... They would never ask why or turn her back on her, because of a stupid meaningless fight. They would always be there for her, no questions asked, understanding her problems without even knowing exactly what that problem was.
“I’m gonna really miss the shit out of you, you know that?” I said, sniffing.
“No, stop that! Today we’re being happy, okay? We are gonna stay happy until the end, and when I’m gone you’ve gotta promise me that you’ll continue being happy, ‘cause you’re gonna get married to Gerard, and you’ll see the world and have little adorable adopted babies with your future husband-“
“Oh, so you’re thinking of our babies already?” I laughed, giving her a look that said she’s crazy.
“Yes, I predict, you’re gonna have...” she giggled, then thought for a second: “Four kids! Three girls and one boy”
“You’re insane! I am so not having four kids!” I gently slapped her shoulder.
“I’m not saying you need to have them now, but like in ten years tops, you, Frank Iero, will have three girls and a baby boy with your hot-ass husband, and you’ll live in a big ass house with three dogs and a cat, and you’ll be going on play dates and parent-teacher conferences-“
“And then a magical unicorn will come from the sky and poop Skittles, right?” I smirked.
Gina rolled her eyes at me, before proceeding to stick her tongue out at me.
“You’ll see, in ten years you’re gonna admit that I was right” she said, a big smile on her face.
“Yeah, sure” I said mockingly, leaning back on my elbows.
“But seriously, you know what one thing you really have to promise me?” Gina then said, sitting up and crossing her legs.
“That being?” I asked, a light smile on my face.
“You have to do something about that insane musical talent of yours! Start a band, like we’ve always talked about” she looked at me, her blue-grey eyes sparkling.
“GG, I don’t know-“
“I won’t take no for an answer. Do what you like so you will be free, okay? ‘Cause you’ll love it; and loving what you’re doing is happiness, alright!” her face was completely serious.
“Fina, I promise” I sighed then.
“You pinkie promise?” she asked, raising her eyebrow.
“Pinkie promise” I said, bringing up my hand and extending my pinkie finger. Gina hooked her pinkie around my, both of us gently pulling.
“You think we’re getting a little too old for pinkie promises?” Gina asked in a giggle.
“Nah” I shook my head. We both laughed. We unhooked out fingers, a silence falling upon us.

We spent what was left of the day just talking about random things, how life was, is and how it’s going to be... for me. And she kept insisting on those four kids Gerard and I would apparently come to have in the future.
By the time I left, I was completely overwhelmed with emotions, feeling like my chest would explode at any moment. I wanted to take away Gina’s pain, take away her dumb cancer, have her by my side forever, but knowing that none of that was possible hurt like a bitch.
“Did you have fun?” Gerard asked when I sat down in the car next to him.
“Yeah” I nodded, a sad smile curving my lips. We shared a quick kiss, before Gerard drove away and on to the road. I watched the hospital slowly shrink the distance, covered by darkness of the night and lights of the surrounding buildings.
“Frankie, you okay?” Gerard asked half way towards home.
“Not really” I mumbled, my head leaning on the cold glass of the window. Gerard entwined the fingers of his free hand with my fingers, squeezing gently, letting me know he’s there if I need to talk.
“It just...” I began, but the words got caught stuck in my throat.
“Just what, sweetheart?” he asked, his voice soft.
“I’m nothing without her”
That’s what the Joker said to Batman once. ‘I’m nothing without you’. Looking back on my friendship with Gina, we weren’t exactly like Batman and the Joker, nor like the Joker and Harely Quinn. But we completed each other all the same. Crazy, twisted and broken, but perfect for each other in a way no one would understand.

Notes

hey sweethearts... so, amm... I apologise in advance if this chapter isn't good, but I had really bad writersblock and I just couldn't bring myself to write (that's why it took longer then usual to update)
the thing is that i write bad happy chapters, I never was good at writing happy thing and i probably never will be

so sorry *hides in room for the rest of the year*

stay Fabulous and I love you all (thanks for the comments, and 41 votes) <3 xoxo