Sing It Out

*One month later*


There isn't really much that had happened during this surprisingly long space of time. Gerard and I grew forever closer. And to be honest I didn't want to rely on him so much or vise versa. I tried to spend more time with mom as she started to become more and more upset by the day, I think it's my fault- but she promised it's not. Our band- My Chemical Romance, didn't hear anything from that Agent and we started to loose hope after time so we all didn't really talk to each other and it was killing me. When I talked to Ray, he replied only with one word or two, it was the same with Mikey and even sometimes Gerard. I hadn't seen Bob in a long time, he hasn't been at school and we keep on getting these shitty substitute teachers that don't have a clue what were doing or even know how to teach. Sometimes I just think they just grab someone off the street to look after us for an hour or so. I fucking hate this school. I'm snapped out of my thoughts when someone approached me. 
"Frank?" He asked, of course it was Gerard. 
"Yeah Gee?"
"Do you still love me?" He asked honestly. I blinked a few times and my chest began to get tighter, he really thinks I would stop loving him, and also needs confirmation. 
"Of course I do, more than anything!" I said as I turned my head a little too violently and my still healing wound stung. Fuck this. 
"It's just, you seem really distant lately, especially after- you know- and me and the boys are concerned." He told me. So they all still talk but they don't talk to me because I'm a moody bitch because I nearly fucking died?! Well I'm fucking sorry but I'm still not happy with the fact that I was nearly murdered. 
"Gerard, I nearly died, I thought you died or got hurt, I got better but now my mom isn't doing great and my friends and boyfriend try to distance themselves from me because I'M the freak!" I shouted. I didn't mean to raise my voice, but I couldn't help it. Gerard winced at my tone of voice. 
"I didn't want you to feel overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do." 
"Maybe I should ask you the question you asked me? Do YOU still love me? Or have you realised that I'm just a useless nobody that nobody ever really gave a shit about?" I snapped. Gerard started to become angry as he snapped his hands to his hips and scowled. 
"Well I'm fucking sorry Frank. But you know what, you're not the only person with a fucked up life. You know what I've been through- what my family's been through- and now I've had to deal with coming back, trying to control this weird feelings for a boy in my class, sort out my music, sort out a band and fucking save my boyfriend from being fucking murdered by my old buyers. Maybe think about it that way!" He shouted as I could see the tears in his eyes on the verge of bursting. 
"Gee I-"
"Don't call me that, fuck you and don't fucking bother coming to my house or talk to my brother. Fuck you you ungrateful bastard." He concluded before turning on his heels and storming away. Mikey turned the corner at the top of the hallway and looked at Gerard confused. He looked at me and tried to make his way over before Gerard grabbed him by his coat and dragged him away. 
Fuck. 
I'm such a fuck up. 
My one thing, the one person I love the most fucking hates me and wants to stay away from me. I quickly raise to my feet in a daze and aimlessly stumble to the bathroom. 

Once I made it to the bathroom, I let my tears fall as I crumbled against the sink, like a coward. Why did I let this man get so attached to me just to know that is fuck up his life?! I'm such an awful person, I never really did deserve someone as good as him. And now he's gone with what was left of my heart. 
Soon the bell sounded for the next lesson and I ignored it, I tumbled out of the bathroom, regained myself and sprinted for the exit. The receptionist tried to stop me but I just sprinted past her without a second thought. Now I was out in the slightly chilly New Jersey air as I went in the direction of nowhere. 


*Time lapse, later that day in the park*

I managed to find the clearing that I found Gerard in. This was the only place that Gerard probably couldn't remember and the one place I could be close to him in a way. I have to admit, I miss him so much. I just want him back at my side and I want to tell him how much he means to me, how much I love him, how much I need him. I allowed my tears to flow and before long, I developed a headache and reached for my reliever, cigarettes. I lit one up and took a long, deep puff and I felt, just for one second, that everything would be okay. That I would go home and I would go to Gerard and I would hug him, kiss him, tell him that I needed him and beg for his forgiveness and that we would be fast asleep together in bed tonight. But I know that that's not going to happen, I really don't want to get my hopes up. Fuck it. 
Without hope there's nothing. 
Without love or companionship, I'm empty. 
Without Gerard is- unthinkable. Unacceptable. 
A thought rushed through my head, I could go after him, right now and explain everything and apologise. And that's what I'm going to do. 

I almost tripped as I jumped out of the tree and headed in the direction- or what I thought was the direction- of home. I ran,  I stumbled, I got knocked down but I got right back up again. I did this for a while until I came out into the desolated section of the park, where a lonely looking pond was featured with a derelict bridge.
But what I saw on the bridge, I really did not like the look of. It looks like I found Bob, but he was at the top of this bridge with a gloomy face and a rope, tied in a noose at the end. 

Notes

Sorry for this shitty update but I HAD A JOB INTERVIEW TODAY! Getting old is scary
Anyway, could I ask a favour?
Could you guys please vote for this Fic? I would really appreciate it and for the people that already have, thank you so much!